MEMORIAL DAY

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service. There are many stories as to its actual beginnings, with more than two dozen cities and towns laying claim to being the birthplace of Memorial Day. There is also evidence that organized women's groups in the South were decorating graves before the end of the Civil War. While Waterloo, New York, was officially declared the birthplace of Memorial Day by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966, it's difficult to prove conclusively the origins of the day. It is more likely that it had many separate beginnings; each of those towns and every planned or spontaneous gathering of people to honor the war dead in the 1860's tapped into the general human need to honor our dead, each contributed honorably to the growing movement that culminated in General Logan giving his official proclamation in 1868. It is not important who was the very first, what is important is that Memorial Day was established. Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all.

Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on May 5, 1868 by General John Logan, National Commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, and was first observed on May 30, 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every state of the Union on the last Monday in May (passed by Congress with the National Holiday Act of 1971 to ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays), though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas, April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 10 in South Carolina; and June 3 (Jefferson Davis' birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee.

Traditional observance of Memorial day has diminished over the years. Many Americans have forgotten the meaning and traditions of Memorial Day. At many cemeteries, the graves of the fallen are increasingly ignored or neglected. Most people no longer remember the proper flag etiquette for the day. While there are towns and cities that still hold Memorial Day parades, many have not held a parade in decades. Some people think the day is for honoring any and all dead, and not just those fallen in service to our country.

There are a few notable exceptions. Since the late 1950s, on the Thursday before Memorial Day, the 1,200 soldiers of the 3rd U.S. Infantry place small American flags at each of the more than 260,000 gravestones at Arlington National Cemetery. They then patrol 24 hours a day during the weekend to ensure that each flag remains standing. In 2004, Washington D.C. held its first Memorial Day parade in more than 60years.

To help re-educate and remind Americans of the true meaning of Memorial Day, the "National Moment of Remembrance" resolution was passed in December, 2000, which states that at 3 p.m. local time, for all Americans "To voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to "Taps."

The Moment of Remembrance is a step in the right direction to returning the meaning back to the day. What is needed is a full return to the original day of observance. Set aside one day out of the year for the nation to get together to remember, reflect and honor those who have given their all in service to their country.

But what may be needed to return the solemn, and even sacred, spirit back to Memorial Day is for a return to its traditional day of observance. Many feel that when Congress made the day into a three-day weekend (in with the National Holiday Act of 1971), it made it all the easier for people to be distracted from the spirit and meaning of the day. As the VFW stated in its 2002 Memorial Day address: "Changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed greatly to the general public's nonchalant observance of Memorial Day."

On January 19, 1999, Senator Inouye introduced Senate Bill 189 in the Senate which proposes to restore the traditional day of observance of Memorial Day back to May 30 instead of "the last Monday in May". On April 19, 1999, Representative Gibbons introduced the bill to the House (H.R. 1474). The bills were referred the Committee on the Judiciary and the Committee on Government Reform. To date, there has been no further development on the bills.

TAKE A MOMENT TO STOP AND REMEMBER - - AS OUR FAMILY DOES:


My Great-Grandfather Levi Shirkey, Meigs County, Ohio volunteer.

NATIONAL MOMENT OF REMEMBRANCE

For many Americans, Memorial Day signifies a guaranteed three-day weekend, one when corporate buildings, the post office, and government offices are closed. But Memorial Day is much more than that; it’s a time for Americans to collectively reflect on the impact of the lives lost in U.S. wars and to celebrate all war veterans, a national day of mourning.

Many cities, towns, and states hold traditional celebrations over the three-day holiday weekend. Holiday activities include parades and visits to national cemeteries where United States war veterans are buried. According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs website, “on Memorial Day the flag should be flown at half-staff from sunrise until noon only, then raised briskly to the top of the staff until sunset, in honor of the nation’s battle heroes.”

According to the United States Department of Veterans Affairs (the VA), Memorial Day historically signified the day that U.S. individuals recognized those who fought, and more importantly, those who died in the Civil War. Although it began as a tribute only to those who fought in the Civil War, it is now considered a day of observance to recognize soldiers who have fought in all U.S. wars.

The actual date of remembrance has varied over time; the VA has record of past days of observance on April 25th, May 5th, and May 30th. Since the 1970s, Memorial Day has been observed on the last day in May. Furthermore, since the year 2000, U.S. citizens have been asked to pause for one minute of silence at 3 p.m. on Memorial Day, to commemorate all who died as they served the United States; this minute of silence is called the National Moment of Remembrance.

Look for the history of Memorial Day tomorrow.

TO REALIZE

To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month
Ask a mother
Who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member
LOSE ONE.

EMBROIDERY

I used to embroider and when I was a young bride, as a Valentine's Day surprise, I embroidered hearts and peace symbols (hey, it was the 70s!) on a pair of my husband's briefs. Being a good sport, he wore them. When I was doing the laundry, I noticed smudges at the top of the underwear. Usually, there were smudges at the fly of his underwear. Working on the assembly line, he was lucky to have enough time to pee, let alone wash his hands before going to the bathroom (at least that's what he told me!).

I asked him what had happened and he said, "Didn't you notice you sewed the fly closed?" He continued, "I had to take down my PANTIES every time I had to pee!" He never wore the briefs again, but they are in the corner of his dresser drawer after 38 years!

WHERE DO YOU PUT YOUR PURSE?

My great-niece Aron has posted this question on Facebook: "WHEN YOU COME HOME, WHERE DO YOU PUT YOUR PURSE?"

When I come home, I put my purse in the shoe basket by the door. I seldom carry a purse as I put my debit card/credit card in "the safe"--my bra--I sometimes take my wallet with me in restaurants to be able to have money for tips--but my bra will only hold so much!

I cannot tolerate women setting their purses on my kitchen and dining room tables or on my counters. When it occurs, I diplomatically pick up the purse and place it somewhere else where we do not eat or prepare food. One time a woman picked up her purse and put it back on the table. Obviously, diplomacy went out the window! I told her of the dangers and especially since I had a tablecloth on the table and not just bare wood that it was doubly dangerous of contamination.

I throw my purse in the back floorboard of my car. I see women set their purses in shopping carts and on the floors in restaurants and I've also noticed women setting purses on the floors in public restrooms.

Dr. Oz recently had several audience members bring their purses to be swabbed and the women were shocked to learn of the hazardous organisms present on their purses. Dr. Oz asked them where their purses had been setting that day. One told how she had set her purse down on the floor in a public restroom. That purse had evidence of feces on the bottom of the purse; you can imagine the staph and other organisms on that purse! I do not want THAT purse or any others on my tables! Of course Dr. Oz warned them of having their purses on surfaces where food is prepared or eaten.

MEETING JOHN RAITT

In 1969, I saw John Raitt perform in "Camelot" at the Kenley Players. "Camelot" was always my favorite Rodgers and Hammerstein musical and my brother Gary and his wife were supposed to take me to see it in 1962, but that did not happen. They were supposed to take me to see "Oklahoma!" in 1961 but that didn't happen either.

My mother loved John Raitt as did I. In 1992, I was thrilled when I saw the advertisement in our local newspaper that Raitt was scheduled to perform as part of the Fayette Area Community Concert Association. Although I had not purchased a season ticket, I was able to manage acquiring two tickets. The enthusiastic audience was mostly people older than myself. My mother and I thoroughly enjoyed the program as it was Raitt and a piano accompanist performing "And then I sang........" which was exactly what we wanted. He was incredibly handsome, physically fit and with a very strong voice for someone aged 75.

While waiting in line to have my tape and program autographed, another woman and I were discussing the different Kenley Players productions he had performed; I mentioned that I had also seen his daughter perform. She asked, "He has a daughter who performs?" I answered, "Yes, Bonnie Raitt; she's won a whole bunch of Grammys!" The woman said she had never heard of her. I answered that she was far more famous than her father. The woman answered, huffily, "Well, if I haven't heard of her, then I doubt that!"

As I have written before, my mother answered questions with song lyrics and would never allow a child of hers to be "put down". My mother, unlike her contemporary who had just upbraided me, also "kept up" with current music. Mother poked me and asked, "Should I start to sing "Something To Talk About"?" She and I both laughed and started singing! Others "shusshed" us into stopping singing--and into good behavior!

When we were finally in front of Mr. Raitt, I told him about seeing him in the Kenley Players. We chatted about the Kenley productions and he said that I must have been a baby then! I laughed and my mother said, "She's your daughter's age." I said, "My mother and I were just singing "Something To Talk About" while we were in line; we love Bonnie!" He answered, "I heard you!" I told him I saw the wedding photos where he was wearing a kilt and he beamed proudly, and asked, "I sure did a good job there, didn't I?" He was as charming offstage as he was onstage.

As Mother and I turned to leave, the "huffy lady" was next in line. As I left, I couldn't help myself, and I said, "Be sure to ask about his daughter!"

SPEEDING GRANDMA

"GRANDMA CLOCKED AT 102 MPH" was the headline on my MSN home page.


WHY is it that every time women of a certain age are arrested newspaper articles are always prefaced by "GRANDMA"? I have seen this over and over again in newspapers: women being identified as "grandmas". I have NEVER seen a similar headline about GRANDPAS!

What could being a grandmother have to do with her speeding? NOTHING. She's 72 years old and she was late for a hair appointment. Would there have been a feature if it had been a 72-year-old grandfather? OF COURSE NOT!

Who cares if offenders are grandmothers? Does it make the offense worse because they are grandmothers?

It's a good thing I'm not a grandmother or my latest traffic offense might have been front-page news!

THREE STAGES OF A WOMAN'S LIFE

In "feminist" writing, it was a sad commentary that there were only three stages in a woman's life because women did not have their own identities as they were always dependent on a male for their own identities. The three stages are:

1. SOMEBODY'S DAUGHTER
2. SOMEBODY'S WIFE
3. SOMEBODY'S MOTHER

The saying didn't hit home, until one day, in talking to a teenager, she asked, in awe, "Wow, you mean that you're Neil Shirkey's AUNT?"

CLEVELAND

While visiting in Cleveland, we went to a nice Italian restaurant and it was a busy Saturday night. Gerald and I were shown to our table at a banquette. It was a perfect seating arrangement for me as I have the "gunfighter's syndrome"--I don't like my back to anybody when I'm seated--I could view the other patrons as they dined and my favorite avocation is watching people. In the rear left of us was a large table with eight people sitting. The waiter took our drink orders and I noticed that a couple across from us got up and carried their drinks with them to another section of the restaurant. Another couple was seated in the same spot prior to our drinks arriving.

At the large table, it was obvious that it was a family gathering and from the conversation, I was able to glean that the assemblage consisted of the parents (probably in their 70s) and their daughter and two sons with their respective spouses. The "pater familias" was loud, obnoxious, and domineering and an expert on every topic discussed. I could hear nearly all of the conversation. The older man, in a loud voice, said to one of the sons, "So you're telling me that you think things are better today than they were fifty years ago?" I could not hear the son's response. The older man went on expounding about the "good old days" and describing how awful things were now compared to "his day".

Before our appetizer came, the second couple who were seated across from us requested to be moved. I asked Gerald, "Do you think it's something I did?" Gerald laughed and said, "I don't think it's YOU, Sweetheart!"

A third couple was seated before our soups arrived. When the third couple heard the loud booming voice, the woman rolled her eyes and she and I gave each other commiserating looks.

With our entrees complete, the waiter asked if we would like dessert. We decined and when I rose from the table, my husband knew that I was NOT going to the powder room. I went to the large table and stood next to the "pater familias" and I leaned over and said in a low voice, "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation." The entire family leaned forward [it was like the old E. F. Hutton commercials!] as I continued, "I have the answer for the question you asked your son." The old guy was amazingly lower-voiced when he answered, "Which one?" I said, "About whether things are worse now than they were 50 years ago."

The patriarch laughed and asked, "So, whadda ya think?" I said, "Things are MUCH better now, because fifty years ago, where I live, the swimming pool was segregated, the roller rink was segregated, the Country Club was segregated, the movie theater was segregated, restaurants were segregated, and the churches and clubs were all segregated!'

The old guy harrumphed and said, "Well, that's YOUR opinion." I said, "Oh, no, it's NOT an opinion, sir, it's a FACT!" I turned away before he had a chance to respond! As we walked away a couple stopped us and said, "Thank you for shutting up that old windbag!" I said, "I'm afraid if his wife hasn't accomplished it by now that nobody ever will!"

What I hated most of all was that I could tell the ethnic background of the group from their conversation and they were living up to god-awful stereotypes!

PATTY'S P-U-YUK FILE

For years my friend Patty has maintained a "P-U-YUK FILE" for cliches, bad behavior, overused expressions, and just plain bad speech! Included in the file are some of the things which we dislike:

"AIR QUOTES" (My brothers Norman and Les especially HATE that!)

"SPIRITUAL BOWS" (unless, of course, you're the Dalai Lama!)

"I FEEL BADLY" instead of the correct "I feel bad" (Do they also say "I feel sadly" or "I feel madly"? Do they have problems with the digits of their hands working correectly? Do they think "badly" sounds better than "bad"?)

"IT DON'T" instead of "it doesn't"; just yesterday, during a meeting, a college-educated (well, a college graduate; obviously NOT educated)associate of mine committed this egregious gaffe TWICE. I was surprised she didn't see my very visible CRINGING.

Using the word "PENULTIMATE" incorrectly. Penultimate (which means NEXT TO THE LAST)is incorrectly used to mean the greatest or the best!)

"FORTE" (it is correctly pronounced FORT instead of "FOR TAY" when used in the phrase, "That's my forte." I told Patty about one of my factory guys correcting me about it!)Patty hates the fact we've been corrected on this one!

"HOI POLLOI" (I have recently heard two network commentators incorrectly use this term to mean a superior class when in fact it means the opposite!)

The use of the phrase "GOOD, BAD OR INDIFFERENT" (so which is it, folks?)

The use of the phrase "24/7"

The use of the term "BOTTOM LINE"

The use of the phrase "THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT!"

"YOU KNOW" (to which I answer, "No, I don't know!)

"AWESOME" (in a three-hour period on Monday, a young person of my acquaintance used the word 14 times! I think he's adjectivally deprived!) Last night I heard a middle-aged woman say it!

"THEY REALLY CAME TO PLAY" (sports commentators)

"LIKE" (young people using it as an adjective instead of a verb!)

"HE GOES, SHE GOES" (instead of he said or she said)

"IT IS WHAT IT IS" (of course it IS)

"WHATEVER!" (usually from teenage girls)

"IRREGARDLESS" (why do people feel compelled to add the extra IR?)

"I HEARD THAT!" (I'm always glad to know their auditory system is good!)

"STEP UP TO THE PLATE" (what game ARE they playing?)

"LEARN" (instead of teach)

"HAVE WENT" (I told Patty I would scream the next time I heard this and I did!)

"SUPPOSEBLY" (instead of supposedly)

"ME GOING" (instead of "my going"--Gerald says this is "picky")

AND my favorite: a recently nominated local political candidate who uses the word "IDEAL" when he should say IDEA! (It's truly amazing how many times that particular error arises in his conversation)

Come on, Patty, I know you have some new additions!

WHY, WHY, WHY?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?





Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?



Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check by touching when you say the paint is wet?





Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?





Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?









Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?







Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?


Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?




Why is there never a day that mattresses are not on sale?




Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?


Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?


Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?


Why is it that in winter we try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer when we complained about the heat?


Why do we never hear father-in-law jokes?


Why would the person who coined the word lisp put an "s" in it?


Why is it when we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart and then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"


Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK

--CLICK THE ARROW AND LISTEN AS YOU READ--



As a teenager, I was singing along with the latest hit single, "My Boyfriend's Back"; my little niece asked, "Why is she singing about HER boyfriend's BACK? Who wants to hear about somebody's back?"

There's a website devoted to "misheard lyrics": www.kissthisguy.com

The title of the website comes from the most famous "misheard lyric": a person who thought Jimi Hendryx sang: "excuse me while I kiss this guy" instead of: "Excuse me while I curse the sky";

Here are some other examples:

"BAD MOON ON THE RISE": a person thought Fogerty sang "there's a bathroom on the right" instead of "there's a bad moon on the rise".

"BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY": someone thought the lyric was "scallaboosh, scallaboosh, will you do the banned tango?" instead of Queen's real lyric: "Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?"

"AFRICA": Someone misheard: "I left my brains down in Africa" instaead of the Toto's true lyric: "I bless the rains down in Africa"

"DESPERADO": Someone misconstrued: "You've been outright offensive for so long now" instead of the Eagles' real lyric: "You've been out riding fences for so long now."

"SO GOOD": The person heard: "So good, so good, I got in here" instead of what James Brown sang: "So good, so good, I got you."


Any additions?

BAPTISM

When my sister-in-law Betty was scheduled for open-heart surgery, she promised my brother Neil (her brother-in-law) that if she made it through the operation that she would be baptized in his church.

After a few months of recovery, she was scheduled for the baptism one Sunday morning.

I had never witnessed a baptism. My husband and I, my brother Kenny, their son Allen and his wife Sally were in attendance. My brother Neil was standing at the altar and as the drapes were opened, there was Betty, in a swimsuit, in a hot tub. Neil stuck a microphone at her face and asked for her "testimony". I could see that she was surprised by the request and her lip was quivering and her voice was quavering as she related her testimony. I was very moved by her testimony and I was choked up and had tears in my eyes. Gerald was dabbing at his eyes, but he gallantly handed over his handkerchief to me. The pastor immersed her in the water and when the ceremony was completed the drapes were drawn closed.

After the baptism, we couldn't just get up and leave the church because we had to wait for Betty as we all planned to have lunch together. The minister began the service. After awhile, we heard a woman in the aisle making unusual noises. Allen grabbed my thigh and asked, in a low voice, "WHAT is that?" I answered, "She's speaking in tongues". Allen said, "If they bring in snakes, I'm outta here!" Later, I could feel that people were close behind me and as I turned around slightly to see, people were on their feet with their eyes closed, swaying, and with their arms outstretched and reaching forward. Allen asked, "What are they reaching for?" I said, "I don't know!" They had orgasmic looks on their faces.

After drying off and getting dressed, Betty joined us in the pew. After the service a woman whom I knew came up and said excitedly, "Oh, Sue, I could tell how Jesus moved you today." I said, "Well, actually it was Betty who moved me!"

GERALD'S PERFECT ROSE

I'm so happy--so many flowers blooming in the yard--which means, so many bouquets in the house! Irises, allium, peonies, spirea, honeysuckle, mock orange, butterfly bush AND roses are all blooming today! I have bouquets in every room including the hallway, bathroom, and laundry room! Irises in a hand-painted vase with irises on it; little pink roses in a vase with roses on it; mock orange adorning my lovely Fiesta pitcher on the kitchen table!

Gerald came in from outside and excitedly said, "You should see the Queen Elizabeth!" I went out immediately and picked the rose and placed the PERFECT flower in the PERFECT Waterford vase (I think the HIGHEST honor!); he just doesn't understand why I want to pick ALL of the flowers.

I made an arrangement using pink and magenta peonies. I put them in the silver champagne bucket in what I thought was an "elegant" display. His reaction, "Did you pick all of them?" But, bless him, he took pictures for me!

DROLINGS

I was at a yard sale and a little boy had a sign posted on the garage door:

LEMONADE 25 cents

DROLINGS 25 cents

I asked him what "drolings" were and he showed me some of his artwork. I asked where he went to school and he told me Belle Aire; I asked him what grade he was in and he said the third grade.

I asked, "May I buy the sign?" He seemed surprised but he took it down and I crossed out DROLINGS and wrote DRAWINGS. I gave it back to him with a quarter. He asked, "Aren't you going to take it?" I told him that I voted for all school bond issues and that was just another contribution from me for education.

His grandmother, who was having the yard sale, commented, "They don't teach them nothin' at school."

I left, very depressed, with the state of education, but then I recalled that Andrew Wyeth had little formal schooling and he did very well.

SPANISH FLY

My mother was an herbalist. I always tell that she made a potion and that's how I trapped my husband! He says he thinks it's true but I know it isn't!

When I was a teenager she would oftentimes send me to the Downtown Drug Store to pick up items she needed for her potions. One time she needed "Tincture of Cantherides"; as I didn't know how to pronounce it I wrote it down and handed the slip of paper to the druggist. He asked me what I needed it for and I said that my mother was making a potion for a "Sure Cure For Dandruff". He asked if I knew what it was and I said that I didn't.

He told me that only veternarians were allowed to purchase it. He said, "When you go home tell your mother that it is Spanish Fly; she'll know what it is." When I went home I told my mother and she looked very embarrassed but she had to tell me about it.

I was sixteen years old and I learned about aphrodisiacs!

MUHAMMAD ALI

February 25, 1964: the Sonny Liston-Cassius Clay fight. This was in the days before Pay-For-View and televised championship fights. The radio reception was terrible at our house so Duke, Les, and I jumped in brother Norman's car and rode around in the car listening to the fight. Norman, Duke, Les, and I LOVED Cassius Clay, but my brother Gary couldn't stand him! I had bet Gary $20.00 that Cassius would win; he ridiculed me by saying he didn't want to steal my money. When Cassius won, Gary was a poor sport and refused to pay me by saying it really wasn't a bet! I guess he didn't like the 7-1 odds! The next day, Cassius became Muhammad Ali and I supported him 100% in his decision, much to Gary's chagrin. I had been a fan of Cassius Marcellus Clay since he won the 1960 Olympics as a light-heavyweight.

In my life, I've probably had 100 fights about Muhammad Ali!

In 1973, my job was threatened simply because I defended Muhammad Ali. One night, at lunchtime, a bunch of the guys were in a discussion about Ali and there was just one guy, Buddy, defending Muhammad and I also spoke up to defend him. Knowing that most of the men were chauvinists, I should have known to keep my mouth shut, but Hell, I grew up with seven brothers, so why would I let a bunch of guys who weren't EQUAL to my brothers intimidate me? One guy, Howard, became so incensed that the veins were bulging from his forehead and neck as he screamed at me! Howard already disliked me, because I had been hired and his son had not been hired, and also because I had NEVER turned down any overtime; he told me that I was "greedy". [It's always been a strange--but true--psychological fact that people who don't want to work overtime still resent those who are willing to work it!] Howard once told me that I shouldn't even be working there, because my husband had a "good job"; I told him that it wasn't "good enough" for me!

At that time, I did not have my "probationary period" in with the Company and Buddy told me that two of the other guys had gone to the General Foreman and told him that he should "get rid" of me, because I was a "troublemaker". Thank goodness Buddy told me as it enabled me to prepare myself. Later that evening, the General Foreman called me into his office and told me that he'd had a complaint about me. I responded like a naif and asked, "How could someone complain about my work; I ALWAYS make production?" I knew that ploy would force him to compliment MY work. He said that my work was great, but that I should keep my "political opinions" to myself. I asked if the guys were getting the same warning or if he'd spoken to Buddy. He told me that since I was a "probationary employee", he wasn't going to discuss it with me. I asked him if I could have opinions once my probation was served. He told me he didn't like my "smart mouth" to which I answered that I believed I was just employing LOGIC (even though he and I both knew I was being sarcastic). I also knew that I was in grave danger of losing my job at that moment, but I was young and idealistic and had never been one to back down if I were right! He then told me that the ONLY reason that he wasn't firing me right then was because I had set production records in the short amount of time I had been there, but that I "better watch" my "step"!

After the meeting, Buddy told me it took a "lotta guts" to speak up, but that I needed to be careful because several of the guys were out to get me; I had five days remaining before my 90-day probationary period was up and I would be "in the Union". On the 90th day, Howard came up to me and said, "You'll be gone before the night's over." I answered, "And if I am gone, just think of all the money I've earned working YOUR overtime; I made a down payment on my house with all that money!" Of course, that wasn't true, but everyone knew that we had just purchased a house.

That night, the power went off and we were all sitting in the dark around our machines when the General Foreman came over and asked if I would work overtime if the power returned, because we needed to ship the order. Of course I worked the OT!

The next night, I was safely "in the Union"; the Steward handed me my union card at the beginning of the shift. Howard was the forklift driver for my area and he kept delaying taking away my units--which I knew was deliberate--which interfered with my production. I jumped on another forklift and moved the units from the conveyor and set them down on the floor adjacent to my machine to enable us to keep producing. I had also written on my production sheet about the downtime caused by the forklift driver. I resumed running my machine. Howard was furious and ran and got the Steward and he was standing by my fixture screaming that I didn't have a forklift license and then the Foreman came and told me to stop running my machine to "work this out". I told him that I could actually "walk and chew bubble gum at he same time" and that I could also work and talk at the same time! I said that I "couldn't stop" because I had to "catch up" because of the productivity loss that "the forklift driver" had caused. Howard heard the entire exchange, all of which further enraged him, because he couldn't keep me from producing!

The Foreman told me I wasn't allowed to use the forklift. I answered that I was SO sorry, but since I had a forklift license from my other job, I was "merely reacting to a SERIOUS SAFETY ISSUE"! I pointed to the Safety Slogan on the wall. Of course, Howard was hearing all of this and he asked, "WHAT safety issue?" I said to the Foreman that I was worried that my units would fall on the floor, because "the lift driver" wasn't moving them and I knew that our safety was more important than anything else! It also infuriated Howard that I would not address him, only the Foreman or the Steward, and that I wouldn't refer to him by name, only as "the lift driver". [I learned a FEW things about arguing growing up with a father and seven brothers! I'll admit that I was enjoying all this "trash talk" knowing full well it would only further antagonize Howard!]

Howard was screaming that I should be "written up"! I responded, "I'm sure the Contract FORBIDS anybody interfering with production; which do you think is worse--losing production--or operating a forklift?" I also mentioned that "the forklift driver" was causing more production loss by standing there screaming rather than doing his job. The Foreman ordered Howard to get on his forklift and "clean up the mess!" Howard was screaming, "Aren't you gonna write her up for using the forklift?" I yelled, "Hell no, Mr. Forklift Driver, I'm going to get a medal!" Howard was given disciplinary action which made him even angrier, but the Steward negotiated with the General Foreman that I would delete the reference about "interference with production" on my production sheet as I achieved my usual 100% productivity despite the downtime!

IRONY or FATE? Would I have lost my job if the power hadn't gone off and we needed to work overtime to be able to ship the product? I went on to become the first female Manufacturing Supervisor in the history of the Company! After I became a Supervisor, I asked the General Foreman if he were going to fire me that night if the power hadn't gone off and he said, "Of course not, you had the best production in the department!" Of course, when I became a supervisor, Howard transferred to another department. I left that Company in 1978, and in 1986, Howard called me and asked if I would help his son get a job at Rockwell! Now that's CHUTZPAH!

RECYCLED GIFTS

One of my relatives is known to recycle gifts. Her only problem is that she forgets the "who, what, where, and when" of gifts! She actually gave me a gift I'd given to her! At her wedding shower, I had given her a sexy black negligee as one of her gifts.

Two years later, on my birtday, I opened my present and it was the same, lovely black negligee I'd given to her. It was even in the same Lazarus box! My husband jumped up, ran over and hugged and kissed her, exclaiming, "Maybe she'll quit wearing that flannel nightgown!" I haven't worn a flannel nightgown since.

I never mentioned the recycling since my husband appreciated the gift so much!

HEALTHY!

My husband would often take my four-year-old nephew with him on little excursions; one time he took him with him to pick up pizza. When they returned, my nephew ran in the house and yelled, "Aunt Sue, Aunt Sue, Uncle Gerald was looking at girls!" I said, "He's allowed to look; he's just not allowed to touch!" My nephew responded, "Daddy's not even allowed to look!"

The next week, when my nephew was riding in the car with his mother, he saw a buxom young woman and he said "Healthy!" His mother asked where he'd heard that and he said, "That's what Uncle Gerald says when he sees girls like that!" After that, Uncle Gerald decided to watch his language and his leers!

LAY HER IN THE SHADE

Nearly every time I have danced with my husband, I have caused him some kind of physical injury. He is a good dancer and I am a klutz! One time as we were square dancing, as we did the allemande left, I was laughing at my ineptitude and I bit his cheek as he swooped around. I've stepped on his feet so many times we quit counting. One time I was wearing heels, and one of the heels broke off as I stepped on his foot! I identify with Elaine on "Seinfeld" (only she doesn't realize how bad she is!).

When we have a party, Gerald does the ONE obligatory dance with me and then he does his "WIDOW DUTY"--he dances with all the women who don't have partners--then he dances with the women whose partners don't want to dance--and then he line dances with his nieces.

At Gerald's nephew's wedding reception, a young woman who had seen him dancing, came over and asked him to dance. She told him that he "sure could move for an old guy"! As my Granny Cox used to say, he proceeded to "lay her in the shade"! [To hear her tell it, my grandmother could outdo everybody on everything and she would always say that she "laid 'em in the shade!"] Of course, it took him the entire next day to recuperate, but the girl got the jitterbug of her life!

HOLE IN THE WALL GANG

My friend Jennie and I were having lunch at Horney's Barbecue today and a group of motorcyclists came in. These were definitely NOT Hell's Angels types and they were wearing tee-shirts with "The Hole in The Wall Gang, Cincinnati, Oh" written on them.

As more of them filed into the restaurant, I asked, "Which one of you guys is Butch Cassidy?"

There wasn't a chuckle, a grin or even a murmur. However, not knowing WHEN to stop has always been one of my downfalls, so I launched further by saying, "Maybe the Sundance Kid is here!"

I thought that I was being rather amusing and then I thought that maybe they didn't get the reference. I continued, "Don't any of you know the movie?"

One of the guys turned around and said, "Of course we do, and we're members of the group that Paul Newman started to help kids, but I don't appreciate you making fun." Feeling upbraided, I answered, "Well, I WASN'T making fun, but if you go around with stuff written on your tee-shirts, don't you expect people to comment?" He said, "Well it sounded like you were making fun!" I answered, "And silly me, I thought you would appreciate someone's knowing the background of the Hole In The Wall Gang!"

I know when I wear my political buttons and clothing, I EXPECT comments--why else would I be wearing them? I pointed to the political button I was wearing and said, "I WANT people to ask me about this guy!"

As I got up to leave, there's a sign at the doorway which invites one to ring the bell if the service were good. I rang the bell and said to the Hole In The Wall Gang from Cincinnati, Oh, "I could have mentioned Kid Currie and Black Bart instead of Butch and Sundance!"

In the parking lot, Jennie and I looked at the motorcycles and all of them were Hondas except for one Harley-Davidson cycle! I said to Jennie, "Well, I guess that's what one should expect from Honda riders!"

MEETING CONNIE SCHULTZ

Our Senator Sherrod Brown is married to Connie Schultz, the Pulitzer Prize winning columnist for the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

When Sherrod was running for the U.S. Senate, we went to several of his rallies. I had admired the Senator's wife and each time I would take her book "Life Happens and other unavoidable truths" with me, hoping to have it autographed.

At a rally in Dayton, Connie was with him. I held my book over my head and one of the aides came into the crowd and escorted me to the stage. Connie autographed the book and she said, "Stay here and I'll introduce you to Sherrod." I told her that I had actually come to meet her. When she introduced me to Sherrod, she told him that and he said, "I get that a lot!"

After the campaign, she brought out another book titled "...and His Lovely Wife". Its subtitle is "A Memoir from the Woman Beside the Man On love, marriage, and life on the campaign trail" The title stemmed from the fact that they were constantly introduced as "Sherrod Brown and his lovely wife". Connie was scheduled to be the guest speaker at the John Glenn School Of Public Affairs Annual Barbara K. Fergus Women In Leadership Lecture at the Ohio State University. I took BOTH books with me! On the new book Connie inscribed, "From Lucille Clefton: What they call you is one thing; what you answer is something else." She had quoted that line in her speech and I asked her to write it in the book.

When I put the other book in front of her she saw the old inscription and she wrote: "YOU AGAIN!"

SHE FOUNDED MOTHER'S DAY

1858

IN THE BEGINNING

A hundred years ago, West Virginia became the first state in the union to proclaim Mother's Day an official holiday. Anna Jarvis founded Mother's Day to honor her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, who died on the second Sunday in May, 1905, then spent the rest of her life fighting the holiday's commercial and political exploitation. She died alone in an asylum. Her story, and the modern day story of Mother's Day, began, of course, with her own mother.

In 1858, Ann Reeves Jarvis organized Mother's Day Work Clubs in West Virginia to improve sanitary conditions and stem her community's appalling infant mortality rates. In her lifetime, Jarvis had 13 children but saw only 4 of them live to adulthood, one of whom was Anna Jarvis.

In 1910, the governor of West Virginia made Mother's Day an official holiday on the second Sunday in May.

In 1912, Anna Jarvis created the Mother's Day International Association, because she wanted Mother's Day to be an acknowledgement of all the things mothers do for their families.

In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson made Mother's Day a national holiday. In 1915, it became an official holiday in Canada.

In 1944, at the age of 80, Anna Jarvis was placed in a mental asylum. She died in 1948, penniless and never had any children.

VIVIAN

We were having a "folding party" at our house--a group get-together to fold, address, and stamp flyers--to mail for one of our political events. As I was walking to the door with one participant, my friend Vivian had already gone out the door and I saw her on the street, in an animated conversation with a neighbor of ours who was sitting on his golf cart.

Their conversation was lengthy and I saw Vivian wagging her finger at him on occasion. My other friend and I wondered what the conversation was about, but did not want to intrude. After Vivian left, my curiosity got the better of me (OK, I'm just nosy, but how I love euphemisms!) and I called her later to ask what the "tete-a-tete" was all about.

Vivian laughed and said, "He asked me why we didn't join the Country Club as he had heard we played golf and heard that my son was a good golfer." Knowing her feelings and my feelings about the history of the Club I asked, "WHAT did you say?"

She said, "I told him that they didn't want us in the 60's and that they didn't want us in the 70's and that they didn't want us in the 80's and that they didn't want us in the 90's, so why would I want to be a part of them NOW!"

I asked, "WHAT could he say?" She laughed and said, "He actually told me how cheap the memberships are now!" I asked what she had answered and she said, "I told him that where we played the only color that mattered was GREEN!" I screamed with delight, "Oh, Viv, you know how I love puns: green for money and green for golf!" Sometimes a person does have the perfect rejoinder! PERFECT rejoinder, Viv!

MEETING RICHIE HAVENS

My husband and I are fans of Richie Havens; I since 1966 and Gerald since 1968. We have seen him in concert 20 times. He has never failed to deliver a marvelous performance. We first saw him in 1969; however, in the intervening years, he has gone from performing in arenas and stadiums to small venues. We were never able to talk to him until two years ago.

In 1969, there was a virtually unknown performer as Richie's opening act: Bruce Springsteen was the opening act FOR Richie! I can remember Gerald leaning over and saying, "Boy, that guy's GOOD!" We became immediate Springsteen fans. Bruce, the opening act, received a standing ovation.

Two years ago, Richie's website showed that he would be playing at a night club in Cleveland. In my mind, I guess I was thinking that the "night club" would be similar to the Copacabana. I insisted that we would have to "get really dressed up" for the event! I made reservations for "ringside seats". We drove to Cleveland and checked into our motel. When we told the clerk why we were in town, he said that Richie was staying there also. The clerk said, "If you don't get to meet him at the club, I'll be sure to introduce you; he stays here whenever he's in town!"

When we arrived at the venue, there was no valet parking. We walked in and there were tables covered with oil cloth (and with rings from glasses and cigarette burns on the oil cloth!) and guys sitting at the bar wearing flannel shirts and jeans. Of course, I was expecting a grand stage show but this wasn't exactly the Copa! The word "dive" crossed my mind and if my feet hadn't hurt so bad from those high heels I was wearing, I wouldn't have sat down at a table in the bar!

Gerald went to the bar and asked where Richie was going to perform and the bartender gestured toward an area to the rear of the bar. We went in and found our reserved table. There were just eight tables around the stage and the rest of the area seating was just rows of folding chairs.

Did I mention we were overdressed? The dress code was obviously "early hippie"! The crowd was amazingly diverse in age; there were a number of young people as well as people of our age group. The audience was very enthusiastic.

Richie put on a wonderful performance combining both old and new material; practically all old songs received standing ovations.

I was disappointed, however, that he did not perform my favorite song, Bob Dylan's "Just Like A Woman".

I had said to Gerald that we might be able to get his autograph after all these years. I had brought my copy of Richie's autobiography and Gerald bought the new CD. When we got to the front of the line, Richie said, "So you're the ONE who bought my book!" I told him that several people in line had asked about it and he should have them on sale there also, along with the CDs.

I mentioned that he hadn't sung my favorite song. He asked which one and he said I should have yelled out a request! I leaned over and whispered a secret in his ear. He looked at Gerald and asked, "Are you the one?" Gerald knew exactly what secret I had shared with Richie!

Gerald said, "Yes, I'm guilty!" Richie inscribed the book, "To Sue Just like a woman A friend forever Richie Havens". Richie and I started singing the song TOGETHER! That made my day, my week, my month, my year, my decade: singing "Just Like A Woman" with Richie Havens!

Last year for my birthday, we went to see Richie at Cain Park in Cleveland Heights; he was appearing with Arlo Guthrie. Again, there was a wide diversity of age groups, which continues to surprise me, but I have seen the same age assortment at Dylan's concerts also.

There was an intermission between Richie's portion of the concert and Arlo's portion and Richie had graciously consented to autograph CDs during the intermission. Gerald bought Richie's new CD to be autographed. I have no shame--I took the autobiography and he autographed it again--I also took 13 CDs to be autographed! [I had put away all of Richie's records and since Norman gave me a car CD player for for my birthday, I had to replace the albums with CDs!] I know the people behind me in line HATED me for taking up so much of Richie's time, but I know that I'm his number one fan, so I risked their umbrage!

Arlo started to perform and the people behind me were restless as they also wanted to enjoy Arlo's concert, but there I was, hogging Richie's time! Gerald, ever the gentleman, suggested that we move aside to allow others behind us to have their autographs. We went to the back of the line.

When we came back, Richie was charming and accommodating and he asked us to sit with him and we watched the first half of Arlo's performance together. When Richie was ready to leave, he hugged me and told me he'd see me the next time! It's marvelous when a person one has admired doesn't disappoint when one meets him in person!

GET YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW

We were having a serious meeting (in manufacturing parlance: "A Come to Jesus" meeting) and all of the management team was seated around a large, oval conference table. We all knew we were there to be "chewed out". The Plant Manager was livid and he said, "I've told you guys to get your ducks in a row." Of course, I'd heard that phrase before but then he continued with "or you'll have your penises on the table!" [Let's be frank--he didn't use the word penis!]

I was the only woman in the management team. I sat motionless, staring straight ahead, but I could feel the heat rising on my chest and neck and I knew my face was turning red and then I realized that all the men were looking at me for my reaction. The Plant Manager also noticed the averted eyes and he said, "All except you, Sue; you're not anatomically equipped!"

When I went home I asked my husband if he'd ever heard that statement used about the ducks and the organs on table and he said, "No, but it sounds pretty serious!"

Over the intervening years I have used the phrase, "I'm not anatomically equipped." whenever the subject of urinating contests would occur!

N.I.N.A.

My husband likes to razz me about my Irish heritage. One time, as I was preparing for a third and final interview, I realized that I needed to prepare some items to take with me. As my husband is much more proficient at typing on the computer, he generously volunteered to help me prepare my portfolio.

The following day as I was waiting nervously in the prospective employer's outer office, I opened my portfolio and noticed a Post-It note with "N.I.N.A." printed on it. I immediately recognized my husband's wicked humor. My husband knew how nervous I was about the final interview and he knew that the humor would relax me.

In the days of massive immigration to the United States by the Irish in the 1840's, many businesses posted signs with N.I.N.A. written on them meaning NO IRISH NEED APPLY.

I began giggling just as a man approached me and said, "Hi, I'm Bill Riley, it sure is nice to see a happy applicant." Recognizing his Irish surname, I told him the reason for my giggling. After the interview, Mr. Riley said, "Tell your husband he's wrong--you got the job!" When I got home I asked my husband, "What if I hadn't opened the folder?"

COME ONE COME ALL

If you love a good yard sale (outdoors) or rummage sale (indoors), then come one - come all to the ANGELS AWAITING rummage sale this Saturday at the Rose Avenue Community Center (formerly Rose Avenue School) on Rose Avenue and take advantage of the many bargains and variety of items available for sale. This sale is the first fundraiser for this newly formed nonprofit organization.

The ANGELS AWAITING MATERNITY HOME will soon be located in Washington Court House. It will be a maternity home offering shelter to homeless, pregnant women to reside and to deliver their babies in a safe, caring, and nurturing environment. It will offer training in everyday living, child care, peer counseling, direction to available resources, help and encouragement for continuing education.

The Home will offer spiritual guidance (if requested), adoption options (if requested), and charge a nominal fee, on a sliding scale, based on income. They will offer residency for a period of up to three months after delivering, but not to exceed twelve months.

If you cannot attend the rummage sale, any and all donations are welcome, and being an Ohio nonprofit corporation, donations are tax deductible. The ANGELS AWAITING MATERNITY HOME has been established "In Loving Memory of Dr. Frank X. Klamet." Please give them your support and/or donations. Many volunteer positions are available.

Hope to see you at the SALE!

GERALD AND SCOTT'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE

Gerald's niece Robin's husband Scott looked so much like Gerald that people always assumed that Scott was his nephew!

Gerald and Scott flew to Phoenix, Arizona, to pick up a car from Scott's parents and they drove back to Ohio with it. As Gerald hates to fly, this was a true labor of love.

When Gerald returned, I asked how the trip had been and he said it was fine EXCEPT that Scott had the radio tuned to Country and Western stations the entire trip. I said, "That's strange--Scott can't STAND Country and Western music; he likes jazz and rock 'n' roll!"

That same day I spoke to Robin and I asked how Scott had enjoyed the trip and she said, "Aunt Sue, it's the funniest thing; Scott said they had to listen to Country and Western music all the way home, but I told him that Uncle Gerald hated country music!"

Robin and I both agreed that if it had been us two women taking the trip, one would've asked the other if she minded changing the station! To quote the Bill and Ted movie: "EXCELLENT!"

RIP, Scott Dellman.
July 6,1958--March 25,2004
Our beloved Scott was taken much too soon!

GREEN BANANAS

I know you've all heard about green bananas and older people saying they won't buy green bananas, because they might not live long enough to have them ripen.

Recently, bananas were on sale at Kroger for 29 cents a pound. I wanted to take advantage of such a great sale and thought I would make fruit salad, banana bread, and banana cream pie, but of course, I was worried about the bananas ripening. I had bought Green Bags which were supposed to help.

At the store, I had put a nice yellow hand of bananas, along with a nice green hand of bananas, in my cart and as I was searching for a medium hand, I heard an older gentleman say to his wife, "Get the yellow bunch, you know I'm too old to get green bananas!" Even though I'd heard that remark many times before, I laughed out loud and told him I'd be using that line soon.

The young man who was weighing produce looked at the three of us quizzically, but kept on weighing bananas. After the older couple left, he began weighing my bananas and he said, "That man comes in here a lot and I think he's making jokes, but I don't get them; can you tell me what that was all about?" I told him that the line was funny because he meant he might not be around long enough to see green bananas turn to yellow. I could tell he wasn't very amused and I sighed and said, "Shaw was right--youth is wasted on the young! He asked, "Is that old humor too?"

LITTLE PITCHERS HAVE BIG EARS

We were eating at a nice restaurant with family members and as my husband picked up the bill to pay, he placed a 20% tip on the table. At the time, my grand-nephew was about ten years old and he spoke up and said, "Uncle Gerald tips too much." I remained calm and said, sweetly, with not a trace of sarcasm, "I didn't know that you had studied percentages in school already." He asked, "What do you mean?" I replied, "Well, to know how much tip to leave you'd have to know how much the bill is and to be able to figure percentage." I could tell the discomfort level by the others at the table, as it was obvious that a child who had no idea of the total of the bill or how to figure percentages, had heard that Gerald tipped too much spoken by someone else in his family.

"Little pitchers have big ears", my mother always said. I handed the bill to the child and said, "How much tip do you think it should be for this amount?" He shrugged and said he didn't know. In his Christmas stocking that year, I put a "tip card". He's grown up now; I hope he uses the tip card.

A couple of defining moments in my husband's life:

Gerald was a bellhop at the Hotel Washington and this was before Route 71 was constructed; people traveling from Cincinnati to Columbus would pass through Washington Court House. One evening, Cab Calloway stayed overnight and Gerald carried his bags to his room. Cab Calloway gave him a $5.00 tip!

Gerald was a caddy at the Washington Country Club and the customary tip was $2.00--two $1.00 bills folded together--when Gerald went home and counted his tips, there was a $1.00 bill and under it was a $10.00 bill. He didn't know which person had given him that tip. My husband is a regular Abe Lincoln--he called all the ones for whom he had caddied to tell one that he thought there was a mistake, but when he spoke to Dr. Griffeth, he received this answer, "No mistake, son, I won the tournament!"

Those are the kind of men my husband emulates!

ABSTRACT ART

I was at the post office yesterday. I asked if there were any new stamps available. Linda held up the Movie Cowboys and seeing Roy Rogers, I had to begin "Happy Trails," didn't I? There were two other women there with Linda and me and they started singing along with me!


As my husband says, being in my family is like being in a Hollywood musical as we sing for no apparent reason. I was elated to have peope join in! The next example Linda showed was Naval heroes so I had to sing "Anchors Aweigh," didn't I?





The next sheet was purple pansies with Love written on them. I had to sing "Love is A Many Splendored Thing," didn't I?




Linda held up the last sheet and said, "I don't know what this is." I looked at the sheet and asked, "Isn't that Jackson Pollock?" Linda said she didn't know who Jackson Pollock was. I told her he was an American abstract artist. Linda asked, "THAT's art?"

MAJOR BLAIR

Two of my brothers and I were in the watch-selling business some years ago. I had been to a yard sale and a guy offered to sell 100 watches for $5.00 each; I told my brothers about it and we bought 100 watches and each one of us took 33 watches to sell with one left over which I wore as a demo; the man from whom we bought the watches had been selling them for $10.00 each and he suggested we do the same. As I was in management, I could not sell my share at work, but I was able to sell them to friends; however, I thought doubling the price was unfair, so I sold mine for $7.00 each. My brother Neil took his share to work where he promptly sold his for $20.00 each. Norman took his share to work and as he was unable to leave his work area to "hawk" the merchandise, he had a buddy sell his share and gave him $1.00 commission on each watch he sold. At Norman's work, there was a guy named Major Blair [his actual name; he wasn't an officer in the service; he was just a guy from the South whose parents had inflicted him with that name!] and when he asked the price of the watches, Norman's buddy told him that the price was "$10.00 each or 2 for $25.00". Amazingly, Major Blair bought two watches at that price. Several days later he came to Norman and asked if he still had some of those watches and he bought two more at 2 for $25.00! [Did I fail to mention that Major Blair was gullible and "not the sharpest knife in the drawer"?]

We were greedy and we kept buying and selling watches for some time until someone mentioned to Neil that he had seen someone else selling the watches for $10.00 each, to which Neil replied, "I don't have $10.00 watches!" Our market soon "dried up" and we ended up with a bunch of unsold watches. Ironically, I ended up selling the remainder of mine at a yard sale for $5.00 each!

When I had the article "Sometimes You Just Can't Help People" on the blog, Norman reminded me of that "Major Blair" story to which I replied that every story similar to this will be honored by naming them "Major Blair Stories".

I was at Walmart and I usually buy the "economy refill size" of Spray 'n Wash. I noticed that the economy size was 60 ounces for $4.99 and the 32-ounce was $1.97 each. Always helpful, I mentioned to a woman beside me, "Isn't this something? 60 ounces for $4.99 and the regular size is $1.97." She replied, "I always buy the economy size." MAJOR BLAIR!