ABJECT FAILURE

Recently, I have noticed people using the word FAIL as a noun and an interjection, both on television and in person. Les asked, "Is it a NERB or a VOUN?"

Yesterday, a young acquaintance said, "That's a fail." I didn't feel as if I knew her well enough to ask, "WTH?"; besides, we were with a group of other people and I felt it would be declasse of me to inquire about her usage.

I particularly like the accompanying article from Slate, (CLICK HERE to read) because of the title Goodbye, schadenfreude; hello fail, because I, along with a number of my friends, LOVE the word schadenfreude. (CLICK HERE to see my BLOG article SCHADENFREUDE)

CLICK HERE to read and enjoy an article from The New York Times.

DRIVE TIME NEWS

On the morning news was a story of a car crashing into a house. Fortunately, there weren't any serious injuries as the family of the house was out to dinner and the driver was uninjured.

 When Les and I see those common news stories, one of us will invariably utter the punch line to an old joke:

A woman crashed her car into a house. The home owner asks, "How did you get in here?"

The driver said, "I took a left at the dining room!"

To see the article, CLICK HERE.

VETERANS DAY

Especially for my brothers and my husband.

HILLBILLY SUSHI

My most requested "signature dish" to supply to carry-in functions is ham rollups.  They are easy to make and keep well.  I prepared two separate trays for the Election Day meals (or as we call it "grazing").  

On election night the Sheriff and two deputies came to the Board of Elections as usual.  The first deputy saw the tray of ham rollups and said, "I've been waiting all day to get some of these!"  When the Sheriff and other deputy came in, their comments were similar.  

After nearly finishing consuming the tray of rollups, one said, "Yeah, we call these HILLBILLY SUSHI!"

HARDLY

Someone recently used the phrase "couldn't hardly" and it transported me back in time: I recall my teacher Miss Digman physically recoiling when a classmate said it.  I knew at the time that it was incorrect usage, and that I undoubtedly would never say or write it in my lifetime, but that vision of Miss Digman's reaction is indelibly etched in my brain and has kept me vigilant.

Adverbs such as hardly, rarely, scarcely, barely, and seldom should not be used in the same clause with a negative as it creates a double negative. Adverbs which suggest "few", "little" and "not often" should not be used with a negative.

A friend quizzed my using "were" instead of "was" in a sentence, "If that were the case....." Of course I know that "if" in that sentence requires the subjunctive mood and "were" is correct, but my friend said it sound "stilted"! Although pleased with her use of the word "stilted", I replied, "It sounds correct, as it were!" My brothers and I laugh and imitate our teacher Mr. Kelley when we use the subjunctive mood, as Mr. Kelley would often say "As it were."

I'm glad to have had some good teachers.

See the American Heritage Dictionary definition of "hardly" HERE. 

I LOVE HALLOWEEN!

This article is from last year's Halloween:

I love Halloween!  We hosted Halloween parties since 1971, but then politics became central and it was difficult to give my attention to both.  Each year, someone will mention the parties of the past and ask why we don't have them any more.  I keep saying that we will have a party at the "next off-year election" cycle with our last party in 2009.  There has been some kind of election in 2010, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 and now 2018.   Perhaps 2019!

From 1971 until 2008, Gerald and I would go all-out, dressing in costume, especially for Beggar's Night.  A friend who grew up in Indiana had never heard the term "Beggar's Night" prior to moving to Ohio.  

Some of our memorable costumes:  Hester Prynne and The Reverend Mr. Dimsdale; Mae West and W.C. Fields; The Coneheads; Scarlet O'Hara and Rhett Butler; Dorothy and The Cowardly Lion; Glinda and The Scarecrow; Nellie Forbush and Emile de Becque; Lt. Uhuru and Mr. Spock; and Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy (which was especially amusing with Gerald's red beard and triangle on his nose).

See picture at left, circa Halloween, 1980.  We also rode on a float for a parade in Jeffersonville in those costumes.  One year at the Halloween parade, Gerald drove the Corvette with the Cincinnati Reds Rooster riding atop the back, tossing out candy to the kids along the route.  Gerald and I were dressed as the King and Queen of Hearts, wearing large playing cards.

We decorated the house, garages, and yard with elaborate trappings.  We used a fog machine, black lights, accompanied by the sounds of screaming and creaking doors coming from a stereo, cranked up in volume.  We didn't give out simple treats;  we supplied marvelous bags filled with candy apples and caramel apples, big candy bars, popcorn balls, and a dollar in each bag, using the Susan B. Anthony coins.

Gerald and I would perform The Time Warp and The Monster Mash (which was very interesting when we were dressed as Puritans Prynne and Dimsdale).

One year a young couple came, carrying their baby and the young father told how he'd always come to our house because of the great treats and "the show";  he said he wanted to bring the baby for his first Beggar's Night and he asked if he could film us.  I held the baby as we all danced to The Monster Mash and the baby didn't even cry!

Another year Gerald would arise from a coffin to hand out the treats but he only did it one year as it was too scary.   Another year he was lying on the ground, among the "tombstones", covered with a pile of leaves, and he arose from that, scaring the wits out of everyone!

Each year the attendance dwindled in our neighborhood and I certainly understand the concern by parents about the craziness with razor blades and poisoned candies. I quit making popcorn balls and candy apples because parents wanted only packaged candy. I am glad that several local churches and organizations now put on "safe" events for children.  It was with a mixture of sadness--and relief--that we decided to disband our yearly spectacle but I still miss our extravaganza.  

I was in the basement recently and saw the tubs of decorations and laughed once more at the tombstones Gerald had crafted and which filled our side yard--the graveyard.  Probably the most famous:

HERE LIES LESTER MOORE

                                                      4 SLUGS FROM A 44
                                                      NO LES
                                                      NO MORE

Some of the tombstones have epitaphs and supposed "last words":

CURST BE HE WHO MOVES MY BONES (Shakespeare)


PARDON MY DUST (Dorothy Parker)


THE BEST IS YET TO COME (Sinatra)


HERE LIES JOHN YEAST
PARDON ME FOR NOT RISING


I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK! (several)

and

THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!  (Mel Blanc)