My brother Kenny said he used his bath towel all week long. He said, "You're clean after you take a bath, aren't you?" I asked, "But when is the moment in time when you decide that the towel is no longer clean? Why not use it FOREVER?"
Years ago I was talking to female employee and we were commiserating about all of the housework we had to do in addition to our regular work. I said, "Well, I have to do laundry every day" and she asked why and I said, "Well, there are three of us in the house so that's 3 towels, 3 washcloths, and 3 hand towels every day; there's almost a load right there." She asked, "Why do you wash the towels? You're clean after you take a shower." I asked her the same thing as I had my brother but she had no answer other than she was clean after bathing. Then she asked why we used hand towels. I asked, "What do you use to clean the sink and counter?" She said she used her washcloth. EWWWWW!
Being clean after bathing is everyone's rationale. After using a towel there are dead skin cells and other bacteria and a damp towel is a breeding ground for germs. Hanging a towel to dry in a humid bathroom is not a good idea.
After checking on Google at numerous sites, I find that I am in the minority. Here's the result of one survey:
People who use their bath towel once 47.0%
People who use their bath towel once or more every three days 24.8%
People who use their bath towel once or more a week 16.3%
People who use their bath towel once or more every two weeks 3.5%
People who use their bath towel once or more a month 1.7%
People who use their bath towel once or more every three months 0.5% .
People who use their bath towel once or more every six months 0.2%
People who use their bath towel once or more every year 0.6%
People who don't know 5.4%
How could they NOT know?
I was cranky! Hey, I'd gotten dressed for the day--no mean feat--right? and we were already "out and about" and we're old, and everyone knows old people don't like change!
We had to go home, sort through the trash, and then GO CLEAR ACROSS TOWN (and you already know I feel about that!) to the damned CVS store! Gerald went to the "Consultation" window. He was told that the blue card from Aetna covered ONLY him! Gerald said, "But she's on my coverage." Gerald had already handed our Aetna/Medicare cards to the intake clerk, along with the blue card! The clerk said, "She can go to her own doctor." I said, "That's absurd!" and pointed to the sign about Medicare covering the shots! She said she would check. She returned and said, "I need your Aetna card." I said, testily, "He already gave it to you." She returned and said, "Do you have your red, white, and blue Medicare card?" I handed that to her.
After 45 MINUTES, the clerk at the pick-up desk said, "Your prescription is ready." Gerald and I just sat there--obviously, I thought, she couldn't be talking to us--but we were the only ones sitting there. I turned, looking all around, in an exaggerated manner, and asked, in my best Robert de Niro impression, "Are you talking to ME?" Gerald had to sign the forms and she handed him the bags with the prescription forms and receipts and said, "It'll be a few minutes." I asked, "Do we stay here?" I assumed we would be escorted to a private area. The pharmacist came out--and I swear--right there, in front of God and everybody, she said to roll up our sleeves. Can you believe--getting a shot in PUBLIC? I know that it's unbelievable, but I was so stunned I didn't say a word. I was wearing a twin set; I pulled down one sleeve of the outer sweater and allowed the pharmacist to give me a shot! I later said, "Now I know how sheep feel!"
I left the store in a high dudgeon; when I went home I telephoned the corporate office ombudsman and lodged a complaint about the CVS pharmacist giving me a shot in public!
At least we received a 20% OFF SHOPPING PASS!
It disturbed me when I learned that Nancy and Ronnie were running our country based on their astrological readings, charts, and horoscopes!
I wondered if I were able to gather other people born on the same day of the month as my astrological sign if I would actually have anything in common with them?
EDGAR DEGAS? I am certain I share no traits with him because he was opposed to Dreyfus and I have no artistic ability!
LIZZIE BORDEN? To quote the Chad Mitchell Trio: "Oh, you can't chop your mother up in Massachusetts; Massachusetts is a far cry from New York!" Never wanted to chop up my parents!
SAMUEL COLT? Oh, I can't hit the broad side of a barn when I shoot. Besides, I like my GLOCK!
GEORGE DZUNDZA? I did enjoy him on Law And Order but I never did know how to pronounce his name.
CAMPBELL SCOTT? I really liked his mama Colleen Dewhurst and I enjoyed his portrayal of Robert Benchley in the movie Mrs. Parker And The Vicious Circle and his daddy George was really powerful as Patton, but I only watched Dying Young because Vincent D'Onfrio was featured.
ABEL FERRARA? I liked Bad Lieutenant but can't remember anything else he directed.
VIKKI CARR? I liked her version of It Must Be Him and Cuando Caliente Del Sol.
RACHEL ROBINSON? I'm a pretty good wife, but not that good! How about that 42?
FINALLY:
GEORGE MCGOVERN? Yes, I certainly have a lot in common with him! I still treasure my MILLION MEMBER CLUB card from the 1972 election. Senator McGovern's stated in his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention on July 14, 1972: "Let the opposition collect their $10 million in secret money from the privileged few and let us find one million ordinary Americans who will contribute $25 each to this campaign, a Million Member Club with members who will not expect special favors for themselves but a better land for us all."
As my membership card shows, I was recognized as "ONE IN A MILLION"!
Mona Lisa said I should start an ongoing BLOG feature called "WHENEVER". When I asked her why, she said, "Because you are always telling me, "Whenever....."
She gave me these examples:
Whenever I am asked "race" on a questionnaire, I always answer "HUMAN"!
Whenever I am speaking to a "Customer Service" person and I can tell that the person is from India/Pakistan, etc., I always ask, "How's the weather in Calcutta today?" Les said I should switch to "Mumbai"!
Whenever I'm alone and going into a restaurant and the hostess asks, "Just one?", I immediately look around stealthily, and ask, "Is there some rule that I can't be alone?"
Whenever a clerk at the store asks, "Did you find everything today?", I always answer, "No, do you mind waiting while I go back and get the other 10 things on my list?"
What did Cleopatra say to the snake? "Nobody likes a smart ASP." So, being a smart ASP gives me a little relief in my day from dumb-ASP people!!
Last week I heard a young mother tell someone that her child was "29 months old". I thought, "WTH?" I actually responded, "Since calculators, I can no longer do math in my head; how old IS that?" I figure if a kid is walking, he must be more than a year old!
When did this trend start? I know I've been hearing it for years. I Googled and found only one site addressing this momentous issue and some of the answers were:
1. They don't want the baby to sound younger.
2. They don't want the baby to sound older.
3. Because babies change so much.
4. Clothing sizes go to 24-months.
I believe in the TWELVE-MONTH RULE (see the below article from THE URBAN DICTIONARY).
Les just came by and saw what I was writing and said, "Hey, you're 842 months old!"
12 month rule
The 12 month rule is when parents have to stop saying how many months old their baby is after they reach 1 year old. Some parents say their baby is 34 months old. They make you do extra math when they could easily say 2 years and 10 months old.
Woman 1: "Aww how old is he?"
Woman 2: "26 months old"
Woman 1: "Don't say 26 months old it's breaking the 12 month rule."
So, how did I handle THAT diplomatically? I answered, "Oh, I have everything assigned except for the cranberries." I told her that I always palm off the cranberry dish to others. Then I related what I consider is my humorous history of what I call "the cranberry disasters". I am the only person in my family who likes cranberries--and I MUST have cranberries for Thanksgiving--right? For many years I would try a new cranberry recipe and my brothers called the resulting dishes "cranberry disasters" even if they weren't bad!
She brought a can of cranberry sauce! Les quipped, "At least it was top-shelf--Ocean Spray!"
She invited us to join them for Christmas dinner; I naturally asked what I could bring and she said that I make good salad. I made a spinach/strawberry/clementine/grape salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing, which I thought looked quite festive. She said, "Oh, I thought you would bring potato salad; yours is so good." [WHAT? For Christmas?] I was surprised to see deviled eggs and macaroni and cheese, along with mashed potatoes. She obviously thought those were good accompaniment with the ham. Afterwards, I said to Gerald, "They like to combine holidays with picnics."
We entertain with dinners quite often, but I haven't had Christmas dinner at our house since my mother died. Gerald and I have been going to a Chinese restaurant for Christmas dinner for several years. I really like Peking Duck!
