MENDING FENCES

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my husband.  The article below is from Sue's News, published in 2010. It is still my favorite story about my husband.

 

        MY FAVORITE STORY ABOUT MY HUSBAND

When we moved into our home in 1984, I was aware that our back-door neighbor was Bob Mace, one of our County Commissioners.

At the time, my husband still had his hippie long hair.  Shortly after we had moved in, Gerald was outside, tearing down a rotted fence.  He was dressed in shorts, muscle shirt, and flip-flops, with his hair tied in a pony tail. 

Gerald came in the house and told the following story:  Mr. Mace had leaned across the fence and asked him, "How much do they pay you for that kind of work?"  Gerald said that he answered, "Oh, they don't pay me anything, but the lady of the house lets me sleep with her."

I screaked, "Oh, no, tell me you didn't say that!  What did he say?  Do you think he believed you?"   I was incredulous and asked, "Why on earth did you say that?  You usually have good manners."   Gerald said, "I didn't give the old fart a chance to answer;  I thought he was condescending so I wanted to shock him!" 

The next evening, Mr. Mace and his wife came to the door, with a pan of apple strudel, and said they wanted to welcome us to the neighborhood.  I invited them to come in and visit.  Mr. Mace had obviously checked the voter registration roll as he said, "We just wanted to welcome some good Democrats to the neighborhood."

I told him that we had always voted for him.  He proceeded to ask where we worked, etc. When he asked about my "hubby", I said, "You actually met him yesterday;  let me tell him that you're here; he'll be glad to see you again!" Gerald was not aware that the Maces had come to welcome the "good Democrats" to the neighborhood

I went to the staircase and yelled for Gerald to come down.  Gerald came bounding down the stairs with his hippie hair bouncing freely.

Mr. Mace began to apologize to Gerald but Gerald stopped him mid-sentence by saying, "I've already told the story ten times and I'll probably tell it a hundred more!"  

Gerald also told him that the quote wasn't original but that Carl Rowan had said it to a neighbor who was quizzing him when he moved into an upscale neighborhood in Cleveland.

Gerald said, "If you're going to swipe something, make sure it's a good quote!"

Over the years, whenever I have told this story, I say that it was ALMOST worth the price of the house to see the priceless expression on Bob Mace's face when he saw the one who slept with the lady of the house.

'WHY NOT?"

R.I.P. ROBERT FRANCIS KENNEDY

"My brother need not be idealized or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life.  To be remembered as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, who saw suffering and tried to heal it, who saw war and tried to stop it.

Those of us who loved him and who take him to his rest today, pray that what he was to us and what he wished for others will some day come to pass for all the world.

As he said many times in many parts of this nation to those he touched and who sought to touch him:  some men see things as they are and ask "Why?";  I dream things that never were and ask "WHY NOT?"

THE MIND OF A RACIST

Chris Rock is quoted: "There's a new app that lets you know if your friends are racist--it's called Facebook."

I have said that the only good thing about the Trump ascendancy is the fact that the racists and bigots have come out of the woodwork.  I am shocked daily by the examples of  bigotry, racism, sexism, and homophobia I receive from people on Facebook.  In the past I would answer all of them, but now I just DELETE the comments.  Gerald says I should "UNFRIEND" them but I told him I want to see what they are really like and I quoted Oliver Wendell Holmes.:  "The mind of the bigot is like the pupil of the eye;  the more light you pour on it, the more it will contract."  However, I actually don't want them to contract;  I want them to be exposed.  One thing I think we can count on:  these bigots are so vainglorious that their being exposed does not matter, just as it doesn't seem to matter to Mr. Trump, and they will continue exposing themselves.

The following is an article I wrote in 2010 for Sue's News.  It is titled:

                     YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO

My employer was married to a woman whose mother was Japanese and there were several Asian women employed by the Company.

One day at work a sales representative came to give a demonstration of an "improved" version of a product which we used. Two of the women who were working at the equipment where the demonstration was conducted were Asian.  After the demonstration, as we were walking away, the sales representative made a repugnant remark about the sexual proclivities of Asian women. My boss saw that I was ready to respond and he motioned for me to leave. I walked away from the site greatly angered, not only because one of of my sisters-in-law is Korean, but also because of the women who worked for me who were Asian. I waited as I saw my boss bid him goodbye. My boss called me to his office and motioned for me to sit down. He calmly picked up the telephone and called the sales representative's superior and told him that we would not be ordering material from them ever again. I could tell from the conversation that the other person was asking for an explanation, but he gave no reason or explanation, just a simple cancellation of the contract.

I was shocked and asked why he hadn't told the man WHY we were declining the material. He answered, "I want that S.O.B. to keep making those kinds of mistakes and for him to explain to his boss WHY he lost the contract." I asked, "Did you tell the sales rep why?" He answered, "Yeah, I told the M-F'er that he was talking about MY daughter and that you never know who you're talking to!" I am sure that I would have told the sales rep's boss the reason, but perhaps my boss' actions were more effective.

However, "You never know who you're talking to" became a defining moment in my life because I knew that I, myself, had been guilty of untoward remarks.

BUD!

In a restaurant on Friday, I mentioned that I was glad we were there early and would miss the "Friday rush";  as we were having an enjoyable time visiting with our friends, I surveyed the surroundings and noticed that the majority of the patrons there were old. I laughed and said that we fit the stereotype of old people eating early.  

After we went to the salad bar, I heard our waiter tell people at another table, "Don't mean to rush ya guys, it's almost time for the rush."

Each time he came to our table, he addressed Gerald as "Bud" which I found rather disconcerting, but Gerald was amused so I didn't comment. I was still eating my soup and he started to take the soup bowl, which I had placed on my empty salad plate to make room because our entrees had arrived. I said, "Whoa, I'm not finished." He leaned across the table and asked our friend, "Can I get them dishes outta yer way?" I couldn't help myself; I pointed to Gerald's stacked dishes and said, "You can take THOSE dishes!"

Later the waiter asked, "Can I get you guys some dessert?" He was very efficient and solicitous, but I wish someone would tell him not to try to RUSH people and refer to people as "Bud" and "guys", but Gerald said, "At least he didn't call me Dude!"

Later, I asked, "So how much did you tip him, BUD?" Gerald said, "20%; I thought he was a good waiter." I answered, "Well, he wasn't going to get anything from this GUY!"

UNINTENTIONAL/INTENTIONAL RACISM

This Sue's News article is from 2011:

                                            INTENTIONAL/UNINTENTIONAL RACISM

Years ago I read an article about unintentional racism. An example given in the article was that in the Katrina aftermath, when Barbara Bush and the former President Bush toured the Astrodome, Mrs. Bush commented, "So many people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

The fact that those poor people had lost loved ones, homes, jobs, pets, and possessions seemed lost on Mrs. Bush.  The author of the article attributed her callous attitude to "unintentional racism" and concluded that she did not realize that her remarks were indeed racist, but just showed her to be out-of-touch and unsympathetic.   I wondered aloud, "I wonder how she would have felt if she'd lost everything and was transported hundreds of miles away to sleep on a cot with no privacy?"   Recalling her remarks about Geraldine Ferraro, I was not inclined to be as tolerant.

Bob, one of my colleagues at Rockwell was a very well-spoken, educated, professional who happened to be African-American. One day, Bob and I were having lunch together, and later, another colleague who had observed us together, commented, "He's the whitest black man I've ever seen." I called him out and told him that remark was offensive and racist;  the guy was obviously surprised and said he'd meant it as a compliment. I said, "Then I'm supposed to infer that you think that only white people USUALLY have his attributes?" He said, "I didn't mean anything by it."

SHOPPING WHILE BLACK, PART ll

I published the following in Sue's News in 2016:

In stores, I oftentimes see store personnel who stop people to check their receipts. I have never been stopped, but I always hold my receipt in my hand with my car keys. I always assumed people were stopped if there were un-bagged items in the cart. Tonight, I was behind a couple in the check-out line, who are African American, and I saw the man bagging all of their items before leaving the clerk's station and the woman paid cash for the items. 

I had one item to purchase and as I followed behind the couple, they were stopped to show their receipt. I had my receipt ready and the store employee waved and said, "You're all right." I said, "I know that I am all right, but what was wrong with those folks ahead of me?" She said, "They had something that wasn't in a bag." I said, "That's NOT true; I was behind them in line and he bagged everything." excuse for the behavior

I asked her about the Company policy and as I was unsatisfied with the response, I asked to speak to the Store Manager and was informed that he was not available. An assistant came to speak to me and gave me a mealy-mouthed excuse. 

Tomorrow I will call the District Manager to inquire about the Company policy.