From PATTY BURCH
GIVING UP CHOCOLATE
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy chocolate with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop eating chocolate years ago," the homeless woman told me.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well, I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."
The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and chocolate!"
Did you ever wonder, if you put all 50 state flowers together in a bouquet, what it would look like. It's truly beautiful.
Click here to see all the state flowers in all their beauty.
SUBMITTED BY ROGER SHIRKEY
VIETNAM VETERANS
"If you are able, save them a place inside of you and save one backward glance when you are leaving for all the places they can no longer go. Be not ashamed to say you loved them. Take what they have left and what they have taught you with their dying and keep it with your own. And in that time when men decide and feel safe to call the war insane, take one moment to embrace those gentle heroes you left behind."
Quote from a letter by Major Michael O'Donnell, KIA 24 March 1970. Shot down and killed while attempting to rescue eight fellow soldiers surrounded by attacking enemy forces.
This will keep you entertained for the next ten years!
Here is a web site like no other. If you are over 50, you will love this.
Here's the link for the TV oldies site: Click here
FATHER KNOWS BEST (1953)
The definitive aspartame family sitcom: Betty & Kathy fued begin over a bathing suit. Robert Young, Jane Wyatt, Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, Lauren Chapin.
PETTICOAT JUNCTION (1962)
Bea Bernadette and Edgar Buchanan bring up three perky teenage girls in Hooterville, at the Shady Rest Hotel; this show was the precursor to "Green Acres"
GROUCHO MARX YOU BET YOUR LIFE (1959)
Contestants: 11 year old Candice Bergen with dad, Edgar sans Charlie McCarthy, & Groucho's daughter, Melinda. Are the dads smarter than the 6th graders?
DRAGNET(1959)
Granddaddy of TV cop shows, the definitive police melodrama with Jack Webb as Sgt. Joe Friday, Ben Alexander as Officer Frank Smith.
THE MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL COMEDY GENIUS OF VICTOR BORGE 1951
Victor performs a new twist to Listz and it is a classic Borge, musical & comedy genius. Victor Borge's precision piano and satiric talent are as natural as his warmth.
ABBOTT & COSTELLO: WHO'S ON FIRST? 1951
The signature Bud Abbot and Lou Costello comedy routine often imitated, never duplicated. The duo did hosting stints on The Colegate Comedy Hour & Hollywood Palace.
THE LONE RANGER 1955
Hi Ho, Silver! Starring Clayton Moore, it was the top rated of all weekly TV western series.
THE GEORGE BURNS & GRACIE ALLEN SHOW 1953
starring George Burns, Gracie Allen, with Bea Bearnedette, Harry Von Zell, Fred Clark
THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW: MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY 1958
co-starring Marjorie Lord, Rusty Hammer, Angela Cartright; Jane Withers guests.
SID CAESAR'S YOUR SHOW OF SHOWS 1952-57
Legendary pre-SNL skit comedy, co-stars Imogene Coca, Carl Reiner, Howie Morris. Co-written by a very young Woody Allen & hilarious "This Is Your Life" parody (1952).
THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN 1954
After TV animation came a live Superman series starred George Reeves, Noel Neill as Lois Lane
THE ADVENTURES OF FLIPPER 1964
Let's get our minds off killer whales and go back to this beloved, adorable dolphin.
Each week this amazing mammal fascinated kids and adults by solving mysteries!
THE ELEGANT STYLE OF LIBERACE 1952
Liberace brought style to candlelight piano music, with brother George on violin.
MEDIC 1954
The first and still best medical drama series, Richard Boone hosts as Konrad Steiner MD.
THE BIG VALLEY 1965
An outstanding Western series with Barbara Stanwyck, Lee Majors & Linda Evans
Mc HALE'S NAVY 1962
Before Harvey Korman, Tim Conway was sidekick to Ernest Borgnine on this military sitcom.
HOPALONG CASSIDY 1952
The Saturday afternoon TV Western staple starring William Boyd as frontier vigilante Hoppy.
I LOVE LUCY 1952
Highlights from TV episodes involving the coming of "Little Ricky;"
Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance, William Frawley.
THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW 1962
Dick Van Dyke, Mary Tyler Moore
PASSWORD 1962
Allen Ludden hosted this popular game show 1962 to 1971 on all 3 networks & syndication
ARTHUR GODFREY: HIS WAY OR NO WAY 1957
He ridiculed sponsors, fired staff on air, fixed talent contests & made Godlike demands at CBS.
Yet, he still garnered big ratings, got a share of the network's revenue & plays the uke.
ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS 1959
"Good evening," then came the thriller from the Master Of Suspense, Alfred Hitchccock
The man whose big screen flix had us on seat edges brought same to small screens
FELIX THE CAT 1959
In 1928, RCA testing Vladimir Zworkyn's iconoscope, Felix The Cat was the first image on TV;
Oldies Television's roster would not be complete without Otto Mesmer's historic cartoon icon.
THE LITTLE RASCALS 1955
A top Saturday morning TV attraction of the 50's was re-worked MGM "Our Gang Comedies"
BEWITCHED 1966
Wriggle your nose, it's Elizabeth Montgomery as that saucy, sassy, beautiful, bedazzling witch & Dick York as befuddled hubbie, Darren
I DREAM OF JEANIE 1966
Out of the bottle comes that ravishingly capricious Jeanie, Barbara Eden (blink-blink).
Larry Hagman is her adopted master, Bill Daly is the bewildered buddy
OUR MISS BROOKS 1952
Eve Arden and Gale Gordon starred in this sitcom set in a not so typical suburban high school.
HOGAN'S HEROES 1964
Hilarious segments from the pilot and first season opener: there's a breakout at Camp 13! starring Bob Crane, Werner Klemperer, John Banner Ivan Dixon and Richard Dawson.
I MARRIED JOAN 1952
Tagged as the "Queen Of Comedy," Joan Davis stars with Jim Backus in this early sitcom
MY LITTLE MARGIE 1954
Charles Farrel as Vern Albright was single father to Margie, played by Gale Storm
ANNIE OAKLEY 1954
Gail Davis as the legendary woman gunslinger (and single mom), Annie Oakley
THE RIFLEMAN 1958
Chuck Connors stars as sharpshooter Lucas McCain out in the wild west.
TOPPER 1953
starring Leo G. Carroll, Anne Jeffreys, Robert Sterling, Lee Patrick, Kathleen Freeman
Banker Cosmo Topper has his refined life turned topsy turvy by two sensual ghosts.
THE ROY ROGERS-DALE EVANS SHOW 1954
Happy Trails! Roy Rogers and wife Dale Evans star in this endearing TV western.
And many more!
I am sick of LEMON.
Who, in his/her infinite wisdom, decided that LEMON was to be the scent du jour? Must I have everything--from Pledge to Windex--smell like LEMON? I liked the old smell of Windex! I even saw "lemon meringue pie" scent on candles!
Detergent, dishwashing liquid, bleach, disinfectants, dryer sheets, perfume, candles, soap, body wash, moist towelettes, carpet deodorizer, deodorizing wipes, bathroom cleaner, oven cleaner, dishwasher detergent, car deodorizers, computer screen wipes, air dusters, leather cleaner, mop pads, insoles, shaving cream, paper towels, cartridge filter cleaner, nail polish, car cleaners, wood shavings for pet boxes, and ant aerosols (what do the ants care?),--all LEMON-scented!
But today it went past all sensibility--I saw LEMON-SCENTED PAINT--now one's whole house can smell like lemons!
Our Fair booth sets directly across from the booth of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Every year for the past six years that I have been working at the fair booth, two different Elders work at the Mormon booth; this year one Elder was from Idaho and the other was from Utah. I always have nice conversations with the Elders. My five-great Grandfather was George Givens and George W. Givens, the author, wrote the definitive book on the tragedy at Nauvoo and I always initiate a conversation by mentioning that book and how I tried to find a genealogical link between my ancestor and the author. The Elders always then assume that I am Mormon because I know about Nauvoo and the book by Givens "In Old Nauvoo".
This year, one of my co-workers at the booth asked the location of the local Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Neither Elder Cannon nor Elder Hill knew the location. I told them that I knew the location and I also said I would think that's the first thing they would want to know in coming to Washington Court House. They explained that they'd come from Columbus just for the day and nobody had given them that information. They set about trying to find the location and about every 15 minutes I would hold my thumb to my ear and little finger to my mouth (the international "call me" sign) to ask if they'd found the location.
Oh, sure, I should have just told the Elders the address but it was too much fun seeing the nineteen-year-old and twenty-year-old "Elders" grappling with the problem.
This bit of amusement lasted for about two hours until the end of the day when Elder Hill, who had been writing copious notes, came to our table and asked, "Is it 7 Fayette Center?" I replied that was correct. He said, "I had that in my notes but it didn't sound like an address."
