CRINGE: EVEN MORE FAYETTE COUNTY TALK

At a function recently, I heard these:

IDEALS instead of IDEAS (Lori and I are going to start keeping count as we hear this so often!)

AF-A-GHAN instead of AFGHAN

LONG-IN-BERGER instead of LONGABERGER!

DROWNDED instead of DROWNED

FUTHER instead of FURTHER

People keep e-mailing these to me; here's the latest bunch to add to CRINGE:

The following are examples of Fayette Countians' tendency to ADD letters and syllables:

ATH-UH-LETE instead of ATHLETE
ATH-UH-LETIC instead of ATHLETIC
PRO-NOUNCI-ATION instead of PRONUNCIATION
MISCHIEV-I-OUS instead of MISCHIEVOUS
SHER-BERT instead of SHERBET
LI-UH-BLE instead of LIBEL
DIA-UH-LATE instead of DILATE
MASON-ARY instead on MASONRY
HEIGHTH instead of HEIGHT
ORIENTATE instead of ORIENT
REAL-UH-TOR instead of REALTOR
TRI-ATH-A-LON instead of TRIATHLON
PROSTRATE instead of PROSTATE
FEB-YOU-WARY instead of FEBRUARY
ORD-UH-NUNCE instead of ORDNANCE (the flip-side: ORDNANCE FOR ORDINANCE)
PRE-EMP-TORY instead of PEREMPTORY
EX-SCAPE instead of ESCAPE
TI-UH-JUANA instead of TIJUANA
ACROSS-ED instead of ACROSS
VO-LUMP-TUOUS instead of VOLUPTUOUS

Others:

LIBARY instead of LIBRARY
SPADE instead of SPAYED and SPADED instead of SPAYED
FLOUNDER instead of FOUNDER
NOTHER instead of OTHER
JIST instead of JUST
DIS instead of JUST
BARBITUATE instead of BARBITURATE
MANNAISE instead of MAYONNAISE
PLUTE instead of POLLUTE
JEWLERY instead of JEWELRY
MIN-UH-TURE instead of MINIATURE
LARNYX instead of LARYNX
BIDNESS instead of BUSINESS
LAMBAST instead of LAMBASTE
POINSETTA instead of POINSETTIA
LEASH instead of LEASE
PERCULATE instead of PERCOLATE
OSTENSIVELY instead of OSTENSIBLY
PERSCRIPTION instead of PRESCRIPTION
PARLAMENT instead of PARLIAMENT
CALVARY instead of CAVALRY and CAVALRY instead of CAVALRY
NUKE-U-LER instead of NUCLEAR (oh, well, they probably think Bush was correct!)
CAUCAPHONY instead of CACOPHONY
REVELENT instead of RELEVANT
MAWV instead of MAUVE (mowv)
TENET instead of TENANT
STOMP instead of STAMP
PROBLY instead of PROBABLY
ZUOLOGY instead of ZOOLOGY
SUPPOSEBLY instead of SUPPOSEDLY
WET instead of WHET
TENDERHOOKS instead of TENTERHOOKS
PRESPIRE instead of PERSPIRE
TACK instead of TACT
YAWLK instead of YOLK
POTTABLE instead of POTABLE
WADN'T instead of WASN'T
STOB instead of STUB
VERBAGE instead of VERBIAGE
SUIT instead of SUITE
AFFADAVID instead of AFFIDAVIT
EXPRESSO instead of ESPRESSO
ANTARTIC instead of ANTARCTIC and ARTIC instead of ARCTIC
CLOSE instead of CLOTHES
FOILAGE instead of FOLIAGE

Phrases:

SOSE instead of SO THAT
KLU KLUX KLAN instead of KU KLUX KLAN
HEINEKEN MANEUVER instyead of HEIMLEICH MANEUVER
IN PARENTHESIS instead of IN PARENTHESES
TO HELL IN A HANDBAG instead of HELL IN A HAND BASKET
CARPOOL TUNNEL SYNDOME instead of CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME
PERSNICKETY instead of PERNICKETY
SPITTING IMAGE instead of SPIT AND IMAGE
TAKE FOR GRANITE instead of TAKE FOR GRANTED
BLESSING IN THE SKIES instead of BLESSING IN DISGUISE
CARD SHARK instead of CARD SHARP
BOB WIRE instead of BARBED WIRE
EX CETERA instead of ET CETERA
CHESTER DRAWERS instead of CHEST OF DRAWERS
DOGGY DOG WORLD instead of DOG-EAT-DOG WORLD
FOR ALL INTENSIVE PURPOSES instead of FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES