"A WEDDING GIFT IS NOT AN INVOICE"

I have written before about the prevalent lack of civility in our daily lives, but the lack of good manners continues to astound me. Below are just recent examples!

A friend received an invitation to a baby shower and she has never met either the expectant mother or father. The father-to-be is the nephew of a friend of hers. If that presumptuousness to invite an unknown person weren't bad enough, the mother-to-be is registered at Target for gifts and there were seven pages of her gift registry and the seventh page was a list of items for her instead of the baby! Some of the items were a camisole and robe.

I received an invitation to a baby shower and the person lives at The Village which is a local housing complex. As I know several people who live at The Village, I called each one and not one of them had any knowledge of the person hosting the shower nor the honoree! One of the people I called actually lived in front of the address on the invitation but did not know either person.

A young woman I know intended to be married in June of this year. However, she became pregnant in April of last year and they wanted to be married before the birth of the baby. She had no health care coverage and when she learned that the child's father's insurance would not cover the delivery of the baby because it would be considered a pre-existing condition, they decided to postpone the wedding until after the birth of the baby. Instead of saving money to pay for the baby's delivery, they decided for her to collect government assistance and to be married after the birth of the baby. They decided to save money for the wedding! Relatives of hers were stunned that I said that I would not be going to a wedding shower, or to the wedding, because I thought that it was disgraceful to be saving money for a wedding rather than having taxpayers foot the bill for the birth of their baby.

Recently, I sent a very nice present for a wedding shower of a member of my husband's family and I never received a thank-you card. One of the relatives asked what I was giving as a wedding present and I laughed and said, "Hell, I haven't received a thank-you card for the shower gift yet."

The relative actually said, "Young people don't do those things any more!"

My answer: "Then tell the young people they don't get another gift from this old person!"

I sent a reply to that wedding invitation--using proper etiquette--declining the invitation and giving the couple best wishes.

Miss Manners wrote: "A wedding invitation is not an invoice."