GOING POSTAL MORAL DILEMMA

A friend of ours inherited hundreds of old postage stamps from his mother; he uses them on everything he mails to us. On this year's Christmas card (see envelope picture) he used:

2 five-cent stamps honoring President Kennedy
2 five-cent stamps honoring American music
2 five-cent stamps honoring the fine arts
2 five-cent stamps emblazoned with "Search For Peace"
1 six-cent Leif Erikson commemorative stamp

I love them and all are especially meaningful to me, but now I face a moral dilemma: the stamps are not cancelled. What should I do? Peel them off? Use them again? A MORAL DILEMMA!

I don't collect stamps as a philatelist would, but I have a sizable collection, as I love stamps which are significant to me; I don't want to "keep" them; I like to use them when I send items to people I know who will also appreciate them. For example, I still have 29-cent Elvis stamps which I reserve for fellow fanatics; I use Mark Twain stamps to correspond with a fellow devotee, and I use snowman stamps for Christmas cards for my friends I know who love snowmen! Last week I prepared a package to send to my friend Patty and it had the following stamps attached:

RAY CHARLES
ROSA PARKS
HELEN HAYES
JOSE FERRER
MILES DAVIS
MEDAL OF HONOR
ANNIVERSARY OF THE EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION
ANNIVERSARY OF THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON

I took my box of additional stamps with me in case I needed to add more postage.

When I went to the post office the clerk asked, in a loud voice, "Do you want to send this the cheapest way possible?" I didn't like being asked that, and I replied, quietly, "What are my options?" She began rattling off a list of items such as bottles and explosives which could not be mailed, and she also mentioned books. I said, "Yes, there's a book inside." She said, "Then you have to go medium." I didn't know what that meant, but I asked, "So, if I lied and said I didn't have a book, then I could mail it less EXPENSIVELY?" I could tell she did not appreciate my sarcasm. I wanted the $50.00 insurance for the package and she told me the amount of the additional cost and as she started to stamp the additional postage, I raised my hand--and my voice--and said, "NO, I have the stamps here; how many more will it take?" She told me that it would require 7 additional stamps; I stood there going through my numerous stamps, deciding which ones to apply which Patty might enjoy and I did not hand them to the clerk but applied each one by myself.

I hope Patty's stamps are not cancelled and that she will use them again! WHY would that clerk even presume to think I would want to send a package "the cheapest way possible"? Yes, I'm laughing at myself!

HORS D'OEUVRE

Mona Lisa sent me the article (see here) "25 PARTY APPETIZERS THAT SHOULD BE BANNED FOR LIFE.

Her accompanying note read: "For the undisputed Queen of hors d'ooeuvres who not only knows how to spell them, pronounce them, and cook them, and also knows the difference between them and canapés!" I read that the literal translation for hors d'oeuvre is "out of work"; all I have to say is that your appetizers look like a lot of work. Here's hoping for some rumaki at your next get-together!

ADJECTIVITUS

Mona Lisa wrote to tell me that I suffer from ADJECTIVITUS. CLICK HERE to see the article by Richard Nordquist.

I do admit I love a good adjective! My brother chastised my overuse of the word "egregious" and I answered, "But it is so succinct!"

THINGS ONLY MEN SAY

At a birthday party today, I was sitting with a male friend and as some of the people were leaving, one of the men said, "Aren't you glad you were able to see me?"

I was taking a drink at that moment and I did a spit-take; I asked my male companion, "Do you know that there are things that ONLY men say?"

He asked what I meant and I mentioned what had just been said and I continued, "Here's another: what can I do you for; no woman would say that!"

He asked, "What are some other examples?"

I said, "Only men say are you working hard or hardly working and ever since Christ was a Corporal."

My companion laughed in recognition of the quotes. I said, "But my favorite is when men are in stores and they see a male acquaintance they will ask are you going to pay for mine too?"

"When you say "Hi.", men will answer, "Not for a long time."

I told him that I'd written a BLOG article entitled THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN (see here) and that I'd mentioned that men seem to have a problem with small talk.

I swear I have never heard a woman use any of these conversational gambits!

DOFF

My Facebook Friend Hazel Lee posted the following: "Does anyone remember when men would remove their hats when entering a room or building? Remember when men would tip their hats when seeing a woman on the street?"

I answered that my husband STILL removes his hat or cap when entering rooms or buildings. He's lost a couple of hats in the years we've been together.

I said that the reason that one doesn't hear the word "doff" any more is because men don't doff their hats because most men don't wear hats, and can one doff a baseball cap?

When Gerald and I went to The Alamo, we were milling about before the presentation. I asked several men to remove their caps. Each one of them acted offended and asked why. I said, "Don't you know that you're in a CHURCH?" I was greeted by several "hunhs"! When the docent came in to relate the story of The Alamo, he told the men to remove their hats. I felt vindicated.

One time, my nephew was to meet me for lunch at Bob Evans. When he sat down I said, "Take off your cap." Dumfounded, he asked why and I said, "Because you're supposed to!" An older woman--at least I think she was older than yours truly--leaned over to our table and said, "Thank you, honey!"

I was at the home of my sister-in-law for Christmas Eve and the boyfriend of her granddaughter was there to meet the family for the first time. All during the time he wore a ridiculous, chartreuse-colored, patterned, ski cap. When I suggested that he remove it to eat dinner, he refused, saying his head was cold!

This past week, I was at a nursing home to attend a wedding (yes, a wedding!)and several men were sitting there wearing baseball caps. I said, "Please remove your caps, gentlemen, we're going to have a wedding!" Only one did!

WTH is wrong with men? I know it's not JUST young men as those guys were all OLD!

KODA

Les said, "I just saw the most adorable thing."

Number one, for my brother to use the word "adorable" was enough to pique my interest, and Number two, I was prepared for some fun-poking! I asked, "Is it poignant or moving?" Knowing that those words often come up in his descriptions of the sometimes-sappy things I enjoy (CLICK HERE to see BLOG article JOIE DE VIVRE), I expected a snappy retort.

But no, he was serious! I asked what could possibly have affected him and he asked, "Have you seen the video with the little girl signing Christmas carols to her deaf parents?"

Gerald oftentimes says that I am as "sensitive as an old brown shoe". Les said, "And tell your equally-callous friend that she would have to have a heart of stone not to be touched by this!"

OK, I admit this is touching, moving, and poignant!

KODA stands for KIDS OF DEAF ADULTS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

SEASONS GREETINGS

I went to pick up an order at our local deli. There are always religious quotes on a white board they have displayed. I always think to myself, "I wonder why they waste their time hand-printing these Biblical quotes rather than posting specials?" I wonder who they think they are going to convert; believers already believe and non-believers don't believe. They do a good job with what I want; I just ignore the proselytizing!

Today as I paid, the young clerk said, "Merry Christmas". I didn't respond and as I was putting away my wallet, a man behind me piped up and said, "I'm just glad you didn't say Happy Holidays." Knowing that his little "lecture" was meant for my benefit, I answered, "Perhaps you don't know the derivation of the word holiday; it actually means HOLY DAY, so people saying Happy Holidays are quite observant also!"

As I left the store I said, loudly, "SEASONS GREETINGS!"

How dare people to try to enforce their so-called "beliefs" on others!

DINNER WITH TWENTY-SEVEN

I went to visit a friend at his nursing home and as I was leaving, there were car loads of people exiting their vehicles and heading to the building. I asked, "Are you carolers?" and when they answered that they were, I asked if I could join them. The group was comprised of old, middle-aged, and young people, including one man carrying a baby! I asked how many were in the group and the leader told me 27. I asked, "Is this your whole congregation?" and one of the women laughed and answered, "Just about!"

Their group is from a church in Sabina and one of the women told me that her brother is a patient at the nursing home and this was their fifth caroling session that day!

The pastor asked if I knew my way around the facility. I said, "Please come to sing for my friend Charles." We sang as we walked down the hallway and when we got to Charles' room, one of the songs to be sung was Joy To The World. One of the women started to hand me a sheet with the lyrics on there. I said, "Oh, I know all four verses!" She said, "We only have two."

When it was time to sing the third verse, only MY voice rang out:

"No more let sin and sorrow grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground
He comes to make his message known
Far as the curse is found
FAR AS, FAR AS, THE CURSE IS FOUND."

All joined in for the chorus!

I would have gladly sung the fourth verse but the group was easing out of the room.

After we'd finished caroling throughout the facility, one of the women asked me to take a picture of the group; I said that I would try but I am not a good picture-taker!

I told one of the women that I write a daily BLOG and that I am always on the look-out for "an adventure" and this would be my next article! I said that I wanted a copy of the picture to use with the article. I went to speak to the woman with the camera and I gave her one of my business cards with the e-mail address on it and I, in turn, asked for her e-mail address. When she wrote down "Patty Wheeler" I exclaimed, "You sell Gold Canyon candles!" She asked, "How do you know that?" I exclaimed, "I'm Sue Raypole; you and I have been playing Facebook tag for a month!" Patty wanted to attend different craft shows and we kept e-mailing each other, but had never met!

The pastor asked me to join them for dinner at Frisch's. Of course, I was not going to let them pay for my dinner but they insisted; when I offered him money as a donation to the church, he said to give it to the waitress! I said, "I already left that poor girl a generous tip!"

I just sent a check in a Christmas card.

A KIDNAPPED SANTA CLAUS by L. FRANK BAUM #3

The A Kidnapped Santa Claus by L. Frank Baum is a rather dark tale which is ironically set in Laughing Valley where Santa resides with elves, fairies, pixies, knooks, and ryls. Also living there in caves, are daemons, and they kidnap Santa because they want to prevent him from making toys which will make children happy. Of course their plot doesn't turn out the way they intended.

CLICK HERE for a link.

THE BURGLAR'S CHRISTMAS BY WILLA CATHER #2

The Burglar's Christmas was first published under the pseudonym Elizabeth Seymour when Cather was 23 years old. This story of love and redemption is a re-telling of the Prodigal Son parable.

CLICK HERE to read the story.

FAVORITE CHRISTMAS STORIES #1

One of my brothers told me NOT to post my favorite Christmas carols AGAIN on the BLOG this year. He said, "It's bad enough that we have to listen to your singing carols from the day after Thanksgiving until after Christmas!"

Instead, I'll be sharing some of my other favorite Christmas stories. You all know The Gift Of The Magi, A Visit From Saint Nicholas, A Christmas Carol, and the Little Match Girl, but there are lesser-known stories which I treasure. For example, I adore Mark Twain's A Letter From Santa Claus.

Twain began by writing to his beloved daughter as if he were Santa: "My dear Susie Clemens..." and he continues in that vein with a letter which is charming and imaginative and filled with good will for others in need and instructing Susie how she should receive her gifts and Twain ends by writing: "Your loving Santa Claus whom people sometimes call The Man In The Moon."

CLICK HERE to see it.

The picture of Samuel Clemens as Santa is wonderful!

WILL YOU SAY THERE'S NO ROOM?

I love Christmas music and when I attended a cantata recently I heard a song I had not known previously. The name of the song is No Room At The Inn.

The rendition was a solo performed by a young woman with a beautiful voice. She gave a slow, soulful, bluesy presentation. It was if she were channeling Nancy Wilson or some other jazz singer. I was surprised because I was in a Pentecostal church!

After the performance I went to meet the singer to compliment her performance and to learn about the song. She told me that she had been singing it for years and that she knew that a great number of singers had recorded it.

I wish I had her version to share. The one that I found on YouTube from The Staple Singers is nice but misses the passion of the amateur singer.

Looking at the lyrics online and listening to the song from several different singers (including Mahalia Jackson and Anne Murray), I realize that the singer ad-libbed the closing line because I recall that she ended by singing a question:

"When Jesus comes, will you say there's no room?"

BLESSED ARE THEY THAT CAN LAUGH AT THEMSELVES...

From LEE RENO

1. You accidentally enter your PIN in the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to yours.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with family and friends is that they don't have e-mail or Facebook addresses.

6. You pull up in your driveway and use your cell phone to call someone inside to help with the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a website listed at the bottom of the screen.

8. When you leave the house without your cell phone, (which you never had for the first 20/30/40 years of your life), it is now cause for panic, and you turn back around to go get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on-line before you've had your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

12. You're reading this, and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you're going to forward the message.

14. You are too busy to notice that there's no Number 9 above.

15. You actually scrolled up to see.

16. Now you're laughing at yourself. Blessed are they that laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to amuse!

"OH" or "0"?

Les always makes fun of me when he hears me giving my telephone number to anyone because I say "5-OH-5-6 ZERO x-x" for 505-60xx (x for privacy issues). I don't know why I say the "OH" and then automatically follow with the "ZERO"! When I give my home telephone number, I always say "ZERO" but there's only ONE "0" in that number!

CLICK HERE to see the Grammarphobia article "The Many Ways To Say Nothing". OH, I guess I'm not the only ONE!

HAVE YOU GOT A GOOD GRASP OF GRAMMAR?

See the link and take the test. It asserts that 91% is excellent!

My friend Ken Cole wrote that he had 100% correct answers. I replied that I also had 100% but I had to quibble that it should show "DO YOU HAVE..." rather than "HAVE YOU GOT...". I am also told that I am "picky"!

CLICK HERE to take the test.

DOES RHYMING HAVE AN IMPACT ON PERCEIVED TRUTHFULNESS?

Mona Lisa sent this article from THE WISE GEEK with a note:

"Does anyone read poetry? I challenge everyone I know to name a current poet; of course, you are exempt as I know YOU would know a contemporary poetess, but I don't know anyone else who would. How will 'new' clichés begin if people don't read? Then why are you the only one I know who quotes poetry, Quote Girl? Just some questions. But I was SOOO proud of myself--on Jeopardy! last night--for knowing that CHRISTINA ROSETTI was the sister of Dante Gabriel! Knowing you has been my liberal education. Oops, shall I attribute that to Shaw? Oh, Hell, I must look it up!

[Note: Mona Lisa is known for her stream-of-consciousness writing and lack of paragraphs.]

FROM THE WISE GEEK:

Studies show the statements that rhyme are more likely to be perceived as
being true and accurate.

Statements that include rhyming words are more likely to be perceived as being true, research shows. In one study, two versions of aphorisms, or concise statements presenting general opinions or ideas, were presented to participants — one version that rhymed and another version that substituted a non-rhyming word that had the same meaning. Aphorisms containing words that rhyme, such as “birds of a feather flock together” were rated by participants as being more truthful than those that did not. Researchers believe this could be because the brain has an easier time processing rhymes, and people might mistake this ease as indicating truthfulness.

CROTCH-FIRST

I only want to sit on the aisle whether it is on an airplane, in a theater, or any other event, because I don't want to be the ONE putting my FRONT or REAR in the faces of others! (See the URBAN DICTIONARY item below). The Urban Dictionary writer seems to think BACK-FIRST is preferable, but I think both are equally distasteful. If I am forced to be anywhere in a place in other than a seat on the aisle I will STAND to avoid the back or front of others.

Ziggy, the husband of my husband's grand-niece Aron, prefers the front-side from women because he enjoys a little frottage! (CLICK HERE to see BLOG article "ZIGGY".)

crotch-first

When someone walks in front of you getting to their seats at a sports event and they choose to go facing you. If you are still sitting down then it will be their crotch to your face. This is considered poor practice and should be replaced by their backside in your face.

I was at the game last night and these guys walked past us to get to their seats and they went by crotch-first. It was so gross.

MY DARLING CLEMENTINE

My grand-niece published this cartoon on Facebook; I answered with this comment:

I named my turkey "Tom", my fudge "Candy" and my darling little citrus fruit "Clementine". No, I couldn't help the pun! Please, please, I hope some of her Facebook friends "get" it!

BANGORRHEA

My brother has lectured me about my overuse of exclamation points in my writing! I told him that one of my New Year's resolutions would be to guard against it! [Yes, of course I realize that I just wrote two sentences and ended each with an exclamation point!] I'll try next year!

The URBAN DICTIONARY has a word for the problem: BANGORRHEA. See below.

bangorrhea

1) Overusing exclamation points in a vain and failing attempt to make your writing sound more exciting. Trying to put more "bang" in your prose, but looking instead like you have exclamation point diarrhea.

"Checking in with a bad case of 'bangorrhea' -- the official grammedical term for exclamation-point overdose -- is Kanye West. In a single blog post, West used 188 exclamation points. At least we think it was 188. We tried counting and the ordeal made our eyeballs twitch." --Martha Brockenbrough, MSN Encarta columnist

PERFECTION SALAD

I was reminiscing about how great our school lunches were--I know that kids today find that unbelievable--but we did have good lunches.

Mrs. Elliott (Jackie Elliott's mom) and Mrs. Houseman did the cooking every day during my 12 years at Bloomingburg School. The only thing they did not cook well was navy beans--we called them "bullets"--because they were hard. Mother said that they didn't have time to cook them until they were "done"!

I can recall sitting in study hall and the potato washing machine made a a rumbling noise. I am now amazed that those two women were able to cook all that food in the time allotted to them.

Staples such as beef stew on biscuits, and cream dried beef over toast (shit on the shingle, folks!) were delicious and I still make those dishes. Fridays were meatless because of the Catholic kids but the peanut butter sandwiches and tomato soup were good! To this day I still serve cottage cheese with peaches just the way it was presented in those little dessert dishes!

As a grown-up I called Nina Elliott to ask her how they fixed the pineapple slices with the lime Jell-O; here's the secret: remove all the juice from a can of pineapple; pour lime Jell-O into the can and refrigerate until set. Push the pineapple and Jell-O from the can and slice! Put a dollop of mayonnaise on top! I said, "So you did that with all the cans of pineapple; enough to serve the whole school?" She merely laughed and said that it was an easy dessert to prepare!

One day I asked Les, "Remember Perfection Salad? We had it all the time at school." He said he did not remember it. A survey of the other brothers resulted in one saying "Yuck!" and the other having no recollection. I said, "I think I'll make it." I went online to get the recipe and I made it. It is absolutely disgusting! See the picture and the recipe.

Perhaps my memory of school lunches is fallible!

Perfection Salad

Ingredients

1 cup boiling water
1 (3 ounce) package lemon Jell-O gelatin
2 tablespoons vinegar or lemon juice
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup cold water
1 cup finely diced celery
1 cup finely shredded cabbage
1 tablespoon dried onion flakes
2 tablespoons chopped pimiento
mayonnaise

Directions
Pour boiling water over jello in bowl.
Stir until jello is disolved.
Stir in vinegar, veggies, salt, and cold water.
Pour into mold, chill until firm.
Serve unmolded on chilled plate, topped with a generous dollop of mayonnaise (family tradition of the last 30 years or so demands that you use Best Foods mayo brand - *never* Miracle Whip).
If preferred, use 1/2 cup celery and 1 cup grated carrot.
You can use sugar-free jello for a diabetic/lowcarb version of Perfection Salad. Sometimes lemon jello is difficult to find - we've sometimes used lime instead.

IT'S AN ACCIDENT JUST WAITING TO HAPPEN

Today I've been singing, "Oh, the weather outside is frightful..." and I just wanted to complete my errands, return home, build a fire in the fireplace, have some hot chocolate, and watch a movie!

On Elm Street, hardly a block from home, I was following behind a Jeep. Suddenly the Jeep went off the street, hit a puddle of water, and splashed the water all over the vehicle. I assumed it was a kid in the Jeep, and Hell, I've done that myself; I was merely amused as I wasn't following closely and didn't get splashed. Suddenly the driver slammed on the brakes. Then I thought it might be an erratic drunk driver. I looked in my rear view mirror and as there were no cars behind me I was considering backing up in a driveway, turning around, and getting away from that car but my intuition told me there might be a problem.

I pulled up beside the Jeep and the driver looked over--it was not a kid--and I mouthed the words, "Are you okay?" He rolled down his window and I rolled down mine. He said, "I think I just dozed off." I said, "Pull over, take a nap; there is nothing so important for you to risk your life." He pulled the Jeep off the street and I pulled behind him. I got out of my car and went to his car and I told him to get out and walk around. I then bored him with stories of my travails of driving to Marysville and I would stop in London, get out of the car, get a Coke, and then go home and also driving to Columbus and stopping at Harrisburg. I told him that I'd even taken naps; I said, "Your nap won't last long; you'll wake up from the cold!"

When I got home Les said, "It's a wonder you didn't put him back to sleep with your stories!"


CLICK HERE to read an article about the lack of sleep and vehicle accidents.

NAMES DU MOIS

I am dismayed by people who give unusual names to their children. One of my friends said, "I just gave it the President's test--how does President TIFFANY sound? If it doesn't sound presidential, don't name them that!" That was good advice before President Obama!

Recently a grand niece of my husband named her child "ETHEN" rather than using the standard spelling of "ETHAN". I reminded her that her own sister has struggled with her name being spelled "STEPHENIE" rather than "STEPHANIE"! Until I gave Steph a bracelet with "Stephenie" on it, she said she'd never seen her name spelled "right"!

In selling charms, it is a sure-fire sale if I can guarantee a name will be spelled "right" ("Yes, Kaytelyn, I can get it spelled correctly!", I said just last week.) My biggest selling point is that I can have ANY name inscribed on a charm. I call them the "names du jour". My supplier and I have an ongoing competition (CLICK HERE to see BLOG article: NEVAEH)

This month I have had five spellings of the same name: Kallie, Calleigh, Kalli, Calli, and Callie! It's the name du mois! (I can't help myself: mois is French for month!)

Over the years, I have read numerous articles which tell the problems of having unusual names! Today "THE WISE GEEK" published the following:

People who have uncommon names tend to be happier.
A person’s name might affect his or her happiness, because people who have rare names report higher levels of happiness than those with more common names, research shows. Researchers believe this could be the result of humans’ subconscious desire to be considered unique from others.
Research also reveals that people who have common names are likely to rate their names as being more rare than they actually are, a psychology term referred to as the false uniqueness effect.

I doubt this assertion. I notice that no "research" information is cited. CLICK HERE to see an article which dispels that notion.

PINK!

I am usually impatient if I have to wait; if we go to a restaurant and there's a long waiting line, I tell Gerald, "Let's go somewhere else, the food isn't good enough to wait!" I recall that the last time I waited in line was to see The Exorcist!

Waiting is tolerable if I have "interesting" people to view! Today I was in the waiting room at our hospital and there was a splendid panoply of people and their outfits for me to enjoy! It's difficult to believe how some people go out in public. (CLICK HERE to check the "Walmartians" or Google for more!)

The first person who came in was a petite woman who was obviously dressed for the weather. She was wearing gray sweat pants which were tucked into rather stylish black boots. She was wearing a black suede jacket, black suede gloves accompanied with a green hat and matching scarf; she was carrying a small, black Coach purse. Since she was so "matchy-matchy" (that's a derisive term from the Fashion Police), and coordinated, I thought she might be of my generation, but I must admit I am totally incompetent at guessing age. I judged her to be in her 60s because of her shuffling gait when she walked in (but that might have been from the boots), and she looked like, as my brothers would say, "she was rode hard and put up wet"! She had rough skin and deep wrinkles, but I could see dark hair visible from under her hat. After our opening conversation gambit about the weather, she asked why I was there and then I asked her the same and she told me her daughter was there. As we were talking, I noticed that she still had her natural teeth; I thought that she might be younger than I had originally thought. I asked her daughter's age, but I was floored when she said, "18; she'll be 19 in January." I began adding and subtracting in my head and I thought, "If she were 18 when she was born, that would make her 36; 18 plus 25 would make her only 43; 18 plus 35 would make her 53; well, she's probably in her 50s." NO, I didn't have the crassness to ask her age!

When her name was called, she got up and I saw that PINK was appliqued on the rear of the sweat pants! That might be appropriate for a thirteen-year-old, but not for someone who has an 18-year-old daughter! How disappointing to see that from a "woman of a certain age"! When I told Les he said, "At least it didn't have JUICY!"

I thought, "I wonder if these people are assessing me?" I was wearing brown shoes, brown slacks, white blouse, and a camel-colored jacket. My overcoat was taupe and my gloves were brown.

I looked down at my Burberry purse and thought, "That looks very springish; I should have used a dark brown purse."

As I was contemplating my possible fashion faux pas, a woman walked in wearing a parka with a fur-lined hood, Crocs, and SHORTS!

"OUT AMONG 'EM"--CRINGE!

Granny would always say that she'd "been out among 'em", when she'd been out socializing, meaning that she'd come in contact with different kinds of people.

Selling at craft shows each weekend for the past month, I've been "out among 'em", meeting greatly diverse shoppers and fellow vendors.

It's time for a new collection of CRINGE--FAYETTE COUNTY TALK:

JEWLERY rather than jewelry
BIDNESS rather than business
WADN'T rather than wasn't
SOSE rather than so as
NOTHER rather than other
ACROSSED rather than across
REOCCUR rather than recur
AKS rather than ask
SNUCK rather than sneaked
HEIGHTH rather than height
CANNIDATE rather than candidate
SUPPOSABLY rather than supposedly
DOGGY-DOG WORLD rather than dog-eat-dog world
UPMOST rather than utmost
EXCAPE rather than escape
HEIGHTH rather than HEIGHT
PROBLY rather than probably

And, of course, the Fayette County constant:

IDEAL rather than idea

And this one, especially for my friend Patty, who thinks I am picayune about FORTE:

FORTE: it is pronounced FORT unless speaking of music. I wouldn't have mentioned it but it was said by an OSU graduate who said, "That's my FOR-TAY!" in response to a person inquiring about a product. In a short conversation, the OSU connection was mentioned TWICE! No, Patty, I didn't correct the very proud OSU alumna as I was hopeful of selling OSU charms!

SENIOR SCAMS

I attended a Kiwanis Club presentation about Senior Scams. Ryan Lippe of the Ohio Attorney General's Consumer Protection Agency gave a very informative presentation.

During the question-and-answer period I told that just a few days before the meeting I received a very impressive packet; inside there was no letter, just a check for $2,150. Of course, I knew it was some kind of scam. The return address was from "SWISS CHAVELAS" in Scott, Missouri. I Googled that address and learned that the address was actually the number of the Scott County Ambulance Business Office. The person there was very interested and she gave me the number of the County Sheriff's office. The Sheriff Department's individual took down all of my information and told me that she was going to report it to the Missouri Attorney General.

Then I called the telephone number from the check; it was an answering machine with a demonstrably foreign accent. I left a message. Next I Googled the business name and learned that the "business" is owned by Larry Cohen and has 1 employee and the revenues last year were $50,000. The phone number from that site was different than the number on the check. I called that number and the voice of "Larry Cohen" was on that answering machine. I asked for him to call me.

I called our local Sheriff's office and the person showed no interest in taking any information and told me to call the Attorney General. The number I was given by the local Sheriff's Department was for the wrong department; I went online and found the correct number to call. I was instructed to mail all of the items and what I'd learned.

Of course, I never heard from the first number nor the second number I'd called; however, I received a call from the Missouri Attorney General's personnel, which impressed me a great deal.

Of course, I recognized it as the scam. Other "elderly" people might fall for them.

Our local newspaper, the Record-Herald, featured an article with my comments and a photograph! (See the article of November 27, 2013, front page.)

I had a client who sent out at least 5 sweepstakes entries weekly. He actually believed the sweepstakes offers he received were legitimate and he donated money to nearly all of them. He had been giving $10.00 a month to one organization. I went online and showed him that only 1% of the revenues went to any cancer-related organization. On one offer in particular he showed me a letter "guaranteeing" a win. I said, "Read the fine print; it says IF your name is chosen", but the proof did not phase him; he was certain he would win and kept donating; I told him I would bet him $1,000 that he would NOT receive the check. (Boy, I would have been sorry for that one IF he had won!)

He even kept submitting entries in his late wife's name, and told me that his attorney had told him that he could receive the winnings. I told him, "That would be only for ones she submitted before she died." He sincerely believed that he could continue entering in his wife's name and receive the money!

I went online and showed him that the only legitimate one he was donating to was St. Jude's; all the others were just money pits for unscrupulous con men. One organization had 5 different scams in its organization: one was for Kids With Cancer and four other cancer-related "sweepstakes"! My client was donating to all of them. When I showed him that the CEO was being paid nearly a million dollars, and that the donations had been only 3 million; and that 98% of the funds were for "overhead". As a former businessman, the client finally realized it was a massive scam. He did quit that one but there are at least 10 others to take its place.

He obviously has money to burn. I calculated that he spends more than $200 per year in postage and more than $2,000 in donations to the sweepstakes scams.

SPONGE-WORTHY

In my years of caregiving, I found a great number of "generational differences". Some of the most contentious dialogues I've had with older people are about the use of sponges, mainly in the kitchen. One time I threw away a kitchen sponge and the client was furious with me; I bought another but it went unused by me! When I said they weren't "sponge-worthy", I found it difficult to explain the reference from Seinfeld from the character Elaine! (see YouTube segment below)

Recently, I was helping a nephew set up in his apartment. Another family member (just a year older than I) had kindly brought many cleaning supplies, among which were sponges. I told my nephew to use them only once and stated that they were the "dirtiest household item". The other family member took exception and said that she'd used them "all her life". My exclamation of "EEWWWW" was not greeted warmly. She said that they can be put in the dishwasher and I countered with the argument that the water didn't get hot enough to kill the bacteria. She said that they could be put in the microwave or boiled. Another "EEWWW" was my counter-argument.

See the lengthy BLOG article here from "The Parsimonious Princess": The Dirty Truth: Get Rid Of Your Kitchen Sponge.

Also see the article below from THE WISE GEEK:

The dirtiest household item is often a kitchen sponge, with more than 75% of all sponges containing potential fecal bacteria, research has shown. Kitchen sponges have been found to be more than 200,000 times dirtier than toilet seats. The average kitchen sponge is thought to contain more than 10 million bacteria per square inch (6.45 square cm), which is typically the result of its moisture levels and small crevices that allow germs to breed. The risk of spreading germs with a kitchen sponge can be reduced by microwaving it to kill bacteria.

E-MAIL FOR SUE'S NEWS

Several of my readers have requested that my BLOG be sent daily to their e-mails.

If you would like to receive my BLOG in your email, go to the right side of my BLOG to the new item called "Follow by Email" and enter your email address. A confirmation block will appear with a captcha; complete the information and a confirmation will be sent to your email. You must click on the confirmation to activate the service.


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WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A RELATIVE!

Did you ever have one of those days, weeks, etc., when everything seems to go wrong? Hey, it's Thanksgiving--count your blessings--right?

Thanksgiving Day; 1:00 PM; time to put Tom in the oven. Flashing light F9 came on the stove. I have had the stove 20 years with nary a complaint. Fortunately, we have a "manual/warranty drawer"; Les checked it out and the instruction was to turn off the power for a short period then return to the power. Les shut off the breaker and after checking several times, the elements in the oven stayed on, glowing fiery red!

I called my brother with the plaintive cry, "Houston, we have a problem," and told him that Gerald could take the turkey, noodles and potatoes to him to cook. I sent detailed instructions regarding the turkey and noodles, but with the potatoes I only sent a large pan, 2 sticks of butter, and a potato masher, with no instructions.

My niece called and said, "I've NEVER mashed potatoes except from a box!" After I gave her some "comforting" words ("WHAT? You've NEVER...? Surely your dad knows how to mash potatoes!") I gave instructions. Les got out 2 Nesco roasters and we fixed the stuffing, sweet potatoes, and corn casserole in those. Oh, NO! What about the rolls? That's my brother's favorite thing. I put away the yeast and went to the store! The only thing resembling a dinner roll were BOLILLOS and croissants ! I grabbed a couple packages and headed back home. Les wrapped them in foil and put them in a Crock Pot to warm.

So, the turkey was delicious, the noodles were the best ever, and Tracey's mashed potatoes were great!

WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A RELATIVE!

I called the 800 number for Sears repair and I guess my asking the guy, "How's the weather in Mumbai today?" was not a good opening gambit. After a few minutes, he said that there would be a repairman at our house the next day--Black Friday--between the hours of 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM.

After waiting all day, I told Les, "I'm going to double check at 3:00." When I called, I didn't get my Mumbai native, but another representative said it would be DECEMBER 20th for the repairman. I didn't "screak"--I SCREAMED--"This is patently ridiculous!" (Yes, I actually said "patently"!) The representative said she would continue checking.

While she was checking, Gerald came downstairs and said that he'd received an e-mail showing that it would be December 30 (yes, December thirtieth!) for the repairman to come!

I hung up the phone and called the local Sears store and I was given the name of a local guy; he came in thirty minutes and although he had to order a part, he switched off the oven which allows us to use the burners and microwave and when he receives the part he'll repair the oven!

I called to cancel the appointment with the 800-number people, and I was actually asked WHY I was cancelling the appointment!

Les says the moral of this story is not to piss off a guy from Mumbai!

VANITY, THY NAME IS WOMAN

See the article below from The Wise Geek which asks the question "Is clothing for women getting bigger?" Also, CLICK HERE to read my blog "I Don't Take A Good Picture."

My wedding gown is marked "size 10". It was from Lazarus and it was expensive even though it came from the sale rack. It is satin with Alencon lace with empire waist, covered buttons, petticoat and a cathedral train. Recently, I took my gown from storage for a "size 4" person to try on as she was interested in borrowing it for her wedding (she was interested in a "retro" wedding!) I assumed it would need to be "taken in", but alas. it is TOO SMALL for her! I know that I was NOT as small as this person but our builds are totally different; I've always had large ta-tas (as evidenced from my wedding picture) and the girl is practically flat-chested, but the dress is too small in the waist and bodice for her. The peau de soie shoes I wore on my wedding day are clearly marked "size 6" and although I can still get my feet into them, they are very cramped, but today, I must get size 7 1/2 and sometimes 8; of course, depending on the brand and cost!

I've known for a long time that expensive clothes are made bigger than less costly clothes of the same size. I suspect that it is Psychology 101-- that women who can afford expensive clothes want to have smaller "sizes" to make them feel better-- and designers accommodate that!

In the back of my closet I have "meaningful and celebratory clothes"; e.g.: the outfit I wore on my first date with Gerald; the sweater from my high school graduation picture; my dress from a high-school banquet before the prom, as I didn't go to the prom; my first Pendleton jacket; my first cashmere sweater; an outfit I wore at IH; an outfit I wore at Rockwell; and clothes I wore in other pictures. I don't know why I keep them because I'm pretty sure I'll never--or probably want to--wear them again! Some of them are egregious "fashion faux pas"! I don't think I want to examine very closely WHY I've kept them or I might become very sad!

When my sister-in-law Carol came to the United States from Korea in 1968, she was a "size 4"; I remember taking her shopping and it was almost impossible to find clothes for her in the "grown-up" section rather than the kids' section. I imagine that size 4 of yesteryear would be size "00" today!

From The Wise Geek: IS CLOTHING FOR WOMEN GETTING BIGGER?

Women's clothing is significantly wider at the waist than clothes marked
the same size were during the 1970s.

Women’s clothing has gotten bigger, with labeled sizes now having larger
measurements. For example, in 2012, size 14 women's trousers in the United
Kingdom measured about 4 inches (10.16 cm) larger at the waist than the
same size did during the 1970s.

This practice, referred to as "vanitysizing" or "size inflation," also has occurred
in the US. Dresses labeled a size 0 in 2006 were found to be roughly equivalent
to a size 8 from the 1950s. Brands that make the physical measurements of
women’s clothing bigger but keep the label size the same have been more likely
to increase self-esteem in customers, making them more likely to purchase from
that brand.

I believe the moral of this article is: VANITY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!

INTERNATIONAL PEOPLE OF MYSTERY

I have a couple of people in my life who are always mysterious and make me "dig" for information. It's not that I even care about the information they are imparting; it's just the fact that both have to "beat around the bush", before "revealing" what they obviously wanted me to know in the first place.

A friend tells me I am "blunt"; I prefer the word "direct"! That friend tells me that the mysterious ones "obviously enjoy drama". My husband says I am accustomed to quick wit and "verbal shorthand" and repartee of family and friends. I told him, "No, I just want people to answer the damned questions I ask and not who shot John and forty-eleven other things!" He says I sound like Judge Judy!

I can't understand it when people can't get to the point! Why do they belabor? Yesterday, I asked a simple question, "What is she going to do with them?" Finally, after a long-winded ad nauseam preface which included how she knew the person, who the person was related to whom she knew, where the person lived, all of which had nothing to do with my simple inquiry, I finally screaked, "What the Hell is she going to do with them?" Only then did I have the answer which contained seven words, which is all that I really wanted to know!

Recently, one was bragging about being "out west". I believe that in a normal conversation, one would ask why the other person was "out west", but when I did that, I was greeted with a furtive response which just irritated me. I asked, "Do you think you're Austin Powers, The International Man Of Mystery? I think the sarcasm was lost on him! Why tell me about being somewhere if he didn't want me to know "the rest of the story"? Should adults be forced to play "20 Questions"?

Why do they make me "pry" for information? Why do they feel compelled to shroud everything in mystery? Today one of the two said mysteriously that she couldn't meet with me because she had to be somewhere else. WHERE? I didn't care; I didn't take the bait this time. I've decided that will be my tack in the future; I'll just ignore the drama!

If they don't want me to know, why broach the subject in the first place?