"I'M A LIVER!"

Once again, Gerald was lost in a stream-of-consciousness dialogue between Les and me.

Les and I were busy fixing liver for my brother Duke's birthday dinner. Les didn't want to touch the liver--his excuse is that he has a cold--but I know from prior preparing of liver that he just doesn't want to touch it! As I was dipping the liver in flour I said, "I can't fix liver without thinking of Portnoy's Complaint." Les said, "I wouldn't mention that liver connection at dinner!"

I said, "It reminds me of Goodbye, Columbus." Les said, "I don't remember any similarity." I said, "Well, Philip Roth wrote both of them and Richard Benjamin starred in both, and it was the so-called Jew-Wave in literature at that time; you know, Roth, Bruce Jay Friedman, and of course, Salinger." Les quipped, "I guess Roth and Benjamin were the Jews du jour!"

I told him that my favorite scene in the movie Goodbye, Columbus was when Brenda exclaimed, "I'm a liver." (meaning that she wanted to LIVE) and Richard Benjamin deadpanned, "I'm a pancreas."

Les said, "We should've made apple pie for dessert." I said, "EWWWW, like American Pie?" Les asked, "You actually saw that?" "Oh, you know how I like those rite-of-passage movies!"

Les said, "I wouldn't mention apple pie at dinner either or any other strange food fetishes!"

Gerald walked in just as Les was singing: "Hello world, goodbye Columbus, I got a feeling that you're going to hear from us!"

He asked what we were talking about, but when we started to explain about liver and apple pie, I could tell he was confused and then relieved when I said, "I'll just write about it!"