I CAN'T FATHOM

I can't fathom why people bring children--especially babies--to funerals and weddings. The children invariably cry out--with those shrill, ear-piercing voices--disrupting the service. At weddings, I offer bets to whomever is sitting next to me that some screamer will ruin the ceremony.

I'm fully aware that some people cannot afford baby-sitters, but I also believe that the bride and groom could offer child care or that they could arrange for someone to volunteer. I have actually volunteered to baby-sit at two weddings.

When children becomes disruptive the parents should immediately take them from the room. All funeral homes and churches have other rooms which can be used.

At the last funeral I attended there were eight toddlers and three babies present. During the ceremony the toddlers scampered about unattended and the babies cried at different times during the funeral. I remarked to my husband that if I owned a funeral home or wedding chapel, I would provide baby-sitting services.

I know that some people disagree with me about the appropriateness of exposing children to funerals: the practice of bodies in caskets for "viewing" is bizarre to me and I think it's a sight that children should not see. Weeping and other behavior should not be seen/heard by children, because they are too young to comprehend emotion and grief. One woman had to be helped away from the casket, supported by a person on each side as she was weeping uncontrollably. My brother recently told me how creepy it was that he, at four years of age, was lifted up to view our grandmother in her casket. My brothers and I are adamant about closed caskets.