LOVER'S QUARREL

In yesterday's newspaper there was a headline story entitled "Lover's quarrel" results in three-vehicle accident (see here). A fifty-six-year-old woman had rammed her ex-husband's vehicle.

Les asked, "Do you believe this?" I said, "Let me tell you about a lover's quarrel!"

In 1968, after I began dating Gerald, a sister of my sister-in-law began dating a guy with whom she worked. My sister-in-law was really thrilled that her sister was dating "such a nice guy" from a "well-to-do family"; his mother was a teacher and his father was a "big farmer" and he had a Corvette and he dressed very well.

Gerald came from a poor family; he was driving a 1959 Chrysler; he had just gotten out of the Navy and he had returned to work at Pennington Bread where he'd worked before the Navy; and I was making more money than he.

I had gone to school with the sister of my sister-in-law and my mother was irritated every time my sister-in-law would start to "brag" about her sister's new boyfriend, because my mother felt my sister-in-law was comparing Gerald unfavorably to the "dreamboat" her sister was dating.

During this time, I rode to work with a woman who was a single mother with four children. I'd known her quite awhile before I began dating Gerald and every morning she would have some story of tribulation to relate about her long-time boyfriend. He was a "mama's boy"; he was a "spoiled brat"; he "drank like a fish"; he "lived at home with Mommy and Daddy"; he kept "putting off getting married"; he worked "half the time"; the only reason he worked was "to have insurance"; he "couldn't afford" to take her places, but he drove a Corvette.

It was obvious to me that he just used her for sex and no intention of any serious relationship and I would ask her why she tolerated his behavior. She said, "I'm going to marry him because his family has money and I don't want to be working like this forever." At least she was honest. I told her the old saying, "If you marry for money, you'll earn every penny", but that didn't deter her.

One morning she told me, "I know he's cheating on me and it's with some girl from work and I'm going to catch him!" I asked, "How are you going to do that?" She told me that she knew where she lived and she was going to follow him. I asked, "Won't he recognize your car?" She said, "He doesn't pay any attention; he's too busy having a beer." I couldn't believe he drove while drinking.

The next morning she picked me up and she was driving a different vehicle. I asked, "Where's your car?" She said that she'd followed her boyfriend and that she had rammed her vehicle into his Corvette. I screamed, "Oh my God, was he in it?" She answered, "No, he and that bitch were just walking out of her house." I asked, "Didn't they call the cops?" She said, "No, I got out of the car and beat her up and she didn't land a punch!" I was incredulous, but I asked again, "They didn't call the cops?" She said, "No, her sister even gave him a ride back home!"

Of course, my friend forgave him and resumed her relationship with him. (Why did I write "of course"? I filed that story under the title "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH WOMEN?") He quit his job because he didn't have the courage to face the "other" woman.

When my sister-in-law began to relate a story about what had happened to her sister and her relationship with the formerly perfect boyfriend, it was the first time that I realized that the lying, cheating, lazy, Corvette-driving cheapskate who was my friend's boyfriend, was the very same guy my sister-in-law had been telling about as her sister's boyfriend.

To this day, it is difficult to believe the story, but both accounts are a near-match. I had to tell my friend that she had assaulted the sister of my sister-in-law. I can't believe there were no charges pressed, but as my sister-in-law said, "She's too embarrassed."