I'D RATHER BE DRIVING MY MASERATI

My brother says that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who put bumper stickers on their cars and those who don't.

Last year there were bets among my family and friends about how long it would take for me to have bumper stickers on my new car.

The winner chose "less than a week".

The only car I have not adorned with bumper stickers is the Corvette, although I did want to have a bumper sticker made to put on the Corvette proclaiming: "I'd rather be driving my Maserati", which was a gibe at those vainglorious Corvette owners who place stickers on their other vehicles proclaiming, "I'd rather be driving my Corvette." See the license plate holder which Gerald thought was a better idea, but of course I wouldn't have that on my car either!

The Facebook message from my friend Mona Lisa states: They asked why I don't have tattoos. So I told them, "Do you see a Ferrari with bumper stickers?"