IF I MUST EXPLAIN A JOKE.....

If I must explain a joke, I know that it hasn't been any good.

Today, as part of my yearly physical, I met with a nutritionist and she said that a good tip for maintaining portion control at meals is to use a smaller plate.

I said, "I usually just use one of my chargers."

I saw the blank look on her face and I realized that I had to explain my joke.

I have several sets of chargers which include green ones for Saint Patrick's Day dinner, red ones for Christmas dinner, and silver ones which I use quite often for other dinners.

I also met with a young exercise specialist who had strawberry-blonde hair and fair skin. He introduced me to a woman he was training. He asked if I had any exercise equipment in my home and I said that I had weights and a clothes hanger. (I guess the treadmill/clothes hanger is a pretty common occurrence because he laughed.)

He said that along with my water aerobics, it would be a good idea to introduce weights into my exercise regimen. I quipped, "I'm pretty strong; want to feel my muscles?" and I lifted up my arm for him to feel my forearm. He actually giggled and he began blushing, turning scarlet from his neck to his forehead. He said he wasn't allowed to touch the patients, only advise them. I turned to the young woman and said, "I must be losing my edge; that's the first time a man ever refused that invitation." She joined me in laughter. I guess it was a "female thing".