HAVE WENT

I came home after spending eleven hours with a group of people.

An ensuing conversation between my brother and me: 

He asked, "So, how did it go?"

I answered, "I was ready to scream!  A supposedly educated guy said 'HAVE WENT' four times."

He asked, "Did you behave yourself?"

I said, "Well, it obviously didn't do any good for me to say 'HAVE GONE' after him!"  

He laughed and said, "Oh you passive-aggressive phony;  please tell me you didn't do THAT!"

Embarrassed, I said, "Yes, I did."

He said, "But you hate it when people do that!"

I answered, "But I didn't scream!"