MENDELSSOHN'S FOURTH

I was invited to a birthday party for an elderly woman whom I did not know. When I asked the host why I was being invited, I was told it was because I know more about "culture" than any other people he knows and the woman is a renowned music teacher, performer, and educated individual. My brother quipped, "So why is it that YOU were invited?" Then he laughed and said, "It's probably because you're OLD too!"

I liked the woman immediately because she cussed like a sailor; drank wine as if it there were no tomorrow; and had a couple of Manhattans. I hate it when I have had a good first impression and then learn how very wrong my opinion was!

After the perfunctory getting-to know-you questions: where do you live; how are you friends with the host; how long have you known the host; have you lived here all your life; what kind of work do you do? After hearing my background I'm sure she thought she was dealing with a dolt! The host mentioned that classical music had been played at my birthday party and that piqued her interest.

However, when she learned that I do not play any musical instrument, but am knowledgeable about classical music, the woman asked me, in a patronizing tone, what my favorite piece of music is, and I answered "Mendelssohn's Fourth Symphony." She answered, haughtily, "Mendelssohn didn't write any symphonies; he wrote concertos." I said, "Funny thing, he wrote at least FOUR symphonies because the FOURTH is my favorite." I explained to her that the Mendelssohn Third is known as the "Scottish Symphony" and the Fourth is known as the "Italian Symphony". She was clearly irritated by my certitude and said, very testily, "I think I know more about music than YOU." I answered, "And I obviously know more about Mendelssohn than YOU do." Clearly irritated, she said, in a very dismissive tone, "He was Jewish." I said, "Yes, so am I." The look on her face was priceless.

I went home, got my CD of a combination of Mendelssohn's FOURTH and FIFTH Symphonies, returned, and handed it to her and said, "Happy Birthday!" I said, "His FIFTH is better than a fifth of whiskey!"

As I wrote, I hate it when I'm wrong about people! She doesn't like me and I don't like her.