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Saturday, July 22, 2017

FAIR FOOD

I love Fair Food!

Yes, give me the roasted corn, Bloomin' Onions, funnel cakes, elephant ears, Polish Sausage sandwiches, fare at St. Colman's, Pork Producers, and Cattlemen's Association, but this year I have fallen in love with POTATO ON A STICK! I ate something similar last year, with the potato deep fried like French fries, curled and served on a plate, but this year the potatoes are served on a skewer. The concessionaire drills a hole through the potato and puts it on a stick and fries it.

The girls in the picture, Elizabeth and Brittany, were walking through the building where our booth is located, showing the potato on a stick, trying to create business, and I asked them to bring one back to me, which they promptly did.

Elizabeth returned and said that she had been reported by another vendor for soliciting business which is against the rules of the Fair. What an assault on their entrepreneurial spirit!

The girls are from North Carolina, moved to Zanesville, where Elizabeth's mother and step-father started the concession business, working at county fairs.

Good luck to them!

Friday, July 21, 2017

SPOONERISMS

After reading about malaphors, I was reminded of several examples of what I termed spoonerisms, but I could have assigned the term "malaphor" to some of them.

See my Sue's News article written in 2011 titled SPOONERISMS:

SPOONERISM:  an error in speech in which corresponding consonants, vowels or morphemes are switched (see metathesis).  The condition was named after the Reverend William Archibald Spooner, a British cleric, scholar and professor. Though these examples might be apocryphal, he was attributed to have uttered:  "a blushing crow" (for "a crushing blow"), "you've tasted two worms" (for "you've wasted two terms"); and when giving a toast to "our queer old dean" (for "our dear old Queen").

When Steve Forbes was running for President, he said, "The stack is decked."  when he meant to say "The deck is stacked."

My friend Patty's husband Chuck has some classic ones:

"Wibel and Orbel White" for Wilbur and Orville Wright
"Fee fries" for French fries
"Sank Franatra" for Frank Sinatra

My sister-in-law Kay was also known for her Spoonerisms. My brother Bode was always cute with his answers and had a large collection of retorts if the answer to a question was an obvious "Yes". He would invariably answer, "Is the Pope Catholic?" or "Was Attila The Hun naughty?" or "Does the bear shit in the woods?"

One day Kay, thinking she could also be cute, answered, "Does the Pope poop on the pulpit?"

Another time Bode asked Kay to call the hardware store to see if they had the size of "steel drill bits" he needed. Kay asked them if they had "Strill dill bites"!


Thursday, July 20, 2017

MALAPHORS

From Grammarphobia, one of my favorite sites:


A malaphor is a merging of two aphorisms, idioms, or cliches;  a blend of the words malapropism and metaphor.  The word "malaphor" was coined by Lawrence Harrison in his 1976 Washington Post article Searching For Metaphors.  one example:  "That's just the way the cookie bounces." 

Look at some of these funny, silly, and absurd examples of malaphors which is also known as  "idiom blend":

"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it."

"You hit the nail right on the nose.", a blend of "You hit the nail right on the head" and "That's right on the nose."

"She really stuck her neck out on a limb."  ("stuck neck out/went out on a limb)

"I can't make these split minute decisions."  (split-second/last-minute)

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

STRAWBERRY WHIPPED CREAM CAKE

For my birthday I usually have one of two cakes: either my mother's recipe for Coconut Cake or a Strawberry Whipped Cream Cake; four years ago, I served both;   last year was the coconut cake; this year the Strawberry Whipped Cream Cake is planned.  My brother Les made the piece de resistance in the photograph below:

Christy Cooper, a woman who worked for me, first made the Strawberry Whipped Cream Cake in 1997 for my birthday and people were literally licking the cake plate.

Christy had a thriving business making cakes; however, I was surprised to learn she used cake mixes.




STRAWBERRY WHIPPED CREAM CAKE RECIPE

THE CAKE

Preheat oven to 325 degrees

1 10-inch cake pan, greased and floured

1 Duncan Hines white cake mix
1/4 cup flour
3 egg whites
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1/4 cup Crisco oil
1 1/3 cups water
Mix together, using package directions. Bake at 325 degrees for 50-60 minutes until done (springs back to touch, toothpick inserted comes out clean; cake comes away clean from pan)

FILLING/ICING

1 quart + 1/2 pint heavy whipping cream
8 tablespoons powdered sugar
8 tablespoons piping gel (Christy used clear; Les uses red to make it pink)
2 teaspoons clear vanilla

Beat whipping cream and sugar together until it forms a soft peak. Add piping gel and vanilla. Beat until a soft peak.
Divide into two portions.

To one portion add 4 cups of fresh, sliced, strawberries.

Slice cake in the center and place on cake plate. Spread strawberry cream mixture on the cake.

Place other layer on top. Spread remainder of whipped cream icing on the top and sides of cake.

Refrigerate before and after serving.

TIP from my mother: Put mixing bowl, beaters and spatula in freezer an hour prior to making the whipped cream, especially in hot and humid times; it helps to keep the whipped cream firm.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

MUTUAL FRIENDS

I seldom check the names of the "mutual friends" on the postings of other "Facebook friends".  

Today, I answered my doorbell and standing there was a friend whom I hadn't seen in more than a year.  She handed a gift bag to me and said, "Happy early birthday."  I said, "How did you know?"  She said, "You're my Facebook friend."

There was a book inside the bag--Wonder Girl:  The Magnificent and Sporting Life of Babe Dedrickson Zaharias.  Stunned, I asked, "How on earth did you know I would like this?"  She replied, "Well, DUH! You wrote about it!"  I said, "But I didn't write about it on Facebook or my blog."  She answered,  "You commented on our mutual friend's page that Babe would have been treated the same way as Serena if the internet had been around when she was a star!"  

I said, "WOW! This is wonderful!  You shouldn't have done this."

She answered, "I got it at The Dollar Tree for a buck and besides, you've always been generous to me and I remember you wrote about how your friend and you like to brag about how cheap you've gotten something!"

You never know who is reading!

Monday, July 17, 2017

A BLESSING AND A CURSE

In yesterday's blog article I  referenced my recalling the clock number of a worker.  Read this Sue's News article from 2013:

A good memory is sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse.

Awhile back, Gerald and I were shopping and I saw one of my former workers and the worker yelled, "Suzy Jo!" I responded, "Ronnie Jo!" Of course my name is not "Jo" and neither is Ronnie's.  It was from an old "inside" joke from work because we had had a woman named "Jo" come into the department and Ronnie had to train her to take his place.  She was given three days to learn the job but she could not grasp the sequence of elements of the job. The second day, Jo brought a piece of chalk and tried to mark the panel to show the sequence but the chalk rubbed off; next, she returned from break with a piece of cardboard and took string and attached it to the control panel and had written down the sequence but each time she would forget to weld or forget to push the buttons in the correct sequence.  Ronnie would have to run and catch up her errors.

On the third day Ronnie told Jo just to stand there and let me disqualify her. She said, "No, I can learn this job." I thought, "Oh, Hell, I don't want another fight about a disqualification!" Ronnie put in a call for the Steward and said, "My three days of Hell must end!" After talking to Ronnie, the Steward came to me and I told him he needed to talk to Jo to accept the disqualification. The Steward replied, "You know I have to represent her too; it'll just look like he wants to stay in the Department and you're favoring him." I took out my documentation to show him that she had made absolutely no progress in learning the job and it was my judgment and not Ronnie's. With fifteen minutes left on the shift, I called the Steward back and disqualified Jo, and fortunately, she did not fight it.

After that, if anyone in the crew made a mistake, he was immediately branded "JO"! There was David Jo, Roger Jo, etc.

That day at the Mall, Ronnie started to introduce me to his wife and I said, "It's Judy, isn't it?" Ronnie let out a joyful yelp and said, "Tell her my clock number!" I said, "14399."  I continued, "Your wedding anniversary is June 19." Judy asked, "Oh, my God! How do you know that?" I said, "Well, that's OUR wedding anniversary too!" Ronnie said, "I told Judy you never forget anything!" I said, "I can't remember logarithms but I can remember clock numbers." It also helped that Ronnie was one of my all-time favorite workers and I would be more inclined to recall things about him.

Gerald was standing by, very amused, and he told them the reason he married me was because I could keep all of his nieces and nephews names straight!

Later, telling this story at home, Les remarked, "You're lucky he was STILL married to the same woman!"