Friday, September 30, 2011


My friend Bobbi saw an ad in the newspaper for an hypnosis event. It promised cures for a great number of problems including weight loss and smoking cessation. As I am always up for an "adventure", I agreed to go with her to cure my lifelong problem: I'm a grown woman who is afraid of the dark; there's always a light on in my house and there's always a light outside. Once my brother Bode was visiting and he was the last one to go to bed and he turned off all of the lights as he did in his home. When I awoke there was no light visible under the door from the hallway and there was no moon visible out the window. I pounded on Gerald to wake up and he turned on a light inside the closet.

Although I was willing to try, I'm a skeptic and I told Bobbi, "From that ad I half-expect we'll have world peace."

The event was held in a church basement. One person wanted to stop smoking, one had claustrophobia, another was afraid to fly but most wanted to lose weight. I sheepishly cofessed that I was afraid of the dark. The hypnotist began his routine but I could feel no sensation of "going under". We were supposed to keep our eyes closed but I admit I was peeking sidelong glances and I could see the others in the class swaying.

Suddenly the church bells rang and I jumped out of my seat. The hypnotist told me that some people can't/won't be put under hypnosis. All the others in the class remained in their seats and continued swaying as the hypnotist's voice quietly told them, "You're in a deep, deep sleep." In a few minutes he would bring one of them awake and have the person perform some comical act and he would tell them that whatever the problem was, the hypnosis would cure it.

Well, Bobbi didn't lose any weight, we don't have world peace and I'm still afraid of the dark.

Thursday, September 29, 2011


I used to ride to work with my friend and every day I would hear about her myriad of problems during the rides to and from work. She suspected that her boyfriend was two-timing her and one day day she said, "Let's go see Rosie after work." I asked who that was and she said, "The fortune teller."

As I say, I'm always up for an "adventure"!

We went to Rosie's and she performed her "reading" in the living room. Rosie told me that I could wait in the kitchen. On the table in the kitchen was a chicken inside a cage. In my life, I have never seen such a filthy place. I was afraid to sit down and just stood, trying to eavesdrop on my friend's session.

At that time I had never even had a date in my life, but during my session Rosie told me that I would meet a wonderful man, be very happily married, live in two different houses and that I would have a good life although I would have no children of my own but would be very influential in a number of children's lives.

In the car, we compared stories and Rosie had told my friend that the boyfriend was cheating on her and that information propelled her to stalk him to learn his other activities.

I laughed about the predictions, but two months later, I had a date with Gerald.

After Gerald and I were married, both he and I were working two jobs to save for the down payment on our house. I worked at Mead and Steele Data Processing and Gerald worked at International Harvester and at my cousin's gas station.

One evening, I was at the gas station waiting for Gerald to close up and he had lost the keys to the station! We looked everywhere we could think of and Paul, a friend of Gerald's from work, dropped by to visit. Paul said, "I'll call Rosie." Gerald said, "I don't believe in that stuff." Paul went ahead and called Rosie. Rosie said that she could see the keys but they weren't inside the station and they weren't outside the station. Gerald said, "That's crazy!" Rosie kept describing the location and she said that she could see bottles in boxes.

At that time there was a Coke machine outside the station and there were racks to hold the empty bottles.

Gerald went to look around the Coke machine and he found the keys; the keys were in a metal protrusion on the foundation on the front of the station, behind the boxes of empty bottles. Gerald had obviously dropped the keys there when he was filling the Coke machine.

They weren't INSIDE the station and they weren't OUTSIDE the station!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011


I wrote the article "WHAT'S IN A NAME" last year and I mentioned a family where all of the siblings--and their father--had the initials JEP; one of my comments was that I bet the mother had a difficult time finding the middle names starting with "E". Today I was soliciting signatures for a petition and one of the people wrote "Jean E."-- and with the last name starting with "P"--the same as that family. I thought, "This is just too much of a coincidence; she looks old enough to be one of them but I don't remember all of the younger ones' names." I asked, "Did you grow up on Lewis Road?" She looked stunned and said that she had and when I asked if she were a member of the family with all the siblings having JEP as their initials, she asked, in astonishment, "How do you know that?" I told her that I'd gone to school with her brother Jon and that Gerald had gone to school with her sister Jane and my brothers had gone to school with Jim, Jerry, Jackie, Jay and Joey. As I rattled off all those names, she said she couldn't believe that I could remember all of them.

I told her several stories about her family members, including about her brother Joey falling out of a truck and when they took him to the hospital, his head was shaved and after that, his nickname was "Baldy" and about her sister Jackie because she was called "Orange Hair" (yes, her hair was orange!).

I learned that Jean is 18 years younger than I and she told me how delighted she was to know things about her older siblings. She said that she was touched that I would remember and write about them and asked me to give her the article.

This is for you, Jean!


Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Yesterday, Gerald and I were sharing the bathroom because we were rushing to get ready for an event. We rarely share the bathroom because we are rarely in a hurry! As my brother Norman says, "When you're retired, every day is Sunday!"

The height adjustment for the shower head is on the right side and I want to have it set to my desired setting before getting into the shower. It is very inconvenient for me to make the adjustment from outside the tub because it's on the opposite side and it's up high and dammit, I'm short.

I was whining about the inconvenience and Gerald said, "Why don't you set it WHEN you get in instead of when you're on the outside?" I said, "Because I want the water to be at my desired temperature BEFORE I get in the tub!" He made the "WAAAANNNNHHHH" sound to let me know once again that I was being a whiny, complaining baby!

Today as I began my shower routine, the adjustment knob was on the LEFT side.

That's WHY I love my husband! My mother always loved the song "Little Things Mean A Lot". It's so true!

Monday, September 26, 2011

HB 194

Someone asked me recently why I cared so much about the Repeal of HB 194 (Ohio House Of Representatives Bill 194 which is the Voter Suppression Bill). I told about my friend Charles.

I have taken Charles to vote for years because he needs assistance to vote as he has difficulty reading. Although I did not know it at the time, I later learned that one of the poll workers is the spouse of one of the Deputies at the Board of Elections. When Charles got his sticker "I Voted Today!" he proudly put it on his jacket. He told the poll workers, "I'll never miss voting because before I came to Ohio I wasn't allowed to vote." One of the workers asked why he hadn't been allowed to vote and he told him that where he grew up they had a poll tax and as they were poor they couldn't pay the tax. I could see the shocked look on the faces of the poll workers as that must have seemed like ancient history to them.

The next time I was at the Board of Elections the Deputy told me that her husband had come home from working at the poll and he had tears in his eyes as he told her of meeting an elderly man who told how much it meant for him to vote because he hadn't been allowed to vote before he moved to Ohio. She told me that she asked him the voter's name and when he said Charles' name, she said she told him that she knew that he was my friend because I'd taken him to the Board of Elections to vote when he first moved into town and he'd told them the same story.

When I read that the Ohio House Of Representatives wanted to take away voting rights, I was incensed. I said to my brother, "Lyndon Johnson would turn over in his grave!"

When Jennifer Brunner was our Secretary of State she enacted policies to make it EASIER to vote with early voting, Motor Voter, and lifting of restrictions on absentee voting.

As the assault on voting rights is happening in numerous states we realize that it is a concerted effort to keep old people, young people, disabled people and poor people from voting!

Sign the petition to keep this from happening in Ohio!

Sunday, September 25, 2011


Today in Kroger a young woman was pushing her cart and there was a little girl in the seat; the woman was singing to the toddler "You Are My Sunshine". It was a very tender scene and I said, "My mother sang that to me when I was a little girl." The little girl asked, "Do you want to sing with us?" I said, "Of course!" We sang the first verse and at the second verse, when we got to the word "mistaken" I sang "mittaken". The girl looked at me and I said, "When my brother was little he had trouble with his S's and he sang "mittaken" so I always sing it that way!"

The little girl said, "Mittake is a mistake--that's funny!" I love quick-witted little kids!

When I was a youngster, we had the 78 RPM record by Jimmie Davis who had been the Governor of Louisiana. I thought that Davis wrote the song but it appears that Davis bought the rights and used it as his campaign song.

Saturday, September 24, 2011


There were no parking places available near to the place where I was going. Across the street from my destination is a building which houses an insurance agent and a non-profit organization. There are parking places in front of the building and behind the building. All of those spaces were taken. I parked in the rear of the building and got out of my car.

When I got out of my car, the insurance agent was bidding a customer good-bye. The customer was parked beside me. The agent said to me, "You can't park here." I asked, "Why not?" I told him, very nicely, that I had parked there numerous times in the past, and with a sweeping motion of my arm, gestured that there were plenty of parking places and said, "I doubt that you're THAT busy!" He said, very snidely, "Do you work here?" I answered, equally snotty, "No, do you?" He responded, "If you don't work here, you can't park here!" I continued, "You don't OWN the place and you don't have it posted NO TRESPASSING, so I can park here!" [Yes, I recognize that a smart-mouth isn't always the wisest course!]

He told me he would have my car towed.

As I got into my car, I had the top down and I said, "And I'm going to tell every person I know to boycott you!" He gave a derisive laugh which of course, infuriated me! I said, "You obviously do not know the power of Facebook!" I drove around to the front of the building and there was a parking space available then.

I parked, went inside and picked up a business card and said, "When I put it on the internet I want to be sure to spell your name correctly!" I left, slamming the door behind me!

When I went home and told Les about it, he said, "You know you shouldn't go through with that threat." I answered, "Nah, I'm not going to follow through but it felt good to say it." Les said, "The poor guy is probably still in shock from being threatened by an old woman!"

Friday, September 23, 2011


An acquaintance of mine went to school with my youngest brother and she always asks about him whenever I see her. I have known her since 2004. She is a loud, obnoxious person but I try to be civil to her.

Yesterday, for the FIFTH time since I've known her, she brought up this story: when she and my brother were in grade school they drew names for a Christmas exchange and my brother had her name. The limit for the exchange presents was $1.00 My brother's gift to her was a bottle of "Evening In Paris" toilet water. She always tells the story in great detail and dramatically tells of her embarrassment and humiliation because of receiving toilet water. She even said that she couldn't believe a parent would have allowed a child to give it! Since the first time of hearing her tell the story, I have allowed her to prattle without comment, but wondered what her purpose was in telling the story if not to cause me embarrassment. As I believe that nobody can embarrass me EXCEPT myself, her purpose is not successful.

Two years ago we were attending an event and the woman sat down at our table without asking if we were expecting others to sit with us. [Did I already mention she's presumptuous?] Someone at the table mentioned that the food there could not compete with my brother's cooking. Before I could respond, the woman interrupted and began telling the toilet water story. [Did I already mention she has bad manners?] A good friend who was sitting next to me listened to the story and then commented, "Too bad you didn't keep that bottle; it's selling on E-Bay for $50.00!" She didn't know that she'd been put down. [Did I already mention that she's dense?] When we went through the buffet line our friends said they were going to sit at another table because the woman was, to use the friend's word, "insufferable"! At the table, I said to our friend, "FIFTY dollars?" He laughed and said, "Well, maybe $10.00!"

Last year, at another gathering, she brought up the story again. After her telling the story, another friend said, "It's too bad you didn't know about the strengths of fragrances or you would really have appreciated it." She looked dumfounded and then asked what that meant and the friend explained that perfume had the greatest strength and then eau de toilette--toilet water--was the next in strength and cologne had the least strength. The friend continued, "You were lucky to get the eau de toilette because it's costlier than cologne." She said she didn't know that eau de toilette was toilet water. [Did I already mention she's dumb?] The friend continued, "In French, toilette doesn't mean a commode!" I don't think she realized that she had been put down again.

When she told the story AGAIN last night another friend asked, "Did you write a thank-you card for such a nice present?"

With friends like these I don't even need to comment to her.

Today, when I told my brother about it he said, "It's sad that she can't find anything else to talk about!" He continued, "And, by the way, it was YOU who bought "Evening In Paris" for me to give to her." I said, "Well, if she tells it again that will be my coup de grace to tell her that!" He said, "You know that'll be the same as saying eau de toilette to her!"

Thursday, September 22, 2011


I have a friend who is retired but wants to work part-time; she answered a want-ad for a position of assistant to a church secretary. She is overly qualified for such a position, but as she just wants a part-time job, it should not matter. She sent her resume and was called for an interview. She said that anyone could tell from her resume that she is Roman Catholic because of all the educational information tied to Catholicism. She was scheduled to be interviewed by the pastor, the church secretary and the head of the church Board. She thought that was a bit of overkill for a little part-time job.

The interview from the pastor and church secretary went very well and then the Board member began his portion of the interview with the question, "Since you're Catholic, I wonder how you would be able to work with Christians?"

Because of that question, my friend immediately knew that she had no chance to be hired for the position and decided that the ignoramus deserved a history lesson about Christianity! She proceeded to tell him that underneath the Holy Father's chair at the Vatican rest the bones of St. Peter, the FIRST Pope, and that her church was the FIRST church in Christianity! She continued telling him about the Protestant Reformation and Martin Luther, the Great Schism, Henry VIII and told him that his denomination was formed at least 1,800 years AFTER hers! She said she then stood up, shook hands with the pastor and secretary, thanked them, and walked out.

The pastor called her later to apologize for the other man's behavior.

She received a formal letter stating they'd employed someone "more qualified" for the job!

"There is no worse sight than ignorance in action"--Victor Hugo

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


At a recent training session, the instructor, in the opening sentence clearly said "pacific" when it was obvious that the correct word should've been "specific". I thought it was a slip of the tongue, but nevertheless I jotted "PACIFIC?" on my planner. Sitting beside me was my friend Becky who is a retired teacher with thirty years service. I noticed that she had also written "pacific" on her sheet.

The instructor gave us packets and then proceeded to READ the information to us. I wrote on my sheet "Recitation is not teaching!" Becky shook her head in disbelief. Even reading to us as if we were kindergarten age would have been acceptable except the instructor was a poor reader and stumbled over words!

After reading the training materials to us, she then asked if there were any "pacific" questions. I caught a glance from our organization's leader who just rolled her eyes. Another time the instructor said "pacifically" instead of "specifically".

The instructor gave us several additional sheets and told us we could make copies at home for our own use. I marked several errors on the sheets. Becky looked at my sheet and when the instructor asked if there were any questions or comments Becky said, "We'll make copies of this one where Sue has corrected the grammatical errors!" The instructor glared at her but said nothing else.

Milling around after the class, one classmate stated, "No wonder teachers get a bad rap." Later, another classmate asked, "Aren't you glad Becky said something because you're usually the bad guy who corrects people?" [HOW did I get that reputation?]

Bless you, Becky!

What makes me SAD: the instructor is a local SCHOOL TEACHER who was paid to "teach" the class!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


When I hear people railing against the youth of today and about their promiscuity, I reflect on people of my generation and that things have not changed all that much; it was more secretive then.

Once, one of my brothers told me I should not associate with a classmate because she was a "Door Knob." I had never heard the phrase before and when confronted he said, "Every guy has had his turn with her!" I said, "That's terrible; I like her!" She and I were not close friends but we sat together on the school bus and when her brother was killed in an accident; we were on the school bus and we saw that it was her brother in the accident I was the one who held her in my arms. We were 16.

Little did my brother know that the Door Knob was providing me with quite an education. She was "dating" a local guy who was going to college and he came home on the weekends. We were 16 and he was 20. She shared with me his letters to her. From the letters, I could glean that were having SEX! It was the first time that I actually knew someone who "DID IT"! Even though I was living vicariously through her, I also realized that he was just "using" her; they did not have real dates; he was not her "date" for school functions and he didn't take her home to meet the family or take her to any local places. She was just a poor girl being used by someone from a well-known, prosperous family. I was a naive 16-year old who'd never even had a date and in one of his letters he asked if she had any "friends" who might like to meet his brother who was also going to college and was a year younger. I was overwhelmed by emotion when she asked me if I would like to "double" with them. Although I would have loved to have a "date", I knew better than to accept that.

This past summer, I was set up at the Farmers' Market, collecting signatures for a petition, when that same person who'd written those passionate letters years ago, stopped and began denigrating the reason for the petition. He was loud and obnoxious. I stood up and said, "Come over here." Surprisingly, he followed me. When we were out of hearing range of the others, I said, "I remember how you treated (and I named the name of my classmate) and I read all your letters back then, so I know what a manipulative user you are, so just get away from me, you lying hypocrite!"

He had a flushed face which I attributed to his being a W. C. Fields-like drinker. All of my life I have read about "color draining from a face", but this is the first time that I'd actually seen it! He never uttered another word but quickly walked away.

When I went back to the table, my co-solicitor asked, "What was THAT?" I said, "A good memory is sometimes a blessing and sometimes a curse!"

Monday, September 19, 2011


My friend Jenny wrote this on her Facebook page: "5:45 a.m.--perhaps I should just call it a day. I tried to turn the TV up with the remote and nothing happened. Tried several times to no avail. I'm wondering what in the world is wrong with the remote and maybe I should move over a bit and try again. The air conditioner came on; oh, so that's the problem--the AC remote doesn't work on the TV."

I responded:

Gerald wanted to watch a 3D movie on the big screen TV in the family room. As I had no interest in the movie, I went upstairs to watch a DVR recording in our bedroom. There are 4 remotes on the end table in our bedroom.

I recognized the remote for the DISH. I picked it up, hit both buttons to use, just as I do downstairs, and the words "Analog 60" appeared on the screen. I thought, "What the Hell is that?" I looked forlornly at the other 3 remotes and had absolutely no clue how to watch the damned TV!

I went to the intercom and called for Gerald but he could not hear my wailing as the intercom "thingamajig" is located in the utility room. I traipsed downstairs and with a great deal of embarrassment, told him that I couldn't get the TV to work! [After all, we've had the DISH for ONLY 4 years! HOW the Hell was I supposed to know that we don't have the DVR capability on the TV in our bedroom? As I whined that I couldn't watch the DVR recording, Gerald said we could only have the DVR capability on 1 TV downstairs and 1 TV upstairs and he'd had that capability installed in my brother's bedroom as that only seemed fair.] Gerald offered to watch his movie upstairs but I said, plaintively, "No, you should watch the movie downstairs; I'll find something to watch!" Hey, I'm not going to allow anybody to "out-noble" me!


(Usually I do not use the word "thingamajig" but I used it here because I always kid my niece Tracey by saying, "I love it when you talk Hi-Tech!" when she uses the word!)

Sunday, September 18, 2011



At another company, one of the employees, Jim, was called "Lumpy" because he had a great number cysts which were visible on his face and arms. Of course, I never called him Lumpy and he seldom said a word to me and always averted his eyes when I needed to have a conversation with him. One day the Committeman came to me and said, "Lumpy wanted to." I did not let him continue the sentence and said, "You, of all people should not be calling Jim that awful name!" He said, "Aw, he doesn't mind!" I responded, "That's the craziest damned thing I ever heard; how would you like it if I picked out some peculiarity of yours and made fun of it?" I continued, "In fact, you as the Union representative have a legal responsibility to keep that from happening!" He said, "Yes, Mother!" I said, "John, it isn't funny; Jim could sue the Company and the Union for allowing a hostile work environment." I said, "What did Jim want you to ask me?" He answered, "He said he needs some personal time off and he hasn't been here long enough to have any personal time." I asked, "Well, why didn't he just ask me?'' John responded, "He's scared of you!" I said, "Scared? I've always been nice to him!" I handed a request form to John to have Jim complete and return to me. When John returned it to me it was in a sealed envelope and John said, "JIM didn't want to share with me." I said, "That's probably because it's PERSONAL!"

We shut down for 10 days for Christmas and Jim needed time off before Christmas to have an operation on his cysts and have recovery time during the shutdown. Jim had had the cysts since he was a youngster and had never had insurance before to cover the operation. When Jim returned from Christmas shutdown, he came to my office and said, "Hi, Sue." and he looked directly at me. He said, "John told me what you said and I always appreciated that you never called me Lumpy even though other managers did!"

There were just tiny scars where the cysts had been. It was heartrending to see the difference in his demeanor. From then on, every time I was on the manufacturing floor, Jim would speak and actually have a conversation. It was thrilling to see the once painfully-shy person so buoyant with self-confidence. Within a few months, Jim had a girlfriend and in less than a year I attended Jim's wedding! Jim and his wife send Christmas cards and they are blessed with two children.

Saturday, September 17, 2011



One of my employees was known as "Spacey Casie" because she just seemed to be not quite-in-tune with everyone else. On the one hand, she was a very attractive, sweet, generous person but on the other hand, she was quite dense. As her fellow employees commented: "She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer," and "She's one taco short of a combo meal." Her conversations were a stream of non sequiturs.

One day it was brought to my attention that several employees had made mean remarks to another employee who was disfigured. I gave a special assignment, outside the department, to the offended employee and then I gathered the remaining team members together to explain to them that not only was it unprofessional and downright mean to make remarks to their fellow team member, but it was also illegal as it caused a hostile work environment for her.

After I finished my lecture, I asked if there were any questions or comments and only Casie raised her hand to be recognized and she said, "Yes, I think it's awful for people to be mean to her and I told her I know how she feels because I have one calf bigger than the other!" I, along with the group, sat in stunned silence as Casie proceeded to lift her pant legs to show us the difference in her calves. The difference was imperceptible from the distance I was from Casie. As if her first comment weren't bad enough, Casey continued, "I'm always embarrassed to wear a short skirt, so I really know how she feels." No other words were spoken by me as all the team members arose and quietly left the room.


Friday, September 16, 2011



Great information even if you're not at that "Golden Age" yet; I'll bet that you know or work with someone who is!

You must ASK for these discounts!

Applebee’s: 15% off with Golden Apple Card (60+)
Arby’s: 10% off (55+)
Ben & Jerry’s: 10% off (60+)
Bennigan’s: discount varies by location
Boston Market: 10% off (65+)
Burger King: 10% off (60+)
Captain D’s Seafood: discount varies on location (62+)
Chick-Fil-A: 10% off or free small drink or coffee (55+)
Chili’s: 10% off (55+)
CiCi’s Pizza: 10% off (60+)
Denny’s: 10% off, 20% off for AARP members (55+)
Dunkin’ Donuts: 10% off or free coffee (55+)
Einstein’s Bagels: 10% off baker’s dozen of bagels (60+)
Fuddrucker’s: 10% off any senior platter (55+)
Golden Corral: 10% off (60+)
Hardee’s: $0.33 beverages everyday (65+)
IHOP: 10% off (55+)
KFC: free small drink with any meal (55+)
Krispy Kreme: 10% off (50+)
Long John Silver’s: various discounts at participating locations (55+)
McDonald’s: discounts on coffee everyday (55+)
Steak ‘n Shake: 10% off every Monday & Tuesday (50+)
Subway: 10% off (60+)
Taco Bell: 5% off; free beverages for seniors (65+)
TCBY: 10% off (55+)
Waffle House: 10% off every Monday (60+)
Wendy’s: 10% off (55+)
White Castle: 10% off (62+)

Retail and Apparel:
Banana Republic: 10% off (50+)
Big Lots: 10% off
Bon-Ton Department Stores: 15% off on senior discount days (55+)
Dress Barn: 10% off (55+)
Goodwill: 10% off one day a week (date varies by location)
Hallmark: 10% off one day a week (date varies by location)
Kmart: 20% off (50+)
Kohl’s: 15% off (60+)
Rite Aid: 10% off on Tuesdays & 10% off prescriptions
The Salvation Army Thrift Stores: up to 50% off (55+)
Stein Mart: 20% off red dot/clearance items first Monday of every month (55+)

Great Valu Food Store: 5% off every Tuesday (60+)
Kroger: 10% off (date varies by location)

Alaska Airlines: 10% off (65+)
Alamo: up to 25% off for AARP members
American Airlines: various discounts for 65 and up (call before booking for discount)
Amtrak: 15% off (62+)
Avis: up to 25% off for AARP members
Best Western: 10% off (55+)
Budget Rental Cars: 10% off; up to 20% off for AARP members (50+)
Cambria Suites: 20%-30% off (60+)
Clarion: 20%-30% off (60+)
Comfort Inn: 20%-30% off (60+)
Comfort Suites: 20%-30% off (60+)
Continental Airlines: no initiation fee for Continental Presidents Club & special fares for select destinations
Dollar Rent-A-Car: 10% off (50+)
Econo Lodge: 20%-30% off (60+)
Enterprise Rent-A-Car: 5% off for AARP members
Greyhound: 5% off (62+)
Hampton Inns & Suites: 10% off when booked 72 hours in advance
Hertz: up t0 25% off for AARP members
Holiday Inn: 10%-30% off depending on location (62+)
Hyatt Hotels: 25%-50% off (62+)
InterContinental Hotels Group: various discounts at all hotels (65+)
Mainstay Suites: 10% off with Mature Traveler’s Discount (50+); 20%-30% off (60+)
Marriott Hotels: 15% off (62+)
Motel 6: 10% off (60+)
Myrtle Beach Resort: 10% off (55+)
National Rent-A-Car: up to 30% off for AARP members
Quality Inn: 20%-30% off (60+)
Rodeway Inn: 20%-30% off (60+)
Sleep Inn: 20%-30% off (60+)
Southwest Airlines: various discounts for ages 65 and up (call before booking for discount)
Trailways Transportation System: various discounts for ages 50 and up
United Airlines: various discounts for ages 65 and up (call before booking for discount)
U.S. Airways: various discounts for ages 65 and up (call before booking for discount)

Activities & Entertainment:
AMC Theaters: up to 30% off (55+)
Bally Total Fitness: up to $100 off memberships (62+)
Busch Gardens Tampa: $3 off one-day tickets (50+)
Carmike Cinemas: 35% off (65+)
Cinemark/Century Theaters: up to 35% off
U.S. National Parks: $10 lifetime pass; 50% off additional services including camping (62+)
Regal Cinemas: 30% off
Ripley’s Believe it or Not: @ off one-day ticket (55+)
SeaWorld Orlando: $3 off one-day tickets (50+)

Cell Phone Discounts:
AT&T: Special Senior Nation 200 Plan $29.99/month (65+)
Jitterbug: $10/month cell phone service (50+)
Verizon Wireless: Verizon Nationwide 65 Plus Plan $29.99/month (65+)

Great Clips: $3 off hair cuts (60+)
Super Cuts: $2 off haircuts (60+)

Since many senior discounts are not advertised to the public, our advice to men and women over 55 is to ALWAYS ask a sales associate if that store provides a senior discount.

Thursday, September 15, 2011


Corned Beef and Cabbage is one of my favorite meals and we always use a can of corned beef, because that's how Mother always did it. The canned corned beef is entirely different from the corned beef brisket I fix for Saint Patrick's Day. Les and I were always amused that, no matter what brands of canned corned beef I buy (Hormel, Armour, Goya or Libby's, e.g.) they were always labeled "Product of Brazil". We oftentimes wondered if that were the only place which produced canned corned beef.

Last week I put canned corned beef on my grocery list and it was not available locally at Kroger, Community Market, WalMart or Aldi's. I thought that was strange, but I knew we were going to Chillicothe to eat and I told Gerald I'd like to stop at KMart as it's right across the street from Olive Garden. To my surprise, there was no canned corned beef there. We went to Big Lots and Kroger and and there was also none there. I said, "This is unbelievable; I'm going to check on the internet when I get home."

WHO KNEW? There is now a world-wide shortage of canned corned beef because of a recall of the largest supplier from BRAZIL! (CLICK HERE to see the article.)

Who would have thought this would be a major impact? actually now has a WAIT LIST for canned corned beef when it becomes available!

I went to Libby's website and it led me to available stores; I typed in 30-mile radius and it gave the KMart stores in London and Xenia! I called the London store and I was told there was 1 can available on the shelf. I called the Xenia store and they have 8 cans! Yes, I like canned corned beef enough to make the trip and if the expiration date is not too close, I'll buy all of them!

In researching this, I learned the answer to a question I've wondered since childhood: why is canned corned beef in those peculiar-shaped cans?

The cans continue to be made in the traditional tapered rectangular shape, because it's easier to extract the contents in one piece, enabling it to be sliced. The cans also employ the use of a key which enables the user to separate one end of the can and as there's no seam it allows the contents to slide out easily! Les and I always make the "shlurping" sound as it slides from the can!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


A crusty old man walks into a local church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church."

The astonished woman replied, "I beg your pardon, Sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."

The secretary left her desk and went into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agreed that the secretary did not have to listen to that foul language.

They both returned to her desk and the pastor asked the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no damn problem," the man said. "I just won 20 million dollars in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money."

"I see," said the pastor. "And is this bitch giving you a hard time?"

Tuesday, September 13, 2011



A man in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask mumbled to a nurse:

"Nurse, are my testicles black?" The nurse lifted his gown and with one hand lifted his penis and with the other hand lifted his testicles. She looked carefully and said, "Everything is OK, sir."

The man took off his oxygen mask and said, very slowly, "Thanks for that; it was very lovely, but please listen carefully:

Monday, September 12, 2011


Saturday, after our Rummage Sale, I was returning back after delivering a truck load to Goodwill. As I began to turn into the driveway a woman in a car in front of me did not have on a turn signal but turned into the driveway. I slammed on my brakes and she proceeded to the parking lot. As she was in the parking place I needed, I got out of the truck and was about to ask her to move her vehicle when she screamed at me, "Lady you almost cut me off!" I said, "First of all, don't call me lady and second, if you'd had used your turn signal I would have seen your intention!" She said, "You should have seen where I was going!" I said, "That's why cars have turn signals!" She had parked her vehicle in the area where we were going to load. I told her that her car was in my way but she proceeded into the building. Everyone was astounded by her behavior.

One of my colleagues said, "She really does need to go to church!" After the Rummage Sale the church was holding a free dinner and church service. I hope she learned about not blaming others for one's own sins!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Saturday, September 10, 2011


A friend who reads the blog said that I have "Strange Encounters of the Third Kind" but she DOES believe all of the "strange encounters" which lead to blog articles are accurate, because she's been with me on several occasions and has witnessed what she considers "strange" encounters. She said she never has anything interesting happen to her. In our discussion I told her that I was really interested in people and I am very observant and I like interaction. She said that she would never interject herself in a situation as I do and that she guessed she wasn't THAT interested or observant.

I told her I thought my encounters were of "the normal kind"!

Today, in Kroger, in Chillicothe, we were close to the meat department and there was a display of pasta sauce nearby. Two women and a teenager passed by and the teenager knocked a jar from the display and it shattered, splattering sauce on the floor. I saw one of the women shrug and I asked, "Are you going to report that?" That woman asked, "What'd you say?" I answered, "I merely asked if you were going to report this." The other woman came closer and said, "This ain't none of your business." I said, "Yes, it IS as it's a safety hazard." The other woman said, "We was gonna say somethin' when we got up front." I said, "That's OK, I'll just tell them here at the meat department." The woman came toward me and said, "I told ya that it wadn't any of your f---in' business." I went to the meat department and rang the bell. One of the women came closer and said, "F--- you!" I clapped my hands over my ears and exclaimed, "Oh, did you learn that from your mother?" The woman said "I didn't learn nuthin' like that from my mother!" I said, "ANYTHING, you obviously didn't learn ANYTHING from your mother!"

I guess correcting her grammar was not the wisest course of action! The woman THEN suggested that I perform a sexual act which was clearly outside of my gender role and hers! I answered, "I couldn't possibly do that as I am not anatomically equipped!"

A meat department employee came to the counter and I said, "There's a broken jar of pasta sauce on the floor; I thought that you would like to know!" One of the women said to the meat department employee, "We was gone up front to tell 'em and she stuck her nose in and caused all this ruckus."

I said, "There's no ruckus, just a concerned citizen doing her duty!" I turned and strode away, with a wave and said, "Bye, now!"

Gerald just shook his head in disbelief. In the car, I said, "I probably shouldn't have said anything." He answered, "DUH, you think?"

After Kroger, we went to Olive Garden for dinner and it was supposed to be a 25-minute wait. There were at least 20 people in the queue waiting to be seated. I always have a need to be entertained and if that's not possible, then I will entertain! There were four young women sitting together and I asked, "Excuse me, ladies, how long did they tell you it would be?" They said 25 minutes. I said, "In that case, I need your help; will you be a jury of my peers?" Gerald piped up and said, "Take my side!" I presented the case of the "Shattered Pasta Sauce" and asked if they thought I acted appropriately. Gerald told them once again, "Take my side!" The first one said that she was pretty mouthy so she would probably have said something. The second said it would have depended on her mood that day. The third said she was pretty mouthy so she would have spoken up also. The fourth said she was pretty quiet so she wouldn't have said anything. The first one said, "That's why she needs to be with us all the time!" The ladies received their page but thanked me for "entertaining" them while we waited!

When I got home and told the story about the shattered glass, Les asked, "How many times do I have to mention the word GUN to you?"

I swore right then and there that I had indeed learned my lesson and would behave myself in the future!

Friday, September 9, 2011


At lunch yesterday, we were reminiscing about the first day of school and how, when we were kids, we always started school the day after Labor Day and we felt sorry for the kids nowadays starting in the middle of August. Of course, we did not have the snow days and teacher conferences, etc., that cause days to be "made up" now.

I commented that on the first day of school the school bus door would open and I would be overwhelmed by the smell of NEW CLOTHES! I always insisted that my new clothes be washed but the boys always wore their jeans with just the tags removed. One of my classmates always had the legs of his jeans rolled up several times. Others made fun of him behind his back and I always wondered why his father didn't buy jeans the right length. My mother said that he probably couldn't get the right waist/length combination because the guy was, as she said, "husky". Of course, my mother altered the jeans of my brothers if they did not fit but this guy's mother had deserted him and his father ("ran away with another man") and, of course, in those days, a single-parent household was unusual, especially with just a single father. He had no one to "hem them up"! Years later, the classmate and I were reminiscing and he was surprised that I knew about his living conditions. I told him, "My sister-in-law was your baby-sitter when you were young!"

Two years ago at a fund-raising brunch at our home, I had invited the classmate because he said he would like to meet the candidate. My younger brother beckoned for me to come to him and he leaned over and whispered, "I can't believe that you would have him at your house." Stunned, I asked why and he said he would tell me later. After the event, I asked my brother what had caused his animosity toward the classmate as I'd always felt sorry for him because he grew up without a mother. My brothers said they didn't feel sorry for him because we were poor and he wasn't. My brother told me that the guy was a bully, which I had not known. That brother is four years younger than I and I said, "You should have told me; I would've kicked his ass!" My other brother said, "Yeah, Ruffy Silverstein!" That was a nickname I'd forgotten! Ruffy Silverstein, the wrestler, was one of our favorites! This was before we knew wrestling was phony but one really couldn't tell much on a 12-inch TV screen. My mother was a dedicated wrestling fan. You can imagine her dismay when she and my father went to Columbus to see her favorite wrestler "Nature Boy" Buddy Rogers and she saw from ringside how staged the matches were. She returned home and she never watched wrestling again!

My brothers and I started throwing out names of wrestlers: Lou Thesz, Verne Gagne, Antonio Rocco, Bobo Brazil, Gorgeous George, Hans Schmidt, Bronco Nagurski, Angelo Poffo and one I did not remember: Sandor Szabo!

It's interesting WHAT people remember. In getting ready for a class reunion, I was sorting pictures and on the back of Jean Ann's picture was written, "I'll never forget our little 5th grade wrestling champion Ruffy Silverstein." In searching for a photo of Ruffy to include with this piece I learned that there is a current Canadian wrestler who uses the name Ruffy Silverstein. What an homage!

Thursday, September 8, 2011


Well over 50 years ago I knew a woman who would not buy Christmas gifts if they were made in China. Her daughter will recognize her in the following.

Did you see Diane Sawyer's special report? They removed ALL items from a typical, middle class family's home that were not made in the USA or CANADA.

There was hardly anything left besides the kitchen sink--lierally! During the broadcast they showed truckloads of items--made in the USA and CANADA--being brought in to replace everything and told how to find these items and the difference in prices, etc.

It was interesting that Diane said if every American and Canadian spent just $64 more than normal on USA OR CANADIAN-made items this year, it would create nearly
200,000 new jobs!

I was buying food the other day at Walmart (FIRST mistake as Walmart is the biggest importer of Chinese goods) and the "Our Family" brand of Mandarin oranges had stamped on the can "from China".

For a few cents more I bought the "Liberty Gold" brand since it's from Claifornia.

Are we Americans and Canadians as dumb as we appear or is it that we just do not think? The Chinese, knowingly and intentionally, export inferior and even toxic products and dangerous toys and goods to be sold in American and Canadians markets.

70% of Americans and Canadians believe that the trading privileges afforded to the Chinese should be suspended.

Why do you need the government to suspend trading privileges? DO IT YOURSELF, AMERICA and CANADA!

Simply look on the bottom of every product you buy, and if it shows "Made in China" or "PRC" (which now includes Hong Kong), simply choose another product, or none at all. You will be amazed at how dependent you are on Chinese products, and you will be equally amazed at what you can do without.

Who needs plastic eggs to celebrate Easter? If you must have eggs, use real ones and benefit some Canadian or American farmer. Easter is just an example. The point is: do not wait for the government to act. Just go ahead and assume control on your own.

THINK ABOUT THIS: If 200 million Americans and Canadians refuse to buy just $20 of Chinese goods, that's a billion dollar trade imbalance resolved in our favor--fast!

Most of the people who have been reading about this matter are planning on implementing this on September 1 and continue it until October 1. That is only one month of trading losses, but it will hit the Chinese for 1/12th of the total, or 8%, of their American and Canadian exports.

Surely we can live without Chinese goods for one month!
Perhaps if we learn we can do it for one month, we might be able to do it all the time!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


My friend Patty let me know that she had lost her beloved cat Smokey Joe and I told her that our Calico Louise (twin sister of Thelma) was not doing well and I also mentioned Sasha Fierce, another cat. As we have unusual naming proclivities, Patty suggested that we name all future kittens after the Jolie-Pitt brood. I said, "Pax, Max, Rax; what the Hell are those kids names?" Of course Patty knew that I knew and I knew that she knew that I knew the names of that brood!

I usually preface these revelations with: "I'm EMBARRASSED I know that." or "Don't tell anybody I KNOW that!"

In relating the exchange to Les, he said, "Well, Knox and Vivienne are nice names." I shrieked, as usual, "I'm embarrassed I know that!" Les said, "She named the girl after her mother." I said, "Oh, no, her mother's name was MARCHELINE BERTRAND." (I even pronounced it Frenchy-like!)

Les said, "This must stop--you know Angelina Jolie's mother's name!" I responded, sheepishly, "Her LATE mother."

I asked, "WHY do we retain such useless information? I don't remember Einstein's Theory of Relativity or Boyle's Third Law, but I knew them when I had Physics with Hubert M. Amstutz, Jr., whose father was Dr. Hubert M. Amstutz who was an otolaryngologist." WHY do I remember Mr. Amstutz's father's medical specialty and not particulars of Einstein and Boyle?

Les said he was going to call Dr. Drew to see if there were an intervention available for for this problem.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


I used to say that my definition of an intellectual: someone who can listen to "The William Tell Overture" and NOT think of The Lone Ranger.

My new definition: someone who uses "penultimate" correctly. Les recently asked: "Do you know the meaning of the word penultimate?" I confidently answered but gave the opposite meaning! He told me that he was reading Wil Wheaton's blog and Wil used the word and he had to look it up!

Since then, Les and I have heard penultimate used twice--both times incorrectly!

Tonight, watching "Book Notes", I heard Gertrude Himmelfarb use penultimate correctly! So, you're asking--or maybe not--WHY were you watching Gertrude Himmelfarb--a woman whose writings which are diametrically opposed to your own beliefs? Well, I admit that I always watched William F. Buckley, Jr. also! When the interviewer asked which of her two children was the oldest Gertrude replied, "My son Bill is the elder of the two!" Gotta love a classy correction, even from a Neo-Con!

Monday, September 5, 2011


By Judy Perry

As we approach this Labor Day, we might pause to reflect upon the currently trending political demonization of unions, especially public employee unions as the ill that almost single-handedly is bankrupting the country.

I am a part-time state university instructor and, as such, am a member of my public employee union. I thank it every time I buy a parking permit that, due to the collective bargaining process, costs me roughly one-fourth what my students pay; I thank it every semester there is a course for me to teach that must be offered to me instead of a lower-paid and less-experienced contender.

Mostly, though, my union helps to keep alive the rights of the American worker over corporate attempts to union-bust, outsource American jobs to people who don’t pay US taxes, while at the same time embracing their “right” of corporate personhood and purchasing wholesale the democratic elements of this republic.

And so it is this day that I remember my grandfather, a life-long blue collar union member who survived one of the earliest onslaughts of corporate interests against American workers.

John Edgar Perry was my grandfather, born in 1902 in what was then the Oklahoma Territory. His own father had died a few months before his birth, the victim of a virulent influenza epidemic.

My grandfather was also witness to and survivor of what has been described as one of the most brutal attacks on organised labour in North American history, namely, the infamous Ludlow Massacre.

He was 12 years old. He’d been working in the mines from the age of seven. And this was nothing out of the ordinary. My own boy is ten. I cannot begin to fathom my child working in one of the most dangerous coal mines in the country, much less his possibly being mowed down by a Gatling gun by the Colorado National Guard at the mine owner’s request. But my grandfather witnessed that and more.

Child coal miners in 1908

The Ludlow, Colorado, site was home to the Rockefeller-owned Colorado Fuel and Iron Corporation. Workers there earned $1.68 per day. However this was issued in scrip, not cash; scrip could only be spent at the company’s supply store which charged considerably more for items than did regular merchants. Fatalities in Colorado’s mines at the time have been estimated as being between two to three times higher than the national average. Living conditions were abominable and morale low.

Unionizing attempts led to the 14-month long Colorado Coal Strike as the Ludlow miners, adults and children alike, sought to unionize. The result? They were evicted from the company-owned housing they were forced to rent. In winter. Men, women, and children, including infants. They were forced to erect tent cities in which to live for the winter. Financed by the Union. BTW, Colorado gets fairly cold in the winter.

As Mother Jones noted,

No one listened. No one cared… Men in the steam heated luxury of Broadway offices could not feel the stinging cold of Colorado hill-sides where families lived in tents. Then came Ludlow and the nation heard. Little children roasted alive make a front page story. Dying by inches of starvation and exposure does not. On the 19th of April, 1914, machine guns, used on the strikers… were placed in position above the tent colony of Ludlow… Immediately the machine guns began spraying the flimsy tent colony, the only home the wretched families of the miners had, riddling it with bullets. Like iron rain, bullets upon men, women and children.

My grandfather never liked to talk about his youth. His mother remarried, to a “scab” or union breaker who crossed strike lines to the detriment of workers like my adolescent grandfather, who ended up being the chief wage earner of his now larger family of his mother, his full sister Vera, and, by 1922, nine half-siblings . He never finished school. He worked in the mines and hunted so that his family wouldn’t starve to death. At my grandmother’s funeral, several church members spoke of deer meat mysteriously appearing on their doorsteps, deer meat my grandfather gave them during times of hardship. Memories of “The Company Store” and useless scrip likely contributed to his refusal until nearly the end of his life to place his money in a bank. To the end of his very long life, he slept with a loaded gun by his bedside.

I only recall his telling the Ludlow Massacre story once; my father was fortunate enough to get it on tape. My grandfather said that the workers knew the massacre was coming and that, despite the fact that my 12 year old grandfather was a striking mine worker himself, the older miners sent him with most of the women and older children up to a grainary or mill removed from the strike zone. It was from that vantage point that he witnessed the ensuing slaughter.

The next day, the New York Times (4-21-1914) reported:

The Ludlow camp is a mass of charred debris, and buried beneath it is a story of horror imparalleled [sic] in the history of industrial warfare. In the holes which had been dug for their protection against the rifles’ fire the flames swept over them. One pit, uncovered [the day after the massacre] disclosed the bodies of ten children and two women.

One of the women was pregnant. She died. The Union cemented in their bodies and erected a statue to their memories that, if you are to visit Ludlow, you’d have a hard time finding. Rockefeller and the industry continued on, remorseless. My grandfather watched it all happen. And he survived to tell the tale.

It is a tale that we MUST remember and must retell every Labour Day. We are not as removed from this sort of corporate abuse as the politicos would like for us to believe. We’ve simply outsourced the abusive working conditions to countries like India and China to which we’ve also outsourced American jobs. We abuse our migrant workers, who, like Maria Isabel Vasquez Jimenez, die as pregnant women in the fields of heatstroke after being denied access to water and shade. We use semi-indentured servitude sold as “jobs training for the unemployed” to provide free labour for big businesses. Software titans like Bill Gates continue to issue vague threats to pull their companies out of the US if the federal government refuses to increase the number of H-1B visas that allow them to use lower-paid foreign programmers than the body of US programmers qualified for those jobs.

For reference, see Woody Guthrie's YouTube video here.
And a Johnny Cash YouTube video here.

Sunday, September 4, 2011


Sherri, a woman in her twenties, came into work one morning and I noticed that one side of her mouth was drooping; I asked her if she were OK and she said that she had awakened feeling strange. I asked her if she had looked in the mirror. I escorted her to the Medical Department and the nurse Althea immediately called to have her taken to the hospital believing she might have experienced a stroke. I said, "I'll bet she has Bell's Palsy." Althea asked where I had gotten my medical degree and that I shouldn't say things like that in front of the employee. Of course she was right about that, but I thought she was very young for a stroke. After the employee left, I told Althea that my sister-in-law had had Bell's Palsy for awhile and that's how she looked and it had lasted several weeks. When the employee returned, the doctor had diagnosed Bell's Palsy and Sherri's only lasted three days. You can imagine that I had a lot of kidding about "diagnostic questions" after that!

I knew that Bell's Palsy can afflict one for hours, days, months or years. My friend Lee Ann had been diagnosed with Bell's Palsy when she was a young housewife and mother. It had affected one entire side of her face. Her husband was a teacher and coach and they had two children. He died quite young and Lee Ann had two young children to rear all alone. She knew that she HAD to get a job but she had never worked outside the home, having married right after high school. She knew that her opportunities for employment were limited because of the Bell's Palsy. A person for whom she was a babysitter and had beeen one of her husband's students and athletes became a Supervisor at IH. When he came to pay his respects at the funeral, he of course said the obligatory, "If there's anything I can do...." Several weeks later, the Bell's Palsy had disappeared, after 10 years! In the weeks following, as she was trying to find employment, the school had decided to name the athletic field in memory of her husband. She and the children went for the dedication. The man for whom she had been a babysitter was there and he came over and said that he could help her get a job.

She was hired in an entry-level position but with her determination she went on to become a Supervisor and her General Foreman was, yes, the man for whom she'd been a baby sitter!

Lee Ann ran the section on first shift which I ran on Second. When the 2nd Shift was curtailed she and I worked together on First Shift and we became friends and allies! She had the most winning personality and was greatly respected by workers and management alike. After being a widow for more than twenty years, she married a fellow Supervisor and helped to rear his son.

Lee Ann's hairstyle was always with bangs covering one side of her forehead. I had noticed that Lee Ann had age lines on one side of her face but none on the other. Over one summer shutdown I had gone from a shoulder-length hairstyle to a short Pixie-cut. At lunch Lee Ann was complimenting the style and said she wished she could change her hair style. I asked why she didn't and she said that the bangs covered her wrinkles. I told her she didn't have any wrinkles. She lifted her bangs and showed me on that side of her forehead were normal age-lines and the other side was smooth! She then told me about having had Bell's Palsy and said that the "benefit" of Bell's Palsy was that that side of her face didn't move so it formed no wrinkles. She said it looked so bizarre when she exposed her forehead!

When I first heard of Botox, I thought about Lee Ann. I called her and we went to lunch and she laughed and said the one side had ALMOST caught up with the other as far as wrinkles were concerned!

The nerve that is injured with Bell's Palsy originates in an area of the brain stem known as the Pons.

Saturday, September 3, 2011


When riding with Gerald, he is forever pointing out what he considers to be something interesting about cars he sees. I usually barely look up from whatever I'm reading. Once, on a Saturday night, we were "all dressed up" and going out to eat and to a play! Suddenly, Gerald exclaimed, "OMG, Sue it's a Rolls Royce!"; I looked up and we were indeed following behind a cream-colored Rolls Royce! We were heading toward our exit and I said, "Oh, follow it and see where they go." Gerald said, "We don't have time to do that." I said that I didn't care about dinner and we had plenty of time before the play started.

The Rolls signaled to go into a Kentucky Fried Chicken! I said, "Oooh, let's see if they go through the drive-through or if they go in!" They went through the drive-through and got a bucket of chicken and we were following right behind but Gerald refused to go any further because he was afraid we'd get lost and we'd already paid for the theater tickets!

Friday, September 2, 2011


The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

There are the familiar ones: a HERD of cows, a FLOCK of chickens, a SCHOOL of fish, a GAGGLE of geese and a PRIDE of lions; however, a MURDER of crows (and their cousins the ravens and rooks), an EXALTATION of doves, and presumably, because they look wise, a PARLIAMENT of owls are more unusual terms.

Now, consider a group of BABOONS: they are the loudest, most aggressive, most obnoxious, most dangerous, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all Primates, yet, what do you think is the collective name for a group of baboons?

Yes, it's a CONGRESS!

To see 10 Peculiar Collective Nouns,
Click Here.

To see Odd Names For Animals, Click Here.

Thursday, September 1, 2011


At work one day, one of the Team Leaders called me and said she was having a problem with one of the employees named Jayne. I went to the section and the Team Leader had sent Jayne to the rest room because Jayne was crying hysterically! I asked the Team Leader about the problem and the Team Leader said she'd told Jayne to go underneath the truck to do some work. I asked if she had ever had any problem before and the Team Leader said that she had been a "model" employee as she had never been late, never missed work and volunteered for overtime. I asked if Jayne had given any reason and the Team Leader said that Jayne said that she could not go underneath the truck. I went to the rest room and found Jayne sitting there and she asked, "Am I going to lose my job?" I said, "You know that you can't refuse to do a job." Jayne wailed, "Please put me on another job; I'll do any job you ask but I can't go underneath and work." I said, "Jayne, you've been in that same section since you started and you've never had a problem; the Team Leader says you're a model employee." She was crying, gulping for air, and I said, "You need to tell me why you can't go underneath the truck." She said, "I just can't risk it!" I asked, "Risk what?"

She took her hands and unpinned hair from the sides of hair at the temples and raised the mound of hair that was on the top of her head. I had always thought that she had an unusual hair style and arrangement and it was striking because it was a flaming red shade. When she lifted the pile of hair, I was shocked to see that she was bald from the front of her head to the back and the skin was translucent with veins very apparent, unlike a man's bald head. All of her hair was gone except for some patches on the temples. The hair on the mound was hair from the back of her head! I must say that that arrangement was an engineering marvel!

She said, "I can't risk anything touching my scalp and I'm afraid I would hit it on something underneath the truck." I said, "You could wear a hard hat." She said that she couldn't risk that either.

She told me that she had been SCALPED in a wringer washer accident when she was three years old and she was lucky to have survived.

I then did something which nobody outside my family has seen for years: I took off my wig and revealed my scars. Jayne gasped; of course my embarrassing scars were in no way comparable to hers; her gasp was no doubt from the shock of my whipping off the wig!

I said, "Jayne, I'm going to transfer you to the line and you'll never have to worry about going under the truck again and if you ever have another problem just tell the Team Leader to call me." She asked, "You won't tell anybody else, will you? I said, "If you don't tell about my scars, I won't tell about yours."

When Jayne returned to the floor I told her Team Leader that Jayne was going to another section. Of course the Team Leader asked why and I said, "Jayne needs to work on the line." The other Team Leader asked why Jayne was being transferred. I said, "Give me your WORST employee and I'll give you a model employee in exchange!"

Several days later as I was passing through Jayne's new section Jayne asked to speak to me. She said, "The doctor said that I might be able to be fitted for a wig if I could have a pad inside." The next day I brought phone numbers and catalogues for her. After Christmas shutdown, Jayne returned wearing a beautiful, flaming red wig!