Wednesday, July 31, 2013


Seeing this cartoon made me reflect once again about the influence of Stanley Kubrick (CLICK HERE to see my BLOG article THE KUBRICK INFLUENCE). Les asked, "You know that Felliniesque is in the dictionary as an adjective; how about Kubrickian?"

Stanley Kubrick is Gerald's favorite director and one of my favorites. Gerald said that he never understood the importance of a director until we saw 2001: A Space Odyssey and I kept exclaiming about the directorial aspects of the movie.

I was watching CBS' Sunday Morning and there was a segment with Stephen King. The interviewer asked about his feelings about having his books adapted for movies. I was stunned to hear his comments about Stanley Kubrick who directed The Shining. Unlike Stephen King, Arthur C. Clarke, the author of 2001: A Space Odyssey, certainly was pleased with Kubrick's treatment of his work.

A mediocre writer like Stephen King should appreciate a genius like Kubrick even bothering adapting his work! Yes, King fans, I wrote mediocre! Even King himself has admitted that he isn't a "great" writer. I've heard the argument from King fans that he is obviously great because of the number of books he has sold. ("Well, have YOU sold a million books?", I've been asked.) Nora Roberts, Danielle Steele, Dan Brown, and Dean Koontz also have phenomenal sales, but I doubt that many people would consider them "great" writers! I found it interesting that King had criticized the writing of Stephanie Meyer and James Patterson.

I wondered if they had out-grossed him in sales!

Volunteering at Goodwill sorting donated books, I oftentimes come across books by Taylor Caldwell, Frank G. Slaughter, and Thomas B. Costain. When I was a teenager, books by those authors were huge best-sellers, but does anyone read them now? People are still reading Catcher In The Rye, To Kill A Mockingbird, Catch-22, and The Diary Of A Young Girl; I'm glad I bought those.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013


Yesterday, someone asked if I had always had only red automobiles.

I told a riddle that came from the inside-wrapper of a piece of Fleers Double-Bubble Bubble Gum.

Here's the riddle:

What would happen if everyone in the U. S. was like me and purchased only red vehicles?


That probably came from 1953 (SEE AD). This is another riddle from a Fleers gum-wrapper which I tell whenever anyone uses the phrase "raining cats and dogs":

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

HAILING TAXIS! When I learned that riddle from Fleers, I didn't know what "hailing taxis" meant and had to ask Mother!

Fleers is still in business; I wonder if there are still riddles, etc. with the bubble gum. I guess I will buy some bubble gum!

Monday, July 29, 2013


At our Red Hat Lady luncheon for July, I asked the waitress if she was going to need some help with the large number of people in our group and she said that she could "handle" it.

I said, "Ask me, can you sing Joy To The World?"

She didn't understand, but Barbara, sitting next to me, asked the question, "Sue, can you sing Joy To The World?"

Answer: "I think I can HANDEL it!"

Nobody "got" it; I had to explain it.

After I came home, I told the story to Les, who responded, "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!" Of course Les "got" the "Handel" reference, but he had to one-up me with the Three Dog Night reference!

Les said, "If you have to explain 'em, it's the wrong audience!"

Sunday, July 28, 2013


I suppose that Virginia will need to change its state slogan "VIRGINIA IS FOR LOVERS" if Republican Ken Cuccinelli is elected Governor. Cuccinelli, the current Attorney General of Virginia, has promised, if elected, that he will reinstate the "Crimes Against Nature" law which prohibited oral and anal sex between consenting adults, even straight married people! The Federal Appeals Court struck down the law, citing the 2003 U. S. Supreme Court decision of Lawrence v. Texas.

I thought Republicans were opposed to government intrusion into our personal lives and wanted the government OFF OUR BACKS! Obviously Cuccinelli wants to be ON OUR BACKS in our bedrooms! Mr. Cuccinelli should be concerned about jobs, health care, war, immigration, and the infrastructure, rather than what Virginians do in their bedrooms!

On The View Joy Behar said, "Anal sex too; he wants the government on my back and my husband off of it!"

Saturday, July 27, 2013


Recently, I learned that Rush Limbaugh thinks it is acceptable for him to use an "N" (ni..a) word [CLICK HERE for article] because Trayvon Martin's friend who testified at the travesty (known as the Zimmerman trial), used the word in her testimony.

Rush's embracing the word reminded me of my Granny Cox.

I've written before about Granny Cox, and not favorably. For starters, after a tornado destroyed our home, we were forced to go to stay with her, and because my mother refused to let her whip me, she kicked us out! That was a pretty defining moment for me.

Later, Granny was "saved" and as Mother would say, "That's when the hypocritin' began." I said, "Mother, I don't think hypocrite takes a gerund form", but to this day, my brothers and I say "hypocriting"!

After her transformation into a "Christian", Granny would supposedly no longer swear! It was always amusing just how often she had an excuse to "quote" people and thus be able to actually say "forbidden" words. When Mother would ask Granny how she could be using those words after being "saved", Granny would say that she had to quote people correctly! (WTH? WTF? as Facebookers use!)

To paraphrase the old saw: "Hypocrisy makes strange bedfellows." Rush and Granny would have been comfortable in their Hypocrisy Bed!

Friday, July 26, 2013



A friend of mine, Lee Muller, posted the following on Facebook. It came from a site called Interesting Amazing Facts and I thought you might get a kick out of reading it.

“They used to use urine to tan animal
skins, so families used to all pee in a
pot & then once a day it was taken &
Sold to the tannery…….if you had to
do this to survive you were “Piss
Poor” But worse than that were the really
poor folk who couldn’t even afford to
buy a pot……they “didn’t have a pot to
piss in” & were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your
hands and complain because the water
temperature isn’t just how you like it,
think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June
because they took their yearly bath in
May, and they still smelled pretty good
by June.. However, since they were
starting to smell . …… . Brides carried
a bouquet of flowers to hide the body
odor. Hence the custom today of
carrying a bouquet when getting

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with
hot water. The man of the house had
the privilege of the nice clean water,
then all the other sons and men, then
the women and finally the children.
Last of all the babies. By then the
water was so dirty you could actually
lose someone in it.. Hence the saying,
“Don’t throw the baby out with the
Bath water!”

Houses had thatched roofs-thick
straw-piled high, with no wood
underneath. It was the only place for
animals to get warm, so all the cats
and other small animals (mice, bugs)
lived in the roof. When it rained it
became slippery and sometimes the
animals would slip and fall off the
roof… Hence the saying “It’s raining
cats and dogs.”

There was nothing to stop things from
falling into the house. This posed a
real problem in the bedroom where
bugs and other droppings could mess
up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed
with big posts and a sheet hung over
the top afforded some protection.
That’s how canopy beds came into

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy
had something other than dirt. Hence
the saying, “Dirt poor.” The wealthy
had slate floors that would get
slippery in the winter when wet, so
they spread thresh (straw) on floor to
help keep their footing. As the winter
wore on, they added more thresh until,
when you opened the door, it would
all start slipping outside. A piece of
wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.

In those old days, they cooked in the
kitchen with a big kettle that always
hung over the fire.. Every day they lit
the fire and added things to the pot.
They ate mostly vegetables and did
not get much meat. They would eat
the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers
in the pot to get cold overnight and
then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that
had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot,
peas porridge cold, peas porridge in
the pot nine days old. Sometimes they
could obtain pork, which made them
feel quite special. When visitors came
over, they would hang up their bacon
to show off. It was a sign of wealth
that a man could, “bring home the
bacon.” They would cut off a little to
share with guests and would all sit
around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of
pewter. Food with high acid content
caused some of the lead to leach onto
the food, causing lead poisoning
death. This happened most often with
tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or
so, tomatoes were considered

Bread was divided according to status.
Workers got the burnt bottom of the
loaf, the family got the middle, and
guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or
whisky. The combination would
Sometimes knock the imbibers out for
a couple of days. Someone walking
along the road would take them for
dead and prepare them for burial..
They were laid out on the kitchen table
for a couple of days and the family
would gather around and eat and drink
and wait and see if they would wake
up. Hence the custom of holding a

England is old and small and the local
folks started running out of places to
bury people. So they would dig up
coffins and would take the bones to a
bone-house, and reuse the grave.
When reopening these coffins, 1 out of
25 coffins were found to have scratch
marks on the inside and they realized
they had been burying people alive…
So they would tie a string on the wrist
of the corpse, lead it through the
coffin and up through the ground and
tie it to a bell. Someone would have to
sit out in the graveyard all night (the
graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell;
thus, someone could be, saved by the
bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that’s the truth….Now, whoever
said History was boring.”

I haven’t a clue how much of this is true but it is interesting reading. Here’s one I read about years ago. At some time in Europe men made a living by wearing a huge cape and carrying a chamber pot. A gentleman would walk up, pay the man a few pence, be engulfed by the cape for privacy, and then relieve himself in the pot. Mel Brooks played such a character, Le Garçon de Pisse or piss boy, in his film History of the World, Part 1.


Thursday, July 25, 2013


Sue: "It's SOOOOO hot!"
Les: "It's July."
Sue: "It's hotter this year."
Les: "No records have been broken."
Sue: "I've never suffered so much with the heat before."
Les: "I thought OLD people were cold all the time!"

CLICK HERE to see Nancy Giles' essay No Sweat--You Gotta Be Kidding Me. Then read my BLOG article from last year: PERSPIRING (CLICK HERE).

Wednesday, July 24, 2013


I hate the County Fair! I know the statement is close to being unpatriotic in Fayette County, just as being critical of THE Ohio State University is! I went to the Fair only once when I was a child; it was when I was probably nine when my brother Bode took several of us kids.

Oh, my, at that time it was magical, thrilling, and exciting. I was entranced and I always wanted to go every year, but couldn't; I wanted to be in 4-H but I couldn't. I never went to the Fair again until I was 16 and my friend Cammy took me. I remember that two guys with whom I went to school were there with their dates and I recall the envy and wistfulness I felt, thinking that someday I would also be able to have a date to take me to the Fair.

That didn't happen until I was 25 and Gerald and I were engaged, and I still had the yearning to go to the Fair with a DATE! (We took two of my friend's daughters with us; one of the girls vomited on me during one of the rides; some "date"--right?) Gerald was laid-off from work at the time, and I paid for everything! (Some "date"--right?) We rode the rides, looked at the exhibits, ate the Fair Food, etc. Guess what? I hated the Fair! (So much for "envy" and "wistfulness"--right?) I was fairly certain I would never go to another fair.

However, I was guilt-tripped into volunteering at the Democratic booth at the County Fair in 2004. Each year since, I have been at the booth, usually for 5 evenings! I do this in loyalty to our cause but have no enjoyment except the camaraderie of being with fellow Democrats, registering people to vote, looking askance at the Republicans and Tea Party people as I walk through the building to our booth--and did I mention--the FAIR FOOD?

No envy, no wistfulness, no yearning--just 5 pounds gained!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013


FOLDEROL: "trivial or nonsensical fuss."

A usually sagacious friend was visiting today and the following conversation ensued:

SHE: (said with some excitement) "SHE went to the hospital today!"

I: (of course I knew WHO she meant, but feigned ignorance) "WHO?"


I: "Kate who?"


I: (exclaiming): "Oh, my God, why are YOU interested?"

SHE: "It will be third in line."

I: "Don't you remember we fought a Revolution to get rid of those SOBs?"

I cannot believe the interest on "this side of the pond" (how veddy, veddy British of me!). I have no interest, just as I had no interest in the shenanigans of the grandparents and parents of the expectant father!

However, here is what I have learned from the latest folderol:

I NOW say "going to hospital" rather than the Americanese "going to THE hospital". Ah, the British still have an influence on me! A long time ago, I quit saying "going to THE university" and now say "going to university" ( just as I say "going to college" and "going to school"). However, people look at me strangely when I omit THE!

Monday, July 22, 2013


I've promised--to Gerald, my family, my friends, and my insurance agent--that I would quit speeding!

On my birthday I was stopped by the WORLD'S BEST POLICE OFFICER who asked me, "Do you know why I stopped you?" I said, "Because you wanted to tell me Happy Birthday."

Oh, no, what is it about me that I can't resist charming repartee? [Oh, you're saying that you don't consider that charming repartee?]

Fortunately the WORLD'S BEST POLICE OFFICER was in a pleasant mood. He said, "No, ma'am, I stopped you because you were going 44 in a 25." I gasped, "Oh, no, I am not used to my car; this is my birthday present and it's showing KILOMETERS instead of miles." [Now, I am willing to wager he hasn't heard THAT excuse.] He asked, "May I see your license and registration?" I handed my license and insurance card to him and said, "I haven't received the registration yet; as a matter of fact, my husband called today about it and he was told it was in the mail." He asked, "When did you buy it--do you have the bill of sale with you?" I answered, "It's at home; I can call Whiteside's; I have them on Speed-Dial; or I can call my husband; it's only 2 blocks away!" I picked up my phone. He told me to put down the phone.

THE WORLD'S BEST POLICE OFFICER gave me the following tips about mistakes I'd made during the encounter:

1. I jumped out of my car before he got out of his vehicle. I did that to get my purse which in the back seat. He said that I should not have done that because it might appear I was getting a weapon.

2. Wait until he asks for the information. Keep my hands on the wheel.

3. Don't pick up my phone, etc.

He asked, "Do you remember I was the one who stopped you at your last traffic offense?" (CLICK HERE to see the BLOG article "BOBBY SUE RAYHAL") I gulped, recalling that incident. He said, "You gave me a lot of guff that time." [YES, he actually used the word "GUFF") I said, quite sweetly, "Oh, I didn't do that; I would NEVER give any GUFF to a police officer!" I continued, "I just wondered WHY you were asking me where I was going and then you told me that the way I told you I'd come wasn't the right way." He answered, "If I don't know a person, then I have a different set of questions." I said, "Well, I was offended; I thought you meant I was doing something wrong by being out after midnight then; I thought that you thought I might be drinking." He said, "Well, we have reasons for asking the questions." I said, "I told you that night I was a member of MADD and I'd never had a drink in my life!" He said, "Yes, I remember." Thinking that discretion was the better part of valor, I did NOT mention that I had brought up the Fourth Amendment back then and hoped he'd forgotten that tidbit.

He then told me he was just giving me a warning and said, "Happy Birthday and no speeding!"


Sunday, July 21, 2013


My Chrysler Sebring convertible is 17 years old. It is known as the "Stickermobile" as I cannot refrain from announcing my opinions on my bumper. Les said, "Your car will be old enough to vote soon and you're still telling it who to vote for!"

So why would I want a new car? In "car years" it's a geriatric case, but still of sound mind and body, but, as with teenagers, I began encountering problems!

My new car is a Dodge Dart Rallye.

I learned that there were family members making wagers how soon it would be before the car was "christened" with a bumper sticker.

Whoever bet two days is the winner!

Saturday, July 20, 2013


I received a birthday card today from my friend, The Reverend Jack Witherspoon, and it contained a Kroger gift card for $70! I said to Les, "Isn't that strange to get a $70 gift card? I can see $50, $75, and $100." Les agreed that it was peculiar.

I said to Gerald, "Did you see my card from Reverend Jack?"

He said, "Yeah, isn't that great--$70 for 70 years?"

I am dense at 70!

I should mention that Jack is one of the funniest people I know!

Friday, July 19, 2013


"Shave and a haircut, 2 bits."

I hadn't thought of that phrase in years, but I was giving one of my clients a shave and a haircut and of course, I had to sing: "Shave and a haircut, 2 bits." A discussion followed, each of us wondering the derivation of the song snippet. I thought that 2 bits was 50 cents, but the client was certain it is 25 cents. I defer to his recollection!

2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits, a dollar! Of course it's 25 cents!

"To the internet!", I announced. "Inquiring minds need to know!"

The term "bit" to mean currency stems from our Colonial days. The U.S. dollar was equivalent to the Spanish peso. 1 bit was equivalent to 1/8 of a Spanish peso. People would cut the peso into 8 pieces. The United States had no coin with the same monetary value of 1 bit. A quarter of a dollar would be equal to a quarter of a peso, which equals 2 bits!

The music originated in 1888 when Gilbert and Sullivan used the 5-note riff in The Yeoman Of The Guard. Since then, the 7-note couplet has been used numerous times, usually with comic effect. In 1939, Milton Berle, along with Shapiro and Lee, added the lyrics in a recording Shave And A Haircut--Shampoo. Many others have used the words and music; e.g.: Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim in Officer Krupke from West Side Story, Doc Severinson on The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson, Dave Brubeck, Earl Scruggs, Les Paul and Mary Ford, and my personal favorite: Tom Lehrer in his song Elements.

In high school, one of the basketball cheers was: "2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits, a dollar,
Everyone from Bloomingburg, stand up and holler!"

I have also heard:

"Shave and a haircut,
You said a mouthful--shut up!"

"Shave and a haircut,
Bay rum!"

My mother, who liked to add her own riffs to practically every song, would always sing it this way:

"Shave and a haircut, two bits,
Who is the barber?
Tom Mix."

Les said, "Who knew Tom Mix was a barber?"

Thursday, July 18, 2013


I love Fair Food! Yes, give me the funnel cakes, the elephant ears, the Polish Sausage sandwiches, the fare at the Pork Producers, Cattlemen's Association, and Saint Colman's, but this year I have fallen in love with POTATO ON A STICK! I ate something similar last year, with the potato deep fried like French fries, curled and served on a plate, but this year the potatoes are served on a skewer. The concessionaire drills a hole through the potato and puts it on a stick and fries it.

The girls in the picture, Elizabeth and Brittany, were walking through the building where our booth is located, showing the potato on a stick, trying to create business, and I asked them to bring one back to me.

Elizabeth returned and said that she had been reported by another vendor for soliciting business which is against the rules of the Fair. What an assault on their entrepreneurial spirit!

The girls are from North Carolina, moved to Zanesville, where Elizabeth's mother and step-father started the concession business, working at county fairs.

Good luck to them!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013


A friend gave me the comic strip here, saying it reminded her of me. It is the role reversal for Gerald and me! He is the "questioner" and I am the "improver"!

I have a relative who repeats nearly everything one says in the form of a question. Les said, "He's just desperate to have a part in the conversations." My friend Gretchen said I need to be more "sympathetic".

I hate it when people don't simply answer a question I've asked, but, instead, ask another question. CLICK HERE to see my blog article I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ANSWER THEIR OWN RHETORICAL QUESTIONS!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013


A friend had never tried shashimi or sushi but said she would like to; I explained the differences. (CLICK HERE to see article)

I suggested that we go to the new Japanese restaurant in town--Nagasaki--she decided to try the "Spider Rolls" which contained soft shell crab, cucumber, and tobico, accompanied with wasabi and "yum-yum sauce". I noticed a concerned look when I explained that the portions were wrapped in seaweed and when she asked what "tobico" is, I said, "It's caviar."

After one bite she exclaimed that the sushi was "too fishy"!

Her son made fun of her which relieved me of the responsibility to do so! Imagine sushi being "too fishy"!

I have dined at Nagasaki three times and each time has been delightful, with a charming wait staff and ample portions of food. The restaurant also has some Thai selections and General Tso's Chicken for less adventuresome folks. I've had the Hibachi Scallops, and the Hibachi Shrimp and Scallops dinners.

I wanted to try the Hibachi Seafood Deluxe Dinner (with salmon, shrimp, and scallops), but I do not care for salmon prepared that way. I asked if crab could be substituted for the salmon and if I could have Yaki udon (Japanese noodles) rather than fried rice which normally is served with the dinner. They were very accommodating, and with no extra charge.

"Arigatou gozaimasu." (Japanese for "Thank you very much.")

Monday, July 15, 2013


This article was published shortly after the murder of Trayvon Martin.

I am heartbroken that a boy went to the store, bought some Skittles and iced tea, and while on his way home, was profiled by a Wannabe cop, was murdered, and the murderer was set free. Justice in Florida.


My BLOG is mostly topical, or humorous, but when I heard of the murder of Trayvon Martin, I wanted to write about it because my mind went back to May 7, 1979, recalling when a sixteen-year-old boy was murdered in the local Kroger parking lot. His infraction, according to the murderer, was because he and his friend used dirty language.

12 fine Fayette County people--a jury of his peers--found the murderer not guilty by reason of insanity.

The following day, the murderer strutted the streets of Washington Court House with a gun strapped on his hip.

That's justice--Fayette County style!

I put the idea for an article in my DRAFT file.

Recently, the mother of that sixteen-year-old died and somehow, I felt bereft for not having followed up on that BLOG article comparing the senseless tragedy of her son to the other senseless tragedy of Trayvon.

The boy's mother worked for me in the 1970s and we were as close as a management/employee relationship would allow. How she was able to cope with the circus which surrounded her after the murder of her son, I do not know. I wanted to protect her from the ignorance of the so-called "good intentions" of people. I detested the "professional mourners" who crowded in to witness her devastating grief. At the funeral, I stayed busy keeping the S.O.B.'s at a distance. I felt, "How dare they come to bother her in her grief?" I thought, "The rats come out of the woodwork to view her sorrow." Those people have a sick fascination, but cloak it with their spurious platitudes about "paying their respects" and "making an appearance" or a whole litany of other cliches. We know that their perverse pleasure is in witnessing the anguish of others, but they always dutifully report "how well" the aggrieved are "holding up"; or judging "how bad they're taking it"! Perhaps they do not realize what they consider "kind words" are oftentimes wounding rather than comforting.

I'll never forget her telling me, "I want to die, but I have to stay alive because I have other children." In the intervening years, when I would see her, I would mention her son because she'd told me that she liked to talk about him to some people, but not to others! I told her I knew exactly how she felt because, when my brother died, I couldn't stand for some people to even say his name--but with my family and friends, I wanted to talk about him. When people would mention the circumstances--which they invariably do--it is like a fresh knife in the heart! My brother died in 1964 and someone recently asked, casually, "Oh, yeah, didn't that happen out on.....?" I stopped the person before they could mention the where, what, when, and how, or any other clinical details of his death. It still hurts. How can people be so obtuse? Why would any right-thinking person want to mention, ever so casually, the circumstance of a loved one's death? I have concluded that they are either stupid or perverse, or perhaps both!

The last time I saw the boy's mother, we were exchanging the usual hugs and pleasantries and I was looking at her Grandma's Brag Book with the pictures of the grandchildren and for a moment, she looked wistful, but it wasn't the time nor the place, there in Dollar General, to discuss what might have been.

She was a good mother, wife, grandmother, friend, and a good worker. I cannot think of higher praise.

Sunday, July 14, 2013



1. NO BREAKFAST - People who do not eat breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.
2. OVEREATING - It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.
3. SMOKING - It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer's disease.
4. HIGH SUGAR CONSUMPTION - Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and can interfere with brain development.
5. AIR POLLUTION - The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.
6. SLEEP DEPRIVATION - Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.
7. HEAD COVERED WHILE SLEEPING - Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decreases concentration of oxygen which may lead to brain damaging effects.
8. WORKING YOUR BRAIN DURING ILLNESS - Working hard or studying while sick sick may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.
9. LACKING IN STIMULATING THOUGHTS - Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation may cause brain shrinkage.
10. RARELY TALKING - Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.

Saturday, July 13, 2013


Gerald and I went to make arrangements for a dinner at a local historical house which serves private dinners. During our discussion, the Chef said, "Excuse me for a moment; I need to check the Pavlova in the oven." I said, "Oh, let me look too!" Gerald said, "That's a sentence which has never been said in Fayette County before!"

When we returned from the kitchen, Gerald said, "You two are probably the only two people who know what Pavlova is!"

The Chef said, "No, I'm serving it tonight for an anniversary dinner!"

I haven't made Pavlova in many years, but I'm inspired to make it again! (See recipe HERE.)

Friday, July 12, 2013


My client's 85-year-old brother called to chat with him and he mentioned that his daughter had given him a gift certificate to have a pedicure.

I had told my 91-year-old client that I was going to trim his toenails "out of self-defense" because I was being scratched every time I put his socks on him! I brought my nifty "nippers"--they are made by Revlon--they have a lifetime guarantee and when they need fixed or sharpened one need send only $3.00 and they will be cleaned, sharpened and returned. I have done this several times in the past thirty years!

I can't remember how much they cost when I bought them but I looked online and the price is now $13.99. They are worth the investment.

My client told his brother that he was going to have a pedicure and they needed to make sure the third brother had one also!

Thursday, July 11, 2013


This morning, a friend said she was "eating like a bird". I said, "I am too--a PECK at a time." Thus ensued the conversation: "How big is a peck?" "How many pecks are in a bushel?" "How big is a bushel?" I said that I thought there were eight pecks in a bushel.

Inquiring minds need to know! I know that at one time in my life I knew how many pecks are in a bushel, etc., but I can't recall ever seeing a "peck" of anything!

Not being near a computer, I had to call my experts. Neither actually knew but checked their computers.

Yes, I was wrong, there are FOUR pecks in a bushel.


2 pints=1 quart
8 quarts=1 peck
4 pecks=1 bushel

To save the day, I had to show off that I know the words to A Bushel And A Peck, which proves only one thing--I'm OLD. Listen to Doris Day sing it.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013


A friend sent the accompanying article 15 Classic Children's Books That Have Been Banned In America. It lists banning of books from 1900 to the present day. CLICK HERE to read it.

The list is unbelievable! The Diary Of A Young Girl and Anne Frank literally (and I do mean literally!) changed my life! I have cherished Alice In Wonderland, The Wizard Of Oz, and Charlotte's Web all of my life and often quote them. I have given as gifts, books by Silverstein, Milne, Roald Dahl, Paterson, and Dr. Seuss, all of whom have been banned!

I recently wrote an article about the adulteration of Huckleberry Finn. See HERE. How dare they? I suppose that isn't as bad as banning it altogether, which has also happened. As a child I was allowed to read anything I wanted; I've written before about my brother Bode's house being a refuge--to get books one couldn't check out at the library-- (the "unexpurgated" edition of Lady Chatterley's Lover, e.g.).

Nobody was ever corrupted by a book!

I wouldn't even ban Mein Kampf!

Tuesday, July 9, 2013


It is impossible to lick your elbow.
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
The state with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter was "Tom Sawyer".
The San Francisco cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander The Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4: John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? Their birthplace
Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested Obsession
What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? All were invented by women.

Monday, July 8, 2013


"NO MORE STUFF!" That is my new mantra. I don't want--or need--any more STUFF!

A friend and I are committed to "decluttering" our houses--and lives--she is doing better than I. Another friend, who is similarly suffering, sent the video "THE STORY OF STUFF" to me.

We moved to our current home on May 1, 1984. "STUFF" was stored overhead in both 2-car garages, the workshop, the attic and basement. I haven't seen any of that STUFF above the garages since 1984 and I recall some of the STUFF that is there; since I haven't needed the STUFF in all these years, why don't I just get rid of the STUFF? Why not give STUFF to needy families or donate to Goodwill? There are lots of options.

Somehow--one of our spare bedrooms is now full--of STUFF! I was going to have a "Fundraiser Yard Sale" and kept storing STUFF in the spare room, but Gerald hates all the work and little revenue associated with yard sales and he said, "I'll give you $200 NOT to have a yard sale!" I am easily persuaded as the spare bedroom will attest.

Whenever I bring home new "STUFF", Les will say, "I was just saying how we needed another one of those."

Oh, did I mention that I stopped at a garage sale yesterday and bought some "storage items"? One is packed with a bunch of picture frames I found while sorting STUFF in my library.

While sorting in the library, I found some books from authors I have no interest in reading; obviously I had gotten them for people who like Grisham, Baldacci, and Kellerman, but had neglected to give them to them. My brother said that he'd already read them and a friend will choose any she wants and then the rest to go Goodwill!

Succes d'estime!

Sunday, July 7, 2013


Fashion Police is one of my "guilty pleasures". Of course, I know that I should NOT like the show, but the relishable rants of Joan Rivers' attacks on the likes of Madonna and Gwyenth Paltrow are just too enjoyable to miss. Besides the vicarious thrills for me, the show is also "educational". How would I have ever learned the term "MOTORBOATING" without the demonstration by the Fashion Police regular panelist Giuliana Rancic?

"Motorboating" is a term used to describe the action when one places one's face into a woman's bosom and attempts to duplicate the sound of a motorboat's engine, all the while shaking one's head from side-to-side.

I had never liked Giuliana Rancic when I would see her on the various "Red Carpet events" (another of my guilty pleasures), but her comments on Fashion Police are greatly entertaining.

I've learned that there are BLOGS dedicated to the subject of "motorboating"! Unfortunately, I was unable to find an example of Giuliana's masterful "motorboating" on YouTube or elsewhere. You must tune in to Fashion Police.

Recently, a friend and I were at Waffle House (another guilty pleasure) and a song from the jukebox was about "motorboating". I started giggling and asked my companion if she knew what the song meant but she did not. When I told her, she summoned the waitress (whom she knew), and asked, "Do you know what that song means?" The waitress said that she did not. My friend challenged me to give a demonstration. I said, "No, but I'm sure my husband would like to."

Hear the song Pontoon by the group Little Big Town below.

Saturday, July 6, 2013



Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by southerners.
Both were succeeded by southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford".
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford".

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

Friday, July 5, 2013


A sliced carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye. And YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

A tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Avocadoes, eggplant and pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female; they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries.

Oranges, grapefruits, and other citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

Thursday, July 4, 2013


In a letter to Abigail Adams, John Adams wrote about Independence Day:

"I believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be celebrated by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other."

Wednesday, July 3, 2013



The year is 2036 and the United States has just elected the first woman as President of the United States.

A few days after the election, the President-elect calls her father in and asked, "So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"

"I don't think so. It's a long drive; your mom isn't as young as she used to be, we'll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is acting up in my knee."

"Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll send Air Force One or another support aircraft to pick you up and take you home, and a limousine will pick you up at your door," she said.

"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?"

"Oh, Dad," she replied, "I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by one of the best designers in New York."

"Honey," Dad complained, "You know we can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."

The President-elect responded, "Don't worry, Dad. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in D.C. and I'll ensure your meals are salt-free. Dad, I really want you to come."

So her parents reluctantly agreed, and on January 20, 2037, they arrived to see their daughter sworn in as President of the United States.

The parents of the new President were seated in the front row.

The father of the President-elect notices a senator sitting next to him and leans over and whispers, "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"

The Senator whispered in reply, "Yes I do."

Dad says proudly, "Her brother played linebacker at Ohio State."

Tuesday, July 2, 2013


Humor is very important in dealing with illness.

An older gentleman I know told me that after he had colon cancer which required removing part of his colon, he told his best friend, a retired teacher of English: "I now have a semi-colon."

I recently read a marvelous book The Last Laugh about dealing with illness and humor.

CLICK HERE to see the article about what NOT to say to people who are ill!

Monday, July 1, 2013


I saw written on the grocery list: "BIEGE DUCT TAPE". I said to Les, "You have beige misspelled." He said, "I thought it was I before E except after C." I laughed and said, "I think that's just for RECEIVE!"

Naturally, a "REFRIGERATOR GAME" (See old BLOG article HERE) began:



and my favorite addition: