MARCHELINE BERTRAND

My friend Patty let me know that she had lost her beloved cat Smokey Joe and I told her that our Calico Louise (twin sister of Thelma) was not doing well and I also mentioned Sasha Fierce, another cat. As we have unusual naming proclivities, Patty suggested that we name all future kittens after the Jolie-Pitt brood. I said, "Pax, Max, Rax; what the Hell are those kids names?" Of course Patty knew that I knew and I knew that she knew that I knew the names of that brood!

I usually preface these revelations with: "I'm EMBARRASSED I know that." or "Don't tell anybody I KNOW that!"

In relating the exchange to Les, he said, "Well, Knox and Vivienne are nice names." I shrieked, as usual, "I'm embarrassed I know that!" Les said, "She named the girl after her mother." I said, "Oh, no, her mother's name was MARCHELINE BERTRAND." (I even pronounced it Frenchy-like!)

Les said, "This must stop--you know Angelina Jolie's mother's name!" I responded, sheepishly, "Her LATE mother."

I asked, "WHY do we retain such useless information? I don't remember Einstein's Theory of Relativity or Boyle's Third Law, but I knew them when I had Physics with Hubert M. Amstutz, Jr., whose father was Dr. Hubert M. Amstutz who was an otolaryngologist." WHY do I remember Mr. Amstutz's father's medical specialty and not particulars of Einstein and Boyle?

Les said he was going to call Dr. Drew to see if there were an intervention available for for this problem.