PARAPROSDOKIAN SENTENCE: A FIGURE OF SPEECH WHICH USES AN UNEXPECTED ENDING TO A SENTENCE OR PHRASE.
Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Ø War does not determine who is right; only who is left.
Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Ø Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Ø Some people are like Slinkies; not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:", I put "DOCTOR".
Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it, so I asked, "Implants?"
Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
Ø I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
The holiday is a celebration of Mexican culture, of food, music, beverage and customs unique to Mexico.
Cinco de Mayo honors the bravery and victory of Texas-born General Zaragoza's outnumbered militia against the French at the Battle of Puebla in 1862.
Celebrating Cinco de Mayo has become increasingly popular in the United States, especially in areas with a high Mexican population.
The Sailor Pictured Below Is
Navy Petty Officer PO 2
(Petty Officer, Second Class)
EOD2
(Explosive Ordnance Disposal, Second Class)
MIKE MONSOOR
April 5, 1981 ~ September 29, 2009
Mike Monsoor
Was awarded The Congressional Medal Of Honor For giving his life in Iraq as he jumped on, and covered with his body, a live hand grenade saving the lives of a large group of Navy Seals who were passing by.
During Mike Monsoor's funeral, At Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery, in San Diego, California, and as the six pallbearers removed the rosewood casket from the hearse, lined up on each side of Mike Monsoor's casket, were his family members, friends, fellow sailors, and other mourners.
The line of people continued from the hearse all the way to the grave site. What the group didn't know at the time was, every Navy Seal (45 To Be Exact) that Mike Monsoor saved that day was scattered throughout the assembly.
As the pallbearers carried the casket past the line of people to the grave site, the line would form a column which followed behind.
Each time the casket passed a Navy Seal, each Navy Seal would remove his gold Trident Pin from his uniform, and slap it down hard, causing the pin to embed itself into the top of the wooden casket.
Then each Navy Seal would step back and salute.
For those who don't know what a Trident Pin is, here is the definition:
After one completes the Basic Navy Seals Program which lasts for three weeks, and is followed by Seal Qualification Training, which is 15 additional weeks of training, necessary to learn new Tactics and Techniques, required for an assignment to a Navy Seal Platoon after successful completion, trainees are given their Naval Enlisted Code, and are awarded The Navy Seal Trident Pin. With the Gold Trident Pin they are officially Navy Seals.
It was said, that one could hear each of the 45 slaps from across the cemetery.
By the time the casket reached the grave site, it looked as if there were a gold inlay from the 45 Trident Pins that lined the top of the casket.
This Was A Fitting End To An Eternal Farewell For A Warrior Hero.
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!! They put in a correction the next day.
I just couldn't help but sending this along, it's too funny..
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No crap, really? Ya think?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
My friend posted an article on her BLOG about her grandmother's ration books from World War II. I said, sheepishly, "I have MY ration book from WWII." Yes, I AM older than dirt!
During World War II, one could not walk into a store to buy as much coffee, sugar, butter or meat which one wanted, nor could one fill up the car with gasoline. The government introduced rationing because many items were in short supply and with the Declaration Of War, the economy shifted to war production and consumer goods took a back seat to the needs of the military.
In May, 1942 The U.S. Office Of Price Administration (OPA) froze prices on practically all everyday goods starting with sugar and coffee. War Ration Books and coins were issued to all families describing how much gasoline, tires, meat, silk, shoes, and nylons that one person could purchase. 8,000 Rationing Boards were created to assess the families' rationing requirements. Cookbooks were even revised to adjust recipes to rationing.
TYPES OF RATIONING:
UNIFORM COUPON RATIONING: provided equal shares of a single commodity (e.g.: sugar) to all consumers.
POINT RATIONING: Provided equal shares of commodities (e.g.: meat, cheese, processed foods) by coupons issued for points which could be used as a combination or in a group.
DIFFERENTIAL COUPON RATIONING: Provided shares of a single product (e.g.: gasoline, fuel oil) according to varying needs.
CERTIFICATE RATIONING: Allowed individual products (e.g.: tires, cars, stoves, typewriters) only after an application demonstrated the need.
How FORTUNATE are we today, with two wars being waged, not to have rationing?
Learning A Word A Day:
diktat
PRONUNCIATION:
(dik-TAT)
MEANING:
noun:
1. An order or decree imposed without popular consent.
2. A harsh settlement imposed upon a defeated party.
ETYMOLOGY:
From German Diktat (command, order, dictation), from Latin dictatum (something dictated), from dictare (to dictate), frequentative of dicere (to say). Ultimately from the Indo-European root deik- (to show, to pronounce solemnly), which is also the source of words such as judge, verdict, vendetta, revenge, indicate, dictate, paradigm, interdict, and fatidic. Earliest documented use: 1922, in reference to the Treaty of Versailles of 1919, by Germany.
USAGE:
"Public participation in politics [in China] may not yet be approaching the raucousness in India, but it is equally incorrect to view the Chinese as obedient zombies silently following the State's every diktat."
Cultural Evolution; Hindustan Times (New Delhi, India); Dec 19, 2010.
A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life. -Albert Camus, writer, philosopher, Nobel laureate (1913-1960)
