NATIONAL READ A BOOK DAY

My best friend called.  

"What were you doing?"

 "Reading." 

"What? 

"Wrestling With His Angel."

"Oh, yeah, that new book about Lincoln."

"I liked his last one too."

"What's he trying to do;  be the Robert Caro of Lincoln?"

"Now THAT was really good!

"I have a good line now and then."

There's no need to identify who said WHAT to WHOM because we typically read the same kind of books, finish each other's sentences, and somewhere in the conversation, she will ask, "What new thing did you learn today?" because years ago, I condescendingly told someone that I learn something new every day, and she has never let me forget it!

"So, what new thing did you learn today?"

"That CAVEATING  is a word."

"What?"

"I was listening to Meet The Press and one of the pundits said 'caveating' and I screaked at Les, but when I looked online it IS acceptable!"

FLOOD PLAIN

CONVERSATION:

MONA LISA:  "Do you have flood insurance?"

SUE:                  "We're not eligible."

MONA LISA:   "Why?"

SUE:                   "We're not on a flood plain."

MONA LISA:    "What'a a flood plain?"

SUE:                    "It's low-lying land adjacent to a river and is subject to flooding."

MONA LISA:    "Has there ever been a flood here?"

SUE:                   "I remember one in 1962."

MONA LISA:    "Then why couldn't it happen again and why wouldn't there be insurance?"

SUE:                    "Insurance actuaries determine those things."

MONA LISA:    "With global warming, things might change and we could have a flood."

SUE:                   "I hope there will still be FEMA!"

RIGHT TO WORK IS WRONG

With the probability that the so-called "Right To Work" issue will be foisted upon Ohio voters, it is important to remember that RIGHT TO WORK IS WRONG!  With America's working families being under unprecedented attack, it is important to remember what unions have provided for all of us, not just union members.  From the eight-hour work day, child labor laws, pay equity, safe working conditions, sick leave, and numerous other benefits, unions have always stood for the rights of working people.

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THE WONDERS OF NATURE

My friend Mona Lisa sent the following article and the accompanying chart and wrote, "Aren't you glad that tomatoes are ALSO healthful?"

A tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All of the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.

A sliced carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris, and radiating lines look like the human eye and yes, science now shows that carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

A walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

Kidney beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

Celery, Bok Choy, rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

Avocadoes, eggplant and pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female; they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

Sweet potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries.

Oranges, grapefruits, and other citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

A JOY FOREVER

Was John Keats gazing on a "love apple" when he penned his immortal words "A thing of beauty is a joy forever."?

Today, as I was gazing on the object of my affection--a perfect tomato--I sighed, and quoted Keats.  My ever-witty brother asked, "How's it gonna be forever if you eat it?"

No photograph can perfectly capture the essence.  Ah, this Big Boy was delicious, but I do prefer the lovely Rutgers.

As I have written previously, the way I feel about tomatoes is immoral:  I lust after them. I have had enablers all my life: Mother always allowed me to have the first tomato of the season; my brother shares his first tomato of the season with me and, of course, I have friends who reward me with their bounty.

Tomatoes are indigenous to the New World; Aztecs cultivated and ate them. When the Spaniards took them to Europe in the sixteenth century, many thought they were poisonous. Tomatoes are in the same family as tobacco and the deadly mandrake. Some thought they were an aphrodisiac.

The French named tomatoes pommes d'amour--LOVE APPLES--and the French are always so succinct because I love tomatoes.

I want them hot from the garden; I will wash the dirt off--with hot water--and grab the salt shaker. As I say, "I never met a tomato I didn't like.", and this season has been splendid with family, and friends enabling my addiction.  I carry a salt shaker in the console of my car;  one never knows when one might encounter the object of one's obsession!

Oh, sadly, the season is nearly over and soon I will be cursing those "plastic" tomatoes in the grocery!

MY LEFT FOOT

I have had problems with my feet for years. After pounding concrete floors at work for more than forty years, I guess that should not be surprising.  I have been wearing "orthotics" and trying to find the "perfect shoe" all my life!

With a wedding to attend in September, I want to be able to wear a pretty pair of dress shoes rather than my omnipresent Mary Janes.   As my podiatrist had retired I decided to try a new podiatrist.   After discussing my issues, the new doctor said, "Roll up your pants and show me how you walk."  Naturally I thought about Monty Python's skit The Ministry Of Funny Walks (click on the YouTube sample) but  I resisted doing my best John Cleese impression.  

The doctor asked, "Have you always walked on your tippy-toes?"  I stifled a giggle at his use of the "tippy-toes" term, but answered, "I didn't know I was;  maybe I'm compensating for being short." He continued, "You are contracting your toes;  that's probably what's causing your pain."  I told him that my left foot hurt more than the right foot.

After the doctor's reviewing X-rays, his taping pads to my left foot, giving advice to roll both my feet on a frozen water bottle twice a day, and scheduling a return visit to probably measure for new orthotics, I left the office having some hope of relief. 

At home, whining about my feet, my brother quipped, "OK, Christy Brown.", which effectively put MY left foot problem in its proper perspective.

See Christy Brown posing with his self-portrait.  Brown, the Irish writer and artist, was afflicted with cerebral palsy, and was able to write, type, and paint ONLY with the toe on his LEFT FOOT.  If you have not seen the quintessential Daniel Day-Lewis' Academy Award-winning portrayal of Brown in the movie My Left Foot, I suggest you rent it from Netflix or borrow it from me.