GPS & PMS

In response to my BLOG article "GPS", I received another cartoon from one of my Facebook friends.

FOOTIES

I am not going to post on here about the common cold being caused by a virus as I have done other years. I am going to scream if I must tell one more person that I have a cold because of a virus and NOT because I do not wear SOCKS! Well, maybe not, since that screaming would probably hurt my already sore throat.

Today, I did put on footies for the first time in years to "pad around" the house. When we are expecting company, Gerald always reminds me to put on shoes. (Hey, you can take the girl out of the country, yada, yadda, yadda!)

By not wearing socks--I could risk frostbite and hypothermia-- but the dreaded cold is a virus which I have unfortunately passed on this week to my shoes-and-socks-wearing brother! Gerald has been immune so far.

Les mentioned that it hadn't been this cold in 25 years and at that time we were in Florida and he was left to care for the cats. He said, "I never told you but I brought the cats inside and put them in the basement." I said, "That's a great idea! Even though there's heat in the garage, it's certainly warmer in the basement!" Moving beds, bowls, litter boxes, etc., from the garage to the basement began and it was cute seeing Gerald and Les bringing in the children two by two! As Les was bringing in Puff all by himself, I asked, "Is that all, Noah?"

It was very amusing to see the "Magnificent 7" surveying their new territory! As everybody knows each cat has his/her bowl and bed!

REVERSALS

Here's a game we played at our dinner party:

From Richard Nordquist

REVERSALS: A palindrome is a word which reads the same backward and forward. However, if reading a word backward produces a different word, then that's what's known as a reversal or an inversion. For example, the word pairs mug-gum and star-rats are reversals.

Below are 10 pairs of definitions, each of which corresponds to a pair of reversals. To make it easy, each word contains 6 letters (An asterisk indicates either a hyphenated word or a two-word term.) Your job is to identify the reversal. Answers are below.

1. (a) Knives, forks, and ______.
(b) Pries in a sneaking or meddlesome manner.

2. (a) Committed an offense or fault.
(b) ______the Menace.

3. (a) Single-masted, rigged sailing vessels.
(b) Small cylinders on which thread or yarn is wound.

4. (a) To cause to grow together again.
(b) An itinerant mender of household utensils.

5. (a) One who refuses to grant something.
(b) Checked or halted a horse.


6. (a) Fills with resolution or determination.
(b) Frozen or partly frozen forms of rain.

7. (a) Children in school
(b) To make a mistake. *

8. (a) To laugh (a slang term) *
(b) Marked by the enthusiastic expression of college spirit.*

9. (a) Diversions or pastimes.
(b) Leather bands for sharpening razors.

10. (a) A 10-dollar bill.
(b) A substance that curdles milk.


ANSWERS:

1. SPOONS/SNOOPS
2. SINNED/DENNIS
3. SLOOPS/SPOOLS
4. REKNIT/TINKER
5. DENIER/REINED
6. STEELS/SLEETS
7. PUPILS/SLIP UP
8. HAR-HAR/RAH-RAH
9. SPORTS/STROPS
10. TENNER/RENNET

PURLOINED PACKAGES

For the past ten years we have had our Christmas cards "created"; it's a joint effort with my niece, Tracey, who is an artist, and my husband, who is a collaborator. Tracey had been making cards with either eagle or cardinal themes. Five years ago, I was inspired by our niece Carrie, who obviously takes great care in choosing her Christmas cards. (I always say, "Carrie sends the prettiest cards!") That year her card had, "From our home to your home" and it had depicted a beautiful Federal-style house with a winter scene. I asked Gerald, "Why don't you take a real picture of our house and use it on a card?" Snow had just fallen and the trees were covered with snow and it was indeed picturesque. Gerald took the picture.

Since then we've used Gerald's pictures of our marble fireplace, bubble lights, and a watercolor of the house which was a gift of a friend who grew up in our house. This year Tracey created a lovely collage of past Christmas cards, which was a suggestion of another friend.

Several years ago I decided, for our next card, to have a picture taken of the sleigh on our porch filled with pretend presents. I wrapped an assortment of packages in different sizes with blue and silver paper and coordinating bows. I filled the boxes with newspapers and magazines for ballast.

I thought that I had them arranged quite expertly for photographic effect, just waiting for Gerald to take pictures. However, silly me, before Gerald had the opportunity to take pictures, a thief came onto our porch and stole the packages!

We didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Did the thief actually think I had put actual presents in those boxes? I hope that the thief enjoyed the papers and magazines! I do hate it that I lost the bows, because several of the bows were exquisite, and hand-made by Tracey.

Several people asked if I reported it to the police. What was I going to say? That a thief stole a bunch of weeks-old newspapers that would have been recycled?

In my after-Christmas shopping at Meijer's yesterday, I bought a perfect 4-roll pack of blue and silver paper! Yes, I'm going to try again! Perhaps the cats can guard the packages! On Stormy, on Puff, on Einstein, Louise, Sasha, on Professor, and little Taupey! (Oh, I'm confusing the cats with A Visit From Saint Nicholas!)

A TASTE OF HONEY

E-MAIL FROM PATTY:

I must confess I have been keeping a long-hidden secret from you. I thought it was over until I saw a picture of him in today’s paper. The old palpitations and goose bumps started once again. Yes, I was a full-fledged Herb Alpert fan and followed him wherever he was. I bought every album, joined the fan club, met him and got his autograph. Elvis didn’t know about my other love.

Did you have a back-up to Elvis? No one is really a back-up because Elvis was on a much higher human level. Don’t say Bob Dylan, or I’ll gag. I mean a handsome back-up.

MY ANSWER:

I bought some Tupelo honey for Gerald; it's his favorite and I can only find it locally at an "Amish" store. I love the song Tupelo Honey which was written and performed by Van Morrison. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Van Morrison but my favorite version of Tupelo Honey is by Richie Havens.

As I was getting ingredients ready to prepare baked parsnips, I asked Les, "Will you get down the honey?" as it is on a shelf too high for me to reach. Les handed it to me and started to sing A Taste Of Honey. I screaked, "Patty just wrote to me how she adored Herb Alpert." Les answered, "I just saw a thing about him in the Sunday paper."

Thus began an afternoon of Alpert-mania (listen here for A Taste Of Honey).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELVIS!

Yes, it's that time of year again; time to post my HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELVIS greeting.

JANUARY 8, 1935: Elvis would have been 79!

As a teeny-bopper, I was the world's most devoted Elvis Presley fan. When I was thirteen, I even went to the beautician Evelyn Evans to have my hair cut like Elvis'. My bedroom was completely covered with Elvis Presley pictures. Every time a new song was released, several of us Elvis fans would listen to the record over and over to be able to write down the lyrics to be able to sing along. My greatest artistic achievement was to sing along and gyrate as Elvis did when he sang "Trouble" from the movie "King Creole". As the years passed, I would always watch his god-awful movies and buy whatever records were released, and I never lost the love for him, but by the sixties I was "into" folk, protest music, and jazz and although I went to see him in concert in 1973, my passion had subsided. I attributed it to "growing up". In 1973, we went to Graceland and stood outside the gates and took pictures of the gates, but this was before his death and the tours; after the tours started we went to Memphis to see inside Graceland. I was disturbed because his grave marker has "Elvis Aaron Presley" and I know that's wrong because it's really Elvis Aron Presley as the Aron rhymes with the middle name of his twin Jesse Garon Presley. I bought the commemorative stamps and sent out "first day cancellations" on January 8 to my fellow Elvis fans.

Several years after Elvis' death, my brother called me on January 8, and said, "Hey, they're having an Elvis trivia contest and you should call in and win." I tuned in and one had to be the 3rd caller; the questions were very easy but I couldn't get through to answer. Then a question came which nobody called to answer. I dialed the number and answered the question, "What was Elvis' serial number in the Army?" I answered, "U.S. 53310761." The DJ asked, "How on earth did you know that?" I told him that after Elvis was drafted, there was a girl group--The Threeteens--which had a song entitled "Dear 53310761" which I have, and then I proceeded to sing the song! I also told him that there were at least 25 songs recorded ABOUT Elvis. I also told him that it was "U.S." rather than "R.A." because "U.S." is used for draftees and "R.A." is used for enlisted people. I think that was entirely TMI as he then told me about my prize and shut me down.

What did I win? ALL of Elvis' records! Of course, I already had all of Elvis' records. I gave them as a present to my brother who is also an Elvis fan.

Now I have an "Elvis shrine" at Christmas: I have a tree full of Elvis ornaments which I surround with Elvis collectibles. This past Christmas my friend Arminta gave me an Elvis Christmas stocking which is shaped like Elvis' white satin jumpsuit pant leg and boot. It has a button when pushed plays "Blue Christmas". I send Elvis Christmas cards to all of my friends who are also Elvis devotees. I'm sad that I never met him.