Elvis Aron Presley: born January 8, 1935. WOW! The King would have been 82! As the world's greatest Elvis fan. below is an article I wrote in 2013 titled MY 15-YEAR-OLD SELF As I was decorating for Christmas, I was rearranging books in my library to make room for my "Elvis Shrine". Tucked inside my Latin II book, I found something I'd written when I was 15 years old. It was a rough draft for a contest I recalled that I had entered. Obviously I worked on other interests while I was supposed to be doing schoolwork. (In Omnia Paratus indeed!)
As an ardent Elvis fan, I listened to a local radio program and there would be contests with one of those "Be the third caller and you'll win the prize" gambits.
I was never able to win any of those, but several times, when one had to write in to the program to be able to win, I won several times. The prizes were always the same: 2 tickets to the Fayette Theater.
Elvis' fourth movie King Creole had been released and several of my classmates had gone to Columbus to see it. Imagine--being able to go to the big city--to the Lowe's Theater to see THE KING. Full of envy, I listened to every word as they described the movie. We--the less fortunate--would have to wait for what seemed like forever for the movie to be shown in Washington Court House and even then, I wondered how could I get the money--or a way--to go. Previously, my brother Gary and his wife had lived in town and I would go there and stay overnight and my sister-in-law and I would go to see the movies with the tickets I had won. By the time King Creole was released they'd already moved to the country.
The contest to win tickets for King Creole was announced and the contest required that one write a letter entitled "Dear Elvis" using the titles of Elvis' songs in the text. My submission was read on the air and afterwards I was teased mercilessly by my brothers and classmates about my submission. My cousin's wife took me to see the movie.
As I was looking at the rough draft, I noticed that I had the songs numbered; I didn't recall all the contest rules but it must have required a certain number of songs or number of words to be used. I cringed at what my 15-year-old self had written, but I showed it to my brother. He is usually caustic and sarcastic but he said, sincerely, "Aww, it's sweet; I never knew you were sweet." I answered, "I think it shows what a naif I was." He said, "It was probably every girl's fantasy to think she was Elvis' girlfriend." I am nine years older than my brother, and although he knows me better than nearly anyone else, of course he did not remember that naive 15-year-old as he was only 6 at the time. He said, "You were so competitive that you had to be the one who knew every damn song; so you haven't changed THAT much; paragraph five is pretty good."
The following was written by my 15-year-old self--it's even signed "Phyllis"--as I was known in school: (Elvis' songs are capitalized}
Dear Elvis:
1. In my imagination, I have YOUNG DREAMS that TOMORROW NIGHT you can put on your BLUE SUEDE SHOES and I can take the MYSTERY TRAIN down to NEW ORLEANS and we can go to the KING CREOLE night club, where we can have a HOT DOG, some TUTTI FRUTTI, and CRAWFISH, so LET'S HAVE A PARTY with MAYBELLINE, DANNY, and LONG TALL SALLY.
2. HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY if I had ONE NIGHT with you, I would be ALL SHOOK UP, but JUST BECAUSE I gave you a TEDDY BEAR, it doesn't mean I am ALMOST IN LOVE. There might be some TROUBLE because YOU'RE A HEARTBREAKER, but THAT'S ALL RIGHT because I'm PLAYING FOR KEEPS.
3. Elvis, DON'T BE CRUEL, because it will be THE END OF THE ROAD you FOOL, FOOL, FOOL, if I FORGOT TO REMEMBER TO FORGET. I JUST CAN'T MAKE IT BY MYSELF but if we were at HEARTBREAK HOTEL on BLUEBERRY HILL, I won't be a HARD HEADED WOMAN, because I'M BEGINNING TO FORGET YOU!
4. DONCHA THINK IT'S TIME for you to TREAT ME NICE because I'm LOVING YOU? It's NOW OR NEVER; after all, THAT'S MY DESIRE! TELL ME WHY that IT IS SO STRANGE , but IT IS NO SECRET that IT WOULDN'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU so LET ME be your LOVER DOLL and that will be MY HAPPINESS!
5. If you're worried about being a POOR BOY, I don't need any MONEY HONEY, I just want TRUE LOVE! You know, IT'S BEEN SO LONG, DARLING; this seems like a ONE-SIDED LOVE AFFAIR unless you LOVE ME TENDER. If you said WON'T YOU WEAR MY RING AROUND YOUR NECK, that's when MY WISH CAME TRUE. I said THAT'S ALL RIGHT because I WANT YOU, I NEED YOU, I LOVE YOU!
6. This might be TOO MUCH, but THIS TIME I'll be THE FIRST IN LINE, but DON'T have a HEART OF STONE because you are the KEEPER OF THE KEY and I'M COUNTING ON YOU.
7. If THERE'S NO TOMORROW, put your CRAZY ARMS around me, you BROWN-EYED HANDSOME MAN, because I JUST CAN'T MAKE IT BY MYSELF and I've GOT A LOT OF LIVIN' TO DO! I DON'T CARE IF THE SUN DON'T SHINE because I BELIEVE that you know that I will always be STEADFAST, LOYAL, AND TRUE and I'LL NEVER STAND IN YOUR WAY.
8. I'M GONNA SIT RIGHT DOWN AND CRY OVER YOU if you say BABY, I DON'T CARE and I WANT TO BE FREE and I'VE GOT A WOMAN and WE'RE GONNA MOVE.
9. Although I'm a HARD-HEADED WOMAN, I do UNDERSTAND, but HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL; am I OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND?
10. I'M BEGINNING TO FORGET YOU because I'm looking at that BLUE MOON OF KENTUCKY and knowing THAT'S WHEN YOUR HEARTACHES BEGIN.
I swear that my friend Mona Lisa thinks that Dawn detergent is the answer to everything. As I have razzed her about her obsession, one of my Christmas presents from her was a bottle of Dawn wrapped in a copy of "28 Uses For Dawn Detergent" she had printed from the internet. You can download it also or watch the YouTube video here:
I admit that years ago I was impressed when I saw birds being cleansed with Dawn detergent after oil spills, and that a doctor advised cleansing a wound with Dawn, but yesterday Mona Lisa called to tell me that I needed to mix 1 teaspoon of Dawn, 1 tablespoon rubbing alcohol with 1/2 gallon warm water and then spread it on my freezing door steps and walkways; she swears they will not refreeze. She said, "Think of all the money you'll save on salt and the Dawn won't hurt your concrete". OK, I'll try it. Here are Mona Lisa's faves from the top 28 I shall also try: 1. Make an ice pack with Dawn. It supposedly stays much colder than other ice packs, can be refrozen, and conforms to affected areas. This means that I could discard that bag of frozen, mushy peas. 2. Put a drop on eyeglass lenses; supposedly prevents them from fogging. 3. Apply as a lubricant to hinges, doorknobs, etc. 4. Eliminating fleas from pets. 5. Repelling pests from plants. 6. Unclogging toilets. 7. Repel ants; spray counter tops and cupboards with solution of Dawn and water; wipe away excess; soapy residue supposedly kills ants. If you see ants, just spray them.
8. She swears that a mixture of 3 drops of Dawn in a gallon of water works better than Windex.
The Coordinator of a local organization where I volunteer is named Chiquita.
Today a man approached me and said, "I'm supposed to see someone named Chiquita." He did not have a pleasant persona and I immediately disliked his demeanor. I asked, "How do you know I'm not Chiquita?"
He replied, disdainfully, "You look like a Lisa."
Like a Lisa? How absurd is that? Naturally (well, "naturally" for ME), I began singing I'm Not Lisa. Listen to Jessi Colter's version:
The man was obviously not amused and I directed him to Chiquita's office. He asked, "Do you think she'll sing to me too?" I answered, "I'm sure she knows all the words to her namesake song!" Later, I mentioned the conversation to my brother and he asked, "How many times have you heard people say that someone doesn't look like a doctor, or a lawyer, or a cop, for example?" I laughed and said, "I am guilty of that! I actually said that someone looked like a cop!" But, naturally, (and again, it's "naturally" for me!) I knew that I was being absurdly stereotypical to say something like that!
Below is one of my favorite articles I have written about him. From 2010, it's titled: AUTODIDACT
One of my nephews called me with a problem he was having in his manufacturing engineering class at college. I told him that I couldn't help him as I was abysmally ignorant of the area and he said that he figured I would have had that kind of issue at work. I laughed and answered, "I had engineers to figure out that stuff FOR me!" I told him that he should call his Uncle Duke. He said, "But Uncle Duke didn't go to college." I said, "Well, he's the smartest guy I know about that kind of stuff." I then told him that Uncle Duke was an autodidact and my nephew said he didn't know what that meant and I told him that it meant "self-taught"; Michael, another nephew, was visiting and he overheard the conversation.
A few weeks later, in talking to my nephew, he stated, "Boy, that Uncle Duke is smart!" He had indeed called my brother with the problem and my brother was able to help solve it.
A couple of months after that, Michael and his girlfriend were visiting and Michael was telling her about the different members of the family who were expecting to play poker that evening and I heard Michael say, "Yeah, my Uncle Duke is an autodidact!" What a pleasure to hear him explain to her the meaning of "autodidact".
It's good to know they can still learn something! It reminds me of the Mark Twain story of how at the age of 16 Mark couldn't believe how DUMB his parents were, but by the time he reached 21 he couldn't believe how SMART they had become!
FOOTNOTE: Famous Autodidacts (culled from THE AUTODIDACTS HALL OF FAME)
Louisa May Alcott Henry Ford
Woody Allen Benjamin Franklin
Hans Christian Anderson Robert Frost
Maya Angelou Bill Gates
Alexander Graham Bell Ernest Hemingway
Elizabeth Barrett Browning Steven Jobs
Truman Capote George Washington
Grover Cleveland Abraham Lincoln
Walter Cronkite Malcolm X
Charles Dickens William McKinley
Walt Disney James Monroe
Bob Dylan Florence Nightingale
Thomas Edison Edgar Allen Poe
Albert Einstein John D. Rockefeller
My friend Lee was wearing a gorgeous outfit and a person younger than the two of us complimented the outfit and Lee told how old the outfit was and said, ""I've got clothes older than you." I laughed and said, "I had a picture of myself taken in this very sweater in 1981."
The picture on the left was taken in 1981 at my stand-up desk on the manufacturing floor at International Harvester. In the picture below, I am wearing the same sweater. It was taken in my library, using my laptop, while writing this article. This is my "blue week"; people who know me know that I wear the same color all week. I began that practice in the 1970s because my work schedule was very demanding and I couldn't face making wardrobe decisions at 4:30 AM! It made it much easier to have the wardrobe and accessories planned and hung in the closet for the entire week; I would always say, "Ready for assembly.", a play on words for my work life, when I was ready for the work day. I often say my closet looks like a Salvation Army store because I emulate them by having all of my clothes hung according to colors.
At a party recently a friend said, "That's new; I haven't seen it before." I said, "This is an R and K Originals dress; I wore it to a party at Rockwell in the 1980s." R and K Originals was a brand that I thought was the ultimate in chic because, when I was a teengaer, my best friend's mother wore the brand often, and I thought she bought only "the best"; in an article about the history of the company it states: "For the girl who knows clothes. was the motto of R and K Originals, a New York clothing company on Broadway that was established in 1932, that sold fashionable and well-made, but affordable and moderately-priced clothing." (The italics are mine, as I thought they were EXPENSIVE clothes!) Obviously the clothes weren't the "height of fashion" as I thought them to be when I was that impressionable teenager, although they were sold at Lazarus in the 1950s and 1960s and also when I bought mine in the 1980s. See the labels change from the 1930s and 1940s (when it was "Original") to the 1950s (when it was "Originals" and the label from my dress from the 1980s
R and K Originals are now sold by JC Penney. When I told my brother this, he said, "Oh, how have the mighty fallen! I guess that's the difference between chic and chi chi."
Yesterday, I drove my elderly client to her beauty shop appointment and accompanied her inside. The hairdresser operates the shop out of her home. I was literally--not figuratively--SHOCKED to enter an actual HOARDERS' place. I have seen hoarders on television, but it was indeed shocking to see it in person. We entered through the back door and as we passed through the kitchen, a dog was constantly yapping around my feet. I could not see any counter space because of all the stuff piled there; the table and chairs were completely covered with paper, magazines, and food boxes; the place where I thought the sink must be located was piled with pots, pans, and dishes, stacked up to the middle of a window. When we went into the "salon" part, on one side of the room there were newspapers piled at least 4 feet high and STUFF strewn all over the room. There was another client under the hair dryer. The place did not appear to be filthy, just unbelievably cluttered and dusty. Later, I asked my client, "I can see HOW this could happen if one were alone in the world with no outside contact, but how can she operate a business like that?" My client told me that she had been fixing her hair for 30 years and had operated a salon downtown for many years but she just takes care of several elderly clients nowadays. As my client has an immaculate home, I asked, "How can you stand to go there?" She said it was difficult but the price was good and she liked the way she styled her hair. Shall I try one more time to follow my New Year's Resolutions from several years to DE-CLUTTER? I had a modicum of success in 2016; we had a fundraiser rummage sale to benefit our local political headquarters. I promised Les that I would NOT bring anything back home. We packed up the remainder and took it to a local auction house. In surveying one of our spare bedrooms today, I notice we have a collection of STUFF there. Having the wits scared out of me by the hoarders home, I began packing! When I told my best friend about the hoarders house, she said, "The difference is that all your clutter is organized!" I said, "As Mother used to say.........". She didn't allow me to finish, just laughed and said, "Yes, Gladys, a place for everything, etc." (She and I call each other by the names of our mothers when we sound like them!) Below is a BLOG article which I published in 2010 titled: A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE When people marry, it should be a law that one of them should possess the ability to get rid of "stuff"! Unfortunately, this is not the case in my marriage. Both of us find it difficult to discard anything. "You never know, I might need that", is a typical refrain when it's suggested by one to the other that one could dispose of something.
My brother and I were saying that we never thought that we would sound like our mother, but we do. If I heard my mother say, "A place for everything and everything in its place" once, I heard it a million times in my lifetime. My brother and I call each other "Gladys" when we sound like our mother which happens frequently the older we get. One of my brothers is able to get rid of stuff, but another one is like me. My New Year's Resolution for this year, as it has been for the past nine years, is to "get rid of STUFF"! The past nine years have been unsuccessful, but since January 4, 2010, I have taken two bags to Goodwill!
When my husband and I retired, several people asked if we were going to "downsize" and I always answered that it would take me ten years to move. People oftentimes ask me why we live in such a large house and I readily admit that I have a bit (others say a lot) of OCD. On one hand, I can't get rid of stuff, but on the other, I can't stand clutter. All of my end tables, coffee tables and other pieces of furniture are chests--for storage--to prevent "clutter". My husband is not bothered by clutter. When I see the horror stories on television of those "hoarders", my heart goes out to them because I think that they just need "more room", instead of my brother's opinion that they are just plain nuts. To ensure harmonious relations between my husband and myself, years ago we came to an agreement: the house is MINE and the two 2-car garages, workshop, attic, and basement are HIS as far as "clutter" is concerned. The house is free of clutter. When I go to one of his areas, I cannot stay very long because of the clutter. I have not been to one of his garages since 1984; I know there are two vehicles in there because I can see them through the door window. I've been to the basement twice this past year and to the attic once.
This past summer, he built a storage shed because he didn't have enough room for "stuff"; he did a very good job on the shed, but I do notice that some of the things he said that he was going to put in the shed are still in the yard.
On the other hand, recycling is practically a religion with him. One day in Chillicothe, he saw a 2x6x12 board fall from a truck and he ran after it, picked up the board and brought it home with him! I asked, "Are you going to cut that up for firewood?" and he said, "This is worth $30.00; if I can't use it for something, your brother can!" You just gotta love him. After investigation, he told me it would be worth about $5.00.
Recently, Wayne, a former co-worker of mine, emailed me to ask me about the last name of the person named "Eddie" in the "RK" article. I couldn't think of it immediately, but I knew that I would have the information in file cabinets from 1982-1988. Climbing up those attic steps, I thought, "Am I out of my mind?" because I had had to take file cabinets to the attic, because I'd run out of room downstairs and they were now in his "Clutter Zone", but when I located Eddie Sharp's name and photograph, it gave me such great pleasure to e-mail Wayne with the information and to reflect on the happiest times of my work life.
