IN THIS DAY AND AGE

In the 2,510 articles I have written since beginning Sue's News in 2010, I have written about anti-Semitism numerous times.  I am particularly dismayed by the times I have heard anti-Semitic remarks from people in my own community.  When I expressed that chagrin to my brother, he said that he didn't know why I would be surprised.  I countered with, "How many Jews do you think they have even met?"  He said, "You seem to be under the impression that their ignorance has some logic."

Today, after a medical procedure, a nurse and I were chatting and she told me that her daughter had an automobile accident and that she had damaged some guardrails;  she related that the insurance agent had told her not to pay outright to the county but to send the bill to the insurance company to negotiate.   Then she actually said, "I suppose he could Jew 'em down."  Taken aback, I had a sudden gasp of breath and said, "You didn't just say that, did you?"    Here's the following exchange between her and me:

She said, "I've always used that term."  
I asked, "You don't realize it's offensive?"
She said, "My parents always said it."
I answered, "Then they were always offensive too."
Defensively, she said, "Well, maybe in this day and age it is."
I replied, "It was offensive in ANY day and age."

Then, she gave gave the classic non-apology:  "I'm sorry if you were offended."  I ignored the lack of a true apology.

I don't know which is more offensive:  her anti-Semitism or the fact that she didn't realize that her lack of a true apology is beyond her comprehension to understand.  Should I bother explaining to her that she was trying to place the burden on me?  

Instead, I asked, "How many Jews do you know?"  She said she didn't actually know any.  I said, "In my entire life, I have never practiced any of the tactics you just ascribed to people of that particular ethnic group."   You might be thinking that was a lot for me to have said in that impromptu situation, but in fact, that response is a well-practiced comeback used by me in the many times I have heard that particular slur and stereotype.

As I was leaving, she said, "Once again, I want to say I'm sorry if you were offended."  I was seething, and I answered, "THAT is NOT an apology.  An apology would be that you say that YOU are sorry that YOU were offensive."  She said, "That's what I said!"  I answered, "NO, in your passive-aggressive behavior, you tried to shift the onus on me and said you were sorry IF I were offended."  She said she didn't see the difference.  I said, "Well, the difference is HUGE!"

I even uttered the word "huge" in the manner of the current resident of the White House who is guilty of that same kind of ignorance.