MENDING FENCES

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my husband.  The article below is from Sue's News, published in 2010. It is still my favorite story about my husband.

 

        MY FAVORITE STORY ABOUT MY HUSBAND

When we moved into our home in 1984, I was aware that our back-door neighbor was Bob Mace, one of our County Commissioners.

At the time, my husband still had his hippie long hair.  Shortly after we had moved in, Gerald was outside, tearing down a rotted fence.  He was dressed in shorts, muscle shirt, and flip-flops, with his hair tied in a pony tail. 

Gerald came in the house and told the following story:  Mr. Mace had leaned across the fence and asked him, "How much do they pay you for that kind of work?"  Gerald said that he answered, "Oh, they don't pay me anything, but the lady of the house lets me sleep with her."

I screaked, "Oh, no, tell me you didn't say that!  What did he say?  Do you think he believed you?"   I was incredulous and asked, "Why on earth did you say that?  You usually have good manners."   Gerald said, "I didn't give the old fart a chance to answer;  I thought he was condescending so I wanted to shock him!" 

The next evening, Mr. Mace and his wife came to the door, with a pan of apple strudel, and said they wanted to welcome us to the neighborhood.  I invited them to come in and visit.  Mr. Mace had obviously checked the voter registration roll as he said, "We just wanted to welcome some good Democrats to the neighborhood."

I told him that we had always voted for him.  He proceeded to ask where we worked, etc. When he asked about my "hubby", I said, "You actually met him yesterday;  let me tell him that you're here; he'll be glad to see you again!" Gerald was not aware that the Maces had come to welcome the "good Democrats" to the neighborhood

I went to the staircase and yelled for Gerald to come down.  Gerald came bounding down the stairs with his hippie hair bouncing freely.

Mr. Mace began to apologize to Gerald but Gerald stopped him mid-sentence by saying, "I've already told the story ten times and I'll probably tell it a hundred more!"  

Gerald also told him that the quote wasn't original but that Carl Rowan had said it to a neighbor who was quizzing him when he moved into an upscale neighborhood in Cleveland.

Gerald said, "If you're going to swipe something, make sure it's a good quote!"

Over the years, whenever I have told this story, I say that it was ALMOST worth the price of the house to see the priceless expression on Bob Mace's face when he saw the one who slept with the lady of the house.