"IN A PICKLE"

My friend Patty was recalling Penny, one of our favorite Team Leaders at BMY. Whenever Penny came to me or Patty with a problem she would always say, "I'm in a pickle." I think it was amusing because it didn't seem like something a young person would say.

The first time Penny ever said it to me, I said, "Come here, my little gherkin, and we'll see what we can do." She did not know what a gherkin was! After that, each time Penny would use the phrase, I would try to name a different kind of pickle. One time I asked Patty for a suggestion for a pickle and that was how I learned that Tony Packo's pickles were real.

During all the years when we would watch M*A*S*H and Klinger would mention Tony Packo's Pickles, I just assumed it was a made-up name (like Adam's Ribs in Chicago). When she told me about Tony Packo's, I thought that she was putting me on, but I soon learned that Kroger actually stocked Tony Packo's Pickles and that Tony Packo's is a famous restaurant in Toledo (Klinger and Jamie Farr's hometown).

Gerald and I have a deal: whenever I want to go to a museum, we also plan a trip to see a car event nearby (click here to read IT'S A DOOZEY about our trip to the Duesenberg/Cord/ Auburn Museum in Auburn, Indiana, when I wanted to go to the Toledo Museum Of Art).

After visiting the car museum and the art museum, there was only one place I wanted to go to eat: TONY PACKO'S!

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU....

I seldom go inside my bank as I usually just use the drive-through window but today I needed to go inside to complete some paperwork. While in there I decided to get some cash.

As I was waiting for an available teller, I noticed that nearly all of the cups they use for lollipops had only yellow suckers in them.

As I took a sucker, I said, "WOW, my favorite is lemon." The teller said, "By the end of the day, they will all be lemon; people always pick all the other flavors."

I said, "When life gives you suckers, pick a lemon one."

HAPPY JULY 4TH

In a letter from John Adams to Abigail Adams on July 3, 1776, he wrote how we should celebrate Independence Day: "I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires, and Illuminations from one end of this Continent to the other from this time forward forever more. You will think me transported with Enthusiasm, which I am not. I am well aware of the Toil and Blood and Treasure, that it will cost us to maintain this Declaration, and support and defend these States. Yet, through all the Gloom, I see the Rays of ravishing Light and Glory. I see that the End is more than worth the Means and that Posterity will triumph in that Day's Transaction, even altho we should rue it, which I trust in God we shall not."

DOUBLE-CLASP

During the wait in line at the Hillary Clinton book-signing, my friend and I demonstrated to several people Bill Clinton's "double-clasp" hand shake.

Several years ago, on a rope line after a speech, when he began to shake my hand, President Clinton placed his other hand atop my hand, all the while looking at me directly in the eyes. He did all THAT in a few seconds. And, YES, during those fleeting seconds, I did feel that I was the only person in the room. My friend was right beside me and she reported to me that she felt the same way.

Read the article HERE "HANDSHAKE HOW TO" about the importance of a good handshake. To quote the author: "For example, Bill Clinton is regarded by many experts as one of the best hand shakers in the business. When he shakes hands with people he pulls them into his personal space and holds their gaze until he finally moves on to the next handshake. In this way Clinton quickly creates a rapport by making eye contact with people while holding their gaze. Holding people's gaze slightly longer than is typical is one of the attributes that make people view Clinton as one of the most charismatic presidents. By holding his looks a fraction of a second longer, Clinton makes people feel important and valued. This is a very delicate and precise technique to perfect and he has mastered it."

President Clinton reminds me of Lyndon Johnson who called his technique of charming people "pressing the flesh".

MRS. CLINTON

A friend and I stood in line for hours, moving at a gastropod's pace, to meet Hillary Clinton, and to have her autograph her new book Hard Choices. We knew it was just a book-signing and did not expect much contact with her, thus we were pleased that she thanked us for coming and reached out to shake our hands. Although I have seen her in person previously, I had not been in very close proximity. Her hand is small compared to mine and her complexion is nice. She appeared to be well relaxed; her hair looked very nice; and she was dressed in red. The security was strict (see the rules below).

Before the event, we had eaten at a nearby restaurant and while there we heard that there were protesters outside the bookstore. I told my friend, "Just keep me civilized", because I have been known to engage in some contretemps with protesters at other events.

While in line, a woman walked up to us and screaked about Mrs. Clinton having voted for the war in Iraq. My friend--who was supposed to keep me civilized--yelled back at her about who had started the war. (My friend reminded me to "be kind" in my reporting about her reaction to the protester.)

The protestor was wearing a blue, long-sleeved blouse which displayed "gaposis" (blouse too tight across the bosom, causing a gap) and I noticed that she was somewhat buck-toothed, but in that moment, I couldn't decide if she looked like Bugs Bunny--she wasn't pretty enough to look like Jessica Rabbit--and then I thought, "The Velveteen Rabbit!" As I have never believed in--nor engaged in any personal attacks with anybody--I wasn't about to be mean and call attention to her physical being.

I said, "Now, you just go away; be a nice girl, just go home." She said, "Listen, sister, just ask me a question; ask me a question." I responded, "Don't call me sister, just go away, there's no way I could be related to you, you SILLY WABBIT!" She tried to continue her rant, but I kept treating her with derision and saying "YOU SILLY WABBIT", while waving my hand dismissively. After I had said it, I realized I'd been quoting the Trix cereal advertisement. I wondered if she gleaned my "rabbit reference". Fortunately, she went to another section to irritate them.

What's the famous quote about a good defense? Nah, DISDAIN is the best defense AND offense!

Before that incident, I had been talking only to my friend but after the incident, a young woman named Kelly who is a nurse at the VA, who was there with her daughter Addison, joined in our conversation, and we had a joyous time after that. We met Dino, a Tool & Die Maker, and his wife and friends, and a number of other enjoyable people.

At times, we Democrats all have the feeling that we are the "only ones"; it was great being surrounded by more than a thousand (my ticket number was 879) like-minded individuals. It was thrilling to see the diversity of people and especially delightful was seeing the number of parents who had brought their children.

My friend gave up her chance to see Ziggy Marley in concert!

HORSE PARKING

Is there any more excruciating pain than that of listening to somebody who thinks he's amusing when he's just plain annoying?

At the City Council meeting, one of the Council members regularly attempts to crack wise.

There was a Second Reading of an ordinance to amend an ordinance which would allow residential use in the second and third floors of downtown business structures, eliminating the required number of off-street parking spaces.

When the Council President asked if there were any discussion regarding the ordinance, the jocularity-challenged Council member said, "There's past precedent because back in the day when there were saloons, they had sleeping rooms upstairs."

DUH?

Several people actually laughed, obviously at his inanity, because his attempt at humor was patently absurd, because back in the day, wouldn't those horse riders have needed a place to tie up their horses? I doubt if there were very many people double-riding horses in the saloon days, thus, each horse rider would have needed a "parking place" for his horse.