APHORISMS

APHORISM: A SHORT, POINTED SENTENCE EXPRESSING A WISE, CLEVER OBSERVATION, A GENERAL TRUTH OR ADAGE.

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to
become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a
company can operate without.

8. Why is it that, at class reunions, you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who anxiously awaits his 16th
birthday.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4A.M.: it could
be a right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when his team's winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize in about 40 years we'll have millions of old ladies running
around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a
Mercedes than in a Kia.

19. After 70, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably
dead.