BIDET

Kohler model $494 new





When I was a teenager, my best friend and I went to visit her boyfriend's home, and after I used the bathroom, I asked, "What's that thing in the bathroom?" She answered, as if she were suddenly cosmopolitan, "Oh, that's a bidet--his mother is French--everyone on the Continent has them." I said, mocking her condescension, "Well, we're not on the Continent!"

When I told my cousin's wife about the bidet, she just had to see one. We went to Associated Plumbers and, trying to act the sophisticate, she said, "We'd like to see your finest bidet." The clerk didn't know what it was and went to get the owner. The owner told us that they didn't carry bidets, but he showed us a picture in a catalog and said that he'd be glad to order one for her. When she saw the price, I could see her trying to squirm out of the situation, and she said, in her most hoity-toity voice, "Oh, that's not exactly the one I want." In the car we squealed with laughter at our lack of sophistication. When we got home we did a self-deprecating routine we called "Daisy Mae Goes To Buy A Bidet." After that, she and I would say to each other, "When we get rich, we'll have a bidet!"