Monday, April 26, 2010
You've all met a person like Larry--the person who has done everything you have done--only better; a person who has been everywhere you have--but with better accommodations; a person who knows everything--just ask him! Larry was annoying, insufferable, and totally clueless that people could not tolerate him. He was called "Senor Avion" (Mister Airplane) behind his back because he acted as if nobody knew how to build airplanes as well as he did. He was constantly bragging about his years with other aircraft companies and letting everyone else know that he was far superior to them. He constantly put down others in an attempt to show his brilliance. One time he asked me why I hadn't nominated him as "Employee Of The Month" because he knew he'd done a far better job than the winners that I had nominated. He even told me that he would write it for me! I said, "Oh, Larry, I've seen samples of your writing and I couldn't possibly use those!"
The guys who worked for him were constantly setting him up for ridicule. Larry always had to join in with the others even though they didn't want him around!
It was near the end of the Contract, and of course, everybody was worried about where they would go to work, but Larry kept telling everyone that he was already receiving offers and that he would have no problems because Boeing, McDonnell-Douglas et.al., all wanted him!
One day, the guys were in a group and they saw Larry approaching and they knew Larry would want to be a part of whatever conversation they were having. They began talking about having sex with farm animals. One guy bragged about which animals he had violated, and poor Larry, not realizing that he was being set up, took the bait and started telling what he had done! The guys all started laughing. From then on, whenever one of those guys would see him, they would make sheep sounds!
One of the guys came to me and said, "We're taking up a collection and we'll give all the money in the pot to you if you will JUST go up to Larry and say "LAAAAARRRRY" (and he made a baa-ing sound!). I said, "There's no way I could do that." The guy pleaded, "Oh please, Sue, you know you're as tired of him as we are!" Every few days, one of the guys would come up to me and tell me how much money was in the pot and they would tell me they would donate the money for a big party or to my favorite charity if I would JUST do it.
One morning near the end of the Contract, at the beginning of the shift, Larry came to me, (and since he loved an audience, he made certain there were a number of guys around) as he announced to me that he was giving his notice because he had landed a job with "Douglas". Larry couldn't help himself; as he continued, he JUST had to tell me that he felt sorry for ME because, unlike HIM, it would be so hard for me to get a job like mine with another company. I just smiled, put out my hand to shake hands, and as he took my hand, I BLEATED, "Good luck, LAAAAARRRRY." The other guys heard it and erupted in raucous laughter. Larry said, "I'm going to report you to Human Resources!" I said, "Go ahead, LAAAARRRRY, and I'll tell them that I grew up on a farm!"
I admit that was totally unprofessional of me but so much fun!