GAFFES

Recently, my husband pointed out that I was "too full of myself". My family derives great delight in reminding me of my many errors and gaffes. They write on the calendar when I make an error. My pronunciations of "POE-tassium", "real-A-tor" were duly noted as well as the last time I said "pray-shush" instead of precious. Yes, you can take the girl out of Fayette County, but you can't take Fayette County out of the girl, no matter how hard she tries!

Some of my family's favorite gaffes of mine:

1. Les tapes nearly everything I watch on television because I love to fast forward through the commercials and parts I don't want to see. Last year during tornado season, I was watching one of the tapes and it had a tornado warning to "take cover immediately"; I ran upstairs and banged on Les' door and woke up Gerald to tell them that we needed to go to the basement! They looked out the windows and turned on their televisions while I was busy shrieking that we needed to get to the basement! THE TAPE WAS A WEEK OLD!

2. I was watching a French movie with subtitles and I asked Les to turn up the volume! AS IF I UNDERSTOOD FRENCH. DUH!

3. My "directionally challenged" escapades are legendary. I was in Columbus and I needed to find a place on Route 3; I stopped at a gas station and the guy working there told me I was on Route 3. I said I thought I was on Route 62. He pointed to a sign: I was at the convergence of Routes 62, 3, and Westerville Road! He was an old guy and he said, "This is the 3-C Highway!" I hadn't heard that since my father used to say it when I was a kid.

4. I thought Route 62 was North and South. Let me see, how many years have I traveled on that road and seen the signs? TOO many, but when Gerald corrected me, I jumped in the car and drove to Route 62 to prove him wrong! OOPS!

5. Norman corrected me today about my pronunciation of "oligarchy" by sending an e-mail from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary; although my pronunciation IS acceptable it is number 2! Norman couldn't possibly accept my number 2 pronunciation as truly legitimate. That's my FORTE, Norman!