I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I will soon turn seventy).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?"
"Oh no, I replied. I'm not doing drugs, either!"
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "Not much; my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
"Do you spend alot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't", I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No", I said.
He looked at me and asked, "Then, why do you even give a shit?"
Gerald accuses Les and me of having "verbal shorthand" and says he doesn't know what we're talking about half the time because we interrupt each other, finish each other's sentences, and expect each other to grasp whatever arcane references we've thrown about!
The following conversation between Les and me:
"Have you noticed that the phrase "I'm not THAT guy" has crept into the lexicon?"
"Yeah, remember the episode on "How I Met Your Mother"?"
"Which one?"
"The one where Ted finds a porn star with his name?"
"Yeah, but what's that got to do with..."
"Oh, there's a song with that title."
"How I Met Your Mother?"
"No, I'M NOT THAT GUY."
"Who's it by?"
"Andrew Jackson."
"Old Hickory--I hate that Indian killer."
"Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson."
"He should be!"
"THAT guy or Andy Jackson?"
"I don't like him well enough to use the diminutive."
"That's the group's name."
======
Gerald said, "I don't know what ANY of that meant."
I said, "Obviously there's a group named Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson who recorded a song named "I'm Not That Guy" and we've noticed people using that phrase a lot recently."
"Oh, SO that's what you two said!"
======
The conversation continued:
"James Joyce has nothing on us."
"Name one person who can HONESTLY say they've actually read "Ulysses"!"
"Well, I TRIED!"
"OK, Molly Bloom!"
"That's SUPREME!"
"Just call me Penelope."
Gerald jumped in: "I know that reference--Penelope was Ulysses' wife!"
"Wrong Penelope!"
Gerald said, "Explain it."
"James Joyce wrote "Ulysses" and it was banned in the United States and it was a famous Supreme Court case to have it sold in the U.S.; the book was a modern-day telling of Ulysses EXCEPT Leopold Bloom was Ulysses and Molly Bloom was Penelope EXCEPT Molly wasn't faithful and Leopold's odyssey lasted only one day."
We have a family member who is a "dumpster diver"; he actually goes through trash!
As a teenager, the "dumpster diver" stayed overnight at our home numerous times. Although I knew of his particular quirk, little did I know that he went through my trash; he slept on a sofa in the family room. He once found a planner (a very nice Franklin Planner) in my trash which belonged to another person. Without my knowing, he put the planner in his suitcase and took it home with him.
The next time he visited, I learned that he had considered calling the OWNER of the planner to tell that he'd FOUND it! He and his family members did not understand WHY I was upset and actually said that I was "overreacting" and that "he's just a kid" and they wished they hadn't told me! Although I try not to criticize parenting practices, as I would probably be a poor parent; in this case I felt it necessary. I asked, incredulously, "What do you think she would have thought if you had called her and I had NOT called her previously; she would have thought I was the robber!" He just shrugged! I didn't even address the fact that he'd taken something from my home without asking permission, which, in reality was the greatest offense. As far as I know, he did not receive any punishment.
The story behind my having a planner which belonged to another: during our "spring cleanup", Gerald found the planner under the large pine tree in the back yard. He brought it in and although it was moldy, I could see the name of the owner. The planner contained several IDs and membership cards. As I have a Franklin Planner, I knew the cost and I thought it could be cleaned and salvaged. I telephoned the owner and I learned that she had been robbed several months previously and that the planner was among the items stolen. The robber had come in through her patio door and her purse and briefcase were on the kitchen table ready for her to take to her car. The police and others found her purse, empty wallet, etc., at different placess as the thief had obviously emptied the contents and tossed the purse and briefcase away, as he ran. She thanked me for calling but said that she had replaced everything which had been in her purse and briefcase. I tossed the planner into my trash can. Obviously I should have destroyed the contents.
Needless to say, the "dumpster diver" was never invited to stay again.
John, my nephew Allen's son, was in a wrestling tournament on Saturday in Columbus. He did very well, placing SECOND in his weight classification. I assumed the wrestlers were also in an age classifications, but I learned that John, a Freshman, could be wrestling guys as much as four years older. John's matches to get to the Final were thrilling as he dispatched his opponents with great aplomb. His final match ended with a score of 6 to 4. John's opponent was three years older and that greater amount of experience was probably critical. John's first match was around 3:30 PM and his last one after 10:00 PM. All that wait-time must be exhausting, physically and emotionally!
Usually there are just one or two people in the wrestler's corner. Allen was in John's corner and another of the coaches, Dr. Mark, came over to watch the match and Dr. Mark told one of the other coaches to come with him to the corner; that made 3; one of John's friends was relaxing on the floor after his match; I said, "You should go over there." He hopped up and went over to the corner. That made 4. I thought, "Hell, I've never been in a corner before; this will be a new experience!" That made 5 in the corner!
It is customary for the opponents to go to the other corner to shake the opponent's coach's hand after the match. John's opponent started shaking hands and he asked, "WHERE are you all from?" He looked stunned when he shook my hand! Later, he came by and said, "I hope he wins the Final." I was touched by his class and graciousness after having witnessed some very poor sportsmanship. As we were leaving for the evening, we saw him and his father and he asked John's age, etc. I told them they should come to the tournament in Washington C.H.; he and John exchanged phone numbers. I told his father what a fine son he had reared. It was a pleasure to meet Cole from Gallipolis, Ohio.
I saw a Russian guy (with cauliflower ears) who has a wrestling training business. One of his students is the one who won the Final with John. Another of his student's wore a singlet with CCCP on the front--and I swear this is true--there were pictures of Lenin and Stalin on the rear! Allen said, "They should've put Trotsky's picture on the front." We saw several coaches wearing wrestling shoes. I asked if they also had singlets on under their clothes!
The funniest moment: a father and son were hurrying by and we heard the father say, in exasperation, "Why would I buy you an Irish singlet--we're Italian?"
Several years ago, I learned of two people who were victims of the same scam. The con artist, Rosie, worked as a waitress at a local restaurant and I believe she was a member of the group known as "The Irish Travelers".
The first person who told me about the scam had actually suggested that I request the particular waitress to be my server when I went to the restaurant because she was the "best" waitress she'd ever known.
One day, the customer opened her door to find Rosie there, crying. Rosie told her that her utilities were ready to be turned off and that she was behind on her mortgage, car payment, etc. and she had her grandchild at home. Rosie asked the customer to loan her money and she showed her a picture of a house in Florida that was being sold and said that she said she would be getting a check from there soon and she would be able to pay her back with interest. Somehow, Rosie was able to get $5,000 from this person! I asked the obvious question: "Have you gone to the police?" The answer was no, because by the time she realized she'd been duped, the waitress couldn't be found, her address in town was phony, and she'd left her job without notice and besides, she was too embarrassed to report it.
The second person, whom I knew only slightly, called me and told me that she was trying to find a waitress who had worked at a local restaurant and she'd been told she'd gone to another restaurant where a Raypole was the Manager. I gave her the telephone number. I asked, "You probably don't want to tell me, but is the waitress named Rosie and she came to you with a hard-luck story and that she had a house in Florida?" The woman said, "Yes, were you a victim too?" I said, "No, but you're the second person who has told me this story." This woman then told me that she and her husband went to the restaurant regularly and when Rosie came to her home, the woman gave her only $2,000 with the proviso that Rosie must come there to work off the debt. Of course, Rosie agreed. Little did the woman know, but Rosie waited for the woman to leave and came back and accosted the husband, who gave her $3,000! Can you imagine the nerve? When Rosie did not show up to work at the couple's business, the husband and wife returned to the restaurant and Rosie was no longer there; when they inquired they were told she went to another restaurant. That wasn't true. The couple were also too embarrassed to go to the police.
I wonder how many Rosie was able to con before moving to another locale or was her goal just $10,000? Rosie had an Irish surname.
Why do people so willingly divulge personal information to complete strangers? I have the reputation of "interviewing" everyone with whom I come in contact. I do it because I'm interested in people. As I said to the first person who was scammed, "She found out EVERYTHING she needed about you: she knew what kind of car you drive, where you live, how many kids you have and that you live alone and she knew you were a generous tipper, so she knew you had disposable income." Both of the victims couldn't believe they had been taken! I said, "They're clever and they know their marks!"
That same year I had answered my door and a man asked if he could repair our roof. He handed me a business card which showed he was "insured and bonded". However, the phone number was not a local number. Having family in Florida, I recognized the number as one from Florida. I had no plan of using him, but I'll admit, I wanted to "play" with him! I said, "I see you're from Florida." He said that he was up here now but he hadn't changed his phone! I asked where his business was located and he said they rented a storage unit for their tools. I asked where he lived and he gave me an address! I asked for references from other people they'd serviced and he actually gave me a list; of course, none were local!
I told him I would call him back after I'd checked the references. Instead, I called the police and took the card to them.
Yes, he had an IRISH surname!
CLICK HERE to read a blog article entitled "Abbreviated History of the Irish Travelers."
Most of you know Patty went in for a surgical procedure for a Butt Lift at the WalMart Medical Center. She didn't have the most pleasant experience. She should've left well enough alone.
We wanted to show you how it turned out. We hope this keeps YOU from having this done.
Please, PLEASE, PLEASE. Don't get a Butt Lift at the WalMart Medical Center . You will most certainly regret it! Keep Patty in your thoughts.
These are the things we're supposed to do to remove the cholesterol around our brain and try to slow up Alzheimer's. It took me several times before I could finally tell this brain of mine to concentrate. It's a great test. Do it until you get 100%!
I bet you can't get 100% on the first try but I'm rooting for you!
This is pretty neat! See how you do with the colors! Have fun!
It takes an average of 5 tries to get to 100%.. Follow the directions!
A friend became very upset because an elderly friend received a scam letter "from the Netherlands" asking him to send money and they promised to send a money order for a vast amount of money and a valuable ring. My friend reacted totally out of proportion to the situation. They took the letter to the Sheriff's office. Of course there was nothing the Sheriff could do about it because no laws were broken; the Sheriff said that if he received another one that he should bring it in and he'll "turn it over to the F.B.I." ["But it's 3 pages and she used the phrase "in God's love.", my friend exclaimed!).
I realize my friend was upset and projecting her own anger because she herself was a victim of a scam several years ago. I told my friend that those scammers buy lists from companies which run sweepstakes. Especially if one gives money to those sweepstakes companies, then the scammers believe those people would be susceptible to other offers. Her friend enters sweepstakes regularly and oftentimes sends money along with the entries.
These kinds of solicitations are quite prevalent on the internet and I guess that people actually answer them! I thought everyone just laughed at the "Nigerian prince" and the "Dutch diplomat" trying to con people out of money!
Gerald and I receive lots of solicitations and I know it's because of our donations to different organizations. I have told Gerald to quit sending money to The Eastern Paralyzed Veterans because we do not NEED any cards and I don't WANT any, although I am fascinated to see the backs of the cards which tell about the artists who paint with their mouths, elbows, feet, and toes! These cards end up, bundled, and sold in yard sales for $1.00. Having just finished our taxes, I saw that Gerald had donated $50.00 to them last year! We know that the Eastern Paralyzed Veterans have sold Gerald's name because they have the address erroneously showing "Ray Pole" and we receive other solicitations with that same error.
Currently, I am alarmed because the ONLY place that I am "P. Sue" is on my driver's license. The BMV assured me that they do not sell lists, but I have been receiving solicitations for products for OLDER people (now that REALLY pisses me off!)! When I receive solicitations to "P.S. Raypole", I know that Discover has sold my name! When I receive stuff for "Susannah", I know that a magazine which my brother gave me as a subscription (and because he sometimes called me "Susannah" when I was a child) sold my name!
During the Republican Primary Presidential campaign, I received a call from the NEWT GINGRICH campaign and of course they wanted money. I deliberately kept the solicitor on the line for as long as I could and it turned out to be thirty minutes. [As a person with a great deal of experience making political phone calls, I know the longer I keep them on the line, the fewer calls they can make! My record for keeping a solicitor on the line is 42 minutes!] After asking the solicitor numerous questions, she suggested that I go "online"; I told her I didn't believe in those "newfangled devices". Finally, she turned me over to her supervisor who was a wee bit smarter because when I kept asking about what Newt meant about enforcing the 10th Amendment, he said he would have Mr. Gingrich send me a letter. Yes, indeed, I received a letter from Newt telling me how much my support meant and a form to fill out to donate money!
How the Hell could THAT campaign think that I would be a likely donor? I finally figured it out: my American Express card is a Business Card and they probably bought the list of names of "business owners" from American Express.
ALABAMA ................... Was the first state to have 9-1-1, started 1968.
ALASKA ...................... One out of every 64 people has a pilot's license.
ARIZONA .................... Is the only state in the continental U.S that doesn't follow Daylight Savings Time.
ARKANSAS ................ Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S.
CALIFORNIA .............. Its economy is so large that if it were a country, it would rank seventh in the entire world.
COLORADO ................In 1976 it became the only state to turn down the Olympics.
CONNECTICUT ..........The Frisbee was invented here at Yale University
DELAWARE .................Has more scientists and engineers than any other state.
FLORIDA .....................At 874.3 square miles, Jacksonville is the U.S. 's largest city.
GEORGIA ....................It was here, in 1886, that pharmacist John Pemberton made the first vat of Coca-Cola.
HAWAII ....................... Hawaiians live, on average, five years longer than residents of any other state.
IDAHO ........................ TV was invented in Rigby, Idaho, in 1922.
ILLINOIS ......................Home of President Lincoln!
INDIANA ..................... Home to Santa Claus, Indiana, which gets a half million letters to Santa every year.
IOWA ...........................Winnebagos get their name from Winnebago County . Also, it is the only state name that begins with two vowels.
Kansas ...................... ..Liberal, Kansas , has an exact replica of the house in The Wizard of Oz.
KENTUCKY .................Has more than $6 billion in gold underneath Fort Knox .
LOUISIANA ..................Has parishes instead of counties because they were originally Spanish church units.
MAINE ......................... It's so big, it covers as many square miles as the other five New England states combined.
MARYLAND .................The Ouija board was created in Baltimore in 1892.
MASSACHUSETTS ......The Fig Newton is named after Newton, Massachusetts .
MICHIGAN ................... Fremont, home to Gerber, is the baby food capital of the world.
MINNESOTA ................ Bloomington 's Mall of America is so big, that if you spent 10 minutes in each store, you'd be there nearly four days.
MISSISSIPPI ............ ....President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear here; that's how the teddy bear got its name.
MISSOURI .................... Is the birthplace of the ice cream cone.
MONTANA ................... A sapphire from Montana is in the Crown Jewels of England.
NEBRASKA ...................More triplets are born here than in any other state.
NEW HAMPSHIRE .........Birthplace of Tupperware, invented in 1938 by Earl Tupper.
NEW JERSEY .................Has the most shopping malls in one area in the world.
NEW MEXICO ................ Smokey the Bear was rescued from a 1950 forest fire here.
NEW YORK ..................... Is home to the nation's oldest cattle ranch, started in 1747 in Montauk.
NORTH CAROLINA ........ Home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut.
NORTH DAKOTA ........... Rigby, North Dakota , is the exact geographic center of North America .
OHIO ............................. The hot dog was invented here in 1900.
OKLAHOMA .................. The grounds of the state capital are covered by operating oil wells.
OREGON ..................... ...Has the most ghost towns in the country.
PENNSYLVANIA ............The smiley : ) was first used in 1980 by computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University .
RHODE ISLAND .............The nation's oldest bar, the White Horse Tavern, opened here in 1673.
SOUTH CAROLINA .........Sumter County is home to the world's largest gingko farm.
SOUTH DAKOTA .............Is the only state that's never had an earthquake.
TENNESSEE ....................Nashville 's Grand Ole Opry is the longest running live radio show in the world.
TEXAS ............................. Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. The hamburger was invented in Arlington in 1906.
UTAH ........... ...................The first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant opened here in 1952.
VERMONT ....................... Montpelier is the only state capital without a McDonald's Restaurant.
VIRGINIA ......................... Home of the world's largest office building: The Pentagon.
WASHINGTON ................. Seattle has twice as many college graduates as any other state.
WASHINGTON D.C. ......... Is the first planned capital in the world.
WEST VIRGINIA ................ Had the world's first brick paved street, Summers Street, laid in Charleston in 1870.
WISCONSIN ..................... The ice cream sundae was invented here in 1881.
WYOMING ......................... Was the first state to allow women to vote.
THANKS to JIM FUSILLI, critic for The Wall Street Journal.
Levon Helm, legendary drummer for 'The Band,' died on April 19th after a long battle with cancer. WSJ rock and pop critic Jim Fusilli remembers the musician who began his career playing with Bob Dylan and ended it with multiple Grammy wins.
Recently, a friend saw a man spit into the kitchen sink; even though we know we spit into the bathroom sink when we brush our teeth, somehow, it is vile and disgusting to spit into the kitchen sink! [No amount of logic will make us believe that there's no difference!]
I asked my husband and brothers if they spit into the kitchen sink and one answered, "By the time we had a kitchen sink, we also had Kleenex!" One brother said, "Well, I aim for the hole!"
I have NEVER seen a woman spit--in public--or in private! What is it with men and spitting? Do they have more fluids they need to eliminate?
I had a boss who used to spit on the floor in the plant. One day, I asked him why he did that and he said, in surprise, "I have to spit." I asked, incredulously, "On the floor? Somebody might step in it!" He laughed and said, "You're in a factory!" I answered, "I still thought I was in civilization!"
Recently, driving down the street, I saw a man turn his head and spit onto the grass. I thought, "Well, maybe he thinks if it's OK for dogs to doo-doo, then he thinks it's OK for him."
My friend mentioned "mucous" and I commented that that was a perfect sounding word for what it means. My brother chimed in and said that he thought "phlegm" and "sputum" were equally disgusting-sounding words! My grandmother coined the term "hoicky gob" which all family members use!
Les said "EXPECTORATION makes it sound acceptable!
R.I.P., Dick Clark. "The oldest teenager" is what Dick Clark was dubbed; but to us growing up, watching "American Bandstand" after school, he was more like a wiser older brother. He was very influential in our lives and in our musical tastes. Although it was uncomfortable watching him after his stroke, I had to admire the guts it took to do it!
Just last week I was telling how we wanted to have the "outfits" like the girls on American Bandstand: plaid skirt, white Peter Pan collared blouse, and blazer. Here in rural Fayette County, we were just too provincial to know that their outfits were CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRL UNIFORMS!
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's:
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were
pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps, not helmets on our heads.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY?
Because we were always outside playing, that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day, and we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendos and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no Surround-Sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!
The idea of parents bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of; they actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem-solvers and inventors ever.
The past 50 years has seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!
HOW ON EARTH DID WE SURVIVE?
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw" and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S".
Answers To Quiz:
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: boxing.
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: strawberry.
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small and are wired in place on the tree.The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
6. Three English words beginning with "dw": dwarf, dwell and dwindle.
7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parentheses, braces, and ellipses.
8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: lettuce.
9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S": shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, and stilts.
The average life expectancy for men was 47 years.
Fuel for this car was sold only in drug stores.
Only 14 percent of homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of homes had a telephone.
There were 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
The average U. S. wage in 1910 was 22 cents per hour.
The average U. S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year;
A dentist $2,500 per year; a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year; and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at home.
Ninety percent of all Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard."
Sugar cost four cents per pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents per pound.
Most women washed their hair only once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.
The American flag had 45 stars.
The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30.
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't yet been invented.
There was no Mother's Day nor a Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores.
Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health!"
Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.
There were about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.A.
Try to imagine what the world may be like in another 100 years.
There are 20 questions. Average score for baby boomers is 12.
1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
A. Flintstones vitamins
B. The Buttmaster
C. Spaghetti
D. Wonder Bread
E. Orange Juice
F. Milk
G. Cod Liver Oil
2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was?
A. Sugar Ray Robinson
B. Roy Orbison
C. Gene Autry
D. Rudolph Valentino
E. Fabian
F. Mickey Mantle
G. Cassius Clay
3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, '"We have met the enemy and...
A. It's you.
B. He is us.
C. It's the Grinch.
D. He wasn't home.
E. He's really me and you.
F. We quit.
G. He surrendered.
4. Good night, David...
A. Good night, Chet.
B. Sleep well.
C. Good night, Irene.
D. Goodnight, Gracie.
E. See you later, alligator.
F. Until tomorrow.
G. Good night, Steve.
5. You'll wonder where the yellow went...
A When you use Tide.
B. When you lose your crayons.
C. When you clean your tub.
D. If you paint the room blue.
E. If you buy a soft water tank.
F. When you use Lady Clairol.
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.
6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend.
A. Stuart Whitman
B. Randolph Scott
C. Steve Reeves
D . Maynard G. Krebs
E. Corky B. Dork
F. Dave the Whale
G. Zippy Zoo
7. Liar, liar...
A. You're a liar
B. Your nose is growing
C. Pants on fire
D. Join the choir
E. Jump up higher
F. On the wire
G. I'm telling Mom
8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and...
A. Wheaties
B. Lois Lane
C. TV rating
D. World peace
E. Red tights
F. The American way
G. News headlines
9. Hey kids! What time is it?
A. It's time for Yogi Bear
B It's time to do your homework
C. It's Howdy Doody Time
D. It's time for Romper Room
E. It's bedtime
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour
G. Scoopy Doo Time
10. Lions and tigers and bears...
A. Yikes
B. Oh, no
C. Gee whiz
D. I'm scared
E. Oh my
F. Help! Help!
G. Let's run
11. We were advised us never to trust anyone...
A. Over 40
B. Wearing a uniform
C. Carrying a briefcase
D. Over 30
E. You don't know
F. Who says, "Trust me"
G. Who eats tofu
12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's
stockings:
A. Troy Aikman
B. Kenny Stabler
C. Joe Namath
D. Roger Staubach
E. Joe Montana
F. Steve Young
G. John Elway
13. Brylcream...
A. Smear it on
B. You'll smell great
C. Tame that cowlick
D. Grease ball heaven
E. It's a dream
F. We're your team
G. A little dab'll do ya
14. I found my thrill...
A. In Blueberry muffins
B. With my man, Bill
C. Down at the mill
D. Over the windowsill
E. With thyme and dill
F. Too late to enjoy
G. On Blueberry Hill
15.. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by:
A. Clark Gable
B. Mary Martin
C. Doris Day
D. Errol Flynn
E. Sally Fields
F. Jim Carrey
G. Jay Leno
16. Name the Beatles:
A. John, Steve, George, Ringo
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. I wonder, wonder, who...
A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Was it you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who I am?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?
18. I'm strong to the finish...
A. Cause I eats my broccoli
B. Cause I eats me spinach
C. Cause I lift weights
D. Cause I'm the hero
E. And don't you for get it
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me
G. To outlast Bruto
19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today.
A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera
B. Smile, you're on Star Search
C. Smile, you won the lottery
D. Smile, we're watching you
E. Smile, the world sees you
F. Smile, you're a hit
G. Smile, you're on TV
20. What do M & M's do?
A. Make your tummy happy
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket
C. Make you fat
D. Melt your heart
E. Make you popular
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand
G. Come in colors
Below are the right answers:
1. D -Wonder Bread
2. G - Cassius Clay
3. B - He Is us
4. A - Good night, Chet
5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
6. D - Maynard G. Krebs
7. C - Pants on fire
8. F - The American Way
9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time
10. E - Oh my
11. D - Over 30
12. C - Joe Namath
13. G - A little dab'll do ya
14. G - On Blueberry Hill
15. B - Mary Martin
16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. D - Who wrote the book of Love
18. B - Cause I eats me spinach
19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera
20. F - Melt in your mouth not in your hand
Did you ever watch the movie "The Man Who Came To Dinner"? In it, there's an obnoxious, demanding houseguest named Sheridan Whiteside who seemingly will never leave! In my family, when we were kids, we were always having various cousins living with us. One cousin, Mervyn, stayed the longest. He was obviously unable to fend much for himself. One day, he ordered, imperiously, "Cut that pie!" I reacted by saying, "Cut the damned pie yourself if you want some!" When he started to cut the pie, it was obvious that he had no idea how to cut a pie as he was HACKING at it. I immediately took over the knife! ["CUT THAT PIE!", uttered with the unique Mervyn inflection, has been a family saying ever since!]
Over the years, I have been stunned by the number of people I've encountered who do not know how to cut pies or cakes. At functions, I immediately go to the cakes or pies to do the job! At International, a guy came from another department to ask me to come to his department to cut a cake. As I did not know the guy, I asked him why he was asking for me and he said, "Dino the Inspector said you were the only one who knows how to cut a cake right!" It was probably because I was the only woman there! Dino was the one who usually ordered cakes for department occasions; once he asked me how I'd learned to cut the cakes. Dumfounded, not thinking that cake cutting demonstrated any particular talent, I answered, "From my mother, I guess." He said, rather plaintively, "My mother never did things like that." Dino later asked me to teach his girlfriend how to cut cakes and pies!
Martha Stewart and other companies sell pie cutters at ridiculously high prices. Although I am a gadget lover, I say, "What's wrong with a knife?"
I just told my brother Les that I was going to write about eating squab. He said, "Oh, that sounds so much better than saying you ate DOVES, doesn't it?" I said, "Squab is also pigeon." He answered, "That's even worse!" Being the youngest in the family, Les was not as exposed to our wide array of "epicurean delights" as the older ones were.
Growing up poor, my mother would fix any wild game brought home except opossum or raccoon. I think it was because opossums were so disgusting and we had raccoons as pets. I loved quail, pheasant, rabbit, and especially turtle. I still like "offal": gizzards, livers, tongue, heart, kidneys, lungs, tripe, and brains (yes, I admit that I've eaten brains!). Gerald grimaces when I mention these delicacies; I've told him it's hard for me to believe that he grew up on a farm and had not had these rare treats! I said, "If I say I love "pate de foie gras", that'll be OK, rather than goose liver!" I like braunschweiger (liverwurst) but I cannot tolerate blood pudding, head cheese or souse!
As kids, we ate ground hog and muskrat, but Mother insisted we say "marsh rabbit" as that euphemism sounded so much better. I never tasted "mountain oysters"; Mother said she was tricked into eating them once and although they were delicious, she would NOT have eaten them if she'd known what they were.
The derivation of the saying "To eat humble pie", which means to apologize and face humiliation, is from the Old English word "umbles" which was the term for offal from deer and was considered "humble".
For my birthday this year, I've expressed a desire to go to L'Antibes, the French restaurant in Columbus. Yes, and I'm going to feast on SWEETBREADS because I have never tasted sweetbreads!
On "Morning Joe", one of the crew had received a Tweet asking him to name the Five Best Living American Songwriters. Their results ranged from Dylan to Lucinda Williams to Burt Bacharach!
As I love this kind of stuff--I branched out to my "Usual Suspects" and these are the results:
MINE:
1. BOB DYLAN (of course!)
2. NEIL YOUNG
3. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
4. PAUL SIMON
5. DIANE WARREN
GERALD'S:
1. STEVIE WONDER
2. ERIC CLAPTON
3. BONNIE RAITT
4. BRIAN WILSON
5. BOB DYLAN
DUKE'S:
1. WILLIE NELSON
2. KRIS KRISTOFFERSON
3. DON MCLEAN
4. JOHN FOGERTY
5. ARLO GUTHRIE
LES':
1. DYLAN
2. SIMON
3. YOUNG
4. SPRINGSTEEN
5. CAROLE KING
NORMAN'S:
He said his are in no particular order:
WILLIE NELSON, JACKSON BROWNE, J.D. SOUTHER, DON HENLEY and BONNIE RAITT
PATTY'S:
She said hers are in no particular order, but she couldn't pick just 5:
KRIS KRISTOFFERSON, PAUL MCCARTNEY, STEVIE NICKS, DONALD FAGEN, STEVIE WONDER, BRIAN WILSON, CAROLE KING, DOLLY PARTON, MERLE HAGGARD
ARMINTA'S:
She said hers are in no particular order:
KRIS KRISTOFFERSON, PAUL MCCARTNEY, DOLLY PARTON, ELTON JOHN, RANDY NEWMAN
GRETCHEN'S:
She said that hers are in no particular order:
BURT BACHARACH, STING, TODD RUNDGREN, ROGER WATERS/DAVID GILMOUR/DOLLY PARTON
Les asked, "Don't you think that Stephen Sondheim and Andrew Lloyd Webber should be mentioned since you and Patty love that Broadway stuff?" OK, here's 5: STEPHEN SONDHEIM, ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER/TIM RICE, KANDER/EBB, JULE STYNE and JERRY HERMAN. I think they are all still alive! Then he asked, "What about LEIBER/STOLLER; isn't one of them still alive?"
1. Bob Dylan
2. John Lennon/ Paul McCartney
3. Paul Simon
4. Bruce Springsteen
5. Pete Townshend
6. Neil Young
7. Mick Jagger/ Keith Richards
8. Elton John/ Bernie Taupin
9. Joni Mitchell
10. David Bowie
11. Leonard Cohen
12. Brian Wilson
13. Carole King
14. Led Zeppelin: John Bonham/ John Paul Jones/ Jimmy Page/ Robert Plant
15. Ray Davies
16. Sting
17. Stevie Wonder
18. Pink Floyd: Syd Barrett/ David Gilmour/ Nick Mason/ Roger Waters/ Richard Wright
19. Chuck Berry
20. Van Morrison
Don't you just love it when people ATTEMPT to correct you by pronouncing the word just AFTER you, and then pronouncing it the way they think is correct?
When this happens, I usually confront the pathetic ploy and ask, "Were you trying to correct my pronunciation just then?", but recently, when this occurred, I was in a sensitive situation; I refrained from pointing out the pathetic ploy! If I were mispronouncing the word, then I would want to be treated the way my brothers do and not have someone resort to such an apparent artifice! The person should have just said, "Don't you know that's pronounced..." and then tell me the correct pronunciation. Then, I would have been able to confront it or graciously accept the constructive criticism.
Recently, the word was APRICOT. [I pronounce it the way Carly Simon does in "You're So Vain". ]
I said the word as "APP-ricot" and the other person immediately said "APE-ricot", not only once, but TWICE, for good measure! I did not confront the issue because of where I was at the time, and because I'm also fully aware that BOTH pronunciations are correct as we have had the discussion in my family previously; I was also aware that" APE-ricot" is listed first in the dictionary (which doesn't mean that it is preferred or more correct) and that my preferred pronunciation is known as the "American" pronunciation. The person's devious device is what bothered me!
As Les said, "You know, like April."
My brothers will probably disown me for allowing the person's maneuver to pass, but to quote the Bard: "The better part of valor is discretion."
Falstaff:
To die is to be a counterfeit, for he is but the counterfeit of
a man who hath not the life of a man; but to counterfeit dying,
when a man thereby liveth, is to be no counterfeit, but the true
and perfect image of life indeed. The better part of valor is
discretion, in the which better part I have sav'd my life.
Henry The Fourth, Part 1 Act 5, scene 4, 115–121
Almost invariably quoted today as "Discretion is the better part of valor," Falstaff's phrase elegantly redeems a cowardly act. The bragging, bulbous knight has just risen from his feigned death; he had played the corpse in order to escape real death at the hands of a Scotsman hostile to Henry IV. Claiming that abstractions like "honor" and "valor" will get you nothing once you're dead, Falstaff excuses his counterfeiting as the kind of "discretion" that keeps a man from foolishly running into swords in order to cultivate a reputation for heroism. If counterfeiting keeps you alive, well then, it's not counterfeiting, but an authentic "image of life." Falstaff confuses "image" with "reality," but we forgive him; as far as he's concerned, "valor" is an image too, and you've got to stay alive in order to find more opportunities to cultivate that image.
Today, I went to pick out jeans for a friend of mine. In the store, I was surrounded by jeans on three sides! There were shelves in front of me, much higher than I could reach, and behind me on shelves and displayed on tables beside me. I was in an abyss of denim.
Ah, THAT smell! The evocative aroma immediately transported me back in time to the remembrance of the first day of school each year. As a kid, I never wanted to wear new clothes on the first day of school because of THAT smell. When I would get on the school bus, THAT overwhelming new-clothes smell would engulf me because every boy on the bus would be wearing new jeans!
Today, I felt like Marcel Proust and "the episode of the madeleines". In his classic "Remembrance Of Things Past", because of a "madeleine", Proust was transported back into his memory and was inspired to create his masterpiece. He coined the term "involuntary memory" and the term has been used in psychology since.
Each month, on the last page of the magazine, "Vanity Fair" has "The Proust Questionnaire" and it's always fascinating to read the thoughts of interesting people.
Proust's own answers, are equally fascinating.
Marcel Proust
At the age of 20, Marcel Proust put his own psyche under the microscope by answering questions meant to reveal one’s innermost thoughts. More than a century later, and as demonstrated on V.F.’s back page each month, the “Proust Questionnaire” continues to be a popular method of interviewing. This month, as Assouline publishes The Proust Questionnaire—with personalities such as Lee Radziwill and Diane von Furstenberg providing the answers—we present Proust’s own responses from 1892.
I've had more comments to my article "ADDICTION" than to any other item I've published.
My husband and brother reminded me of a couple of other incidents to illustrate my addiction.
When I was a young married, we had a book case bed. I also had a small dorm-size refrigerator in my bedroom closet to store my Coke. I had to be able to have a Coke at any time! This is when we still bought BOTTLES and the refund was 2 cents per bottle. I was sitting in bed reading and I had a bottle of Coke setting on the top of the bed and when my husband plopped into bed, the bottle of Coke fell off, hitting me in the face; yeah, do you think anyone believed THAT story of my black eye?
When I was working at Shasta Beverages, obviously, I could not be dragging Coca Cola into the plant. All the "low-fills" (product rejected by QC for any number of reasons, but still consumable) were taken to the cafeteria refrigerator and we were allowed to drink all the "low-fills" we wanted. The company also allowed us to have one case per week, of our choice, to take home.
Every day, as soon as I left work, I stopped at the Marathon Station on the corner to buy a Coke. Imagine my embarrassment when one of my employees saw me getting the Coke. I will admit right now that I told him this story: I said that I had bugs on my windshield and I had heard that splashing Coca Cola on the windshield would get rid of them better than windshield washer fluid! After that incident, I went further down the road for my "FIX"!
Christians believe, according to Scripture, that Jesus came back to life, or was raised from the dead, three days after his death on the cross. As part of the Easter season, the death of Jesus Christ by crucifixion is commemorated on Good Friday, always the Friday just before Easter. Through his death, burial, and resurrection, Jesus paid the penalty for sin, thus purchasing for all who believe in him, eternal life in Christ Jesus.
The biblical account of Jesus' death on the cross, or crucifixion, his burial and his resurrection, or raising from the dead, can be found in the following passages of Scripture: Matthew 27:27-28:8; Mark 15:16-16:19; Luke 23:26-24:35; and John 19:16-20:30.
Today, after Water Aerobics, one of the women asked, "What's Shrove Tuesday?" I said, "That's Pancake Day!" One of my fellow exercisers (who happens to be a Roman Catholic), said, "Well, that's pretty disrespectful." I asked, "Why--WHAT do you think Shrove Tuesday is?" She said, "That's when they wash the feet before Easter." I said, "Oh, it is NOT!" She looked shocked that I would disagree with her. I said, "Over at the Episcopalian Church, they had a Pancake Supper for Shrove Tuesday." Rather peevishly, she said, "Well, that's the Episcopalians!"
I didn't want to be my usual sassy self and offer to BET with her that I was right, but what the hey, I continued, "In New Orleans they call it Fat Tuesday, because it's the day before Ash Wednesday, and they pig out before Lent and the traditional meal is pancakes."
She said, huffily, "Next, you'll be telling me you know what Maundy Thursday is." I said, "Of course I know about Maundy Thursday and also about SPY WEDNESDAY." She said, "You're making that one up." I said, "I certainly am NOT; Spy Wednesday is called that because that's the day that Judas was given the 30 pieces; you should read your Scripture." I don't think she'll be speaking to me anytime soon.
When I came home I told Les about it and he said, "I can just see the report in the newspaper: elderly woman assaulted in women's locker room over Scripture!"
It is a constant source of sadness to me the amount of anti-Semitism I encounter in my small community.
Because I'm known to have a song for every occasion, in my class today, a classmate asked if I knew a song for Passover. I started singing "Dayenu". Then I laughingly asked, "Isn't it amazing that the most popular--not the most religious--Easter and Christmas songs were written by Jews?" Another classmate asked, "Which ones?" I answered, "Easter Parade" and "White Christmas" by Irving Berlin and "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire" by Mel Torme." I said, "I love to sing "Easter Parade" just to be able to say "Rotogravure", which, of course I had to demonstrate.
In this enjoyable conversation, another woman in the group spoke up and made a remark about how terrible it was that the Jews hadn't accepted Jesus.
I asked, "Why is it terrible?"
She was momentarily flummoxed but soon responded, "They'll be going to Hell." I answered, "But THEY don't believe in Hell." She looked positively bewildered and said she didn't believe me. I said, "Perhaps you should study some." Obviously insulted, she said, angrily, "I do study." I said, "Obviously you haven't studied the Bible."
She said, "I know my Bible." I said, "Perhaps you're confusing the Bible with the New Testament, as it's called." She said, "They're the same thing and what do you mean by saying as it's called?" I answered, "But, of course, they are NOT the same thing; the Bible is the Bible and the New Testament is the New Testament."
As oftentimes happens in a heated discussion, she started using ad hominem remarks, instead of relying on logic.
She said, dismissively, and with an air of superiority, "I'll just pray for them." I countered with, "They don't need or want YOUR prayers; why don't you do what Jesus said and pray ye in your own closet?" She asked, "Where do you get off telling me that?" I said, "Somebody SHOULD be telling you."
She said, "It's none of your business." I answered, "Exactly, just as it's none of YOUR business what the Jews do!"
She asked, "Why do you care?" I answered, "Because I dislike bigotry." She practically screamed at me and said, "I'm not a bigot."
I asked, "Do you know any Jews; have you ever spoken to a Jew?" She admitted that she had not.
I said, "Well, I hear that Jesus was a good Jew and I doubt that He would want YOU to be saying judgmental things about His people!"
Deciding to err on the side of safety, I moved away, while I was still safe and sound.
For people who do not believe in Global Warming/Climate Change, please tell me what the Hell is happening.
Today I picked PEONIES! It's April and my peonies are blooming. This isn't right!
I can recall helping my grandmother get flowers ready to take to the cemeteries for Memorial Day. We always had peonies in the bouquets. We would cover coffee cans with foil and make the arrangements. She called it "Decoration Day".
She called them "PINE--EES" instead of peonies. Another old lady I knew pronounced it "PEE-OH-NEES"!
Although the date has changed and we now observe Memorial Day on the last Monday of the month, when I was a girl, it was marked on May 30, no matter the day of the week. Memorial Day meant that school was over for the year and now kids are still in school in June and we always started school the day after Labor Day, but now they start in August.
In 1968, the "Uniform Holidays Bill" was passed by Congress and went into effect in 1971. The bill changed four holidays, including Memorial Day, from the traditional dates to a specified Monday, in order to create a convenient three-day weekend. Several veterans' groups are opposed to the change of date of Memorial Day and legislation was introduced to change the date back to its original date, to no avail.
At International, in the 1970's, one of my guys asked if he could talk to me privately. He had custody of his daughter and he said that she had started her period and he wanted my advice as to whether he should take her to the doctor after so many days. I said, "Let me think, back in the Dark Ages, when I started, I think it lasted several days." I said, "Let me call Nurse Debbie and she'll know the answer." Nurse Debbie said that he should not worry.
I recall telling my mother that night that I knew that the world had changed forever when a man actually discussed his daughter's menstrual cycle with his boss. My mother was shocked and said that she couldn't imagine my father doing that. I asked if he even knew about it. Mother said, "Of course; you kept it secret from me for months; the only reason that I suspected was because you had no panties in the wash and then we had to get additional Modess!" (MODESS; I haven't thought of that in years; I wonder if they are still sold!)
I told her that I felt good that my employee trusted me and felt comfortable talking to me about it.
Recently, I arranged to have the daughter of a friend, paint our fence. She was supposed to start the work on Monday. The friend dropped by to see me on Saturday and we were together with another, much older, person. The friend said that his daughter was having a bad time with her period. I said, "Just tell her to start on Wednesday and tell her what my mother always said: HEAT PAD, MIDOL AND A CUP OF GINGER TEA and then up and at 'em!" He laughed and said that his daughter was a "wimp".
I could see the look of surprise on the older friend's face at the conversation. Later, I asked, "Were you surprised that he was talking about his daughter's period?" He said that he was shocked and that he never even knew when his wife was having a period. I said that I couldn't imagine that my father would have ever discussed it!
I said, "Well, the world has changed forever!" My older friend replied, "But not for the good." I disagree.
A young man sprinkling his lawn and bushes with pesticides wanted to check the contents of the barrel to see how much pesticide remained in it. He raised the cover and lit his lighter; the vapors ignited and engulfed him. He jumped from his truck, screaming.
His neighbor came out of her house with a dozen eggs and a bowl yelling: "Bring me some more eggs!"
She broke the eggs, separating the whites from the yolks. A neighbor woman helped her to apply the whites onto the young man's face. When the ambulance arrived and the EMTs saw the young man, they asked who had done this. Everyone pointed to the lady in charge. They congratulated her and said: "You have saved his face." By the end of the summer, his face was like a baby's skin.
A Healing Miracle for Burns:
First Aid consists of first spraying cold water on the affected area until the heat is reduced which stops the continued burning of all layers of the skin. Then, spread the egg whites onto the affected area.
One woman burned a large part of her hand with boiling water. In spite of the pain, she ran cold faucet water on her hand, separated two egg whites from the yolks, beat them slightly and dipped her hand in the solution. The whites then dried and formed a protective layer. She continued to apply layer upon layer of beaten egg white to her hand. By afternoon she no longer felt any pain and the next day there was hardly a trace of the burn. Ten days later, no trace was left at all and her skin had regained its normal color. She learned later that egg white is a natural collagen. The burned area was totally regenerated thanks to the collagen in the egg whites, a placenta full of vitamins.
I have always wanted to fix a crown roast ever since I saw a picture of one in one of my mother's cookbooks. Recently, I went to the butcher and ordered the meat. I asked if they also supplied the "bone booties" and they told me that they had them. When I picked up the roast they told me, "No booties!"
I was dismayed, but my hero Gerald immediately went online and found Martha Stewart's pattern for making them. Voila! We had booties (Martha actually calls them "Crown Roast Hats").
When I carried the platter into the dining room, I announced, "I expect some ooohs and aahs!"
Everyone "ooed" and "aahed" in unison!
Piece de resistance! Everything sounds better in French. It met the PIE (PRESENTATION IS EVERYTHING) criteria. Oh, and by the way, it was delicious!
Instructions for making "bone booties":
1. Draw a 3.5 by 11-inch rectangle onto the white paper. Cut out the rectangle with the scissors.
2. Fold the rectangle in half lengthwise but do not crease the fold.
3. Grasp the folded rectangle on the long cut edges and make slits along the entire folded edge of the paper with the scissors. Space the slits ¼-inch apart and make the slits approximately 1 inch long into the folded paper.
4. Fold the cut edges of the folded rectangle up 1/2-inch and crease this fold.
5. Wrap the prepared rectangle around the end of a rib bone loosely with the fold to the inside facing the rib bone. Note where the paper overlaps and cut off the excess paper to leave ½-inch of overlapped paper.
6. Tape the ends of the overlapped paper around the rib bone.
7. Wrap the remaining paper around another rib bone, cut it off and tape it in similar fashion.
Do you ever need to look up something on a map? Google Maps is one of the most popular sites that Internet users frequent. Today, Google has updated their Maps version to locate even the smallest of landmarks. See the map below...
Now that you have seen the new look of the map, follow its' introduction to the world on YouTube below.
Have you finished the video yet? If not, do so before continuing with this great news!
As Rachel Maddow would say: now you've seen the Best New Thing In The World Today, so have a GREAT APRIL FOOLS DAY!
APRIL FOOLS FROM SOME OLD FOOLS WHO STILL CAN GET YA!
