I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy chocolate with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop eating chocolate years ago," the homeless woman told me.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well, I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight."
The homeless woman was shocked. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
I said, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and chocolate!"
"If you are able, save them a place inside of you and save one backward glance when you are leaving for all the places they can no longer go. Be not ashamed to say you loved them. Take what they have left and what they have taught you with their dying and keep it with your own. And in that time when men decide and feel safe to call the war insane, take one moment to embrace those gentle heroes you left behind."
Quote from a letter by Major Michael O'Donnell, KIA 24 March 1970. Shot down and killed while attempting to rescue eight fellow soldiers surrounded by attacking enemy forces.
This will keep you entertained for the next ten years!
Here is a web site like no other. If you are over 50, you will love this.
Here's the link for the TV oldies site: Click here
FATHER KNOWS BEST (1953) The definitive aspartame family sitcom: Betty & Kathy fued begin over a bathing suit. Robert Young, Jane Wyatt, Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, Lauren Chapin.
PETTICOAT JUNCTION (1962) Bea Bernadette and Edgar Buchanan bring up three perky teenage girls in Hooterville, at the Shady Rest Hotel; this show was the precursor to "Green Acres"
GROUCHO MARX YOU BET YOUR LIFE (1959) Contestants: 11 year old Candice Bergen with dad, Edgar sans Charlie McCarthy, & Groucho's daughter, Melinda. Are the dads smarter than the 6th graders?
DRAGNET(1959) Granddaddy of TV cop shows, the definitive police melodrama with Jack Webb as Sgt. Joe Friday, Ben Alexander as Officer Frank Smith.
THE MAGNIFICENT MUSICAL COMEDY GENIUS OF VICTOR BORGE 1951 Victor performs a new twist to Listz and it is a classic Borge, musical & comedy genius. Victor Borge's precision piano and satiric talent are as natural as his warmth.
ABBOTT & COSTELLO: WHO'S ON FIRST? 1951 The signature Bud Abbot and Lou Costello comedy routine often imitated, never duplicated. The duo did hosting stints on The Colegate Comedy Hour & Hollywood Palace.
THE LONE RANGER 1955 Hi Ho, Silver! Starring Clayton Moore, it was the top rated of all weekly TV western series.
THE GEORGE BURNS & GRACIE ALLEN SHOW 1953 starring George Burns, Gracie Allen, with Bea Bearnedette, Harry Von Zell, Fred Clark
THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW: MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY 1958 co-starring Marjorie Lord, Rusty Hammer, Angela Cartright; Jane Withers guests.
SID CAESAR'S YOUR SHOW OF SHOWS 1952-57 Legendary pre-SNL skit comedy, co-stars Imogene Coca, Carl Reiner, Howie Morris. Co-written by a very young Woody Allen & hilarious "This Is Your Life" parody (1952).
THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN 1954 After TV animation came a live Superman series starred George Reeves, Noel Neill as Lois Lane
THE ADVENTURES OF FLIPPER 1964 Let's get our minds off killer whales and go back to this beloved, adorable dolphin. Each week this amazing mammal fascinated kids and adults by solving mysteries!
THE ELEGANT STYLE OF LIBERACE 1952 Liberace brought style to candlelight piano music, with brother George on violin.
MEDIC 1954 The first and still best medical drama series, Richard Boone hosts as Konrad Steiner MD.
THE BIG VALLEY 1965 An outstanding Western series with Barbara Stanwyck, Lee Majors & Linda Evans
Mc HALE'S NAVY 1962 Before Harvey Korman, Tim Conway was sidekick to Ernest Borgnine on this military sitcom.
HOPALONG CASSIDY 1952 The Saturday afternoon TV Western staple starring William Boyd as frontier vigilante Hoppy.
I LOVE LUCY 1952 Highlights from TV episodes involving the coming of "Little Ricky;" Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance, William Frawley.
THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW 1962 Dick Van Dyke, Mary Tyler Moore
PASSWORD 1962 Allen Ludden hosted this popular game show 1962 to 1971 on all 3 networks & syndication
ARTHUR GODFREY: HIS WAY OR NO WAY 1957 He ridiculed sponsors, fired staff on air, fixed talent contests & made Godlike demands at CBS. Yet, he still garnered big ratings, got a share of the network's revenue & plays the uke.
ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS 1959 "Good evening," then came the thriller from the Master Of Suspense, Alfred Hitchccock The man whose big screen flix had us on seat edges brought same to small screens
FELIX THE CAT 1959 In 1928, RCA testing Vladimir Zworkyn's iconoscope, Felix The Cat was the first image on TV; Oldies Television's roster would not be complete without Otto Mesmer's historic cartoon icon.
THE LITTLE RASCALS 1955 A top Saturday morning TV attraction of the 50's was re-worked MGM "Our Gang Comedies"
BEWITCHED 1966 Wriggle your nose, it's Elizabeth Montgomery as that saucy, sassy, beautiful, bedazzling witch & Dick York as befuddled hubbie, Darren
I DREAM OF JEANIE 1966 Out of the bottle comes that ravishingly capricious Jeanie, Barbara Eden (blink-blink). Larry Hagman is her adopted master, Bill Daly is the bewildered buddy
OUR MISS BROOKS 1952 Eve Arden and Gale Gordon starred in this sitcom set in a not so typical suburban high school.
HOGAN'S HEROES 1964 Hilarious segments from the pilot and first season opener: there's a breakout at Camp 13! starring Bob Crane, Werner Klemperer, John Banner Ivan Dixon and Richard Dawson.
I MARRIED JOAN 1952 Tagged as the "Queen Of Comedy," Joan Davis stars with Jim Backus in this early sitcom
MY LITTLE MARGIE 1954 Charles Farrel as Vern Albright was single father to Margie, played by Gale Storm
ANNIE OAKLEY 1954 Gail Davis as the legendary woman gunslinger (and single mom), Annie Oakley
THE RIFLEMAN 1958 Chuck Connors stars as sharpshooter Lucas McCain out in the wild west.
TOPPER 1953 starring Leo G. Carroll, Anne Jeffreys, Robert Sterling, Lee Patrick, Kathleen Freeman Banker Cosmo Topper has his refined life turned topsy turvy by two sensual ghosts.
THE ROY ROGERS-DALE EVANS SHOW 1954 Happy Trails! Roy Rogers and wife Dale Evans star in this endearing TV western.
Who, in his/her infinite wisdom, decided that LEMON was to be the scent du jour? Must I have everything--from Pledge to Windex--smell like LEMON? I liked the old smell of Windex! I even saw "lemon meringue pie" scent on candles!
Detergent, dishwashing liquid, bleach, disinfectants, dryer sheets, perfume, candles, soap, body wash, moist towelettes, carpet deodorizer, deodorizing wipes, bathroom cleaner, oven cleaner, dishwasher detergent, car deodorizers, computer screen wipes, air dusters, leather cleaner, mop pads, insoles, shaving cream, paper towels, cartridge filter cleaner, nail polish, car cleaners, wood shavings for pet boxes, and ant aerosols (what do the ants care?),--all LEMON-scented!
But today it went past all sensibility--I saw LEMON-SCENTED PAINT--now one's whole house can smell like lemons!
Our Fair booth sets directly across from the booth of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Every year for the past six years that I have been working at the fair booth, two different Elders work at the Mormon booth; this year one Elder was from Idaho and the other was from Utah. I always have nice conversations with the Elders. My five-great Grandfather was George Givens and George W. Givens, the author, wrote the definitive book on the tragedy at Nauvoo and I always initiate a conversation by mentioning that book and how I tried to find a genealogical link between my ancestor and the author. The Elders always then assume that I am Mormon because I know about Nauvoo and the book by Givens "In Old Nauvoo".
This year, one of my co-workers at the booth asked the location of the local Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Neither Elder Cannon nor Elder Hill knew the location. I told them that I knew the location and I also said I would think that's the first thing they would want to know in coming to Washington Court House. They explained that they'd come from Columbus just for the day and nobody had given them that information. They set about trying to find the location and about every 15 minutes I would hold my thumb to my ear and little finger to my mouth (the international "call me" sign) to ask if they'd found the location.
Oh, sure, I should have just told the Elders the address but it was too much fun seeing the nineteen-year-old and twenty-year-old "Elders" grappling with the problem.
This bit of amusement lasted for about two hours until the end of the day when Elder Hill, who had been writing copious notes, came to our table and asked, "Is it 7 Fayette Center?" I replied that was correct. He said, "I had that in my notes but it didn't sound like an address."
I usually don't answer the telephone when I see any 800-number calls, but let them go to voice mail, but today, I was waiting on a call-back verification on my "New Yorker" subscription which I had just accepted a few minutes earlier.
The caller told me that his name was "Scott" and he wanted to tell me about exciting new benefits on my Discover Card. Recognizing that his voice sounded as if he were from India, I asked, "How's the weather in Mumbai?" He timidly laughed a little and said, "Oh, I'm in Kolkuta!" I knew that "Calcutta" had been replaced by "Kolkuta" but I didn't know about the pronunciation. I said, "I didn't know that's how it is pronounced!" He had said "Kohl-kuh-tuh" whereas I would have still have pronounced it as "Cal-cut-uh". After a short, but polite conversation, I declined the services offered.
I just received the following e-mail from my friend Lee, and I don't know if it is true, but I am going to try it:
Subject: "800" number calls
Any time you call an 800 number for a credit card, banking, charter communications, health and other insurance, computer help desk, etc., and you find that you're talking to a foreign customer service representative (perhaps in India, Philippines, etc.) please consider doing the following:
After you connect and you realize that the customer service representative is not from the USA (you can always ask if you are not sure about the accent), please, very politely (this is not about trashing other cultures) say, "I'd like to speak to a customer service representative in the United States of America."
The representative might suggest talking to his/her manager, but again, politely say, "Thank you, but I'd like to speak to a customer service representative in the USA."
YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY CONNECTED TO A REP IN THE USA.
It takes less than one minute to have your call re-directed to the USA. Tonight when I got redirected to a U.S. representative, I asked again to make sure, and yes, she was from Fort Lauderdale.
Imagine what would happen if every US citizen insisted on talking to only U.S. phone representatives from this day forward. Imagine how that would ultimately impact the number of US jobs that would need to be created ASAP.
If I tell 10 people to consider this and you tell 10 people to consider doing this--see what I mean--it becomes an exercise in Viral Marketing 101.
Remember, the goal here is to restore jobs here at home; not to be abrupt or rude to a foreign phone representative. It is not their fault U.S. companies outsourced the jobs.
Because of my blog article on July 6 ("IF GRANDMA DID") where I mentioned that my friend Patty said her macaroni and cheese was the best, I have had numerous comments about macaroni and cheese and several people have let me know theirs is the best. I suggested they all bring samples, because I am a connoisseur of great macaroni and cheese. A young friend said his grandmother's was the best and that the recipe was from his great-great grandmother. As we were talking on the telephone, I told him to read it to me and he said, "I don't know what this is but maybe you do; it's called EVAPORATED MILK!" I laughed and said, "That's another old person's word like OLEO!" Last year I wrote an article "OLEO" (see link) in which I mentioned that I was removing the word "oleo" from my vocabulary, because it's an old person's word.
After all, although I am understated, yet I am a woman of the 21st century and must stay au courant and not use outdated words.
Here is my friend's recipe as he e-mailed to me:
THERE AREN'T ANY MEASUREMENTS TO THIS RECIPE. IT HAS BEEN IN MY FAMILY FOR 5 GENERATIONS.
TAKE A PAN, BRING WATER TO A BOIL, ADD A PINCH OF SALT, PLACE IN YOUR MACARONI TO COOK.
PREHEAT OVEN TO 375.
TAKE ANOTHER PAN, ADD ABOUT 1/3 CAN OF EVAPORATED MILK, THROW IN ABOUT A TABLESPOON OF BUTTER, FOUR SHAKES OF SALT, FOUR SHAKES OF PEPPER, AND BRING TO A BOIL.
TAKE TWO BLOCKS OF COLBY CHEESE AND SLICE INTO PIECES ABOUT 1/2 INCH THICK.
NOW, TAKE A LARGE BAKING PAN, GREASE WITH BUTTER. ADD A LAYER OF YOUR NOODLE ABOUT 1 INCH THICK. NOW, TAKE YOUR CHEESE SLICES AND MAKE A LAYER OVER THE NOODLES UNTIL YOU CANNOT SEE ANY OF THE NOODLES. NOW, REPEAT THAT STEP UNTIL THE PAN IS FULL.
ONCE THE PAN IS FULL AND YOU HAVE A LAYER OF COLBY CHEESE AT THE TOP, TAKE SHREDDED MOZZARELLA AND SPRINKLE IT OVER THE COLBY CHEESE LAYER. NOT TOO MUCH. YOU STILL WANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE THE COLBY CHEESE.
TAKE YOUR MILK MIXTURE AND POUR IT ALL EVENLY OVER THE PAN.
PLACE IN OVEN AND BAKE UNTIL THE CHEESE IS MELTED TO A GOLDEN BROWN.
For my birthday I have one of two cakes: my mother's Coconut Cake or a Strawberry Whipped Cream Cake; last year was the coconut cake; this year the Strawberry Whipped Cream Cake. Christy Cooper, a woman who worked for me made the delicious Strawberry Whipped Cream Cake in 1997 for my birthday and people were literally licking the cake plate.
My brother Les made this PIECE DE RESISTANCE this year (see picture).
STRAWBERRY WHIPPED CREAM CAKE RECIPE
THE CAKE
Preheat oven to 325 degrees
1 10-inch cake pan, greased and floured
1 Duncan Hines white cake mix 1/4 cup flour 3 egg whites 1/2 teaspoon almond extract 1/4 cup Crisco oil 1 1/3 cups water Mix together, using package directions. Bake at 325 degrees for 50-60 minutes until done (springs back to touch, toothpick inserted comes out clean; cake comes away clean from pan)
FILLING/ICING
1 quart + 1/2 pint heavy whipping cream 8 tablespoons powdered sugar 8 tablespoons piping gel (Christy used clear; Les uses red to make it pink) 2 teaspoons clear vanilla
Beat whipping cream and sugar together until it forms a soft peak. Add piping gel and vanilla. Beat until a soft peak. Divide into two portions.
To one portion add 4 cups of fresh, sliced, strawberries.
Slice cake in the center and place on cake plate. Spread strawberry cream mixture on the cake.
Place other layer on top. Spread remainder of whipped cream icing on the top and sides of cake.
Refrigerate before and after serving.
TIP from my mother: Put mixing bowl, beaters and spatula in freezer an hour prior to making the whipped cream, especially in hot and humid times; it helps to keep the whipped cream firm.
I have a wonderful friend whom I cherish; she and I have been friends since 1967; she has the characteristics that one desires in a friend: loyalty, candor, compassion; I have no doubt that she would "give me the shirt off her back" and I always say she epitomizes what a true friend is: one who will be there when it's the last place she would want to be; she's always "been there" for me!
BUT she has one fault: she never remembers WHEN my birthday is!
This is a typical exchange:
She will call, SOMETIME in July, nearly always AFTER my birthday, and say, "I KNOW your birthday is this month but I didn't put it on the calendar." I once again tell her WHEN it is and I always receive a lovely present.
So, WHY am I kvetching?
I have NEVER forgotten her birthday and I usually take her to lunch, and that takes pre-planning. One year, however, I was going to be out of town BUT I called her the day before her birthday and told her I would be traveling and that we could celebrate when I returned. I sent flowers to her home on her birthday. The day AFTER her birthday she called and told me that she couldn't believe that I didn't CALL her ON her birthday because I always had in the past. I told her that's why I had called her the day BEFORE and I asked, "Did you get the flowers?" She said that she had and, frankly, I wondered why she was whimpering. I couldn't get upset because I heard the plaintive sound in her voice when she said, "I kept telling everybody that you would be calling ANY minute because you never forget!" It's good that the CALL was more important than the material things!
Today I received 6 early birthday cards: one from my banker, one from my insurance agent, and four from my friend Patty which is typical from her. My brother Les brought in the mail and said, "It looks like you got a bunch of cards from Patty but one of them has different writing on it." I just sent Patty an e-mail to tell her she outdid herself this year: the card with the "different writing" had this message: "REMEMBERING YOU IN 2011, BEST WISHES ALWAYS" and Patty had signed my negligent friend's name! As I wrote to Patty, "I fell on the floor laughing and peed my pants."
Oh, Patty, to paraphrase Gerald, "I have you for my friend because of your sense of humor but I found out the joke was on me!"
When people read my blog items, I'm sure a thought or idea is brought to mind. If you have a similar situation or event, I'd love it if you would share it with me. If you have an idea to share, LEAVE ME A COMMENT.
It has been brought to my attention that some readers are not familiar with HOW to comment. Therefore, I will try to explain it. While I appreciate all the personal emails, feel free to try this method and LEAVE ME A COMMENT on my blog.
At the bottom of each blog item, you will see a line starting with "Posted by Sue at" and the word "comments." Click on the word "comments."
Your computer screen will change and a box opens entitled "Post a Comment." Type your comment, thought, or idea in that box. Under the box, the line reads "Comment as: 'Select profile'. Look at the drop down box and choose your preferred method: Google Account, OpenID, Anonymous, WordPress, etc.
If you have a Google Account, a "gmail" email address, or have a Blogger blog, sign in with your account information. If you would like to be Anonymous, choose that method.
After you have chosen your comment method, click on the box below it for "Post Comment." You will then see a 'word verification' item which is Google's way of proving you are a person, not generic spamming. If you type in the correct capcha word, your comment will be posted. If for some reason the word is not spelled correctly, you will be given another chance with a different word.
It's that easy. Give it a try - LEAVE ME A COMMENT, and thank you for reading my blog.
I am fascinated to know the origin of sayings and cliches. I have several books on the subject. My grandmother and mother had a trove of sayings and my brothers and I use them frequently but I notice that most younger people do not "GET" them. One old saying I do NOT use is "RULE OF THUMB" because it stems from the fact that in old English law a man was allowed to punish his wife and children with a rod as large as this THUMB!
Some interesting ones:
"GOD WILLING AND THE CREEK DON'T RISE" is an ungrammatical rendering of "God willing and the CREEKS don't rise". It was written by Benjamin Hawkins, who was asked by the President to return to Washington from his diplomatic mission with the Creek Indians. He wrote: "God willing and the Creeks don't rise.", meaning Native Americans and not a body of water.
"IT WILL COST AN ARM AND A LEG": Painters would charge for portraits based on the number of limbs in a picture as limbs, especially hands, are more difficult to render, thus artists would charge more for all the arms and legs in a picture. (e.g.: notice on a number of portraits of George Washington; one has him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms.)
"BIG WIG": In the old days, people bathed just twice a year; women kept their hair covered and men shaved their heads (because of lice) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford nice wigs made from wool. They couldn't wash the wigs so to clean them, they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell and bake for thirty minutes. The heat would make the wigs big and fluffy, hence the term "BIG WIG".
"CHAIRMAN": In the 1700s it was common to have just one chair in a room and a long wide board folded down for dining. The head of the household always sat in the chair while everyone else sat on the floor. Occasionally, when a male guest was there, he would be invited to sit in the chair. To sit in the chair meant that the person was important or in charge. The one sitting in the chair was the "CHAIR MAN".
"CRACK A SMILE", "LOSING FACE", and "MIND YOUR OWN BEES WAX": Women would spread melted bees wax over their face to remove unwanted hair and pimples. If she smiled while the wax was on her face, it would crack the wax, thus, "CRACK A SMILE"; if she sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt, thus "LOSING FACE"; if someone said something negative she would say, "MIND YOUR OWN BEES WAX"!
"STRAIGHT-LACED": A proper and dignified woman who required help lacing her corset in the back was said to be "STRAIGHT-LACED".
However, I am NOT going to tell the derivation of "HAVING YOUR TURN IN THE BARREL"!
The number one item on my birthday list: STRAWBERRY PAPER TOWELS. My kitchen is decorated with strawberries and I'm obsessive-compulsive enough to want everything TO MATCH! For years Bounty and Mardi Gras made them and I knew that my sister-in-law and niece from Gerald's side of the family would intrepidly shop store-to-store to find them.
One birthday several years ago my niece had given me an exquisite piece of Waterford which I believe that I showed proper appreciation for it.
When my sister-in-law came to the party, she was carrying a large, black, trash bag with a red bow tied around the top.
I immediately knew what was in it and I let out an exhilarated whoop: "Strawberry paper towels!"! The bag contained 26 rolls--a roll a week for half the year--of course I was excited!
The next time I was alone with my niece she asked if I had really liked the Waterford and I said that I adored it. She then said she couldn't believe the way I'd acted about the strawberry paper towels and that I seemed more excited about those than I did the Waterford!
OH, MY!
I explained that I knew that the Waterford was far more costly than the paper towels but I also knew that they had ALSO wanted to give me something I would truly appreciate and it was "our thing"! I continued and told her that the sister-in-law was on a fixed income but she and her daughter had searched for 6 months because they had given me a bag of 26 rolls of paper towels at Christmas and it was a challenge to find 26 more rolls.
Over the years it has become increasingly difficult to find the strawberry paper towels; Gerald has even checked on E-Bay, etc. to no avail.
My sister-in-law called today and said, "I haven't been able to find any strawberry paoer towels; how about if I get you an Olive Garden gift certificate?"
She and I have an ongoing joke: we hate to GIVE gift certificates because people know how much you've spent on them!
My brother Norman brought nine glorious cucumbers to me yesterday from his garden; I promptly sat on the couch with a salt shaker and devoured my first one of the season. For dinner I sliced cucumbers along with tomatoes; that has always been my favorite since I was a child; the melding of those two flavors is exquisite.
Tonight, the side dish was sliced cucumbers and sliced Vidalia onions drenched in Ranch Dressing. On our honeymoon 40 years ago we had that dish in a restaurant and I asked for the recipe. The waiter returned and had a tray with a cucumber, an onion, salt, pepper, and a bottle of Ranch Dressing on it. Laughing, he said the Chef had told him to do that! I have fixed cucumbers that way ever since. I prefer the packets of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing Mix and then add the other ingedients rather than use the bottled dressing. Ranch Dressing was introduced in 1954. It had been created at the Hidden Valley Dude Ranch in Santa Barbara, CA. After a great number of visitors requested take-home bottles of the dressing, Steve and Gayle Henson, the owners of the ranch, started a small plant and manufactured the packets to sell retail. Years later the dressing was also bottled.
Tomorrow night we will have sliced cucumbers with sliced Vidalia onions which will be marinated in sweet pickle juice. Several times when people have looked in my refrigerator and have seen numerous jars of pickle juice, I have been quizzed about why I save pickle juice. "Waitin' for cucumbers!" is what I usually answer, but that's how we also pickle our beets.
WHAT A LITTLE GEM THE CUCUMBER IS!
1. Cucumbers contain nearly all of the vitamins needed daily. Cucumbers contain Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.
2. If you are feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates which can provide a quick pick-me-up which can last for hours.
3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror; it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.
4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few cucumber slices in a small pie tin and place it in your garden and the garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.
5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes; the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. They work great on wrinkles too!
6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache-free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!
7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and are often used by European trappers, traders and explorers for quick meals to thwart off starvation.
8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe; its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.
9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge and the squeak is gone!
10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water; the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber with react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown to reduce stress in new mothers and also to college students during final exams.
11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath; the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.
12. Looking for a "green" way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean; not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won't leave streaks and won't harm your fingers or fingernails while you clean.
13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing; also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!
Today, in line at the grocery store, a man who was two people behind me started talking and he said that if he saw Casey Anthony on the street she would get what was coming to her. I could not hear the reply of the person to whom he was speaking, but he continued talking about the different methods he would use to exterminate her. The woman behind me joined in, as did the cashier, all in agreement with his vigilante posturing. If they hadn't been supportive of him, I would probably have remained silent.
However, I stepped away from my cart and said, "Excuse me, SIR, but you would be JUST as bad as Casey Anthony and probably WORSE because your crime would be obviously PREMEDITATED!" He practically screamed at me, "I wasn't talking to you, so it's none of your business." I said, "As a citizen, it is my DUTY when I have heard threats against another human being to report it--what's your name anyway--VIGILANTE?"
He started to come away from his cart but I did not budge. He didn't say anything else and it was then my turn to be checked out, but as I was leaving, I turned and said, "Eric Rudolph thinks he was justified in killing people also!" I know that he answered something but I was too far away to hear.
When I returned home, Les warned me once again that I must refrain from these set-tos because this kind of person might be "packing heat"!
I have never viewed myself as one of those flighty women who would put their babies on top of the car and take off; last week I realized it's probably a good thing I never had a baby! It was raining and I was hurriedly putting things in my car to go to work at our group's Rummage Sale. I placed a tote on top of the car; it was filled with stickers, pens, notebook, tape, scissors and a silver bowl which I had taken home to polish. When I arrived at the sale I realized that the tote wasn't in the back seat of my car and had obviously fallen off somewhere between my house and the Rummage Sale location. Very embarrassed, I called my husband and asked him to trace my route to look for it. He said he saw no evidence along the way. When I confessed my story to my Rummage Sale co-workers, I became the object of jibes the remainder of the day! If something could not be readily located, invariably one would say, "It's probably in the tote!"
This happened the day after a person was sighted in New York tossing a Russian Blue kitten out the window on the Verrazano Narrows Bridge. Fortunately, the kitten was rescued and was promptly named "Verrazano".
I asked if anyone had seen the story about the kitten and Carla said, "I heard Verrazano was in the tote!"
Years ago, Amanda, a young woman who worked for me, called, crying, and told me there was a kitten in her dumpster. She said she could hear it mewing, but she couldn't get into the dumpster and asked if I could help. I immediately dispatched the knight-in-shining-armor Gerald and he took a ladder to her apartment and got in the dumpster and rescued the kitten. Thus "Rumpke" was a part of our lives! Les said, "Good thing it wasn't a Waste Management dumpster!"
Two years ago, a neighbor from down the street called and asked if we were the folks who had cats. Immediately self-defensive and thinking she probably thought that we were the "crazy cat people on the corner", I timidly answered that we had cats. She told me that she and her daughter had been walking and they saw a kitten trapped in a storm drain and asked for our help. Gerald went, leaned over and called, "Here, kitty, kitty," and the kitten jumped out of the drain. Thus we've had "Stormy" in our lives! Les said, "Good thing it wasn't in the sewer or it would've been named Ed Norton."
For more cat-naming items, go to SASHA FIERCE in my blog archives!
Yesterday, a friend and I had had lunch at a local eatery "Our Place Restaurant". [I always make sure to say or write "Our Place Restaurant" after an incident when I'd told someone to meet at "OUR PLACE" and they thought I meant "our house".] At the cashier's there are always business cards strewn on the desk and I always look at them. I picked up one card and the headline was "Emerging Ohio Author"; of course I was immediately fascinated; however, the second line on the card left me dismayed.
"Mystery/suspence novelist"
Heading out the door I told my friend, "She has her e-mail address on the card; I'm sure that a writer would want to know about an error on her business card."
Below is a history of the e-mail correspondence between the "Emerging Ohio Author" and me. My observation is that she does not pay close attention to detail. My brother remarked, "You should say, "Don't call me Shirley!" like Leslie Nielsen!"
1) Subject: YOUR BUSINESS CARD
Dear Saundra,
I picked up your business card at Our Place Restaurant in Washington Court House, OH.
As an emerging Ohio author, mystery/suspense novelist and Southern Ohio fiction writer, I am sure that you would want to have "suspense" spelled suspense and not "suspence" on your next order of business cards.
Sincerely,
Sue Shirkey-Raypole
2) Date: Tue, 12 Jul 2011 16:50:41
Yes, Shirley thank you. I have new cards ordered now. Have you read any of my books? I believe the library in Washington CH has some.
Saundra
3) Subject: RE: YOUR BUSINESS CARD
My name is Sue.
I'll check with the library to see if your books are there.
Whenever my husband meets a girl named "Brandi", "Brandy" or "Brandee", he insists on singing the song "Brandi" which was a hit in 1972 by the group Looking Glass. The girls are usually embarrassed and if they are under the age of thirty they usually do not know the song! He also does this with "Mandy" and "Jean".
This serenading began with "Carrie Anne" which is his niece's name and her father named her after that song by the Hollies. The problem is that not many girls are named Carrie Anne.
An interesting bit of trivia: Barry Manilow's song "Mandy" was originally titled "Brandy" but when Looking Glass' song was released, Manilow changed the title to "Mandy" and it was a hit in 1974.
"Jean" by Rod McKuen is the theme song from the wonderful movie "The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie". The sappy, inferior song, so totally incongruous with the character of Jean in the movie, is exactly opposite of what the character Miss Jean Brodie (the "creme de la creme") would have expected for herself!
Although the song was nominated for an Academy Award, the concatenation of Rod McKuen and Oliver in collaboration on the song resulted in its being named one of the "100 Worst Songs" ever!
If you want to listen to the YouTube video of Brandi by Looking Glass, click here. The Miss Jean Brodie song is below.
A friend of mine was molested by her father and it began as she went into puberty and lasted until she eloped at age seventeen. She never saw her father again and she never allowed her two daughters to ever be around him. She has two older sisters but she believed that she was the only one abused because that is what her father told her. When my friend's younger sister was 12 years old, she told her sister what was happening to her. My friend called her two older sisters and learned that the same thing had happened to them. All four of them went to confront THEIR mother! WHY didn't they confront the father? WHY didn't they have him arrested? WHY had they ALL kept the secrets? This is my generation and unfortunately, none felt that they could bear the SHAME! My friend's sister never returned to her parents' home and was reared by my friend and her husband.
If I were Casey Anthony and my father had molested me, I don't believe that I would have remained in that household any longer than it would have taken me to escape! Furthermore, I don't believe that I would have allowed my little girl to be anywhere near one who had molested me. The accusation that Casey Anthony's father molested her is patently absurd. No matter how "dysfunctional" the family is portrayed, that strains credulity.
I heard one juror proudly state that the prosecution had not met its burden of proof and that there was no "evidence" of homicide; yet in the next sentence state that it "might" have been an accident. There was NO "evidence" presented of an accident; only the defense attorney expounding on that in his opening statement. The jury did not consider the evidence; but they obviously considered a brilliant opening statement by the defense attorney making wild accusations which were never proved.
One of our "green-minded" young acquaintances shamed us into buying some CFL bulbs. Being skeptics, Les marked each one as Gerald replaced them, and one bulb, in a family room lamp, which burns continuously, has lasted more than a year. That was encouraging and I bought more. Recently, the young visitor was dismayed that we had not changed all the bulbs. As we were looking at one of the chandeliers, I said, "It's a matter of PRESENTATION VERSUS PRINCIPLE!" Gerald then did his imitation of my crying crocodile tears while proclaiming, "I don't want ugly bulbs in the chandeliers!"
The young whippersnapper sighed and said, "I guess it's hard for old people to change!" I asked, "Change? That's the problem; we have changed TOO much and people of your generation just want to throw away and get more instead of reusing and recycling."
I then launched into a lecture: "Let me tell you about conservation and recycling!" I told him that when I was his age we had no choice--we had to reuse and recycle--we returned milk bottles, pop bottles and beer bottles to the stores for redemption. We had to walk up steps because we had no escalators or elevators in our schools and stores. We had to ride a school bus because our parents didn't buy us cars or have mothers as a taxi service. We didn't have $300 tennis shoes. We had TV, but not one in every room and we had to share the one telephone; nobody had their own "personal" phone. When we mailed a package, we used crumpled newspapers for cushioning, not Styrofoam or bubble wrap. The boys had to use a push mower run by human power. We had no allowances but had to work menial jobs to have any spending money. We got plenty of exercise and didn't need to join a health club or waste electricity using a treadmill at home. We drank from a water fountain and did not have plastic bottles with custom water! They used matches to light cigarettes instead of "disposable" ones; they refilled their pens and repaced razor blades instead of throwing away the whole thing.
We received a "free" Christmas tree with a load of coal. Mother had only cloth diapers; she didn't fill landfills with the indestructible kind! She made clothes using a treadle Singer sewing machine and we wore hand-me-downs, and in my case, "hand-me-ups"! We wore darned socks and patched clothes. Meals were made "from scratch" and not from "processed" convenience foods. She would cook any wild game the boys caught except for opossum or raccoon!
Mother used newspaper and kindling to start fires in the coal heat stove. For entertainment, we played card and board games; we even read "for fun" and not because we had to for school. We had no vacations. We had no bathroom yet we were always clean. My brothers had to carry water for my mother to be able to wash clothes on Mondays. The clothes were hung outside to dry in good weather and inside during bad weather. On wash day, we always had a pot of beans and either corn bread or skillet bread to go with it. I can still remember the smell of the clothes drying inside the house, mixed with the smell of coal burning, beans cooking and cornbread baking! My mother would pick "greens" in the spring, tend the garden in the summer and forage for raspberries, blackberries, elderberries and make pies, cakes, cobblers and jellies. My grandfather would bring tomatoes, cucumbers, corn, green beans and peppers which all needed to be "worked up". We would have hundreds of jars "put up" although most were stored under beds because of lack of space.
I can wax poetic about wilted lettuce and Kentucky Wonders but I realize how hard my mother worked to provide us with "special" things. As soon as I was able, I made sure Mother had modern conveniences; there is no nobility in drudgery.
I wish I didn't love my modern conveniences so much!
Don Marco was born in Northern Minnesota in the late 1920's. His interest in art was evident even before starting school. As a young adult in the Army Air Corps, he began his life's career in Air Traffic Control, which continued until his retirement from Honolulu International Airport in 1973. Much of his spare time was spent as a professional artist.
Before retirement, Don started developing a technique to create fine art, using Crayola Crayons. Shortly after retiring, he published his first print. Living in Southern California, his work was in demand, including commissions from Burt Reynolds and a one-man show at his Dinner Theater in Florida.
It's hard to imagine these are done with crayons! Burt Reynolds, Tom Selleck, James Arness, Geronimo, Clint Eastwood, Eagle
REMEMBER: CELL PHONE NUMBERS BECAME PUBLIC JUNE 30, 2011
On JUNE 30, 2011, all cell phone numbers were released to telemarketing companies and we will start to receive sales calls.
YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS
To prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone: 888-382-1222.
It is the NATIONAL DO NOT CALL list. It will only take a minute of your time. It blocks your number for five (5) years. You must call from the cell phone number you want to have blocked. You cannot call from a different phone number.
HELP OTHERS BY PASSING THIS ON. It takes about 20 seconds.
As a kid, I became an Audrey Hepburn fan the first time I saw her in "Roman Holiday". I was taken by her background of escaping from the Nazis, her beauty, talent, charity work and she became my ideal.
In 1953, while she was making the movie "Sabrina", she met the designer Hubert de Givenchy and they became close friends; although she chose clothes for the movie from his collection, Edith Head received an Oscar for the movie although the clothes were Givenchy's creations. The "Sabrina" look was very fashionable. Givenchy designed clothes for Audrey's other movies as well as for her personal use. In 1957, Hubert Givenchy created a perfume exclusively for Audrey for her personal use and gave it to her as a surprise. Audrey's friends soon wanted the perfume and she asked Givenchy to put it on the market. He said, jokingly, "I forbid it", thus the name "L'Interdit", which means "the forbidden" in French. As soon as he was ready to launch the perfume, Audrey offered her help for the ad campaign. Audrey refused to negotiate any compensation from Givenchy for using her name and image; she said she just wanted to help a friend.
Advertisements for the perfume appeared in fashion magazines with Richard Avedon photographs of Audrey with the caption "Once, she was the only woman allowed to wear this perfume. L'Interdit Created by Givenchy for Audrey Hepburn". I knew that it had to be MY perfume, but I was a kid and I obviously could not have it, but when I grew up and went to work, my first "luxury" I rewarded myself with was to go to Lazarus to buy a bottle of L'Interdit! I wore the perfume from the 1960s until it was discontinued in the 1990s. For several years I could order it from Europe but then that supply evaporated. I had to select another perfume.
In 2002 the "re-formulated" L'Interdit was introduced and I was greatly disappointed because it was nothing like the original. There is a webpage dedicated to comments about how terrible the "reformulated" perfume is. L'Interdit users are obviously loyal and passionate!
I still have a partially-used box of L'Interdit powder and can continue to open that box to recall the original scent. I have kept the beautiful, empty classic bottles.
My fantasy is to be able to acquire the original formula for L'Interdit and go to the House of Caron and have them duplicate it for me.
Yesterday, I commented how good the zucchini tasted that I had just prepared for dinner. My brother piped up, "IF GRANDMA DID!", thus the inspiration for this article.
My grandmother was always very boastful, but being a passive-aggressive type, she always qualified her boasts to "fish" for compliments. She would compliment herself by saying, for example, "That pie is really good, IF GRANDMA DID." That was gauged to elicit a compliment from all assembled.
My mother disliked the grandmother's constant prideful vaunting and could not tolerate that unseemly behavior. Any time my siblings and I were caught bragging, one could always expect the admonishment "If Grandma did." from my mother. My mother did not believe in corporal punishment and her method of punishment was to tell us we were "acting just like" some wretched family member. One should never be "briggety" or "too big for your britches", but she was always complimentary to us and bragged about us, but no self-aggrandizement was allowed.
My friend Patty e-mailed me today and wrote that the macaroni and cheese she'd made for the family gathering was "awesome". I responded that I had made Martha Stewart's recipe for "best" macaroni and cheese but that my mother's was better. I then told her that I had also used Joy Behar's recipe for lasagna (which Whoopi said was the best) but that MINE is better.
When my brother Bode returned from Iceland during the Korean War, he brought home a bottle of Caron's "Nuit de Noel" perfume for my mother. In a green and white oval box was a beautiful ebony flacon with a glass stopper. When Mother opened the bottle it had the most heavenly scent. Mother kept the perfume put away and used it only on the most special occasions. For my 8th grade graduation, I can recall the stopper dabbed behind my ears and I felt so grown-up! When I grew up I was able to buy "Nuit de Noel" for my mother to use regularly but it never smelled as good as it did from the ebony flacon. She would wear it occasionally--and always on Christmas--but she grew to prefer Passion and Opium.
The "Nuit de Noel" box and bottle were kept in my mother's jewel box and I opened it today and when I removed the stopper the scent is still there after nearly sixty years!
I checked on E-Bay and the same "Nuit de Noel" flacon, sans presentation box, is selling for $39.95 + shipping! I wonder what it would bring with the box.
The House of Caron is still in business and still sells "Nuit de Noel".
I received my very own perfume for my sixteenth birthday when my sister-in-law Betty gave me a bottle of Avon's "Cotillion" in a pearescent pink bottle. Whenever Avon brings out its "classic" editions I always sniff the "Cotillion" and wonder how I could have worn it! Betty sold Avon so I always had a supply. My best friend's mother wore "L'air du Temps" and another friend's mother wore "Chanel No. 5" but nothing smelled as good as "Nuit de Noel" on my mother!
Yankee Doodle by A. M. Willard, now known as Spirit of 76.
During the American Revolution, the legal separation of the Thirteen Colonies from Great Britain occurred on July 2, 1776, when the Second Continental Congress voted to approve a resolution of independence that had been proposed in June by Richard Henry Lee of Virginia. After voting for independence, Congress turned its attention to the Declaration of Independence, a statement explaining this decision, which had been prepared by a Committee of Five, with Thomas Jefferson as its principal author. Congress debated and revised the Declaration, finally approving it on July 4.
Independence Day is a national holiday marked by patriotic displays. Similar to other summer-themed events, Independence Day celebrations often take place outdoors. Independence Day is a federal holiday, so all non-essential federal institutions (like the postal service and federal courts) are closed on that day. Families often celebrate Independence Day by hosting or attending a picnic or barbecue and take advantage of the day off and, in some years, long weekend to gather with relatives. Decorations (e.g., streamers, balloons, and clothing) are generally colored red, white, and blue, the colors of the American flag.
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.
So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.
The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says.
This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"
The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.
He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
WRITTEN BY REGINA BRETT, 90 YEARS OLD, OF THE CLEVELAND PLAIN DEALER:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 11. It's OK to let your children see you cry. 12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. 14. Take a deep breath; It calms the mind. 15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. 16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. 17. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else. 18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer. 19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 20. Over prepare, then go with the flow. 21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. 22. The most important sex organ is the brain. 23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?" 25. Always choose life. 26. Forgive everyone everything. 27. What other people think of you is none of your business. 28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. 29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 31. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. 32. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young. 33. Your children get only one childhood. 34. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. 35. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. 36. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. 37. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 38. The best is yet to come... 39. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 40. Yield. 41. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
At the SB5 Parade I was located in front of the bagpipers who were firefighters from many parts of Ohio. We had a lengthy wait before the start of the Parade and as the bagpipers were tuning up, they practiced by playing "The Minstrel Boy". It's one of my favorite Irish folk songs. Of course, I started singing along, at the top of my lungs:
"The minstrel boy to the war is gone, In the ranks of death you will find him, His father's sword he hath girded on And his wild harp slung behind him."
I skipped to my favorite part:
"No chains shall sully thee, Thou soul of love and bravery, Thy songs were made for the pure and free They shall never sound in slavery!"
The piper next to me said, "Most people don't know the lyrics." I said, "Most Irish people do!"
His kilt was beautiful and I asked him about the tartan as I had never seen the style. He said it was the Western Isles tartan. His son was a drummer and wore the same Western Isles tartan.
At home, I told my brother about the pipers and as I started singing, he said, "Oh, that's the song from "Black Hawk Down" and "Saving Private Ryan".
