FLITTER

Once, during our annual "State Of The Company" event, it was during a recession and we were all worried about losing our jobs; we used the euphemism "laid-off" because we knew, as management, that it actually meant termination.

During the "social hour" my friend John and I were standing together and we were watching a colleague (nicknamed "Flitter") who was "working the room"--flitting from VIP to VIP--she was very attractive and the kind of woman who used her "charm" for advancement but it also caused other women to have a difficult time being considered to be professional.

As "Flitter" approached our area, John asked, "You think if I went over and offered Kevin a BJ I'd keep my job?" The same moment "Flitter" whisked by, totally ignoring our presence, and because of John's remark, I did a spit-take, and my mouthful of Coke and saliva landed on Flitter's padded shoulder! She was so self-involved with her mission that she didn't notice. John said, "Come on, let's follow her and have bets how long it takes for somebody to notice that glob on her!"

There she was, with the General Manager, all dimples and smiles, and John went over and said, "Hey, excuse me, do you know you got some gunk on your shoulder!" She let out a yelp and rushed to the restroom!

It didn't deter her as we noticed that the "charm offensive" by "Flitter" soon continued.

John was "laid-off" in February, I was gone in April and "Flitter" was gone in June! John and I met to have lunch and he said, "Four months of work isn't worth all that sucking up!" I laughed and said, "I thought of "Charlotte's Web" where the goose told Wilbur "An hour of freedom is worth a barrel of slops!" When the economy recovered, "Flitter" and John were called back to work within the year. When I was called for an interview to return I was already working at what was the best job of my entire life and I did not return until six years later when we had completed that Contract.

When I saw "Flitter" she welcomed me as if we were the best of friends. I experienced a bit of schadenfreude as "Flitter" had gained a considerable amount of weight in the six years and I was the slimmest of my adult life!

My assignment was in the Department that was considered the "armpit" of the Company where Union radicalism was rampant! After I was hired my friend John told me the following story: the Department Manager did not know me and he called my former boss to ask him about me and he said that he "didn't want to hire another woman because they'd assigned "Flitter" there and she'd run out of the department crying!" John said he told him, "YOU will run out of the Department crying before Sue does!"