A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids." ---------------------------------- An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife." ---------------------------------- While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied "You'd never get it all in one. -- He's still in intensive care. ---------------------------------- And, The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the preacher and calmly said, "Well, she's there."
Kids are putting Drano, aluminum, and a little water in soda bottles and capping it up and leaving them on lawns. When a person picks up the trash, and the bottle is shaken just a little, in about 30 seconds or less it builds up a gas and explodes with enough force to remove some of one's extremities. The liquid that comes out is boiling hot as well.
Don't pick up any plastic bottles that may be lying in your yards or in the gutter, etc. Pay attention to this. A plastic bottle with a cap. A little Drano. A little water. A small piece of aluminum. Disturb it by moving it; and BOOM! No fingers left and other serious damage to your face, eyes, etc.
People are finding these "bombs" in mailboxes and in their yards, just waiting for one to pick it up intending to put it in the trash. It takes about 30 seconds to blow after the bomb is moved.
I haven't published any "CRINGE--FAYETTE COUNTY TALK" items lately. Here are a few new ones for the collection:
ANYWAYS instead of ANYWAY
SPOILT instead of SPOILED
PID-GENTS instead of PIGEONS
PUNDINT instead of PUNDIT
ACROSSED instead of ACROSS
FEBYUARY instaed of FEBRUARY
USED TO instead of USE TO
REOCCUR instead of RECUR
Someone, in discussing a crochet project, mentioned that she had 20 "motifs" completed. Unfortunately she pronounced it "mot-iff" instead of "Moe-teef".
I used the term "Dagwood Sandwich" recently and a young friend had never heard the term; I didn't even know if Dagwood and Blondie were still in the "funny papers"! Yes, "Blondie" is still syndicated.
In a family and friend survey, the following were determined to be examples of "YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD IF" you remember these:
PARTY LINES BUTCH WAX S & H GREEN STAMPS DRIVE-INS TINKER TOYS CANDY CIGARETTES RESTAURANTS WITH TABLESIDE JUKEBOXES PEASHOOTERS KUKLA, FRAN AND OLLIE ROLLER SKATE KEYS WATCHING ANNETTE GROW WAX COKE-SHAPED BOTTLES WITH COLORED SUGAR WATER INSIDE LINCOLN LOGS PHONOGRAPHS HI-FI SETS 45-RPM RECORDS (78 AND 33 1/3 TOO) METAL ICE CUBE TRAYS WITH LEVERS FULLER BRUSH MAN THE "TWIST", "MASHED POTATO" AND "LOCOMOTION" ERECTOR SETS HOWDY DOODY MIMEOGRAPH POP DISPENSED IN GLASS BOTTLES HOME MILK DELIVERY IN GLASS BOTTLES WITH CARDBOARD STOPPERS NEWSREELS BEFORE MOVIES REEL-TO-REEL TAPE RECORDERS BLUE FLASH BULBS HULA HOOP CONTESTS BLACKJACK, TEABERRY AND CLOVE CHEWING GUM
Les said that I should have a site dedicated just for my supermarket/restaurant encounters.
Today, I was in line in the grocery and I noticed a cart filled with Easter lilies. A woman in front of me and I had been commenting about the crowds at the stores and we both said we'd come out on Thursday because we thought that Friday would be very crowded. I noticed a cart with Easter lilies significantly reduced in price. I said to the woman, "I'd like to have one, but those look rather pathetic." She answered, "You don't think you can RESURRECT them?" I let out a guffaw and said, "VERY good!" She and I then discussed the problems associated with people not appreciating (or "getting") our humor.
I told her several stories and she shared several with me. She told me how funny her father is. Unfortunately, he had to have a leg amputated recently. Several people brought peppermint candy to him as they knew he favored it. Several people extolled the benefits of peppermint (good for the stomach, etc.) and her father agreed, but then he asked, "You know what happens if you eat too much of it?" None knew the answer; he said, "They cut off your leg!"
When the nieces and nephews were young, I always made an Easter cake: yellow cake with white frosting and coconut and on the top of the cake, a green-tinted coconut nest with jelly beans in the nest. As they grew older some of the kids started to make fun of the cake and I quit making them.
A few years ago, we had Gerald's poker party on the Saturday before Easter with some of his family and some of mine in attendance. By this time, the nieces and nephews had their own children, so I decided to have an indoor Easter Egg Hunt, a pinata and the usual "Easter Dinner". I saw Gerad's niece's little boy whispering to her and suddenly she asked, "Where's the Dumb-*** Cake with the green coconut and jelly beans?" I answered, "You guys started making fun of it so I quit making it." She said, "But I've been telling my kids about it!" This year, her children are teenagers, and they'll be moving away soon; I'm going to make a Dumb-*** Easter Cake as a surprise.
Click here to see the new Facebook page "1 Million Strong To Turn Off Fox."
At local establishments which have televisions playing, it is alarming to see the number which have the Fox "News" channel playing. Each time, I ask that the channel be changed, with varying results.
I took an elderly friend of mine to a local doctor's office and Fox "News" was playing in the waiting room. When I asked to have the channel changed, the woman at the desk asked why and I told her that it was "offensive"; she answered that it was just "news"; I told her that it was "propaganda"; she said that she couldn't change it. I asked, "Then you're telling me that you have no way to use the remote control?" She looked stunned. I said, "That's what CAN'T means--that you're unable to do it--perhaps you meant to say WON'T!" She did not respond. I asked, haughtily, "To whom do I need to speak to have this offensive noise removed?" She said, whimpering, "Doctor wants it on." I said, "Tell DOCTOR that I want it OFF and does DOCTOR have a name?" [a pet peeve: personnel referring to THE doctor as DOCTOR instead of saying "THE doctor" or "Doctor X] She said she couldn't bother him. I said, "I wonder how DOCTOR is watching television when he's with patients." She didn't respond. I asked, "Then you are not going to change that channel?" She shook her head. I said, "Then I shall wait in my automobile and you can telephone me when he's ready to leave because I SHAN'T stay and listen to that propaganda!" When I went back in, I told the woman at the desk, "He needs his files because we're changing doctors."
At restaurants, the management personnel are usually very cooperative. Recently a friend of mine and I went to a local restaurant that we had been to previously and this time, she went to ask to have it changed! I'm so proud of her! At another restaurant, another friend asked to have the channel changed. I'm so proud of him.
In the 2006 election, a local restaurant had on its billboard a sign welcoming the candidate for Governor who was the opponent of my choice of candidate. This is a restaurant that I frequented at least once a week and had great camaraderie with the owner and staff. Insensed, I went into the restaurant and told the owner that I was very offended that he would have his place of business endorse the candidate. He answered that I could have my candidate come there also. I said, "But are YOU going to invite him and put it on the billboard?" He said, "They asked me if it was OK to have him stop here to meet people." I asked, "And you don't see that as an endorsement?" I said, "I will NEVER come back here and I will boycott you and tell all my family and friends about this." Two days later, I received four $5 gift certificates from him in the mail. [I've been known to comment that we're all whores; we all just have different prices. I guess my price is $20.00 since I went back there again!] In 2008, he told me that he voted for my candidate, and I said, "That's marvelous, especially since you're still registered with the other Party." He winced and asked how I knew. I answered, "I didn't; I just wanted to test you!" (I must say that he has been very generous to all my non-political CAUSES.)
People work so hard to get rid of dandelions, but personally, they bring me nothing but warm feelings of happiness. Great memories of my Mom and the beautiful yellow bouquets we picked for her which she placed in in empty jelly jars full of water in the kitchen window so she "could look at them while she washed dishes".
Those are heartfelt and touching words. My mother once said that if dandelions weren't weeds, they would be prized for their beauty. My mother would also put our bouquets of dandelions in water and she would also wear the "dandelion bracelets" we would make. [See instructions] I called the bracelets her "Van Cleef and Arpels" because that was a popular giveaway item name on television shows when I was a kid. Mother would hold the dandelion under our chins to see the reflection.
In my family, we love dandelions. Every part of the dandelion is useful--the root, the leaf and the blossom--as well as the seeds! On Friday, I'm going to pick the largest blossoms that I can find and deep fry them! This is a yearly ritual. It will be a surprise to our dinner guests, but I know my brother and I will eat them, just in memory. My mother always picked a "mess" of greens, but being a non-drinker, there was no dandelion wine, but she used the root for tea and "potions". The sap from the stems was also good to use on bee stings or other insect bites.
HOW TO MAKE DANDELION CHAINS
Is there anything more evocative of summer than a dandelion chain? Dandelion chains, like summer itself, are beautiful, quick to wilt and childlike. Make a few for yourself or teach a child.
1 Pick dandelions with long, thick stems, one at a time.
2 Attach the dandelions to one another by tying the stem in a knot around the previous dandelion stem close to the flower. Double knots work best.
3 Tie the two ends of the chain together when you have reached the desired length.
4 Or make a short slit halfway down the stem of one dandelion.
5 Insert the stem end of a second dandelion into the slit and push it down through the first dandelion as far as it will go.
6 Make a slit halfway down the second dandelion and insert a third dandelion.
7 Continue until your chain is a little longer than you want it to be. Tie the last stem to the first dandelion near the flower.
Why do people have the compulsion to be the FIRST one to tell something; especially bad news? A "well-meaning" person called yesterday to tell me news about the child of a friend of mine, but also told me NOT to tell from whom the information originated. I said that I wasn't going to tell. This morning, I learned that that so-called "well-meaning" person e-mailed my friend with the news; obviously, the person had tried to manipulate me into telling her; when I said that I wouldn't--the compulsion to deliver the news must have been too great--he just had to be the first one to tell!
Last year, I was told about an incident which allegedly involved the child of another friend of mine. A person called me and excitedly told me that my friend's child was "in trouble". I stated emphatically that I did not believe the story and the person who had called me stated that she heard it on "the scanner"; the story was totally false, without a shred of evidence, and the incident was actually about a totally different person.
This week I e-mailed that same person and told her a negative story about someone whom she likes, who is allegedly "in trouble". She experienced the same outrage as I had last year and she told me that it couldn't be true, that she didn't believe it, and she would wait for proof such as an indictment or arrest. I told that because of the confidential source, I believe it is true.
So, what's the difference in what I did and what she did? I did NOT state it as a fact; she stated hers AS a fact last year. [My BLOG article "BUZZ" tells the story of last year's incident and the anguish of being a victim of lies!]
There are very few people whom I care about their opinion of me, but one of them is my brother and when I told him about this, he asked, "And who are YOU to be teaching lessons? get off that self-righteous horse." [WHAT? He knows me too well. "teaching lessons"? "self-righteous" Oh, he has me there! POINT TAKEN!] Today, I AM ashamed of myself for trying to "teach a lesson" and repeating gossip! I am constantly lecturing other people, "Were you there?", "You don't know that as a fact", "You shouldn't say that unless you're sure", etc. Obviously I am also guilty!
Recently, I had three people call me to give me the "scoop" about the child of another friend of mine. All three had differing versions and as it turned out, all three were wrong, but they used the excuses, "It was on the scanner", "Her sister said," and "The cops said", when they relayed the stories. When I talked to those three people later, they all shrugged it off as if it were of little consequence; none had the grace to apologize for disseminating false information. There was just ONE grain of truth in all of their stories--they had the name right--but nothing else!
Once, a family member of mine told about the daughter of a famous person who attended the same college, and said she used drugs and I answered, "The ONLY way you would know if that's true is if you'd been there using drugs with her!" My grandmother once told about a person who didn't "belong" to the supposed father and I, as, a 12-year-old said, "Then you must have been in the bed with them, Granny!" Granny told my mother that I needed to be whipped for talking disrespectfully to her. My mother told her that I was the one who was right and she should be whipped for telling the story. [That's my mother!]
One time, we had a horrible person who called "to give condolences" before we had been notified of a death. That's another reason I do not use the local doctors or hospital because that person worked at the hospital and should NOT have been calling just because she wanted to be the "first to tell'!
Wisdom from Eleanor Roosevelt:
People with GREAT minds talk about IDEAS.
People with AVERAGE minds talk about EVENTS.
People with SMALL minds talk about other PEOPLE.
When I bought my Corvette, my brother and I took it for a spin the next day. I knew we were going faster than I had gone the previous day. The speedometer is recessed so I had to lean over to see how fast we were going and it was 120. I had taken it up to 100. I didn't say anything, but he looked at me and said, "This is the closest to heaven we'll ever get!"
Recently, I thought that a friend spelled a word incorrectly in a posting. Being helpful, and reacting the way I would want done for me, I sent an e-mail, thinking it was probably just a typo. In her response, she thought she had spelled it correctly, but in fact, she'd used an incorrect word, not an incorrect spelling. In telling my brother about it I said that the correct word was a "homonym" and could have been confusing; I was immediately corrected by being told it was a homograph! To add insult to injury he said, "Not to be confused with homophones and heteronyms!" Damn you, Smarty-Pants, for knowing that!
HOMOGRAPHS: words which are spelled the same but have different pronunciations: e. g.:
WOUND MINUTE PROGRESS BASS AGAPE BOW ENTRANCE SEWER LEARNED MOPED NUMBER ABUSE ADDRESS CLOSE
I have written about my brother Bode in glowing terms because he was a great brother, but he had one terrible flaw: Bode had a weight problem, but you must understand, it wasn't HIS own weight problem as he was never overweight; he had a problem with anybody else who was overweight. His wife and daughter were criticized for years because of their weight. After Bode died, his widow lost a great deal of weight. I recall my mother saying, "Well, why couldn't she have done that when he was alive?" I answered, "She's still going through the five stages of grief and she's still pissed off at him for dying!" Mother didn't like that explanation.
One time, another brother and sister-in-law were home on leave from the service. I'll never forget the date: February 20, 1962, the day that John Glenn orbited in space. At that time, I think my sister-in-law probably weighed more than 200 pounds. The whole family was coming for dinner that evening and my sister-in-law and I had baked a wonderful chocolate cake, from a new recipe. Bode walked in, gave one look at his sister-in-law, and asked, "How the Hell much do you weigh?" She answered, I thought with great aplomb, "142." It was one of the few times I saw Bode speechless. [I figure that she weighed 242 and just cut off 100 pounds.] She and my brother just got up and left and only stayed a couple more days when they had said they were going to stay 10 days.
Bode's wife and my mother and I all jumped on him for his tactless remark but he never "got" why it was wrong to ask hurtful questions.
I was always one with a quick comeback, having learned to dish it out at an early age, so, I must admit, his criticisms of me were few and far between but once at a large family gathering, he asked the totally inappropriate question of why I didn't have any children and I answered, "Well, I see how poorly you have done in rearing yours, and since you know everything, I just know I couldn't do any better!" The gasps and intakes of breath from the people present were reward enough for me.
Chocolate Easter bunnies--which to choose--hollow or solid chocolate? Both have their negative points: the hollow chocolate, when broken turns into little fragments of chocolate shrapnel; the solid ones, too difficult to bite.
Each year I bite the ears from the chocolate Easter bunnies I give to my brother and husband. I was amused to learn several years ago that the character "Sally" in the comic strip "Sally Forth" also bites off the ears of her daughter Hilary's Easter bunny. Hilary schemes to find the bunny before her mother chomps the ears. Only once, on March 23, 2008, was Hilary able to get to the bunny before Sally. The annual competition since has Sally continuing to bite the ears.
This year, I was able to purchase a bunny with really large ears! His name is "Biggy Ears" and he's "EARresistable" according to the package. Should I just nibble a bit from the top or bite down to the head? Hmm? I'm looking at that chocolate rabbit now and he's beckoning "Sue---ooooooh", "Sue----ooooooh"; I don't know how long I can resist! Resist, Hell! See the "before and after" pictures!
There must be a deep psychological compulsion which makes "Sally" and me do this, but I just think it's fun!
My mother liked "The Art Linkletter Show" and it was always on as we came home from school. One of Art's regular guests was Caroline Leonetti, who later married the extraordinarily wealthy Howard Ahmanson, and Art told how he had introduced her to Howard.
Caroline was a fashion expert and I laugh to realize that she continues to influence me today. When I see fashion "make-overs" on television, I think of Caroline. Art would choose audience members to be analyzed by Caroline and then they were sent out to be "made-over". My mother commented that amazingly, all the women returned looking like Caroline!
Caroline was always attired in Chanel-type (with her money, they were probably REAL Chanels) jacket and skirt, with the skirt just at the knee, with a perfectly coiffed, lacquered beehive hairdo. I learned about charmeuse, crepe, voile, organza, peau de soie and other exotic fabrics as well as hearing about famous designers.
Caroline's certitude was compelling. Every time I see a heavy person wearing horizontal stripes, my mind returns to hearing Caroline rail against that fashion faux pas. I also learned that short people should wear one solid color and not different colored separates because it "cut them off"; one solid color gives the illusion of height; choose black or other dark colors to give slimming effect; A-line dresses for ones with thigh problems; very seldom should one wear white shoes (preferably beige) but NEVER white shoes after Labor Day; purse and shoes should match; if one is wearing a full-length gown, the shoes MUST match the dress. [My ONLY pair of white shoes--the peau de soie ones--for my wedding day! I won't even wear white tennis shoes.]
I have always loved plaid, but I would never wear plaid because of Caroline's admonition about plaid making one look "bigger". I finally bought a Pendleton jacket--because I'd always wanted a Pendleton--but it's a conservative Black Watch plaid, but I wear it only a couple of times a year, always recalling Caroline's warning.
Several years ago my husband and I attended a summer wedding which was held outdoors. Gerald looked very well turned-out. I wore a navy blue frock trimmed in white, a white hat trimmed in navy blue, navy blue hose, navy blue shoes with matching Coach bag, and white GLOVES! (The hat and gloves make sense as I'm allergic to the sun.) As we were getting ready to leave, I asked my brother, which I always do, to inspect me and he asked, "Channeling Jackie Kennedy?" I said, "Ah, yes, but Caroline Leonetti would be so proud of me!" Gerald said, "I'm just the guy taking Jackie Kennedy to Paris." [When President Kennedy and Mrs. Kennedy went to France, she received a great deal of attention and when the President got up to make a speech, he introduced himself as "The man who brought Jackie Kennedy to Paris."]
1. LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2. LAW OF GRAVITY - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. LAW OF PROBABILITY - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. LAW OF RANDOM NUMBERS - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. 5. LAW OF THE ALIBI- If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 6. LAW OF VARIATION - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). 7. LAW OF THE BATH - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. 8. LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone with whom you don't want to be seen. 9. LAW OF THE RESULT - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 10. LAW OF COFFEE - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 11. LAW OF PHYSICAL SURFACES - The chance of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, is directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. 12. LAW OF COMMERCIAL MARKETING STRATEGY - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. 13. LAW OF DOCTORS - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
This morning, after I had finished bathing, I opened the medicine cabinet to get out the dental floss and threader. In the cabinet, in the glass where I store the floss and threaders, I saw five threaders with the dental floss already threaded. As I am constantly forgetting my glasses and struggle to place the dental floss through the threader, I was touched by such a wonderfully kind act.
When I went downstairs I began singing:
"Throw me a kiss from across the way, Call me at 6 on the dot, A line a day when you're far away, Little things mean a lot."
Of course, Gerald is used to this kind of communication, but was curious to what it pertained. I told him how much I appreciate all the little things he does for me. He asked, "What did I do?" When I told him about the dental floss, he said, "Oh, that'll keep you from yelling at me to get your glasses!"
I remember an episode of "Kate and Allie" that Allie had been swept off her feet by her ex-husband, who was a wealthy doctor and she was considering reconciling with him although he had been a selfish lout when they were married. She had been with the ex-husband for a romantic, weekend getaway, and when she returned home, she was ready to tell her boyfriend Bob that she was going to reconcile with her ex, and she found out that while she'd been away, Bob had changed the oil and detailed her car. She realized that her ex was still the selfish, manipulative person and she decided to stay with Bob.
Once, somebody asked me the secret of a successful marriage and I answered, "He puts gasoline in the car, changes the oil and I never have to worry about a thing!"
Once I was cooking some corn and stuck my fork in the boiling water to see if the corn were ready. I missed sticking the corn and my hand went into the boiling water. A friend of mine, who is a Vietnam veteran, came into the house, just as I was screaming, and asked me if I had some plain flour. I showed him where I kept the bag of flour and he held the bag open and he stuck my hand in it. He said to keep my hand in the flour for 10 minutes, which I did. He said that when he was in Vietnam, there was a guy who was on fire and in their panic, the guys threw a bag of flour all over him to put out the fire. He said that the flour not only put out the fire, but the guy never even had a blister!
I kept my hand in the bag of flour for 10 minutes, and when I pulled it out, I didn't have a red mark, or a blister and felt absolutely no pain. Now, I keep a bag of flour in the refrigerator and every time I burn myself, I use the flour and never once have I ever had a red spot, a burn or a blister!
A NO NO! [I use cold flour simply because it feels better than room-temperature flour. Another tip: do not run cold water on a burn first.]
Today I called my brother and stated, "When it's time for me to quit driving, please tell me." Earlier, I was in the parking lot at Kroger and I like to park next to the cart corral because I can park very close to the corral which leaves a large space between my car and the one next to me; also, I hate to be far away when it's time to return the cart because my husband is adamant about returning carts!
As I was ready to open my car door, two elderly women were getting into a large car beside me. I waited for them to move and as their car was half-way out of the parking space, I started to open my car door. The car beside me started to pull back in and I closed my door. As the driver pulled out again, she touched the bumper of my car with her car, and it was enough to jar my car. I jumped out of my car and the woman had her car stopped. I looked at my bumper and it had a scuff-mark on it. I went to the car and the woman was crying and she asked, "Are you going to call the police?" I said that I was NOT because I thought my husband could buff the mark. She said she would pay for any damage and was getting into her purse, with her hands trembling. I refused the offer.
I then asked her if she wanted me to back her car out. When I just told my husband about it he laughed uproariously because, I will admit, I am the WORST backer in the world!
Was it my place to tell her she should not be driving? I don't think so, BUT I do want to be told when I should quit driving.
Stewardesses - is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
I took an elderly friend of mine to a local doctor's office and Fox "News" was playing in the waiting room. When I asked to have the channel changed, the woman at the desk asked why and I told her that it was "offensive"; she answered that it was just "news"; I told her that it was "propaganda"; she said that she couldn't change it. I asked, "Then you're telling me that you have no way to use the remote control?" She looked stunned. I said, "That's what CAN'T means--that you're unable to do it--perhaps you meant to say WON'T!" She did not respond. I asked, haughtily, "To whom do I need to speak to have this offensive noise removed?" She said, whimpering, "Doctor wants it on." I said, "Tell DOCTOR that I want it OFF and does DOCTOR have a name?" [a pet peeve: personnel referring to THE doctor as DOCTOR instead of saying "THE doctor" or "Doctor X] She said she couldn't bother him. I said, "I wonder how DOCTOR is watching television when he's with patients." She didn't respond. I asked, "Then you are not going to change that channel?" She shook her head. I said, "Then I shall wait in my automobile and you can telephone me when he's ready to leave because I SHAN'T stay and listen to that propaganda!" When I went back in, I told the woman at the desk, "He needs his files because we're changing doctors."
A NO NO! 
