UNIVERSAL LAWS

1. LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. LAW OF GRAVITY - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. LAW OF PROBABILITY - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. LAW OF RANDOM NUMBERS - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. LAW OF THE ALIBI- If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. LAW OF VARIATION - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. LAW OF THE BATH - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone with whom you don't want to be seen.
9. LAW OF THE RESULT - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. LAW OF COFFEE - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
11. LAW OF PHYSICAL SURFACES - The chance of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, is directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
12. LAW OF COMMERCIAL MARKETING STRATEGY - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
13. LAW OF DOCTORS - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.