OBSERVATIONS ON GROWING OLDER

Your kids are becoming you and you don't like them but your grandchildren are perfect!

Going out is good -
Coming home is better!

When people say you look "Great", they add: "for your age!"

When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything: movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.

You forget names but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!

The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

You realize you're never going to be really good at anything new, especially golf.

Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.

The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.

Your spouse sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he or she does in bed. It's called their "pre-sleep".

You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married.
Now, "I hope they STAY married!"

You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.

When GOOGLE, ipod, email, and Facebook were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

You tend to use more 4 letter words like "what?" and "when?".

Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

Your husband/wife has a night out with the guys or gals but is home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.

You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?

What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

Everybody whispers.

Now that your spouse has retired you'd give anything if he/she would find a job!

You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet, 2 of which you will never wear.

It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.