WE'RE ALL SMART IN DIFFERENT WAYS

Everyone who knows me agrees that I have the best husband in the world, but there is ONE problem: he can't stand for me to be DUMB. It doesn't bother me if I'm dumb about some things. My mother always said, "We're all smart in different ways." (or was it "We're all dumb in different ways."?)

For example, he corrects me every time I ask him to "tape" something on television. (He KNOWS what I mean!) He will reply, "You mean record?" When I ask him to "print" something, he will ask "You mean copy?" (HE KNOWS what I mean!)

What is it with this exactitude?

The horn on my car sounds like a dying frog CROAKING. The horn must have been this way since the accident when the hood of my car flew up and hit my windshield but I didn't notice the "croaking" until several days after the car had been repaired. When we have the chance, we're going to take it to be repaired, but in the meantime, it doesn't bother me since I don't use my horn very much.

Yesterday, I was sitting in the parking lot of the bank. I had taken the key from the ignition, ready to alight from the car. Suddenly the horn started croaking; I saw a red light flashing on my dash and the oil light came on; I put the key back in the ignition and turned on the car, but the "croaking" continued.

I called Gerald on my cell phone. Gerald said, quietly, "Get out of the car." I thought, "Oh, Hell, the car's going to explode." I got out of the car and Gerald said, "Put the key in the door and turn it." I did that. The noise stopped. It was only THEN that I realized that I must have turned on the car alarm system when I cradled the keys in my hand and accidentally pressed the red button! If I had been outside the car, I would have known what was happening, because I would have seen the lights flashing and if the horn had had its usual sound, I would have known that the alarm system had been activated, because it's happened numerous times.

Couldn't Gerald have just said, "Turn off the car alarm" instead of THAT routine?

Then I was furious with myself! I thought, "Here I am, this fiercely independent woman--a feminist--for crying out loud, and I immediately acted like a poor little damsel in distress!"