CRABBY

Once again, at a restaurant, I have had pollack foisted upon me under the claim that it was crab.  When I called it to the attention of the waiter, he said that it was indeed crab.  I insisted that it was pollock and told him, in a smart aleck way, to show me the package.   I told him that I would be leaving and to please bring my bill.  When I received the bill, he had the crab entree figured in the total.  I said, "I have not touched this;  I shall not eat this, and I will not pay for it;  please summon the manager."

When the manager arrived, I told her that I was unhappy with the entree and that I would not pay for it as I had not touched it but had indeed informed the waiter that it was not crab which was advertised on the menu.  She offered to bring another entree and I told her that I was leaving.  When I told my tale of woe  to my brother, he said, "Oh, you were just being your usual CRABBY self!"  I said, "This isn't the first time!" 

Years ago, we took my mother to a new restaurant for Mother's Day. The restaurant was in an historic Victorian house and I had heard that the food was marvelous and that we could tour the house.

The decor was lovely and there was a pianist playing Gershwin. I was delighted and squealed, "How nice is this--dinner music." . When we received our menus I was delighted to see the extensive selections. On the appetizer section I noticed "crabmeat cocktail" listed and it was just $7.95 and the shrimp cocktail was only $5.95. I said, "Wow, I've never had crab cocktail before;  only shrimp; I'm going to get the crab meat because crab is my favorite." [Although it was listed on the menu as "crabmeat",  I was in an appreciative mood, and I did not quibble nor correct.]

Gerald placed our orders and Mother said, "I can't believe we have to order a la carte!" but I said, "But, Mother, this is a NICE place!"

When our appetizers arrived, I immediately noticed that my "crabmeat" was pollock and NOT crab meat. I called for the waiter and I told him very quietly that I had ordered crab and not pollock. He insisted that it was crab and I said, "Please send the Manager to see me." When the Manager came, I told him that I had ordered crab and he said, "That's what you got." I said, "No, what I HAVE is pollock." I touched it with my cocktail fork and said, "You can see that it's dyed to resemble crab."

When he didn't offer to do anything; I said, "Please have the waiter bring our bill for the drinks and we'll be going." The Manager said, "You'll have to pay for the three appetizers too." I said, "Oh, no, I won't, because we haven't touched them and tomorrow I'm going to call the Better Business Bureau to report this fiasco." The Manager said, "You don't have to act like that!" My mother spoke and said, "Yes she does!"

As I was leaving, I said, "Oh, and by the way, crab meat is TWO words!"