STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS AT THE RAYPOLE RESIDENCE:
Discussing which movies to get at Red Box:
SUE: "How about the new Coen Brothers movie?"
GERALD: "What's the name?"
SUE: "Something Llewyn Davis; you know we saw it on the promo on American Hustle."
LES: "PREVIEW, not promo! It's Inside Llewyn Davis."
SUE: "The music actually sounds like it could have come from the folk era."
LES: "T-Bone Burnett; he did the music for Brother, Where Art Thou? also."
SUE: "Yeah, he does the music from Nashville-- he did the music from that other movie--starring--wasn't Kurt Russell, who was it?"
GERALD: "Jeff Bridges."
SUE: "Yeah, he won the Oscar; uh, what movie was that?"
LES: "It was so great we can't remember it!"
SUE, GERALD and LES: "To IMDB!"
My cousin would give bunnies and chicks as Easter gifts for his kids. After the animals were abused awhile by the brats--and the parents learned that the animals actually required care--the animals would be given to us as we lived in the country.
I would name all of them. I named one chick Jonathan because we wanted him to become big and I named him after the biggest boy in my class. Jonathan grew into a magnificent, white Leghorn rooster. Jonathan literally "ruled the roost" and he kept the hens in obedience and he also made our family obeisant.
As we had an outdoor toilet, Jonathan would try to flog anyone who dared go to the toilet. There would be Jonathan--with one wing down on the ground--racing after people to flog them! Nobody was safe--except for Les, my younger brother--who was three and four years old at the time. Les was the only one that Jonathan did not try to attack! There would be Les, wearing his little engineer boots, which brother Neil had brought to him, accompanying people to the toilet to protect them from Jonathan! Les would also accompany Mother to gather eggs. I remember Jonathan chasing my brother who was "fleet of foot" across the field and when my brother leapt onto a big wooden fence post, Jonathan kept flogging the post!
It was always a mystery why Jonathan would not attack Les; even though Les was only three and four years old at the time, he still vividly remembers Jonathan. I said, "Maybe it's because you and Jonathan were the same size!"
My brother Bode, his wife and baby daughter were visiting and my niece was about a year old and she was sitting outside in her stroller near the well frame, and suddenly, Jonathan flogged the stroller! My brother Bode ran out the back door with a shotgun and the door was still flung open; somehow Jonathan flew inside the house and everyone in the house was trying to escape Jonathan and get him back outside. Les had to lead him outside and Bode shot him.
Mother cooked Jonathan and he was, as she said, "tougher than whitleather".
As much as we all disliked--and feared--Jonathan, it was sad to see that majestic creature brought down. Oh, how I wish I had a picture of Jonathan; this generic picture of a Leghorn does not do him justice!
After she read my BLOG article MURMURATION, my friend Mona Lisa sent this article from The New York Times CLICK HERE to see the article which states that the phrase "cellar door" is the most euphonious phrase in the English language.
Henry James wrote: "Summer afternoon--summer afternoon--to me those have been the two most beautiful words in the English language."
I think that most people would say that "I love you" is the most euphonious phrase in our language.
Mona Lisa included this: "I know you dislike Woody Allen, but you MUST use his quote." The quote: "The best words in the English language are not 'I love you', but 'It's benign'!"
One of my favorite songs from childhood was Playmate (listen here) which includes the line "slide down my cellar door". See the cellar door which is reminiscent of my childhood. It NEVER looked or sounded "beautiful" to me.
MASTERLY: "performed or performing in a very skillful and accomplished way."
MASTERFUL: "powerful and able to control others."
Later, in talking with my brother about the conversation, he asked, "WHEN will you learn that people don't care? You're the only one who CARES!" I answered, "She's the one who quizzed me about my use; I wasn't correcting her; you don't hesitate to correct me!"
He laughed and said, "Well, we SO enjoy correcting YOU!" He told me I was an "old fogey" when it came to language and that it should not surprise him as I'm also "such a Francophile".
A woman used "enthused" recently in a public forum, and it was jarring to my ears. It ranks with "contacted", "impacted", "invite", and other back-formation words which are in common usage, but nevertheless, are very irritating. Do people know that "finalize" was not an acceptable word until President Eisenhower used it so often that it was added to the dictionary?
A person who works at a newspaper seemed irritated when I mentioned that a verb he'd used needed a "helper" and he actually asked why, and although I explained, I wondered why a "professional" writer did not know the difference between transitive and intransitive verbs. In a passive-aggressive way, by attempting what he obviously thought was a humorous rejoinder--but it only came off as snotty--he told me that I was "welcome to volunteer" at the newspaper to make corrections. I told him my salary demand for the service and said that if that were too much, I would just continue sending his gaffes to SPELL (The Society For The Preservation Of The English Language And Literature).
I'm debating: do I like him enough to give him a gift subscription to the organization's newsletter?
My friend Patty sent the accompanying video because she knows that I would be one to break out in song.
I've written before about the predilictions of my family, one of which is to answer questions with song lyrics.
Around our third date, Gerald came to pick me up and he politely asked my mother, "How are you, Mrs. Shirkey?" and my mother replied, a la Doris Day: "Fine and dandy...". As we were leaving, Gerald turned to me and said, in what I gauged to be a critical tone, "About your family." I didn't give him a chance to elaborate but said, defensively, "What about my family?" He said, "It's like being in a Hollywood musical--you guys sing for no apparent reason!"
Although I burst out singing "for no apparent reason", I am very different from the couple in the video because I lack their talent and I would never willingly appear on camera!
One time I was responsible for calling people to remind them about a meeting. I told them that the meeting would be at Our Place at 5:00 PM. Although I meant Our Place Restaurant; I failed to say "restaurant" and 6 people showed up at OUR HOUSE.
Another time, I was supposed to meet someone at "the Chinese Restaurant" in Xenia; of course, I went to the wrong one as there were two Chinese restaurants!
A friend was supposed to meet a person at a local bank for a financial transaction regarding a Club to which we belonged. She went to the bank on time for her appointment and waited for the other person to arrive. After a testy cell phone telephone exchange, she learned that the person was at the OTHER bank in town. The other person had no reason to be testy as she had not told WHICH bank location where she would be and my friend only knew about the one bank.
I told her that she did not know the situations of people and that their cars might be the only assets they have and that perhaps friends and relatives with good cars might be kind enough to take them as they probably cannot afford public transportation. I also told her that I could not imagine the degree of humiliation they felt having to go to a Food Pantry.
I told her that I had taken my nephew (who has no vehicle) to the Food Pantry to get groceries and I was driving my brand-new car; I also said that his aunt and uncle also took him to the Food Pantry in their late-model vehicles. We do this because he cannot afford the cost of transportation. Would she be judging him?
I think it's an Urban Myth about people in fancy cars at the Food Pantry; the last time I was there, I saw a large amount of people waiting for public transportation and a number of people getting into old cars. I saw no Cadillacs or Mercedes which have insignias I recognize. In fact, I gave rides to two guys who were acquaintances of my nephew and all three told me that they had to wait a long time for transportation.
A con-man and a senior citizen were sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The con man thought that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on her easily.
The con man asked if the senior would like to play a fun game.
The senior was tired and just wanted to take a nap, so she politely declined and tried to catch a few winks.
The con man persisted, and said that the game would be a lot of fun and said, "Ill ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
That piqued the senior's interest and, to keep the con man quiet, she agreed to play the game.
The con man asked the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"
The senior didn't say a word, but reached into her purse, pulled out a five-dollar bill, and handed it to the con man.
Then it was the senior's turn. She asked the con man, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The senior dozed off.
The con man used his laptop to search all references he could find on the internet.
He hurriedly sent e-mails to all the smart friends he knew; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gave up.
He woke the senior and handed her $500.00. The senior pocketed the $500.00 and went right back to sleep.
The con man was going nuts not knowing the answer. He woke up the senior and asked, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The senior reached into her purse, hands the con man $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
You can't con a con!
When I first posted THE THREE OLDEST LIES IN THE WORLD (CLICK HERE) I had a total of 47 additional lies which I had collected during my work life. Here are 5 more:
51. I'LL PENCIL YOU IN MY BLACKBERRY
52. YOU'RE NOT IN THE SYSTEM
53. IT'S AT THE LAB
54. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN
55. WILL ADVISE
Nowadays when I hear off-putting and lame excuses, I tell people that I'll add their excuse to my Three Oldest Lies collection!
My friend Patty e-mailed the video named "MURMURATION" (below). It is indeed beautiful as I have also been in awe of murmurations of birds.
I wrote back that "murmur" is supposed to be the most beautiful word in the English language. I could not recall where I'd read or heard that assertion, but after Googling a number of sources, "murmur", "murmurous" and "murmuration" are included in all of the lists by "experts" who have compiled lists of the most beautiful words. (See "The 117 Most Beautiful Words In The English Language HERE). It begins with "acquiesce" and ends with "zephyr", neither of which I think are particularly beautiful.
I rather like "MELLIFLUOUS" and "INEFFIBLE".
What are YOUR most beautiful words?
As a young woman walked into a local restaurant, I noticed that she was color-coordinated with pink hair, bra, purse, and pink fur-lined boots. She and her companion were seated in a booth behind me. I asked, "Let me guess--is your favorite singer PINK?" She laughed and said "Yes!"
She was obviously eager to chat and I learned that her name is Ashley and she accompanies her husband on trips as he is a long-distance truck driver. She also likes "Hello, Kitty". When I told her that I have "Hello, Kitty" charms, she took one of my business cards and told me she would order some charms as she had a bracelet at home.
She pointed out her tattoos and a number had pink backgrounds and several of the tattoos represented family tragedies.
As we were getting ready to leave, she stood to have her picture taken and she showed us her pink telephone, pink computer case, and a pink drink cup.
When I mentioned that her husband looked like Eric Clapton, she said they didn't like "country and western music". I insisted that Clapton was definitely not a country and western singer, but she thought that Tears in Heaven is a country song, but I said that it was merely schmaltzy. When she told me that the song had been played at the funeral of a child in her family, I was glad she probably didn't know what I meant by schmaltzy.
The CARDiologists have been together as a group since January, 2013; nearly all of the members have been making cards for several years. Currently, there are nine Christian women involved, representing three different churches. They meet weekly at the Crossroads Church, and they usually spend 3-4 hours together, doing, as they say, "eating and creating"! Projects are planned for each meeting and when the projects are completed, members can work on their own special projects, including knitting and crocheting.
The theme of the group is: "HEALING HEARTS WITH CARDS". The group began making cards for the "Sunday morning post office" at the church, where each Sunday, cards were put out for the congregation to sign and the main recipients of the cards were for church members and guests and were sent to members who were ill and for bereavement. They have also provided cards for the use of the minister, sent cards to people in the military, college kids, Carriage Court residents, and made cards for The Well At Sunnyside, Christmas Gift Tree tags, The Cookie Ministry, special church events, Beth Moore Bible Studies held at CCC, and the 1,000 Gifts Study at Grace Community Church, and for the group's family and friends.
The cards are made in an assembly-line manner and there are always cards ready for use. Although the group receives a small stipend from the church for stamps for the CARE ministry Sunday cards and envelopes and tape runner adhesive, the members use a variety of methods in collecting materials such as: from card magazines and catalogs, online, Pinterest, internet freebies, and recycled cards. They also go to yard sales, library used book sales, and use nostalgic items such as buttons, lace, sheet music, and ribbons.
Several of the members of the group have had amusing incidents associated with the name CARDiologist when they would be saying they were going to a CARDiologist meeting and people thought they meant that they were going to "A" cardiologist for check-ups. Recently Marilyn was texting that she was at CARDiology and the person responded, "Oh, you're seeing a cardiologist?" Marilyn said that the next time she thinks she's going to say, "Yes, had to see FIVE of them today."
See the hilarious card Marilyn made for my husband. The caption inside reads: "Seemed like such a good idea at the time!"
In all the years Gerald worked, he never had an accident. I've never written about his accidents since he retired--only one was serious--but he's had an "oowie" at least once a week. As he has also been lectured to "Measure twice, cut once", this card is very appropriate.
A Facebook friend wrote that a companion had used a hand gesture which she had not seen used in years. The gesture: hold up your left forefinger; take your right forefinger and slide against the left forefinger.
She said that her companion meant it to show surreptitiously placing a tip.
When I was a kid, sliding your right forefinger on the top of your left forefinger meant SHAME-SHAME!
I wonder if kids still do that today.
CLICK HERE to see the BLOG article from eppylover: "Mystery Of Origin Solved: Shame-Shame".
Different cultures have different hand signals; many American hand gestures are offensive in other cultures (see the demonstrations from You Tube).
I told my friend, "Tell the teacher that it just doesn't JIBE; you need to cut out all that JIVE, or I'm going to GIBE at you!"
I gather that using "jive" in place of "jibe" is not just done by people from Fayette County. See the article from GRAMMARPHOBIA below.
Jibe, gibe, and jive
Q: I see both “jibe” and “jive” used to mean agree, as in “His testimony did not jibe/jive with what he said earlier.” As a sailor, I know “jibe” refers to changing tack while sailing downwind. “Jive,” on the other hand, refers to deceptive talk. How on earth did we get from point A to point B here?
A: We’re dealing with three similar-sounding words: “jibe,” “gibe,” and “jive.” That’s confusing enough.
To muddle things more, dictionaries recognize “jibe” and “gibe” as variant spellings of each other. And the nautical word for changing tack is spelled “jibe” in the US and “gybe” in the UK.
If you’re still with us, there are two more flies in the ointment. The verb “jibe” has a second meaning, primarily in American English: to agree.
And as you’ve noticed, “jive” is often used for “jibe” in the sense of agreement, though no authoritative dictionary considers this usage standard English.
To get to the bottom of all this, let’s begin with some definitions.
The verb “jibe,” as you say, is a nautical term that refers to changing course by shifting a fore-and-aft sail from side to side while sailing before the wind. (Remember, British dictionaries spell the word “gybe.”)
However, “jibe” has another meaning that’s not etymologically related to the nautical usage: to agree or be consistent with, as in, “Those figures don’t jibe.” The Oxford English Dictionary describes this usage as “chiefly U.S.”
The word “jive” can be either a noun or a verb, as in “Don’t give me that jive” or “Don’t jive me.” It’s a Jazz Era slang term that usually refers to deceptive or nonsensical talk, though it can also mean jazz music.
A third word that’s often confused with these, “gibe,” is both a noun and a verb referring to teasing, taunting, or caustic remarks, as in “Ignore his rude gibes” or “He tends to gibe when he’s annoyed.”
These three words cover a lot of etymological history, so let’s take a look at their origins. (We’ll discuss them in order of seniority, saving “jive” for last.)
The oldest is the verb “gibe,” first recorded in the mid-16th century. The OED says to “gibe” is “to speak sneeringly; to utter taunts; to jeer, flout, scoff.”
As we’ve said, the nautical “jibe” is not related to the agreeable “jibe,” which first showed up in American English in the early 1800s, meaning “to chime in (with); to be in harmony or accord; to agree,” to quote the OED.
This leaves us with “jive,” a term of unknown origin that showed up—both noun and verb— in American slang in the Roaring Twenties. It has close associations with jazz, Harlem, and black American English.
The OED defines the verb as meaning “to mislead, to deceive, to ‘kid’; to taunt or sneer at.” To “talk jive,” Oxford adds, is “to talk nonsense, to act foolishly.”
And the noun “jive” is defined similarly: “talk or conversation; spec. talk that is misleading, untrue, empty, or pretentious; hence, anything false, worthless, or unpleasant.”
My Red Hat Ladies group went to a local restaurant for our monthly meeting. I had been to the restaurant twice and was disappointed both times; I would not have gone again except that it was our meeting. The first time I went the food and service were unsatisfactory; the second time I went simply because I had a gift card. On that occasion the owner stopped to chat and asked if we had any suggestions and I mentioned that an appetizer sampler would be a good addition to the menu.
During the recent luncheon, the owner of the restaurant came to chat with our group and asked for comments and suggestions. I said that I was glad to see the appetizer sampler and he replied, "Yes, I recall you asked for that." I doubt if he did remember it being my suggestion, but I applaud his nimble attribution! This time I suggested that there be a "cup of soup and a HALF of a Panini sandwich for one price" as two of the ladies were sharing a Panini!
Although the food and service were good this time, I won't patronize the restaurant very often because the prices are too high; we can spend money on gasoline to go to Olive Garden and have more--and better food--for a lesser price and I always have coupons for there!
Our waitress' name was Raven, and I kept making awful puns: "Will you quoth the specials again?"; "A Poe-Boy sandwich would be nice"; "I'm pondering weak and weary over the menu," and I persisted until the groaning drowned me out! She said, "At least you didn't mention Raven-Symone!" I told her that I'd sold a number of charms with the name "Raven" but she said she'd never met anyone with her name.
When the owner was chatting with us, he complimented the waitress and I asked, "So you'll keep her here FOR EVERMORE?" I swear that was going to be my final pun but one of my luncheon mates thought she was correcting me and said, "It was NEVERMORE, not FOR EVERMORE!" I said, "But earlier in the poem he wrote FOR EVERMORE!"
What could be better than listening to CHRISTOPHER WALKEN recite The Raven?
I did not attack the person but merely responded with the definition of "benighted". I was attacked left and right (in reality, I think most of the people from this site are from the RIGHT!) and was accused by one of using "$3.00 words".
When I confronted a man about posting lies about another person, he responded that he'd heard the stuff from other people. I responded that he should not use second-hand information and used a quote from Churchill: "They say so is half a lie," and he answered that Churchill meant the use of "heresay". When I responded with, "Did you mean HEARSAY or HERESY?", I was met with ad hominem comments! Yes, I did know that the man meant "HEARSAY" rather than his misspelled "HERESAY", but I didn't appreciate his implying that I did not know the meaning of the quote!
OK, I was petty! Benighted people bring out the worst in me!
be·night·ed
adjective
1. in a state of pitiful or contemptible intellectual or moral ignorance, typically owing to a lack of opportunity.
"they saw themselves as bringers of culture to poor benighted peoples"
A daughter of a friend of mine told me that she was booted off a Facebook chat site because she'd posted too many pictures of her beloved animals. She started her own site and she asked me to join, which I did. She now has more than 2,000 members.
When I saw her recently she asked why I hadn't posted anything, and I answered that I hadn't really looked at it after becoming a member.
That afternoon, I looked at the site, and when a person wondered why New York City and other cities could have community gardens, and we don't, I was able to post pertinent information about the defunct local Common Grounds Community Gardens and how it could be resurrected. There were good back-and-forth postings to which I was able to participate. Later I was able to supply information about another topic and provide a resource.
When another thread contained false information about a person whom I know, I didn't hesitate to correct it. A barrage of attacks on me followed. Within a couple of hours, after my correcting the lies, my in-box had more than 100 replies. For a day, I answered all of the ignorant, insulting, nonsensical ad hominem remarks, but I knew from past experience there is no way to communicate with misinformed people who cannot--either read--or comprehend, the English language. In answering, I needed to keep referring back to what I had ACTUALLY written, rather than to what their pre-conceived notions were! One reprehensible woman, who claims to be a nurse, wrote, "Sue you must be on CRACK!"
This foray into a "chat-room" culminated with the Editor of the local newspaper calling me because one of the participants had called him and falsely claimed that I had named him in my postings.
No good deed goes unpunished. I just wanted to share knowledge, resources, and information. I already knew that there are a great number of benighted people in my county and I was never foolish enough to think that I could change people, but it was truly disheartening that my friend's daughter, the Administrator of the site, allows people to post lies and misinformation.
I am no longer a member of the site.
In a recent Facebook thread I complained about men not removing their hats at funerals, etc. (see my BLOG article DECORUM). A former classmate and current Facebook friend replied:
"I'm frequently surprised at the number of discourtesies that show a lack of proper upbringing but about offenders seem clueless. It seems overly negative to blame them for their ignorance when it isn't their fault, but their parents did them no favors in failing to teach them how to behave. The hat thing may be cultural (the cowboys do not remove their hats indoors and Orthodox Jewish men wouldn't remove their yarmulkes to pray) but other conventional courtesies seem to be ignored more from ignorance than deliberate rudeness. Mom wouldn't have hit for not removing my hat when I should, but she would have given me THE LOOK that affected me more than a slap would have. Perhaps more of we older people should start giving the younger people THE LOOK when they inadvertently offend. We may be part of that village that is needed to raise a child."
I responded that, sadly, it was not just young men who were offenders as several of the men were wearing caps proclaiming their military service and were obviously from our generation.
I also told him that my mother also gave THE LOOK! I don't know if mothers nowadays give THE LOOK!
One of my nieces lived with us for five years. For some strange reason her father--my brother--had always thought that my husband was henpecked; he even called him "Henry Henpecked". Gerald always took the razzing with great aplomb because:
NUMBER ONE: he is a man with self awareness who knew that he was not henpecked.
NUMBER TWO: family harmony was very important to him. (have I mentioned before that the man has class?)
Once, when my brother and his wife were visiting our home, he said something to Gerald, addressing him as "Henry" and my niece said, "Boy, Dad, you'd never say that if you lived with them; all Uncle G has to do is give her THE LOOK and she shuts up right away!"
My brother rushed to Gerald, knelt and exclaimed, "Please, PLEASE, show me THE LOOK; I've been wanting to shut her up for years!"
I'm fully aware that some people cannot afford baby-sitters, but I also believe that the bride and groom could offer child care or that they could arrange for someone to volunteer. I have actually volunteered to baby-sit at two weddings.
When children becomes disruptive the parents should immediately take them from the room. All funeral homes and churches have other rooms which can be used.
At the last funeral I attended there were eight toddlers and three babies present. During the ceremony the toddlers scampered about unattended and the babies cried at different times during the funeral. I remarked to my husband that if I owned a funeral home or wedding chapel, I would provide baby-sitting services.
I know that some people disagree with me about the appropriateness of exposing children to funerals: the practice of bodies in caskets for "viewing" is bizarre to me and I think it's a sight that children should not see. Weeping and other behavior should not be seen/heard by children, because they are too young to comprehend emotion and grief. One woman had to be helped away from the casket, supported by a person on each side as she was weeping uncontrollably. My brother recently told me how creepy it was that he, at four years of age, was lifted up to view our grandmother in her casket. My brothers and I are adamant about closed caskets.
I do not like country and western music, but since a former friend does, I'm using She Thinks I Still Care as the hook for this article!
I am doubled over with laughter while reading her latest vituperative comment about one of my BLOG articles. I could delete her comments, but I shan't; I could prevent her comments being posted but that would take away my being able to laugh at her pitiable palaver.
I "defriended" her on Facebook and discontinued the direct sending of my BLOG to her inbox. To read my articles, she must put forth an effort to go online to find them. Unlike her, I won't engage in any personal attacks. I have no interest in her comings and goings and her self-aggrandizing, whiny "please-feel-sorry-for-me" Facebook postings.
I'm embarrassed to quote Dr. Phil, but this quote is very a propos: "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior." I have seen her react this same way numerous times. She is a creature of habit: she cannot "let go"! I can let go, and have.
I have no respect for her but I am the kind of person who would never betray a confidence and I cling to that misplaced loyalty because I gave my word long ago that I would never divulge secrets and I am a woman of my word.
She obviously needs professional therapy--rather than Facebook--to deal with her problems.
Recently, during the visitation at a funeral I attended, I counted 22 men who did not remove their caps. One had his cap turned almost sideways; another had a ponytail protruding from the hole in the back, while another man was wearing a "doo-rag". It was not limited to young men, as several were wearing caps which showed their military service.
Are you thinking that it was equally bad manners for me to be counting hats at a funeral? I usually would agree, but I felt justified, after having attended a funeral less than a week previously, where I had been stunned by the number of men who did not remove their caps, even when prayer was given.
When I'd just about given up hope to see a civilized person, a man approached the casket and removed his cap. He held his cap in hand as he walked away. As he came near to me, I beckoned for him and when he leaned over, I said, "Thank you for removing your hat." He answered, "That was the way I was brought up; I would have been knocked off the chair if I didn't!"
He was the ONLY one who removed his cap. We thanked him for his service to his country; his cap showed he'd served with the 1st Cavalry in Vietnam.
Honestly, I was wondering what my problem is because people on Facebook attack me when I post what I consider reasoned and factual information.
I used the word zeitgeist in a thread and another person wrote: "Maybe if you didn't use words like zeitgeist people wouldn't hate you."
Well, I guess the problem IS with ME, dear Brutus, and NOT in the stars, BUT I never seem to have ANY problems with comments I write to out-of-county Facebook friends!
An elderly woman I met recently (and unbelievably, spent six hours with her) has probably been spewing misinformation for a long time and gotten away with not being challenged because of her age! Obviously, in her mind, if she doesn't know something, then it is non-existent.
She has a wonderfully retentive memory about what she wants to believe, but a great deal of it is erroneous, based on prejudice, and not fact.
We were discussing Presidents and she was shocked when I said that I detested Jefferson. She exclaimed, "But he was a genius." I said, "I don't deny that, but there have been numerous geniuses who weren't good people." She said that she thought an intelligent person (said with a tinge of snarkiness in her voice) such as I, would admire him. I ignored her snarkiness and I said, "Oh, it's that pesky little thing about being a slave-holder and a rapist!" She said, "That's not true." After we argued about DNA testing she said, "Well, she went to Paris with him willingly." I screaked, "Willingly, how could anything be willingly with a SLAVE?" She said, "That's just the way it was then." I said, "That doesn't make it right or moral; besides, that's a generalization; it was NOT that way with John Adams." She said, "He was in the North; they didn't have slaves." I said, "OMG, yes there WAS slavery in the North and it was before, during, and after the Revolution!" She kept denying it and I said, "Look up 1780 in Pennsylvania and you'll learn that I'm correct." She said, "You seem very sure of yourself." I answered, "Yes, I'm willing to bet $100 that I'm right about anything I've said!"
I gave my thumbnail opinions of all Presidents. OK, yes, I admit I was showing off rattling off the names of the Presidents IN ORDER and using their MIDDLE names! I told her that Harding's middle name--GAMALIEL--is my favorite!
In the midst of defending Herbert Hoover, she said that he "founded Stanford". I said, "Oh, no, it was founded by Leland Stanford in memory of his son and the real name of the university is The Leland Stanford Junior University!" She said she'd never heard of Leland Stanford. I said, "Oh my goodness, he was a railroad tycoon who became the Governor of California!"
She had to know that she was wrong with her assertion that Hoover had founded Stanford because she backpedaled and said, "Well, I know Hoover WENT there and his father died when he was a baby and his mother scrimped and saved so he could go to college."
I said, "Well, Herbert CLARK Hoover DID attend Stanford and he claimed to be its first graduate, but his mother did NOT scrimp and save because she died several years after his father and Hoover was reared by uncles who sent him to that NEW college!"
She said, "Well, you MUST be a Hoover fan to know so much."
I said, "Heavens NO! Just the opposite; but one must always know the enemy!"
Assumptions! Because of my love for Mr. Lincoln and my detestation for the likes of the "Democrats" Jackson and Buchanan, she assumed I was a Republican! I told her I would have been a Republican back then! We had a disagreement because she thought Mr. Lincoln started the Republican Party. When I explained that John C. Fremont was the FIRST Republican Presidential candidate she said she'd never heard of him. I asked, with exaggerated incredulity, "The Pathfinder?"
After that exchange, she realized I am a Democrat and I knew she was a bigot!
We then had a disagreement about FDR and his Vice Presidents. I told her that he had three: John Nance Garner, Henry Wallace, and Harry Truman and she insisted he had 4. I said that FDR kicked out Garner in favor of Wallace and also kicked out Wallace in favor of Truman and she said, "Oh that Wallace was a Communist." I laughed and said, "WORSE than that; Wallace had been a Republican before becoming a Democrat in 1936." That humor escaped her.
I asked her who was the first President she voted for and she answered, "Thomas Dewey." I said, "EWWWWW; did you ever hear that Alice Roosevelt Longworth described him as the little man on top of the wedding cake?" She said, "She was nasty." I said, "Oh, yes, I love TR's daughter; one of my favorite quotes is from her: If you don't have anything nice to say, come over and sit next to me!; I think she was the last humorous Republican!" I told her that the best thing Dewey ever did was to get Eisenhower to run against that horrible Robert Taft. She said, "But he was from Ohio." I said, "That is a shame we have to live with in Ohio!"
She made snide remarks about all the other Democrats who served after after Roosevelt and I corrected all her falsehoods.
As much as I loved parrying with the old bigot, our conversation had to end when she began babbling about "that half-nigger Muslim." I got up, thanked my host and left. My host walked me to the door and apologized and I told him that it is disheartening to know that there are actually people like that! I said that all we could hope for is to outlive ignorance!
WHY do I waste my time with people like this? I know that I am not going to change them or their ideas.
My brother says I have taken on the role of "The Lone Voice In The Wilderness"!
My husband laughed in recognition when I showed this cartoon to him.
My husband is notoriously bad about taking messages. My family and friends know this and tell him that they will CALL BACK rather than leaving a message for him to deliver.
One time he left a message on the dining room table which I did not see for a week because I did not go into the dining room for a week. When I asked him about it, he said, "Well, I think it was a message from one of your charm customers and that's where you put the charms."
Here is an exchange from last night:
He had been tinkering with the water heater all day and had gone to Home Depot for parts and he was taking a break as we were eating dinner and watching Jeopardy!; during a commercial he turned to me and asked, "How important is hot water?"
WTH?
Being a smart aleck, I answered, "Well, if I don't have to help deliver a baby here, we should be OK for a couple of hours."
How important is hot water?
I LOVE MY HUSBAND, BUT.......
My friend Patty and I enjoy strange obituaries. It is interesting to see the number of people whose obituaries show that they are "survived by" ANIMALS: in today's posting in our local paper:
"She enjoyed her beloved shih-tzus, Miracle, better known as "Poopie-head", and Brutus." This part was before any relatives were listed!
Here is a copy of my all-time favorite obituary which was published in The Columbus Dispatch. Can you imagine everybody listed in the obituary having a nickname?
CLICK HERE to see Funny Obituaries.
Nasty perpetrators watched as a fellow male supervisor took a swig from a can of soda he'd left on his desk; one of the guys had sneaked and PEED in the can. LESSON LEARNED: Except at my home, I never take a drink from a container I've left unattended. I am always giving advice to women who go to bars: never leave your drink unattended!
I answered my phone at my desk on the manufacturing floor and could not hear a thing. When I looked at the receiver it was full of grease! LESSON LEARNED: to this day, whenever I answer a phone--even at my house--I look at the phone before putting it up to my ear!
Although we had chairs at our stand-up desks on the manufacturing floor, I never used a chair. Another supervisor was victimized because one of his employees had sliced around the seat cushion and put water in the seat cushion; when the man sat down, he had a wet bottom. A piece of advice I always gave to new supervisors: never wear light-colored slacks because employees cannot stand their bosses looking "too clean". LESSON LEARNED: always have a change of clothing with you at work.
The saddest--and sickest--example is about a man who stored his lunch in his stand-up desk. One day, when he bit into a sandwich, it had been smeared with feces. He had boasted to his fellow supervisors about disciplinary action he had taken with an employee. When nothing could be proven about who had committed the act, he quit. LESSON LEARNED: lock your desk, don't gloat, and never think that your employees don't know your habits; realize that your fellow supervisors have big mouths, and that you have no friends, only associates.
I have never figured out WHY that I was the recipient of phony phalluses at nearly every place I worked. I worked with greatly diverse people in my life but for some reason, it must have been assumed that I had a "SCHMECKEL SYNDROME". My first "present": I was a scaler in a meat-packing plant and as a pound of bacon came to my scale, when my hand was on top, I felt a mound; when I glanced down I saw that someone on the line had crafted an amazing sculpture of a PUTZ made of bacon! At the corrugated container plant, I opened my desk drawer to see an enormous replica of a SCHLONG made from shredded corrugated material and glue. When building trucks: I opened my desk drawer to discover a masterful creation made of dum-dum which had been sent through the paint booth and HARDENED! When building aircraft: I received a SCHWANZ made of sealant! LESSON LEARNED: they were like my cats bringing a dead bird to me to admire, and realize that most men are just ornery, little boys!
Les commented: "It IS interesting that you know so many euphemisms for penis and they're all Yiddish!"
A friend sent an article: "10 Old English Words You Should Be Using" (see here).
I must admit that the only one I know of the 10 words is "MUGWUMP". I remember the term from high school American History class and the famous cartoon.
I recall that the Mugwumps were Republicans who supported Democrat Grover Cleveland rather than Republican James G. Blaine. Charles Dana coined the phrase "Mugwumps" by writing that those turncoats had their "mugs" on one side of the fence and their "wumps" on the other side of the fence!
I like the other nine words, but doubt if I'll be throwing them in to any conversations although I was UHTCEARE this very morning (it means "lying awake before dawn and worrying". I was worried about this BLOG article!
A Girl Scout Troop was set up outside Kroger and I chose three different boxes of cookies which I thought that Gerald, Les, and I would enjoy. The Scout, her mother, and I chatted amiably and I told them that I had recipes using Girl Scout cookies. The Scout asked about the recipes and I told her that my favorite recipe called for the lemon cookies to make a crust and then add cream cheese, lemon pudding, milk, and whipped cream for a delicious dessert. The girl was very cute and said, "Will you bring me some? I'll be here awhile!" I said, "I think I should bring you hot chocolate as it's rather cold."
I handed the Scout's mother a $10 bill and she said, "That will be $12.00."
I gasped and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm just going to buy one box!"
$4.00 for 6 ounces of "Savannah Smiles" which is approximately 25 little cookies is ridiculous.
Les said, "They should be called SAVANNAH FROWNS"
LEMON LUSH DESSERT
1 package Savannah Smiles Girl Scout cookies, crushed (reserve 1/4 cup)
1 stick melted margarine
1/4 cup sugar
Mix together crushed cookies, margarine, and sugar; press into a 9 X 13 inch baking dish. Bake 15-20 minutes until golden brown. Let cool.
2 small packages instant lemon pudding
3 1/2 cups milk
1 8-ounce package cream cheese
Mix together thoroughly and spread over cooled crust.
1 10-ounce container Cool Whip
Spread over pudding. Sprinkle crumbs over Cool Whip.
Chill at least 2 hours.
To see more Girl Scout Cookies recipes click here:
However, a former friend and I have the same character flaw as we are both "Right Fighters". In the past, we have gotten along quite well as we agree on politics, religion, and other important issues, but I ended a long relationship with her because I know that I'm right about a serious issue and she thinks she's right. Both of us have to be RIGHT and that's our flaw.
In our disagreement, no doubt I would have kept arguing my point--to no avail--as I considered the disagreement solely between her and me, but then I learned that she was texting mutual friends and acquaintances, trying to convince people of her side. I will NOT resort to those tactics; I won't put other people in the cross-fire of a personal argument. The other difference between us: I don't need validation from other people; it's enough for me to know I'm right. Besides, if others take her side, then they weren't my friends after all!
I "defriended" her on Facebook; removed her from my BLOG followers, and told a mutual friend that I never wanted any further contact with her. The only reason I involved the mutual friend is because that friend is the one who alerted me to the situation which had caused the disagreement!
I recognize and admit that I am a "right fighter" and know that it's an undesirable trait. I doubt if she is introspective enough to examine her behavior and would not recognize the fault in herself. Am I going to change? Probably not. Will she change? Probably not; I think she is even more intransigent than I.
At times, in the past, I have regretted my being a "right fighter", but with this incident, I have no regret in ending the relationship because the lies and ad hominem remarks are too reprehensible to be forgiven. In my entire life, during arguments, I have never resorted to petty, personal attacks, but I also would never hesitate to call out a lie.
I like lively discourse and a good exchange of ideas, but I won't be a doormat just to get along with people.
I have another friend who is also a "right fighter" and during disagreements, she becomes very loud and emotional, and continues to argue, even when presented with irrefutable facts. She will never admit to being wrong, and when "cornered", she attempts to change the subject, and throw in extraneous material which has no relevance to the dialogue! (I write "attempts" because I do not let her get away with it), but she never resorts to using nasty personal remarks, thus I accept her bull-headedness.
As everyone knows, I love Jeopardy!, but I dislike Alex Trebek. I find Trebek to be a sexist, pompous, condescending boor. It's easy to be condescending when he has the answers right in front of him!
Last week, on the College Tournament, Trebek said to a contestant, who is black, "Kenesha, you better get it", when the question was about the United Negro College Fund. On the Thursday program he said that "Episcopalians are Catholics who flunked Latin." Surely the company will make him apologize for that comment!
There are numerous sites for people to vent about their dislike of Trebek. I thought Trebek should have been fired when he made a 12-year-old boy cry, because the boy had put an extra "t" in his answer of the Emancipation Proclamation.
How dare he correct pronunciations! Since he obviously thinks he's perfect, I wrote to Jeopardy! and asked them to tell Trebek HOW to pronounce sophomore as he says "soph-o-more! Recently he corrected an Hispanic's pronunciation of "Elaine" (see on YouTube) although he allowed "Benes". I agree that the contestant was amazing to have known the character Elaine's last name, but Senor Cortes' answer should have been allowed! In the same episode a contestant's answer of "haute" was allowed, although the "h" was pronounced. Mister French-Canadian Trebek should have disallowed that pronunciation also!
I am looking forward to having a new host. I read that the new host will be Matt Lauer. I saw Brian Williams being interviewed and he was asked if he'd accepted the job and he answered that he hadn't even been asked! I like Brian Williams and really enjoy his repartee with David Letterman when he's a guest. I'm hoping for Brian!
