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Saturday, June 24, 2017

MALE BOVINE FECAL MATTER DETECTOR

At one of my management positions, the company employed an assiduous Private Investigator who was sedulous in ferreting out and proving fraud by employees claiming Workers Compensation for alleged accidents and other fraudulent claims.  We worked closely together on numerous occasions and I oftentimes said that he had an automatic "BS DETECTOR";  I guess I could have used the euphemism MALE BOVINE FECAL MATTER DETECTOR!

One case involved a woman named Amanda who had claimed a back injury and was receiving medical care and Workers Compensation.  One day, I went into the women's restroom at work, and as I was in a stall, I heard a voice say, very sotto voce, "I thought you should know that Mandy is working under the table at her step-father's car dealership in Urbana."  I did not know the identity of the whisperer but I hurried back to the office and called the P.I. and he said, "I'll have to check all the dealers in Urbana to try to figure out which one."  I said, "Maybe her personnel file would have her mother's married name as her next of kin and we could find out that way."  I went to Human Resources and voila; there was Mandy's mama's name on her application.  The P.I. said, "You just saved your Company money by thinking of that;  you should be a P.I. in another life!"

When the P.I. went to the dealership, he wore his arm in a sling.  He told Mandy that he wanted to test-drive a car, and he asked her to do the driving, lift up the hood, show him the spare tire, etc.;  all of the activities were prohibited by the restrictions for her alleged injury.   Of course she was unaware that she was being filmed and recorded.


Not only was she charged with committing fraud to the company and Workers Compensation, but she was also reported for not claiming her under-the-table income from her step-father. 

She never knew what had transpired until her hearing and she actually said, "This isn't fair, it's entrapment." Afterwards, the P.I. said to me, "She watched too many TV shows, didn't she?"

After leaving that company, I recommended him and his company whenever I was involved with resolving suspicious claims at my other places of employment.


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