Friday, September 20, 2013
"IF YOU WILL"
OK, I could just drop this or go on about it; OK, I shall go on with it.
Please add this to the PU/YUCK FILE. (CLICK HERE to see PATTY'S PU-YUCK-FILE)
For the last four days on television, various people have put this worthless bit of the English language in their sentences. I mean fancy people, hillbilly people--but tonight was the limit-- a serial killer said it in an interview.
(Wait a minute while I wipe the “flop” sweat off me and get a righteous look on my face.)
I NEVER want to hear or see this phrase again in a sentence: "IF YOU WILL, YAK YAK YAK YAK........IF YOU WILL, YAK YAK YAK." That expression doesn’t make sense and shouldn’t be used ever again.
What do they mean: IF I WILL? It’s not me saying the damn sentence. What if I will WHAT? Yeah, what?
I think I will fly off to the Balkans, if you will. But first I will hide the Easter eggs, if you will. Then I will skin the chickens who laid the EASTER eggs and fly them to the Balkans, if you will. And, please jump off the plane, IF YOU WILL!