I will be selling my ITALIAN CHARM BRACELETS (see my website at: www.charmsandmore.weebly.com) at the following Craft Shows and Festivals this fall:
SCHEDULE
OCTOBER 3, 4, 5
NEW HOLLAND AUTUMN FEST
5:00 PM--9:00 PM Thursday and Friday and ALL DAY Saturday
OCTOBER 11
AMERICAN LEGION POST 25
9:00 AM--2:00 PM
NOVEMBER 1
COURT HOUSE MANOR NURSING HOME
9:00 AM--4:00 PM
NOVEMBER 8
AMERICAN LEGION POST 25
9:00 AM--2:00 PM
NOVEMBER 9
YMCA
9:00 AM--1:30 PM
NOVEMBER 9
THE WELL
2:00 PM--8:00 PM
NOVEMBER 15
THE LITTLE RED SCHOOLHOUSE
(FAYETTE COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS)
9:00 AM--5:00 PM
NOVEMBER 22
COUNTRY GLENN NURSING HOME
9:00 AM--4:00 PM
I will also be supplying from my home. Do not hesitate to get in contact with me at 740-335-8034 or 740-505-6047 or go to my website.
I try to use the word icon ONLY when referring to religious pictures properly called ICONS! I am sometimes forced to refer to the little symbol at the bottom of my computer screen as an "icon", but it is painful to do so. My brother commented, "Sometimes you're so damned strict I think you're French." (I must admit that's rather adroit and amusing!)
I nearly screak every time I hear an UN-ICONIC object, person, or thing described as ICONIC!
Please read the essay from the Poet M.E. Tuthill called "ICON'T STAND IT". (A bonus: I had not read her poetry, but after reading her essay I ordered The Linen Man.)
Don't get me started on CHARISMA and CHARISMATIC!
CLICK HERE to read the article "Icon, Iconic, and Other Overworked Words."
I am irritated whenever I see television reporters or read newspaper coverage, especially of crimes, when the lead will be something like: "The 42-year-old grandmother..."--any age can be substituted for "42"-- I swear I have never seen an article starting with "The 42-year-old grandfather...", have you?
If being a grandmother were relevant to a story, I could understand the inclusion, but it rarely is. Is being a grandmother a woman's principal identity? I have seen Nancy Pelosi referred to as a grandmother, but John Boehner? Hardly! Ruth Bader-Ginsburg; but not Antonin Scalia? Never! Goldie Hawn but not Harrison Ford? Always!
In an earlier BLOG article (CLICK HERE to read) I noted the THREE STAGES OF A WOMAN'S LIFE (which includes my humorous addition as I am not a mother).
1. SOMEBODY'S DAUGHTER
2. SOMEBODY'S WIFE
3. SOMEBODY'S MOTHER.
Well, I can add another stage:
SOMEBODY'S GRANDMOTHER.
Some in my family--including myself--still use the word "thongs" to describe those rubber, floppy, sandals held on the foot by a strap between the big toe and next toe! I had never heard of the footwear called "thongs"--let alone the term--until my brother who was in the navy in 1959, brought them home. My other brother (from the Army) called them "shower shoes" and another friend always said "zories" and another said "go-aheads", but all one hears now is "flip-flops".
The history of the various iterations is interesting. CLICK HERE to see the article from one of my favorite sites Grammarphobia called "Who's Zori Now" (that title is just TOO cute!).
A friend sent this graphic and asked if I knew the word for fear of palindromes. I answered that I didn't, but of course, I had to find it. It's AIBOHPHOBIA!
In honor of aibohphobia, Les and I had to start a new refrigerator game with only PALINDROMIC NAMES (CLICK HERE to see BLOG article on REFRIGERATOR GAMES):
HANNAH Shirkey (my grand niece)
BOB Elliott (Gerald's friend)
ADA Nestor (Mrs. Edwin Nestor)
ANNA Nestor (Mrs. Nestor's granddaughter)
ELLE Fanning (the actress--Dakota's sister)
OTTO von Bismarck (the German Chancellor)
GIG Young (the actor)
AVA Gardner (the Barefoot Contessa)
EVE Harrington (from All About Eve)
EMME Aronson (the plus-size model)
ANA Ortiz (from Devious Maids)
RADAR O'Riley (OK, I know that's a stretch!)
MOM (desperate from now on!)
DAD
POP
SIS
MUM (the Queen's mother)
and of course NEVAEH (CLICK HERE to see BLOG article NEVAEH)
I wrote BLOG articles entitled THE BEST COMPLIMENT I EVER RECEIVED (CLICK HERE) and ADDENDUM (CLICK HERE).
Today, I received the SECOND best compliment in my life.
My client said, "When you're 90 years old, I hope you have someone just like you to be your caregiver."
I asked her if her husband had family buried there and she said that his parents and grandparents were. I asked, "Is Richard his father?" She looked astounded and said that was her husband's father's name. I told her that his grave is near the graves of my husband's family. She said that her husband's grandparents were also buried there. I asked, "The Chandlers?" She said, "This is amazing; how did you know?" I then told her about my BLOG article about BRENDA LEE (CLICK HERE to see the article) and she said, "That's Aunt Bim!" In my article I mentioned about two children being at the cemetery with their grandfather and today I learned that April's husband and sister-in-law ARE the children and they learned that I am the "mystery person" who puts flowers on their Aunt Bim's grave.
Yes, I'll read magazines at the doctor's office and I always have reading material in the car or purse in the event that I might be stranded somewhere, but I don't carry Stephen Hawking's books or Principia Mathematica with me. I've had some marvelous conversations with people about books they were reading.
Today at a local restaurant which features a couch, comfortable chairs, and a coffee table, as well as regular chairs and tables, I noticed a young man sitting on the comfy couch, eating a scone, and drinking a latte, as he was reading a book by The Dalai Lama. (Hey, I'm observant, and I yes, I listen to the orders of others; thus I heard his detailed la-di-dah coffee order!) I told the gal waiting on us, "I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I think the scones are awful, but I do love the cream puffs!"
The book the young man was reading appeared to be from the library because it had the protective cellophane wrapper I see on library books.
I said to my luncheon companion: "Watch this." When I got his attention--which was easy; after all, he obviously wanted people to pay attention to him--I folded my hands, did a quick head bow and said, "NAMASTE!"
He looked absolutely thrilled and returned the gesture!
Walking out, I felt bad--there I was making fun of his conspicuous display of seriousness--and he thought I was sincere!
Today's A.Word.A.Day from Wordsmith.org, "tragus", (see below) just reminds me how much I treasure unusual words--especially about body parts! Another anatomical word --PHILTRUM--is delightful--I find a "pronounced philtrum" to be a very attractive facial feature--probably because several of my brothers have nice philtrums, but then again, so did Abe Lincoln! Jon Hamm and Matt Damon also have pleasing philtrums, but Cary Grant has the double-whammy: GREAT philtrum and even GREATER cleft in his chin!
(TRAY-guhs)
MEANING:
noun: The small fleshy projection at the front of the external ear, slightly extending over the opening of the ear.
We were having a CHILI COOKOFF at the Continuum Of Care (CLICK HERE to see BLOG article) and we asked for volunteers to bring the side-dishes and one person spoke up and said, "I'll bring the peanut butter sandwiches." WHAT? I gather that it's a common practice.
Recently, I was treated to homemade chili at my client's house and their daughter said she would bring the mashed potatoes.
I said, "That must be the SIXTH way.", referencing Cincinnati Chili 5-WAY. I asked, "Do you put the chili OVER the potatoes, or the potatoes IN the chili?" "Whichever way you like them", was the answer. I told her when we serve chili for Gerald's poker parties, we have it FIVE ways: with the choice of crackers, macaroni, onions, bell peppers, or cheese--or ALL--if that's the preference.
OK, I could just drop this or go on about it; OK, I shall go on with it.
Please add this to the PU/YUCK FILE. (CLICK HERE to see PATTY'S PU-YUCK-FILE)
For the last four days on television, various people have put this worthless bit of the English language in their sentences. I mean fancy people, hillbilly people--but tonight was the limit-- a serial killer said it in an interview.
(Wait a minute while I wipe the “flop” sweat off me and get a righteous look on my face.)
I NEVER want to hear or see this phrase again in a sentence: "IF YOU WILL, YAK YAK YAK YAK........IF YOU WILL, YAK YAK YAK." That expression doesn’t make sense and shouldn’t be used ever again.
What do they mean: IF I WILL? It’s not me saying the damn sentence. What if I will WHAT? Yeah, what?
I think I will fly off to the Balkans, if you will. But first I will hide the Easter eggs, if you will. Then I will skin the chickens who laid the EASTER eggs and fly them to the Balkans, if you will. And, please jump off the plane, IF YOU WILL!
Random Thought: Saying it Correctly
By Larry Chapman
Like many Americans I have a colloquial dialect. I can walk into a bar anyplace in America and whoever I speak to might say, “You’re not from around here, are you?” There is no “r” in wash but unless I’m paying attention I will say, “warsh.”
Recently I purchased a bag of quinoa, a supposedly nutritious grain grown in South America. I’ve read the word many times but never heard it said. My version of saying it is quin-no-ah. I mean, isn’t that how it looks? I told a knowledgeable foodie friend about buying some and when I said the word he laughed at me and told me the correct pronunciation is keen-wah.
So, now I’m faced with one of at least three choices; spend the remainder of my life practicing to say it right, never say the word again, or feed this crap to the raccoons and forget it exists. Or, I could just cook it up, eat it, and tell my other foodie friends I had a bowl of South American mush for breakfast.
I have written previously about my mother's "SONG GAME" (CLICK HERE to see "MY BROTHER BODE" blog article) and recently I told a new group of acquaintances about the game and they said they would like to play.
GLADYS' SONG GAME RULES:
ANY NUMBER CAN PLAY
PRIOR TO THE START OF THE GAME, THE CONTESTANTS WILL AGREE ON THE NUMBER OF POINTS TO BE DECLARED A WINNER.
A SCOREKEEPER WILL BE CHOSEN.
FIRST PLAYER: chosen by coin toss or someone volunteering to start and the SECOND PLAYER is the one who yells out "I KNOW!".
FIRST PLAYER: begins by starting to sing a song and then stops on a word.
The SECOND PLAYER has two options:
SECOND PLAYER: must be able to sing a different song using that same word the first player ended with. The SECOND PLAYER receives a point!
The SECOND PLAYER can also challenge the FIRST PLAYER because the FIRST PLAYER must also be prepared to sing a different song using the word he/she chose. IF the FIRST PLAYER does not have a song, he is penalized a point and the SECOND PLAYER receives two points. IF the FIRST PLAYER is challenged and does have a song ready, he receives two points!
If there's a CHALLENGE it must be entered before the SECOND PLAYER begins his/her song.
THE SECOND PLAYER must have a song ready even if he/she challenges. IF the SECOND PLAYER would not have a song ready, he/she would be penalized a point and would lose his/her turn.
THE SECOND PLAYER then begins to sing a new song and stops on a word.
FOR EXAMPLE, on a current game with the new acquaintances: The FIRST PLAYER started with "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah" and I was the SECOND PLAYER and I came back with "Doo dah, doo dah, Camptown Racetrack's 5 miles long, oh, the doo dah day." I received ONE point. IF I had challenged, which I would normally have done, and the FIRST PLAYER did not have a song ready, I would have received TWO points. (See my generosity by stopping on the word "day"? I'm only generous with novices!)
Mother's rules were VERY strict. With her rules, I would have had to have started with a song starting with "DAH", rather than the DOO DAH, but with our relaxed rules, one can start anywhere within the lyrics of a song.
In relating the story to my brother, he guffawed at my claimed "generosity" and said, "Yeah, if you'd been playing with me, you would have stopped on "gwan", "bobtail" or "nag". Now, that's funny: "gwan ta run all night, gwan to run all day, bet my money on a bob-tail nag". I said, "No, I would have been generous with you; I would have stopped on somebody bet on the BAY!"
My brother and I play the game frequently; usually Gerald just shrugs and avoids us. I don't know why I have the reputation of being competitive!
My client said that after getting to know the assistant, he felt the assistant was more qualified than himself and should have been given the position previously. He said, "He was a real intellectual; he used words like ephemeral!" I chuckled and my client asked if I knew the word. I gave him my definition: "Short-lived, momentary, brief, transitory, fleeting." He said, "Use it in a sentence."
As we had been listening to Mario Lanza singing Valencia earlier that day, I said, "Before there were phonograph records, music was an ephemeral art."
After hearing about his friend, I said, "He must be the most magnanimous person you've ever known."
My client said, "He would have liked that word!"
A charm customer had her children with her and all you readers already know what a sucker I am for blonde-haired boys! {Gerald would be proud that I did not use the term "tow-head".) Little Nehemiah was surprised when I remarked that his is a Biblical name and I said that I only knew of one other person named Nehemiah and that was Nehemiah Persoff, the actor. He exclaimed, "You're the only one who's ever known of another Nehemiah!"
Nehemiah's grandmother said that he could have four charms on his bracelet. He had chosen a dinosaur but said he wished he could have a dragon instead. I said, "I have lots of dragons; I love dragons!" He substituted a dragon instead of the dinosaur. As I was attaching the dragon charm to his bracelet, Nehemiah presented me with a picture he'd drawn of a dragon. I said that we would have to put it on the refrigerator. I asked, "Is that fire coming from his mouth?" He answered no and I said, "Oh, look at this charm with lots of fire coming from his mouth!" Nehemiah chose that charm instead.
Nehemiah kept asking me unusual questions: "Do you spend a lot of time in the library?" I answered, "Yes, I usually have the computer in there." He asked, "At that desk?" I said, "Yes." He continued, "Do you spend a lot of time on the telephone in there?" I answered, "Yes, it has a speaker phone and I can type and talk at the same time!"
Although I did wonder why he was so inquisitive and I did notice that he was folding another piece of yellow paper, but I am seldom surprised by kids. After he had gone, as I was putting the computer back on the desk, I saw a folded sheet of paper under the receiver on the telephone! This was just the sweetest present!
See Nehemiah's FIRE BREATHING DRAGON artwork!
After reading the article which included 25 COMMON PHRASES THAT YOU'RE SAYING WRONG, a friend e-mailed and asked, "How about people who say PAWN OFF rather than PALM OFF?"
Les said, "Those are probably the CARD SHARKS!" (Of course Les knows it's really supposed to be CARD SHARPS!)
PALM OFF definition from the Free Merriam Webster Online Dictionary: "to dispose of, usually by trickery or guile."
PAWN OFF definition: "a corruption of PALM OFF."
See fellow BLOGGER Melissa Maygrove's "Grammar Police Monday" article here.
Yom Kippur 2013 is observed on Sept. 13-14, 2013. Known as the Jewish Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur falls on 10 Tishrei 5772 on the Hebrew calendar, which is from sundown on Sept. 13 to nightfall on Sept. 14.
The Day of Atonement is considered the most important day of the Jewish year, as evidenced by the synagogue attendance rate: More people go to temple on Yom Kippur than any other holiday.
Yom Kippur marks the end of the Days of Awe, a 10-day period of teshuvah (Jewish reflection, repentance and return) that begins with Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.
During the Days of Awe, Jews seeks forgiveness from friends, family and co-workers, a process that begins with Tashlich, the symbolic casting off of sins that is traditionally observed on the afternoon of Rosh Hashanah by throwing bread into a body of water. On Yom Kippur, Jews attempt to mend their relationships with God. This is done, in part, by reciting the Vidui, a public confession of sins. The holiday has the most extensive prayer schedule of the Hebrew calendar and arduous abstinence from food, drink, sexual intimacy and animal-based clothing, such as leather.
All major Jewish holidays, including Yom Kippur, consist of four main prayer services: Ma'ariv, Shacharit, Musaf and Mincha. Yom Kippur, though, is unique. It begins with Kol Nidre, a legal document that is hauntingly chanted and emotionally charged. The Book of Jonah is read during the afternoon prayer service on Yom Kippur day. The Day of Atonement is the only Jewish holiday that includes a fifth prayer service, called Ne'ilah, which is a final plea of repentance before the gates of heaven are said to close. The Ne'ilah service precedes the shofar blowing and the end of the fast.
While Yom Kippur is characterized by solemn fasting and marathon prayers of repentance, it is actually considered the most joyous day of the Jewish year because it commemorates God's forgiveness of the sin of the Golden Calf, the Israelites' slip into idolatry after the giving of the Ten Commandments, and is considered a time to spiritually start anew.
Tomatoes are indigenous to the New World; Aztecs cultivated and ate them. When the Spaniards took them to Europe in the sixteenth century, many thought they were poisonous. Tomatoes are in the same family as tobacco and the deadly Mandrake! Some thought they were an aphrodisiac. (CLICK HERE to see an article on love apples.)
The French named them pommes d'amour--LOVE APPLES--and the French are always so succinct because I LOVE tomatoes. (CLICK HERE to read another article.)
I want them HOT from the garden; I will wash the dirt off--with HOT water--and grab the salt shaker. As I say, "I never met a tomato I didn't like", and this season has been splendid with Gerald, family, and friends enabling my addiction! Ah, but the lovely Rutgers is my favorite.
Oh, sadly, the season is nearly over and soon I will be cursing those PLASTIC tomatoes in the grocery!
Edwin M. Nestor, aged 91, husband, father, grandfather, and retired high school Superintendent, served in the Navy in World War II.
Listen to Placido Domingo sing Mr. Nestor's favorite song Granada in Spanish, and then read the lovely lyrics in English by CLICKING HERE.
"And if you could speak, what a fascinating tale you could tell,
Of an age the world has long forgotten."
R.I.P.
When interviewing people, if the candidates bragged about their multi-tasking ability, it was definitely NOT a selling-point to me!
Read the article from NPR HERE.
From THE WISE GEEK:
People who think they're good at multitasking usually are the worst at it, research shows.
The ability to multitask effectively might vary depending on personality type and the ability to focus. Research has found that people who test high for personality traits such as impulsiveness and risk-taking are often the least effective at multitasking, but they also are the most likely to multitask and to think they are good at it. Researchers believe this might be because people who have impulsive personalities are easily distracted and unable to focus on one task at a time, leading them to multitask. People who are able to focus on the task at hand have been found to be the most effective at multitasking, which researchers concluded was because those people were not multitasking out of distraction but rather with the intent to be more productive.
Was John Keats gazing on a "love apple" like this when he penned his immortal words? (CLICK HERE)
As I was gazing on that PERFECT tomato, I quoted Keats, and my ever-witty sibling asked, "How's it going to be forever after you eat it?"
I doubt that any photograph can perfectly capture its essence. It's a "Big Boy".
This year my brother Norman is raising an heirloom tomato--the persimmon tomato--which was introduced to our country by Thomas Jefferson in 1781, but our all-time favorite tomato is the Rutgers which is also an heirloom tomato. Although the Big Boy is gorgeous, the Rutgers is more flavorful.
Mr. Kelley, my high school history teacher, used to say "as it were" and "as is my wont" and back then, we would make fun of his usage, but I still use those phrases now, as does my brother, and as we use them, we usually remind ourselves of Mr. Kelley's continuing influence, as it were!
From one of my favorite sites Grammarphobia:
"The noun "wont" means a habit or custom, and it can be pronounced several ways: like "wahnt", or "wunt", or "woant". Here's a good illustration of its use, from an 1851 issue of Harper's Magazine: "The elegy was concluded and I was rapturizing even more vehemently than was my wont, when whack!, I received a blow on my shoulder." So, the expression "as is my wont" means as is my custom or as I usually do. Example: I get up late, as is my wont, but I managed to get to work on time."
There used to be a verb, "wont", now long obsolete, that meant to do habitually, or to make someone or something accustomed to. The verb was used in its past participle form (both "wonted" and "wont") as an adjective meaning accustom. Thus, a nineteenth-century observer might have said, "I drove my wonted carriage to the ball," or "I am wont to walk to church."
Similarly, something "unwonted" was unfamiliar or out of the ordinary.
The Chambers Dictionary Of Etymology says the adjective was developed in medieval times from an Old English verb ("wonen" or "wunen"), meaning dwell or accustomed. The noun "wont" came from the adjective."
As is my wont, I like "old-fashioned" words and phrases, and appreciate Mr. Kelley's influence.
From THE WISE GEEK
The average household of people in the United States spend more than $100 per year on electronics that are turned off but still plugged in to a socket.
An estimated $10 billion is wasted each year in the United States on "vampire power", or energy that is used by electronic devices that are plugged in but have been turned off and not being used. Common examples of energy vampires are televisions, microwaves, electronic chargers, computers and battery-powered remote controls. About 10% of energy used in the average American household is thought to be vampire power, and it costs more than $100 per year for the average household. The effects of energy vampires can be reduced by unplugging unused electronics or using a central power strip which can be turned off when the devices plugged into it are not in use.
He said, "Do you have any other things you do because of your O.C.D.?" By that time, I found his questioning, although amusing, rather intrusive, and I answered by asking, "Is yours limited to twirling the lollipop stick?"
He said, "I do this to control my tics." I asked, quietly, "Do you have Tourette's?" He said, "You're as observant as I." We discussed Tourette's and he said that he'd read that there are similarities between O.C.D. and Tourette's in the same brain area. As we were discussing his tics and my compulsion, I was indeed sad that he was called to go in to see the doctor.
See another BLOG article NIK NIK NIK here.
A friend e-mailed and commented that she had not seen any "CRINGE" postings on the BLOG in a long time and she included the article "25 COMMON PHRASES THAT YOU'RE SAYING WRONG" and wrote that she was providing it for my "edification and delectation". I am very fortunate to have friends who use polysyllabic words! I was relieved to know that she wasn't directing it toward me as I am not guilty of any of these and have included a number of them in other "CRINGE" articles.
I wrote to her, "I just heard Alex Wagner introduce Julian Bond as the President Emeritus of the NAACP," except she pronounced it "EM-UH-REET-US"!
There's never any surcease in CRINGING!
Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, is celebrated in 2013 from sundown on Sept. 4 to nightfall on Sept. 6. The Hebrew date for Rosh Hashanah is 1 Tishrei 5774.
Though Rosh Hashanah literally means "head of the year," the holiday actually takes place on the first two days of the Hebrew month of Tishrei, which is the seventh month on the Hebrew calendar. This is because Rosh Hashanah, one of four new years in the Jewish year, is considered the new year of people, animals and legal contracts. In the Jewish oral tradition, Rosh Hashanah marks the completion of the creation of the world.
Rosh Hashanah is the beginning of the Jewish High Holy Days, or Yamim Noraim (the "Days of Awe"), and is followed 10 days later by Yom Kippur, the "day of atonement." The Mishnah refers to Rosh Hashanah as the "day of judgment," and it is believed that God opens the Book of Life on this day and begins to decide who shall live and who shall die. The days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are viewed as an opportunity for Jews to repent (teshuvah, in Hebrew) and ensure a good fate.
When I hear people say "That's like comparing apples and oranges," I know that they believe the opposite, because they are commenting about a topic of great difference, but it is illogical to use the phrase because apples and oranges are similar in many aspects:
1. both are fruits
2. both are planted from seeds
3. both grow on trees
4. both are usually found in orchards
5. both are sweet
6. both are similar in size
7. both can be eaten raw, cooked, or juiced
It would be better to say, "That's like comparing apples to orangutans!" Those are very dissimilar!
If you saw the movie The Lovely Bones, then you will recall the haunting performance of the then 13-year-old actress Saoirse Ronan. When we were watching Atonement, in which Saorrse also appeared, Les asked, "How is THAT pronounced?" I said, "Hell, I don't know; I just found out that Siobhan is properly pronounced like Sha-vone!" He said, "What, like Siobhan McKenna?" I said, "Yeah, but I found out from watching that Sarah Michelle Geller series about the twins and one of them was named Siobhan and they kept saying Sha-von and I kept laughing to myself thinking that their pronunciations were wrong, but then when I looked it up, I found out I had been wrong.
SAOIRSE is pronounced SERE-SHA! (listen to the correct pronunciation here)
In researching the pronunciation of Saoirse, I found this video about the mispronunciations of the names of other celebrities: Dr. Seuss, Shia La Beouf, Chad Kroeger, Quvenzhane Wallis, Martin Scorsese, Rhys Ifans, Ralph Lauren, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Amanda Seyfried, and Charlize Theron. I knew how to pronounce all of them EXCEPT Dr. Seuss!
WHAT? WHO KNEW? Seuss is pronounced like "SOICE" (to rhyme with VOICE)!
One morning, I was walking through my area and I noticed that a female supervisor was wearing jeans. She actually looked very well turned out, with a white blouse and red blazer, black jeans and cowboy boots. (She had transferred from the Tulsa plant to Columbus and a great number of Tulsa-ites wore boots.) The jeans were a no-no. I went to her and said, "I'll watch your area while you go home to change your clothes." She said, "What do you mean?" I said, "You know that jeans are not permitted." She said, "But these are DESIGNER jeans; I paid $50 for these; they are Gloria Vanderbilt DESIGNER jeans." I said, "You know the rules." She said, "This isn't right; I'm going to Human Resources." I said, "NO you aren't; you're going home to change your clothes; this is a direct order." She said, "I suppose this is Robbie's doing." My boss Robbie was very strict. [I would NOT break my rule of blaming a decision on my superior.) I said, "No, I'm sure Robbie hasn't seen you or he would have called ME!"
I dislike the idea of casual Fridays. Why should one be casual any day of the week? I think casualness in apparel makes for casualness in all behavior. I recall the first time I worked on a Saturday at International Harvester and I came in dressed as usual and all the other Management people were dressed "casual". I never dressed "down" although my colleagues made fun of me, my workers did not. One of my workers commented, "They don't realize that you STAND OUT now because you are the only one dressed right." His saying "right" was the affirmation I needed.
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AMBIGUITY: an expression that can be variously interpreted.
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA...... FLOOR.
2. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S
THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD
DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
3. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
4. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS
WITH SOAP?
5. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF,
IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
6. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
7. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN
ENDANGERED PLANT?
8. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
9. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
10. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID
SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?
11. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
12. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
13. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO
REMAIN SILENT?
14. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
15. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW
ROAD SIGNS?
16. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
17. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
18. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
(This one took me a minute)
19. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
20. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
21. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
22. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
23. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
24. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
25. WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS "GUIDE DOGS ONLY"; THE DOGS CAN'T READ AND
THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND?
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