Tuesday, October 15, 2013


Gerald says I don't have any guts unless I tell on myself about wearing SPANX: we went to his 50th class reunion several weeks ago and I had bought a new 2-piece outfit to wear. As I do not "try on" items at stores, I was sad to realize that when I got dressed, I had a problem with "gaposis" on the top of the outfit. I remembered that I had bought SPANX shapewear last year and had never worn it. After struggling to get into the THING, it was very uncomfortable, but I had no back fat showing and no "gaposis" in the front! I was thrilled.

Earlier in the day, a classmate of Gerald's had called and wanted to know if we would come to South Charleston to pick her up and take her to the party. I told her that Gerald was on the Committee and had to be at the Country Club at 4:00 PM, but I would come to get her in time for the social hour at 6:00. It was stupid for me to agree to do that favor because I was stuck with having her as a companion all night. Her ex-husband (who is actually a friend) was there; the discomfort of trying to be a diplomat in that situation was no comparison to the discomfort of wearing SPANX. It was okay as long as I was standing, but sitting was uncomfortable. The choice had to be made--the discomfort of standing with my feet in uncomfortable shoes OR the discomfort of sitting wearing a SPANX onesie! The wise decision was to go home and put on my robe!

After the dinner, I told Gerald I was going home, but he and his classmate could stay as long as they wished and he could take the classmate home. When he got home he asked why I had been so cranky! I said, "If you had been wearing SPANX and HEELS, you would have been cranky too!"

Ever since then--and as recently as yesterday--whenever I'm cranky, either Les or Gerald will ask me "Are you wearing your SPANX?"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Funniest damn thing you've written! ML