"WHENEVER..."

Mona Lisa said I should start an ongoing BLOG feature called "WHENEVER". When I asked her why, she said, "Because you are always telling me, "Whenever....."

She gave me these examples:

Whenever I am asked "race" on a questionnaire, I always answer "HUMAN"!

Whenever I am speaking to a "Customer Service" person and I can tell that the person is from India/Pakistan, etc., I always ask, "How's the weather in Calcutta today?" Les said I should switch to "Mumbai"!

Whenever I'm alone and going into a restaurant and the hostess asks, "Just one?", I immediately look around stealthily, and ask, "Is there some rule that I can't be alone?"

Whenever a clerk at the store asks, "Did you find everything today?", I always answer, "No, do you mind waiting while I go back and get the other 10 things on my list?"

What did Cleopatra say to the snake? "Nobody likes a smart ASP." So, being a smart ASP gives me a little relief in my day from dumb-ASP people!!