SEPARATE THE WHEAT FROM THE CHAFE

I attended a lecture last night where a local cardiologist was presenting a program entitled PREVENTING HEART ATTACKS. Because of Gerald's past history, I was interested to learn any relevant information.

The doctor had a Power Point presentation and he was holding a microphone around his chest area. I was in the last row and could not hear him. I said, "Please speak up."

His first screen showed: "SEPARATE THE WHEAT FROM THE CHAFE".

I couldn't help myself; I giggled and jotted it down. A person--a stranger--sitting beside me, asked, "What's that mean?" I said, "It should be CHAFF!"

Later, on a screen instructing preventive measures it showed, "LOOSE WEIGHT, instead of "LOSE". I giggled and jotted it down.

During his presentation the doctor mentioned about "TV doctors selling products like Garlique". I heard a male voice behind me laugh and say, "That's Doctor Oz." I turned around in my seat and I recognized the speaker as a local doctor. I said, "You're VERY wrong; Dr. Oz does NOT sell any products; perhaps you should watch him!" He gave me a withering look and I said, "He only sells books and they are all best-sellers!"

After the presentation, some people in the audience applauded and the emcee said, "Let's give him another round of applause." Of course I did not applaud either time. Standing on the edge of my row was a member of the Hospital Board of Trustees and I spoke to him and his wife as they are members of another organization to which I am also a member. He said, "I notice you didn't applaud." I answered, "No, I think he's just an ambulance chaser." The Board Member was obviously taken aback as he asked, "What do you mean by that?" I answered, "He was trying to recruit new patients and he did a POOR job!" He said, huffily, "I disagree with THAT!" I said, "But you have a conflict of interest as he's associated with the hospital and I'm objective!" For some reason, they moved away!

The doctor was soon surrounded by some very important-looking fellows and a doctor I recognized. I went to the doctor's PA and I asked, "Did the doctor prepare his presentation?" She said that he had written it and she had prepared it. I asked, "Then you didn't know it should be CHAFF instead of CHAFE?" She said that she had prepared what he'd written. I said, "He seems rather busy over there; will you give this note to the doctor?" She looked at it and said, "I don't understand." I said, "Oh, let me clarify." I printed, "If using a cliche, make sure it's not an eggcorn!" Then I printed, in block letters, "WHEAT FROM THE CHAFF; see Matthew 3:13!" and I also printed: "LOSE WEIGHT". I said to the PA, "I'm available if he needs a proofreader." She looked at the note and said, "You didn't put your name down." I said, "That's because I was kidding!"

I saw a former classmate who is a retired teacher and she was standing with a former school administrator who holds a PhD. I asked, "What did you think about the wheat from the chafe"? The former classmate laughed and asked, "Oh, yes and how about loose and lose." The former school administrator said, "I didn't notice and I'm an English major." I stood at attention, saluted, and said, "It would have been great if you had majored in English." She looked at me strangely and said, "I did." I saluted again and said, "No, you said you were an English major!" My former classmate said, "I must introduce you to Phyllis Sue Shirkey-Raypole who knows everything!"

I SHOULD have said, but I didn't: "I only correct MDs and PhDs who should know better!"

eggcorn
PRONUNCIATION:
(EG-korn)

MEANING:
noun: An erroneous alteration of a word or phrase, by replacing an original word with a similar sounding word, such that the new word or phrase also makes a kind of sense.
For example: "ex-patriot" instead of "expatriate" and "mating name" instead of "maiden name".